Ariel Elias

@arielcomedy.bsky.social

3152 Followers 191 Following

Punchup.live/arielelias Comedian, Kentucky, Jewish, Beer chugger

The pens they give out at the voting booth are like the Democratic party. Sometimes they just stop working, so you have to shake them and try something new. And then they're like, I'm a free pen, what did you expect, and it's like, ok but what if it was free AND it worked well, and they're like, why aren't you more grateful for this piece of junk, and then you find out you subsidize way better pens for people who could afford to buy pens anyway and this metaphor may have gotten away from me.
The dad from Walk Hard who says "the wrong kid died" but it's "the wrong mayor got arrested." Eric Adams suuuuucks