Adam Stemple

@adamstemple.bsky.social

1923 Followers 561 Following

Writer, musician, asshole. Will die on any hill. www.adamstemple.com

Some dickhead posted “Jane had…many problems with some of the writers who knew her personally, but Alzheimer’s is not one I would wish on anyone. Hopefully, she is now in a better place, and the children’s book industry as well.”
Aberlemno standing stone with serpent and z-rod.
Aberlemno standing stone with serpent and z-rod.
An absolutely cursed giant crescent moon statue in a witch hat. Bet you didn’t think those words all fit together.
Scammer says: Hi Adam, this is Lex McKenzie from Global Book Network. I'm reaching out to see if you have time to speak with us about your book. Our team would love to interview you and share your work with our audience. I reply: That sounds amazing. My fee for online appearances is $1,000. For live it depends on location, travel expenses and per diem. Please let me know if this is acceptable and I can direct you to my booking agent.
A decorative notepad with a broom-tipped pencil on it. Written on it is the grocery list of Baileys, whiskey, and hot sauce.
Me filling out the terf lady’s form with “peepees scare me. Especially when I was expecting a hooha.”
An ancient pig pot.
Black and white drawing of a warrior fighting a skeleton. Text reads: What are the four core character classes? Wrong answers only.
I hate every wave of the ocean. -Charles Darwin to W. D. Fox 15 Feb 1836 | Oh my God how I do hate species & varieties. -Charles Darwin to J. D. Hooker, 11 Mar 1858 | I am very tired, very stomachy & hate nearly the whole world. Charles Darwin to Thomas Huxley, 10 Sep 1860 I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody & everything. Charles Darwin to Charles Lyell, 1 Oct 1861 | I hate myself, I hate clover, and I hate bees. Charles Darwin to John Lubbock, 3 Sep 1862 | I am languid & bedeviled & hate writing & hate everybody. -Charles Darwin to J. D. Hooker 23 Jun 1863
Cover of the book Trapped In the Bookstore by Beth Martin, a cozy escape room in a book. Image shows a perfectly charming bookstore nobody could possibly want to escape from.
Cover of Milkweed Days by Jane Yolen with photographs by Gabriel Amadeus Cooney. A young boy in a striped shirt spins in a field of milkweed, sending the seed puffs spiraling into the air.
A board headed golden carnyx, the instrument that struck fear into the hearts of Roman invaders.
Gravestone with a woman weeping in Jesus’s lap that, from certain (most) angles looks like she’s sucking holy cock.
@ryanrychardremias.bsky.social spamming multiple accounts with the same bullshit about Mpls. shooting.
Description of violation: I saw Ken Paxton in a dress in the woman's bathroom of Dulles airport involved in some kind of auto-erotic asphyxiation. When approached to get him to stop, he just shouted "Go Cowboys!" and kept pounding his pecker like it owed him money.
Label that says favorite day, super strong icing, great for attaching walls and roof
An AI response to “How far is 10 long blocks in Minneapolis” that reads “10 long blocks in Minneapolis are approximately three-quarters of a mile, or about .75 miles. In Minneapolis a long block is typically about 1/8 of a mile, so 10 long blocks is equivalent to 10 x 1/8 = 10/8 =1.25 miles, which is approximately 3/4 of a mile.
Exterior view of a window to a basement apartment which has been nearly completely bricked over. I'm sure everything is fine.
I really wanted to submit to your new magazine, but I just can't bring myself to do it. There are many other options than Substack, but you have chosen it. I can only assume you don't know about their white supremacist connections or don't care. Either one is unacceptable. I will not be associated with anyone that is in business with a company that sends out push notifications for Nazi blogs. I am certain you won't care much if one author with half an award and a couple dozen short story sales refuses to submit. But I hope you will hear from more authors taking a principled stand, and maybe you will change your newsletter provider. It would cause some short term upheaval for you, but in the end, you would know that you did your part in not helping mainstream an odious ideology that doesn't need any extra help in capturing the hearts of the bigoted and fearful. If not, then I hope your magazine fails spectacularly. Yours, Adam Stemple
"the minnesota review is now on Substack — our new online hub for updates, archive gems, editor sneak peeks, themed calls, writing challenges, submission calls, and more."
Pic showing 3 listings of shlock books almost certainly written by AI that came out mere hours after the pumpkin-headed racist incel got plugged. I won't list the titles here, but just imagine a bunch of lionizing horseshit about "his legacy" and "his tragic death" and you'll be in the ballpark.
We exchanged numbers at the charity gala. Ah, charity, a trait not well known to our kind. Better the vices: sloth and gluttony and greed; who can tell what a man of virtue will do? Someone who has councilors with the devil will make the same choice on every occasion.
I’m Lynn. Don’t you remember me? Lynn. The name conjures no images, but I have lived many lives, seen so many horrors... I sleep but little, and those haunted by dreams. The old gods, they speak through dreams. If I only spoke their languages.
Text convo: hey, do you still remember me? I have only vague memories of the before times. Glimpses only. Many-lobed eyes and tentacles in the night. Tell me, traveler, by what are you called?
A photo of a bunny with a pancake on its head. Yes, you read that right.
Sign that says “Parking Violatoin Frees”
Second in a text convo where the person has responded (quote disappointingly), “You can.” I responded in two parts. First: “Things are moving quickly here. The dogs cornered the beast in an icy cavern. The yeti fought savagely, killing three of the dogs, and injuring two of the sherpas. I am afraid they won't survive. But finally, my rifle proved fatal, as one of the many shots I fired pierced his heart.” Second picture has remainder of text.
A random text arrives from an unknown number. It reads “Are you in the office now?” Obvious spam. I answer with “No, I am back in Nepal. It took months to gather the funds for this hunt, and every day wasted meant the trail grew colder. The yeti they killed my wife and unborn child haunts my dreams still, a looming presence. I am close now; I hear it hooting at dusk and dawn, taunting me. The wolves sometimes echo its call, as though in the thrall of the great beast. It tasks me, lord it tasks me. But I shall have it, if it costs me all my days.”
An absolutely horrifying giant plastic crescent moon. It is yellow, with crooked teeth, red eyes, and a witch’s hat. Purest nightmare fuel.
Two feet (very happy feet) in a swimming pool.
A photo of some of my responses to orange shitler’s stupid ass DEI snitch sheer. Including “Steven Miller got hired even after fucking a black goat. A white goat, sure. But a black goat is both demonic and DEI.” and “Pam Bondi are an entire bag of dicks in college.” Will I be filling this form out multiple times? Yes, yes I will.
Alone It is impossible to meet this moment alone. But that’s how it starts; we can’t be together until we act as one. Make that phone call, write that email, put on boots and march. Freedom can only be bought, not borrowed or stolen, with the lives of those who value it for everyone. Everyone dies, yet no one dies alone. Not with so much to win and only our lives to lose. Do not be afraid, you are not alone. You were never alone. —Adam Stemple
A post board outside a bookstore that reads “Books. The original hand-held device! Need an upgrade?”
Plastic owl with an exasperated expression with a bird nest on its head.
Amazon page for THE PREFRONTAL PLAYBOOK: Hacking Your Brain to Beat Anxiety and Depression. 2 beautiful five star ratings have been added.
4 copies of a mostly white book with a stylize silhouette of a head with gears and cogs inside it — which is, to be clear, not how the brain looks or works. Text on the front cover reads "The Prefrontal Playbook: Hacking Your Brain to Beat Depression" and the author name, Adam Stemple, at the top. Back cover shows the phrase "You've learned how to survive with mental illness, now learn how to thrive despite mental illness" and a lot more text that is too small and blurry to read..
Text reads #1 in Depression (Kindle Store)
Image showing the book listing for The Prefrontal Playbook: Hacking Your Brain to Beat Anxiety and Depression by Adam Stemple. Little orange banner reads #1 New Release in Psychological Pathologies.
Image shows a sidewalk chalkboard that reads “Books, the original hand-held device! Need an upgrade?”
Error report to Google. Text reads "I googled Gulf of Mexico and this bullshit showed up. Do you folks have to lick the fascist president's boots, or is it some kind of fetish? For fuck's sake grow a spine."
Three book covers of Adam Stemple's How to Write Fantasy Novels series. The front cover's text is fully shown and reads "How to write Fantasy Novels: Volume 1: Getting Started. Adam Stemple, Locus Award Winning Author of Pay the Piper." The covers all feature open books at the bottom that appear to sprout landscapes of forest and mountains, all with a dragon somewhere in them, either flying or seated on a pile of gold. Quite snazzy, if I do say so myself.
White text on a black background reads "Post this and let your mutuals decide what you're most known for."
Video shows a woman’s hand drawing “hi” on a sketch pad that is part of a car for some unfathomable reason.
So. Much. Candy. Table with pile Of candy
Images shows a merch table for WrittenWell.com.
Image shows gamecam's profile with 1 follower, 1 following, and 234 posts.
Photo of the poster, a 30ish bearded man in a black leather cowboy hat and an eighth note tattoo on his pinky.