Abbey Chord 🎵

@abbeyisme.bsky.social

896 Followers 3672 Following

Music | Mets | Buckeyes | Hockey | 🏳️‍⚧️in NJ Writing my first novel. “I’ve lost my mind just a couple of times.” Discord: abbeyisme PFP by @wizard-of-roz.bsky.social

Two notifications alerting me that schizanon.bsky.social has added me to the lists Wrong About VR Crypto Smart-Glasses GLP1 NFTs or Bitcoin and Rent Free Heads even after they were blocked.
The coffee shop was tiny. There was not a suit or tie in sight. The Grateful Dead was playing from a Bluetooth speaker behind the wooden counter. A hand written chalk board listed the few choices they offered. This place made Vito’s place look corporate and Alice loved it. A single employee was clearing off a table and announced he’d be right with them. He had blonde dreadlocks, a tie-dye shirt underneath overalls, sandals and socks. A card next to the register let everyone know the WIFI name was VOTING and the password was DOESNUTHNG123. Instinctively, Alice and Marcus logged their phones on. The man returned to the counter. “Sup? What can I get you?”
The shop was mostly empty. There was not a rush for coffee at 4:30 on a Saturday afternoon. A few stools and booths were populated, though. A kid was working the counter. He was about the same age as the little shit at the pizzeria. His pink hair draped over his uniform visor and a pride pin was attached to his apron strap. He had multiple tattoos on his forearms. Alice wondered how this kid had the money and the time for all of those. His name tag read “Bernie He/Him”. She took her air pods out and returned them to their case dangling from her bag. Harry Connick, Jr. was playing throughout the store. An interesting choice. “Welcome to the Bean Counter. You can count on me for your perfect coffee order." Alice looked confused. “Vito doesn’t make you say that, does he?” “I’m trying some stuff out,” Bernie proudly replied, “What can I get you?”
“Hello?” There was no response but she could hear music coming from the patio. She went into the bedroom and found the pile of blankets on the floor. She picked them up and tossed them on the bed before continuing to the bathroom. She was still wearing her sunglasses. She removed them revealing her bloodshot eyes. Her eye makeup was smeared and a mess. It looked quite punk, actually. Alice liked it but could never recreate it, so, she decided to just leave it. The contacts had to go, though. Out they came and she could feel her corneas breath. She put drops in each eye and donned her black rimmed cat-eyed glasses. She changed her shirt and pulled on a pair of capris sweatpants. She took a huge breath and made her way to the kitchen. There was still coffee in the press. She poured the remainder and went outside. Baker charged at her and almost knocked her over. Margaret looked up from her scrolling, “hey.”
Betty pulled the security gates down and locked them before turning out the lights. The three them headed down to the basement where Betty and Lois had set up a rehearsal area and makeshift studio. There were foam mattress pads nailed to the walls to drown out the sound. Several floor fans kept the room cool. They had to be turned off during recording so the sound didn’t end up on the record. Alice attended one recording session and then never again. Alice kept her old Stratocaster and a practice amp in the corner, along with a few pedals. Her board here paled in comparison to what she had at home. An overdrive, distortion, and fuzz, plus a compressor to keep everything level. Her more adventurous pedals, like her delay and chorus were banned. “This isn’t a fucking hippie show,” Betty chastised her. On the drums was Bernice. By day, Bernice was a meter maid, by night, she was one of the best drummers nobody had ever heard of. Her mismatched drums were covered in stickers. One tom was gold and another green. The black bass drum had a caricature of her holding a dead flower. It reminded Alice of the Green Day “Kerplunk” album cover but Bernice at least pretended not to see it.
After dinner, Alice took a few beers and went to the basement. She turned on the lights. Along the far wall, four guitars were mounted, a white Gibson SG Les Paul Reissue, a Tri Burst Les Paul Standard, a black Stratocaster Standard with a white pickguard, and the prize of her collection, a vintage 1961 sunburst Fender Jazzmaster. She had a Fender Princeton Reverb amplifier on a stand. A giant pedal board splayed out in front of the amp, populated with numerous effect pedals of various sizes and colors. In the corner, there was a platform where a Martin dreadnaught sat. A humidifier is parked next to the platform. She plugged a wire into an outlet and multicolor lights illuminated the entire area. Taking the SG off the wall, she plugged it in and began running through every Nirvana song she knew and then switched to The Velvet Underground. By the time she had finished her third beer she was sitting on a stool and noodling. She stumbled back up the stairs and slept like a baby.
Margaret rolled back the chair and flopped down. She pulled out a drawer above her legs where the keyboard and mouse were stashed and turned on the computer. She then opened a drawer to her right and pulled out a neatly stacked pile of papers with markups of 4 different colors. She stopped quickly like she had been shot with a lightning bolt, took another sip of her laced coffee, and then turned to the bookshelf to her left. Only one of the shelves was three-quarters filled. There were still 5 and a quarter to go. When Alice asked her why she needed to have so much shelf space, Margaret just said, “Goals.” On top of the shelf sat a Bose Bluetooth speaker, a gift from Alice when they finished the office. She turned it on and opened up the music app on her phone. Thinking what kind of mood she was in this morning, she finally keyed in her selection and sat back down as Prince filled the room. Baker came in with the remnants of the stuffed squirrel they gave her years ago. She carried it around the house as her trophy. Baker was given more access to the office than Alice was. She dropped her “buddy” as they called it and lounged down next to it, falling asleep with the plush carcass under her chin.
“Oh, there you are. Let me in.” Alice opened the door and pulled her in. Margaret had a basket of other clothes. She dumped it all on the bench and separated them. “I have some fun things here. Here’s a pair of leggings. I love these. Try this on,” she handed her a camisole, “if you like it, I can grab some other colors.” Alice pulled off her shirt and fumbled with the camisole. “Here’s a bralette. You won’t need this yet, but –” Margaret saw Alice topless, “Oh, maybe you do,” she said as she poked Alice right in the tit. She grabbed back the camisole, “Try the bralette first.” Alice did as she was told. “How does that feel?” “It feels right,” Alice responded as she pulled on her new favorite shirt over it. She loved it ever more now as she could see just the slightest hint of a bra strap sneak out of the collar.
“I don’t know if I should be mixing. I have to get home.” Lois locked eyes with her and very deadpan, “You are home.” Alice froze for a second, “Fuck you. You know that creeps me out.” They all had a giggle. “Yes! We got a smile,” exclaimed a triumphant Lois. “Down the hatch, girls,” ordered Betty, and they all did as commanded. “You’re staying here tonight. We’re going to finish this, um, ceremony, then we’re going to eat some terrible Chinese food, then we’re going to keep drinking. We’re going to smoke drugs and watch some bad TV until we pass out. In the morning, Betty is going to make us breakfast before we open the shop up. If you want to hang out with us, we will let you pick some, not all, of the playlist. I am not letting that hippie shit I know you listen to on in my store.” Lois was already a little tipsy. “We can also just keep drinking and let you vent and see where the night takes us,” added Betty, “a true girl’s night.” Alice liked the idea of that and poured her next round.
CHAPTER 1 Thursdays were always busy for Alice. This morning, she used up all the snooze options she included in her alarm. When she still didn’t get out of bed her wife Margaret flicked her ear until she rolled out. Alice retaliated with a quick tickle before running to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet and began opening pill bottles. Allergy medicine. Vitamins. The routine continued. She moved on to the prescription bottles. A yellow circle pill, then, as she had every morning for the past 2 years, she paused on the two blue oval pills before placing them under her tongue. As it dissolved, she looked herself over. The tingle was still slightly there. She was still amazed at what she saw looking back at her in the mirror. Although she was always going to be her own harshest critic, even she could not deny the transformation she saw in front of her. Her tight tank top showed off her new body. Her breasts pushed through the fabric. She placed her hands on her waist, right where it curved in from her torso and then out to her hips and thighs. She cut the figure of an athletic woman. The black polish on her fingers was peeling and though she would fret about it to Margaret, she actually liked the punk/alt girl look she always wanted. She tied her hair up in a tight bun and hopped into the shower. After which, she meticulously applied her makeup. There would be no meetings today, so she dug out her favorite pair of jeans and an old Nirvana shirt. She let her hair down, gave it a tussle and then put it back up in a high ponytail, leaving tendrils framing her face.
Alice knocked on the door and Lois opened up. She was in a silk bathrobe and yanked her in by the collar. The lights in the apartment were dimmed. Candles were lit and the music that was playing was weird as fuck. Betty, in a camisole and sweatpants, joined them from the kitchen. She was holding a tray with 12 empty shot glasses. She placed the tray on the coffee table and skipped over to their bar. She took out four bottles and returned to the coffee table, placing a bottle at each corner. There was an Irish Whiskey, Rum, Vodka, and of course Tequila. Alice took a seat on the couch.
Alice smiled back and mouthed “thank you” but not sure if any sound came out. As Alice ate and scrolled, she started feeling better. There was nothing a little pizza and doomscrolling to get over being clocked by a punk kid that has probably never seen a naked woman outside of his Groyper chat rooms. The crust, the most depressing part of the slice. It was bland and practically tasteless but also because it signified the end of the pizza. Alice had a system of eating pizza where she would eat the end of the slice sideways so she was getting the crust and a little bit of the actual pizza with the sauce and cheese. Having finished the second slice, Alice cracked open the Coke and tossed the plates in the garbage. As she was leaving, she watched as an unsuspecting customer got sprayed twice in the face with water from a spray bottle from Pete. “What the fuck was that for?” Alice pointed at a custom sign hanging underneath the menu that read: Staff reserves the right to spray water in the face of anyone that orders pineapple on their pizza.
3 condensation puddles randomly in the shape of 2 dots for eyes and another in the shape of a smile on a fake light wood table.
Phish Radio incorrectly spelling the name of the town the show is in. It reads New Bruswick, NJ. It should read New Brunswick, NJ.
Fluffy white clouds under a blue sky. There’s a tree that has not yet begun to bloom in front of a cookie-cutter white house with black trim.
A red pen sits on top of a white piece of paper with a black binder clip. The paper has black printing that says first draft edit, Untitled Alice, a novel, by Abigail Chord.
Bobble head of former Met Peter Alonso. His head has been broken off and placed on his raised arm.
In the panel, a pack of wolves crammed into a car with a smashed-in front end drive past a "Deer Xing" sign
Screenshot showing the book This Has All Been Wonderful has been added to my “to read” book list.
A screenshot of a block list called Antis for “people who hate “people” who use AI/Bitcoin/VR/Robots, or only criticize those technologies to defend their ego.”
Blu Ray cover of Ken Burns’ documentary of The American Revolution.
An I Voted sticker with the words written in white capital letters. There is a partial red white and blue flag on the top of the sticker.
Antidwatch.bsky.social profile
Almost clear blue sky and several tall, green trees. Some very faint white clouds are seen.
A blue book with rainbow drop-shadow words that says The Dad Rock That Made Me a Woman by Niko Stratis
Madison the mermaid lays on the beach smiling with her head on her hands. Her orange tail can be seen partially.
Dumbass trying not to look like a dumbass with his dumbass car. The back of s silver cybertuck with Toyota written in black letters. There is also a small black sticker with white letters that claims they bought the car before Elon went nuts.
Block lists
Block this asshole
Crypto Bro (bot?) to block
Focal Banger IPA can is black and silver. Dead Flowers IPA can is silver. The flower artwork is dark blue and light blue design surrounds it.
Nevada book cover by Imogen Binnie. The book is orange with a green cactus-like image on it.
Mute goosemas because I don’t need to pretend they are anything more than a mid level band on their best day.
Orange shirt with black outline lettering that reads Welcome to Four Seasons Total Landscaping Philadelphia PA. Not the four seasons hotel Philadelphia. There is also a graphic of Gritty riding a lawn mower.
@chiboy12.bsky.social to block
I Voted Early sticker from New Jersey. Square sticker with waving red white and blue American flag and the words I Voted Early beneath it in white letters.
Shady profile of Charlie Wards
Fake Emily St. James profile to report and block.
Another not Elon Musk to block.
Howie Rose says Put it in the Books while standing inside Citi Field.
A New York Mets hat sitting next to a brown McDonald’s bag and a large cup of Sprite. A sacrifice to the Grimace god.
Northern lights look pink and light blue over trees.
Northern lights over New Jersey.
Dawn at Citi Field in 4K
Report and block fake Elon Musk @elonmusk01266.bsky.social
Large grey cloud blocking the sun. Lots of blue sky (no pun intended) to either side. Tree tops in lower part of picture and on right side.
A shot of tequila sitting next to a Mets batting practice hat on a brown wooden entertainment stand. The hat has a blue brim, blue pinstripes, two orange stripes with a blue stripe in between. A blue and orange New York Mets logo.
One World Trade Center rising through the clouds on a rainy night. The base is lit up and random floors have lights on. There are rain drops on the outside of the moonroof.
Scam account @davejoh968.bsky.social
@krazymanuel.bsky.social wants us to block his ass
White sign with vertical green letters that read Abbey’s Pub on a wooden wall.
Abbey’s black nails. RIP.
Fake Matt Walsh to block. @realmattwaish
Can of Uncle Arnie’s Iced Tea Lemonade with 10mg of THC. The can is red, blue and yellow tie dye pattern.
Moon peaking through the trees on a clear blue New Jersey morning sky.
Madison the Mermaid lounging on the beach as played by Daryl Hannah. She is smiling with her head resting on her hands, draped by her long blonde hair. Her orange tail is slightly visible.
Lisa Simpson standing in front of a tombstone telling Bart “Oh my god the dead have risen and they’re voting Republican”
Negative Covid test.
Roger Smith from American Dad in a blonde wig and purple suit. He is dressed as Genevieve Vavance persona.