Baxston J. Winston

@agluttonouswuff.bsky.social

853 Followers 1198 Following

22 Years | Macro and Fat Fur | 18+ only, y'all | Professional Autistic | Has a thing with HUGE men lol PFP: @glazfox.bsky.social Banner: @bakedproducts.bsky.social Taken by @bigsentinel.bsky.social

Personal Game Grid Favorite Game: Fallout New Vegas Best Story: Bioshock Favorite Art Style: Deltarune Biggest Personal Impact: Dark Souls 2 Scholar of the First Sin Best Combat: Half-Life 2 Overhated: Fallout 3 Underrated: System Shock Enhanced Edition Overrated: GTA V Game I Need to Give an Honest Shot: S.T.A.L.K.E.R Shadow of Chernobyl Criminally Overlooked: Vintage Story Latest Game I'm Into: Elden Ring Favorite Antagonist: Fallout 2 Best Soundtrack: Kings of Hell Best Multiplayer: Team Fortress 2 Not Usually My Thing, But...: ULTRAKILL Turn my Brain Off: Minecraft Best With Friends: Terraria Best Retro Game: Fallout (1997) Nostalgic Childhood Game: Armored Core Nine Breaker DARK SOULS 2 SOTFS (nuff said)
Another year... You know, it's been a real roller coaster of a year for me. And I don't mean that in a good way, either... my passion for writing was completely demolished, alongside the things that I care about being taken from me and ripped to shreds right in front of my eyes. This is the most self hatred I've ever felt about myself so far...and it's not something I usually bring up to people, because the last thing you all need is to see just how much I hate myself in reality, a majority of it not even being warranted, if at all. And yet, I still do it, because while I always help others and everything...the only person who I cannot help is myself. I just want to feel hopeful about things again. I want to be able to have that passion to write and create for myself, like I used to back in the day. But I suppose it's simply too much to ask for, all things considered, and as long as things remain uncertain, for me and everyone that I care about, I don't think I'll ever feel truly happy anytime soon... I hate a lot of people, but it pales in comparison to how much my mind likes to make me hate myself, for not doing enough with my life...for not being enough for those I care about...and for myself too. And as long as these thoughts remain on my mind, struck on my very being and soul...I don't think I'll ever truly be at peace with myself.
A post that tags Miekki and I by stating, and I quote,“@miekki.bsky.social i forgot to mention recently he wanted to break up with you to be with @agluttonouswuff.bsky.social which would be your bfs new boyfriend. I see a pretty toxic relationship I'm here help you both if you need, or if you guys just want separate that's totally fine with me.” Along with a reply that simply states, “Just know I really can't do much so don't get your hopes up.”
A monochrome, traditional headshot drawing of singulartesticles’ Felix.
I need to lock the fuck in. I don't care if it hurts me at all, I need to get my fucking life together. Logan is already doing it, so why the fuck can't I? why can't I just be fucking creative again???? Why??? Why does my body refuse to do so??????? Fucking why Why do I have to make things more difficult for myself and not get shit done It's almost like a conscious habit that I can't break out of no matter what I try, or even how much I try Somebody please just give me a reason why l shouldn't just give up on myself at this point, when my uncle told me that I won't live a "normal life" ever. As if anything in life is fucking "normal," yeah. Thanks for reminding me that you're about to be my 13th reason why I'll fucking end it all.