Angry People in Local Newspapers

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Angry People in Local Newspapers - Weird news - Bizarre headlines - Wild animals and ghosts which are actually cats - Bonkers billboards by @alistaircoleman.bsky.social. It’s a comedy account, so stop arguing. Avatar image by @tpneenan.bsky.social.

The Taliban using pedalos.
Poole Park pedalos.
BBC: 'Bus fare cut is no good for those who drive,' says Durham man
Belfast East: DUP's Gavin Robinson beats off Alliance leader Long
Meet-and-greet with football legend Kevin Keegan cancelled …because he’s dead.
"I regret buying my Spanish holiday home - anti-tourism protests are ruining my life'
Burnley College media tutor beats off rivals from across the globe to scoop top award.
< The Community Table, Eau Claire ... 1d• O We would like to offer condolences for the recent passing of Richard "Dick" Porn. As someone who was involved in a number of volunteer and social groups in our area, Dick was known to many. Guests of The Community Table were able to share Dick's legacy with the help of a generous donation of 129 pounds of food from his Celebration of Life, including a variety of fruits, salads, rolls, meats and cheeses. We thank Richard's family for thinking of those in need during this time, it is such a wonderful way to honor a loved one Only people who follow this Page for more than 24 hours can comment.
YOUR POEMS Fish and Chips by Annie Thompson Sitting in the garden at the pub, soaking up the sun as you should. Sun brollies up for some of us. A catch-up with family and friends, hopefully going to enjoy a slap-up meal, or, as some might say, grub. Listening to the old pop songs and singing or humming away. Another beer or wine whilst we decide what to eat, seems like an extra treat. All decided, and we head off to the bar and order. At the bar, all's not good. So sorry, not got that one, or that one or that, so sorry we've been so busy, we have sold out of all that stuff. OK, let's forget it, we'll have another round of drinks, and have a think. Returning to our table, I tell the gang. OK, so it's a no brainer, we'll finish our drinks and go down the road and get some old-fashioned, cracking FISH AND CHIPS.
BBC: Goose causes power cut to hundreds of homes
Northeast senior beats off bear with fists.
CHINNY RECKON.
The Guardian - The one change that worked: I tried the 'no poo' method -and it transformed my hair. Picture is of a ginger guy with spectacular curly hair. The benefit of no poo.
The News, Portsmouth • 2d • • A funny one from the past week - police in Gosport were shocked when they found a snake in their car.
Norwich Evening News Taxi driver calling for longer grace period when paying parking fees via apps.
The West Australian: A story about how the local authority was playing Hot Potato on repeat to disturb rough sleepers.
Bunbury Herald (Australia): Kenita beats off hot competition Kenita is seen on the waterfront at Bunbury, in a bikini and a sash, holding a bouquet.
Man sits on concrete steps, surrounded by turds.
CHURCH TIMES 12 April 2019 Death penalty made harsher.
Lady Jacks off to hot start in conference
Telegraph: 'Anti-social' parrot banned from garden. Photo shows parrot sitting on the shoulder of an old chap in a Glasgow Celtic shirt.
Dumfries News Gazette: VANDALISM. A traffic cone on top of the Robert Burns Statue in Dumfries town centre has been branded as "ridiculous" and as van-dalism". That's the opinion of Dumfries Burns Club secretary Donald Gibson who is fed up of the monument being targetted Mr Gibson says he was happy to see so many visitors to the area and at the Burns Statue during the weekend. But the Burns Club stalwart was left furious and horrified that the tourists were having a chuckle at the cone on top of the historical landmark. Mr Gibson said: "I was delighted to see a group of English tourists enjoying the summer sunshine in the centre of town at the weekend "However, my delight swiftly dissolved into despair when I realised they were having a laugh at the ridiculous traffic cone stuck on top of our precious iconic statue to Scotland's National Poet." Mr Gibson is now calling for Dumfries and Galloway Council to arrange to have the object - which he claims is vandalism and disrespectful - removed from the monument. He also wants further action to deter from any other potential incidents. Mr Gibson added: "Please can the local council arrange to have this object removed from the monument and ensure that any images
Why Yellowstone won't euthanize the bison that tossed a grandfather.
Fast food chain launches salad-free happy hour for customers avoiding explosive diarrhea parasite.
Norwich Evening News: Fed-up folk are calling for six shipping containers dumped near their homes removed. Picture shows one Kevin Bacon (although he is closer to Kevin Gammon, tbh) leaning against one of six cargo containers in his housing estate. The image is captioned “The contents remain a mystery”, but it’s wasps and turds.
News headline: WHY MAN SHAVED HAIR TO LOOK LIKE BADGER.
It was time for Thomas to leave. He had seen everything.
From a Thomas the Tank Engine book: The driver stopped him and the fireman went to turn the points. "Now for my plan," said Thomas and he bumped the trucks fiercely, jerking the driver off.
Four traffic cones around a leaking standpipe.
know what you're thinking, but your memory is playing a trick on you. Zara Death Pants never did a Peel Session, nor did they play Glastonbury - the all-girl indie band split immediately after the release of their hit single Dangerous Trousers, blaming a series of legwear-based mishaps and a cease and desist letter from Lionel Blair.
Man fined for feeding crumbs from butty to pigeons.
Pink suitcase lady.
Murder She Wrote, gone bad.
Sex sign ban on East Lothian roundabouts as advertisements to be considered.
Ann Summers aims to beat off rivals with loyalty club.
Richard Hammond looking miserable in the rain.
Snoopy, with tits.
Dog with 'Scotland's biggest boobs' dies as owner holds funeral in her memory. Picture shows a dog with tits, crudely censored.
An Archie comic, in which our hero has beaten off three teenagers.
TO SOME, it may appear that our democratic process is being turned into a farce, with the forthcoming by-election in Clacton; this should never happen, as parliamentary representation is a serious affair. It's outrageous that an honourable politician should forced to contest against a self-serving, joke candidate with no serious policies. One can only hope, for Clacton's, and all our sakes, that Count Binface is elected to Parliament with a thumping majority. MARK GUGAN Dorchester
Dorset Echo: SeaLife Weymouth gives update after fire breaks out.
A selection of funny newspaper ad boards.
Paddington as British Death, by Jim’ll Paint It. I’ve got this on a T-Shirt.
THE COUNTESS AND THE RIVERS XXXVI …companions on Christmas Eve and promptly shopped him to Moray's men.Westmorland tried a rescue with the assistance of some Scottish riders and English Forsters, but was beaten off, and Northumberland remained a prisoner until he was handed over to Hunsdon two years Later, in return for a cash payment, and beheaded at York. His brother Harry Percy succeeded him. Meanwhile the Countess, left in lock of the Side's hovel had been…
Bewdley salon beat off 1,000 UK hairdressers to be crowned the best.
local life in a (Falmouth) Packet Drunk falls on face A DRUNK man in Falmouth shouted at police 'catch me if you can' before trying to run off, only to fall flat on his face. Samuel Terry, 22, of Porthia Road, St Ives, pleaded guilty to being drunk and disorderly in Church Street on August 26 and to possessing 0.01 grams of cocaine at a hearing at Truro Magistrates Court last week.
Facebook: The Gimp Man of Essex 3d • Just when I thought I was retiring, Clacton needs me! How would I fare up against Nigel? Any ideas for the manifesto? Picture shows a gimp on (I think) Clacton Pier.
BBC: 'Toadal wipeout' cancels parkrun for fourth time.
Martin from Friday Night Dinner, boiling.
Putin. Topless.
A topless man buying a slurry pump.
Former Eastenders actress Tracy-Ann Oberman slams 'pretentious' restaurant after husband accidentally eats napkin.
Royston Starling owner of Perfectly Pulled.
liverpoolecho.co.uk Man's Tesco wipes mix up leaves him with burning pain.
Dorset Echo: Weymouth and Portland miss out on becoming UK's first town of culture.
Phil Collins in a bleak stairwell in the old part of BBC Broadcasting House.
Actual popular beat combo Toploader.
POEM OF THE DAY By Kenneth Mood FEED THE SOIL Feed the soil, and plants will grow. Feed the heart with the word And good behaviour will happen. There is good fruit and bad fruit. And things taste different. Each fruit is good and plants need Compost to thrive and give seed. Life is about giving and taking. Feed the soil, farmers know. Children soon know the truth in the world. Family fun is very important. Seasons come and go and we learn on the job. War and peace, dry and wet. Hard and soft, these words go together. Life and death, light and dark. We are in the world but not ruled by it.
The West Volusia Beacon Off the Beat: If you blew off your court date, don't be carrying around your crack cocaine September 10, 2022.
Burghfield and Mortimer Gossip Bev [surname redacted] Looking for someone who gives a good facial in Burghfield or Mortimer or close by.