Chris

@ary.bsky.social

1374 Followers 146 Following

Occasional writer, sometimes game developer, constant spreadsheet nerd. '90. He/him/any. Mute #uspolitics to avoid my copious posts about the state of the world

Panel 4 of a comic

Derek: "Sadly, the only thing they fund now is the dang military."
Derek: "Carte blanche for "military preparedness" and such."

Derek stands with him arms crossed, looking kind of like a lil stinker. A bit of smoke blows from his nose.

Derek, small aside: "heh heh"
Derek: "But I got an idea."

Panel 1 of a comic titled "New New Deal"

Derek stands with nose upturned, holding a tangled cassette tape at arm's length.

Derek: "Oof, sorry my friends."
Derek, small aside: "ahem"

Derek: "I simply cannot palate another twenty five years of art made almost exclusively by the children of landlords."

Weirdly yellow ramen noodles in a disposable plastic bowl.

There are chopsticks present, in what feels like a slap in the face to actual ramen.

Panel 4 of a comic

Derek, looking ticked off with smoke coming from his head, holds Wilbur sitting on one arm.

Derek: "Children's safety is priority #1!"
Derek: "School zone speed limit is 15, but I drive five MPH! Five!"

Derek makes an emphatic hand chopping gesture with a fip sound effect. Wilbur does a little patpat on his head.

Derek: "I'll tell ya what, tho. If I saw one of them joker politicians crossin' the street I'd slam the gas!"
Derek: "Spin out on their guts!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "They Hate Babies!"

Derek is playing with a baby up on a table with a mobile hanging nearby.

Derek's daughter, off-panel: "Thanks for helping today, dad."
Daughter: "Wilbur really likes you."

Derek: "Well, I like him, too!"

Baby (Wilbur), small aside: "Gah!"

A coil-bound copy of my book, Dust Bunny. I'm not going to put its full text in the alt text because you can just ask me for the Google doc of the whole book if you really want to read it. Shrug emoji.

Kraft mac and cheese ramen bowls in a grocery store

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Freestyle EMT!"

Derek sits with a woman who I'm pretty sure is Rose. He's picking at his arm.

Derek: "I ain't been to a doctor in a decade."
Derek: "I probably need a colonoscopy and I got this weird skin tag-"

Rose: "Skin tag?"

A side view diagram of the parts of a done ceiling light. If you care enough to read this and need the description I'll give it but I'm really only uploading it for Nora to have

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Temple Bandits!"

Derek and his daughter sit forward in pews, in front of a background of people clapping along to music.

Religious leader, offscreen: "Jesus wants you to be rich!"

Derek: "Amen hallelujah!"

Religious leader: "Just like our blessed president!"

Derek: "Hot tea!"
Derek, small aside: "Heh."

Religious leader: "Can I get an amen?!"

Daughter: "Spill it, gf!"
Daughter, small aside: "Heh."

A bumble bee going absolutely ham on some pollen

A pack of Gushers

Panel 4 of a comic

Kid Derek is holding a big bucket of vegetables outside of a plastic teepee. Drug-making paraphernalia is cluttered nearby. Kid Derek looks much happier.

Kid Derek: "Mr. Oz was a drug dealer who lived in the woods where we burned our garbage."
Kid Derek: "He would give us big buckets of vegetables."
Kid Derek, small aside: "Smak!"

Kid Derek: "Anyways, he lived in a plastic teepee and it was all deee-licious!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Kid Dayz"

A young Derek sits in a wheel rim, leaning back against a trash bag with a leg crossed and his arms behind his head. He's filthy and surrounded by other refuse, but looks happy.

Kid Derek: "Too hot to be inside today. No power!"
Kid Derek: "Somebody stole all the copper wire out from under the trailer, lol."

A pill bottle with half hot pink, half powder blue capsules.

Gauze taped to both inner elbows on my arms.

A screenshot of the Likes on this post that confirms beyond any shadow of doubt that gigi likes it

Panel 1 of a comic titled "A New Man."

Derek is struggling in a kitchen overflowing with chaos. Smoke, water, and noise are everywhere and he's holding a large dish of food in his one hand.

His phone on a nearby surface makes a loud "RRINNNNNG" sound effect.

Derek, small aside: "Ut."

Derek answers the phone with one finger and a loud "CLICK" sound effect.

Derek: "Hello?"

Phone voice: "Hi, Mr. Ballard. This is Sue from DCF. I'm returning your call about EBT benefits."

Only 4 pills in a pill bottle

Anya Spy x Family grinning like she's hiding something

Nancy from the comic Nancy is making a squinty face that communicates she can't believe you would insinuate this

A single panel comic

Derek is doing some kind of dance, pivoting away from view on a foot with a "squek" sound effect and maybe also clapping. The background is filled with clapping and applause sound effects.

Derek: "The word's been twisted to benefit some rich jerks!"
Derek: "Feel that? It's your conscience tellin' ya it's sus. "Servants obey your masters"? WTF?"
Derek: "Turn on your mind flashlight! Follow your heart's inner compass!"

Chris and Jenna with matching cotton swabs taped to their arms after having blood drawn.

A whiteboard of word puzzles with

(3) Out
Leg

being the only one actually shown

Screenshot of a reply to OP that says "Haha, I promise I’d only push you down the stairs if there’s a cute anime boy waiting at the bottom 😉💕!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Man-Up?"

Derek is holding a collapsible ladder with some effort, and looking back at another man in overalls.

Derek: "Oh, yeah. Some sicko tried to recruit me for ICE at a birthday."

Other man reads a piece of paper with details of the job.

Other man: "What the heck?!"

Other man: "The pay, benefits- amazing!"

A kitten doing a watery-eyed scream at being overwhelmed by cuteness

This is The Veteran. She wears a brown jumpsuit with yellow accents, it looks very practical but also kind of cool. Her rabbit-themed helmet looks kind of like a fighter pilot's, complete with tubing to run breathable air into it.

Shes brushing her dirty blonde hair out of her face, revealing one eye covered in a futuristic eyepatch and a beautiful but serious face covered with scars.

She looks like she would absolutely wreck you if the opportunity arose. Don't arise it!

A picture of a calendar event titled "Blood work? I sure hope it does!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Opportunity"

Derek is splayed on the ground in front of some party trappings outdoors, like he just fell on his butt, and another man is taking him by the shoulder to help him to his feet.

Other man: "Whoa, buddy. Let me help you there."

Other man: "Who knew kids' birthday parties were dangerous, huh? Haha!"

Derek: "Yeah. I guess so."
Derek, small aside: "Ha."

Other man: "I'm Braiden's dad. I think we met at the Howl-'o-ween Spook-tacular."

A bagged salad with a tomato on top that looked enough like a clown nose that I added clown features to the bag with a marker

Two olive eyes and some kind of bacon-ish mouth floating in water

5etools spells page showing the Filter button highlighted

Picture of the title of The Stinky Cheese Man story, featuring a little man made of stinky looking cheese with a cheese wheel head, two dot eyes, and some kinda bacon-looking mouth.

Screenshot of a closed Popeye's in Uber Eats, with a button that says "View Store"

The moon is saying the below post

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Tardy"

Derek is bent over with one hand on his knee, the other gesturing to his surroundings. He looks overwhelmed. The background is filling with loud shapes and big block letter numbers.

Derek: "Since the clangin' dawn of the industrial age our perception of time's been warped!"

Derek: "Life's bigger than a timesheet!"
Derek: "A clock's tickin' has hypnotized us to this absurd template!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Packin' It Up!"

Derek's long-hair son and youngest son sit on a couch together, playing video games with a cacophony of sound effects.

Long-hair son: "One time I snuck a can of coke in my school lunch."
Long-hair son: "Fourth grade. Felt electric, y'know?"

A panel of Dr Doom crushing a robo-head edited to say "It was... IS... and will always be... MOON who pulls the strings."

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Therapy?"

Derek stands in a construction site, wearing a hardhat and bending over to pick up a brick with a small "stretch" sound effect. He's simultaneously watching something on his phone.

Derek's phone: "Men will literally box a kangaroo instead of goin' to therapy!"

Derek makes a big block letter question mark sound.

Derek, small aside: "Ha!"

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Choice"

Derek and his youngest son are at the checkout in a store.

Derek: "I done told you how to tell if you can use EBT at a dollar store, remember?"

Youngest son looks self-assured.

Youngest son: "If they sell milk and eggs!"

A case of orange Fanta cans with Ghost from Call of Duty featured.

Panel 1 of a comic titled "I quit"

Derek sits on a couch looking sad, making big block letter "wah" sound effects.

Derek's daughter leans over him with her hands on her hips.

Daughter, big block letters: "Dad?"
Daughter: "What's wrong?"

Derek: "Oh, you haven't heard? I'm quittin' comics!"

Daughter, small aside: "Sigh."
Daughter: "You say this twice a week."

Derek, small aside: "Sob!"
Derek: "It's real this time!"

Gator child exclaims "Yes!" with the most stoked face you've ever seen

Panel 4 of a comic

Long-hair son looks in their freezer in the background.

Long-hair son: "Yeah but there was that one time at the BBQ Pastor Ed said the only thing stopping him from taking his AR-15 and turning the shopping mall into an abattoir was his fear of hell and eternal damnation."

Derek is leaned forward either in shock at this revelation or due to the size of long-hair son's speech bubble. He smiles and sweats nervously.

Derek: "What."

Derek's youngest son struts by.

Youngest son: "Yeah, I had to google abattoir that day."

Panel 1 of a comic titled "Community!"

Derek lounges on the ground. In the background his boys are playing video games on the couch.

Derek: "Y'all might be expert gamers, but what about gettin' a "hi-score" on real life!"
Derek, small aside: "snort"

Derek's long-hair son: "Here he goes."
Long-hair son: "Sigh."

Panel 1 of a comic

Titled "My Secret"

Derek sits in a pastoral scene of nature. Music is playing. He's writing on a clipboard on his crossed legs.

Derek, small aside: "Oh!"
Derek: "Hello, friend. I didn't see you there."

Word cloud visualization for 2026 showing my 50 most-used words, sized by frequency. Top 10: "haha" (96×), "text" (83×), "least" (68×), "rules" (67×), "game" (61×), "those" (55×), "find" (49×), "instead" (49×), "makes" (48×), "wild" (47×) (from Anisota's Annual Bluesky Harvest)

Five different security envelope patterns. A blotchy one two different overlapping circle ones, a weaved one, and one that looks like it was crosshatched in pen by hand.

Large Zenith Telescope mirror, a huge pool of reflective mercury

Sickos.png but French

The man in the window is wearing a white wig and aristocratic clothing, is labelled "pervers", and is saying "oui... hon hon hon... OUI!"

The "Final Space" backer's edition graphic novel

A woman with short red hair wearing a vintage blue dress. The caption reads "just went out wearing my 1920s clothing and heard a girl ask her mom if i was a ghost to which her mom replied "no, i think that's just a lesbian"

Nuclear storage silos that look like boobs

A Maxi-Wheat composed of six attached Mini-Wheats

David's above post with an unrelated post above it on my following feed that says "can your gender just be autism"

Anakin from Star War saying "Now this is podracing" edited to say "now this is posting"

A hand with five different colour nails. A teal creme, a sparkly teal, a sparkly white, sparkly dark blue, and neon green creme.

The Surreal McCoy's version of B Kliban's cartoon about a male cartoonist being escorted down the street by two beautiful women but genderswapped. A cop is kicking a pedestrian into the street and saying "out of the way you swine! A cartoonist is coming!" but I've edited cartoonist into "???". Also the beautiful men have skull emoji faces.