Cat

@astrophic.bsky.social

204 Followers 111 Following

AuDHD. Sometimes I write. Can tie own shoelaces 9 times out of 10 🏳️‍🌈 🇵🇸 They/them Alt text: Cover photo: unicorn on hind legs surrounded by stars silhouetted against rainbow Profile picture: drawing of a black and white kitten on shoulder

A green box with a photograph of some tasty looking battered golden rounds with a bowl of sour cream dip.
The text reads:
Plant Menu
Vive le Vegan
Frickles
Deliciously crunchy gherkins in a crispy golden tempura batter

A tattoo of a cat. He is in an illustration style, white with black tail and head and a couple of black spots. He stands on hind legs with front paws in the air. He has pink ears and paw pads. He's freaking adorable

A cup of Oolong tea with milk at the bottom of a cup. The cup is white, the tea can only be described as a grey-beige colour

A red rose in the foreground, bright red with three green leaves and a long stem with three more leaves on. It is being held by a person out of focus in the background, the person has pink hair and is wearing dungarees and a tshirt and is smiling.

A still from shaun of the dead. A male newsreader in a jacket and tie on screen, the caption reads 'remove the head or destroy the brain'

A green-to-beige gradient background with text from Merriam-Webster declaring my 2026 word to be 'mid'

A three lane carriageway at night. There are bushes to each side and a bridge crossing a short distance away. The blurred rear lights of a car are visible on the bottom left.

Four cushions on a white sofa. Each cushion depicts a terrifying screaming goat. Pretty sure it's AI

A chocolate cake, with chocolate icing decorated to look like a monster who has looked into the abyss and the abyss looked back. Its chocolate button and white icing eyes stare traumatised into space. The piped pink mouth hangs open and individual teeth grimace. It has little ice cream cones for horns.

The back of a green Heineken alcohol free lager bottle held in my hand. The text declares it to be (less than) 0.05% vol yet there is a QR code linking to an alcohol awareness website and a link to bedrinkaware.co.uk. why?

A screenshot from the tiktok shop. A truly grungy green, olive and black striped jumper with several holes and tears in it, it's cropped at the waist and has long, baggy sleeves. Text reads 'Proud Wildcat - visit shop. -39% £8.41 (crossed out £13.78 (3.98 shipping) (Plus Size) Striped Print Ripped Flounce Sleeve Crop Sweater, Casual Long Sleeve...

A dropped screenshot from Coral Island showing a shop item called 'Pufferfish Mini Podium' which in fact appears to be a lecturn on top of a podium, in blue and white

A poster for Alien Earth. A Xenomorph, a smooth, muscled jet black humanoid sorta alien figure with a long tail and elongated head crouches over a yellow tank containing a smaller creature masked by condensation. A three star rating declares it to be 'solidly mid' while a two star rating states 'ah, it's aight'

Poster for The Fast and The Furious (2001) ft Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster and Paul Walker looking moody at the top and a blurry speeding car at the bottom.

Head and shoulders photo of Misha Collins as Castiel, a 30-something white man with shaggy black hair and stubble wearing a collared shirt open at the neck and a beige trenchcoat. He is looking sort of intensely sadly at the camera. Caption reads 'feel like pure shit just want him back'

Dr McCoy and Mr Spock from Star Trek (The Original Series). Both have dark hair with a half-fringe and pointy sideburns. McCoy is Human and Spock is Vulcan, visible in his high pointed tipped ears. Both wear blue long sleeved shirts with black collars and gold bands around the sleeve cuffs. Both have silver trek arrowheads on their right pecs. They're holding phaser guns and are exchanging a glance which seems to say 'welp'

Two interlocked keyrings with a variety of yale-style keys threaded on to them. I nicked this from google search and its almost definitely AI generated because it looks like shit

A non binary person with short blonde hair grinning at the camera. There's a filter on the photo adding heavy but natural makeup and a moustache and goatee. I look like someone who'd sell you a used car then give you an STD

There's a lot of text in this image, a photo from a 1913 Pears Encyclopedia. My apologies for only including highlights below:
"BRITISH WEIGHTS AND MEASURES
Since January 1, 1826 there has been compulsory conformity of Weights and Measures."
The first chart on the page reads:
"AVOIRDUPOIS WEIGHT
27 11.30 grains make 1 dram
16 drams make 1 oz
16 oz make 1 pound
26 pounds make 1 quart
4 quarts make 1 hundredweight (cwt)
20 cwt make 1 ton
This is the weight in common use in all trade dealings"

Other charts on the page are:
"TROY WEIGHT"
including grains, carats and pennyweights;
"APOTHECARIES' WEIGHT"
Including scruples and drachms:
"DRY MEASURE"
Including gills, pints, pecks and bushels;
"WINE AND SPIRIT MEASURE"
including pints, hogsheads and puncheons;
"MISCELLANEOUS LIQUID MEASURES"
including hogsheads, pipes, American barrels and tuns;
"LINEAL MEASURE"
Including barleycorns (oh come on. They're making words up now), inches, feet, poles and yards;
"MISCELLANEOUS MEASURES OF LENGTH"
Including leagues, degrees, palms, paces and furlongs.

It's a long and nearly entirely irrelevant conversion chart these days, but it's pretty cool. If you enjoyed this alt text and want to know more about the page please dm me 😅

Two tall glass jars with gold lids, and a small plastic pot with an orange rimmed clip lid. The first jar contains pickled red onion, slices of red onion in a pink-stained vinegar solution. The second is pickled kale, green curly leaves packed into a green-stained vinegar solution. The pot contains pickled courgette ribbons, which you can't really see, but they're there. The jars sit on the grey mottled kitchen sideboard with white tiles in the background.

An idiot (me) wearing a long and very blonde wig with a baseball cap on top and large round sunglasses. I'm also wearing a black hoodie. I'm standing in front of a black curtain dotted with stars and narrow shelves full of different colours of nail polish.

A snippet of white text on a black background reading as follows:
'In Study 1, participants were randomly assigned to a pain or non-pain condition and their consumption of cheesecake was measured. Participants ate more cheesecake (a sweet-tasting food) following a painful experience than a non-painful one'

A close up of some text on a candy bar wrapper. The background is cream coloured with purple and green blobs and the text reads:

'Storage advice
Store cool and dry
Look! Smell! Taste!
Before you waste
Best before end
See under fin seal'

A screenshot from a tiktok ad. A lady in a baggy pink tshirt and sweats holda up a weird hanger- a long strip with individual rods each of which has a pair of pants (trousers) hung over. The caption reads 'Finally a hanger for PANTS'.

Additional but irrelevant info:
The shop link reads 'buy before they're gone'
The account posting is 'Olivia'
The post description reads 'FINALLY space saving hangers for pants! 🙌🙌🙌'
The screenshot was accidentally timed so the lady has her eyes closed but her mouth hanging open

A bowl full of delicious looking crispy golden roast potatoes

A two-column chart.
The heading reads: "Googling stuff..."
Column one reads:
"...Then
Search results:
The thing you want."
Column two reads:
"...Now
Search results:
AI taking a wild stab at it with some blatant misinformation
Sponsored result
Sponsored result
Sponsored result
Sponsored result
People also ask:
(blank lines denoting other things people ask)
View products
(Empty boxes denoting products for sale)"

"©️instachaaz"

A screenshot from Tiktok account 'Chinese with Gina'. The creator is pointing to a sheet with phrases in Chinese and English. The english phrase she is translating is 'I want to die'

A screenshot of a substitution note from my grocery order. They have substituted 600g of parsnips in honey mustard sauce for 400g of cauliflower cheese

I did not draw this. It is in fact a screenshot from the 2004 hit 'JCB song' by Nizlopi. It features a very simple cartoon drawing on lined paper of a big yellow JCB tractor type vehicle on two small wheels with large mechanical scoops at the front and back and 'JCB' scrawled on the front. Inside a little child looks out towards the camera while his Dad drives with a big smile. Dad wears a yellow safety helmet.

A gif from Schitt's Creek. Chris Elliot as Roland Schitt, a man with a blonde mullet and beard, winks at someone offscreen. He wears a scruffy old trucker cap, and an oversized blue sweater over a baggy grey tshirt.

A cartoon. Text at the top reads "Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you 'what really happened', present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth"
The cartoon depicts two ladies wearing old fashioned clothes, one is saying to the other 'The moon landing was faked!' The other lady has a disdainful expression and is saying 'Pfft, you believe in the moon?'

My bluesky roast from blueskyroast.com. it reads as follows:
Cat: The Pro-Palestine Meme Machine of Bluesky

A delightful mix of poignant insights and chaotic humor, leaving followers both enlightened and confused.

"Like a rainbow unicorn at a protest, Cat blends warmth with unapologetic sass."

87% authenticity
80% thought leader
Key topics
95% social issues
90% media commentary

A monster cake in a Carvel Box. The eyes are a little too far apart and the mouth a little too toothy, giving it a look more of existential horror than the happy monster cake it was supposed to be.
Original alt text underneath reads: photograph of the actual cake through a carvel box, the guy looks fuuuuucked uppppppp. He looks surprised and disgusted

A screenshot of a search result for 'disassociate' from DuckDuckGo. The top result is an amazon ad offering 'Low priced disassociation'

Two images. The top image is from Twilight. Bella, a teenage girl, is talking to Edward, a creepy ass stalker 100 year old vampire. The caption reads 'You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change colour, and sometimes you speak like -- like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the sunlight. I know what you are.'

The bottom picture is from Hot Frosty, a film about a buff snowman who comes to life. He's sitting in a car, smouldering at someone offscreen

Me, a non binary person with very short platinum blonde hair styled in a sideways upwards flick, wearing a black zelda t-shirt, looking grumpy with my arms folded. I have been very obviously photoshopped into standing a few miles in front of the great pyramids of Giza, several tall stone sandy pyramids under a pale blue sky.

A graph showing a sharp increase in google searches of 'what is brexit' and 'what does the EU do' after the brexit referendum polls closed

Two photographs side by side, the left is a young masc person with messy brown hair down to their ears, artfully styled over one eye. They're wearing a black shirt and have in black earrings and are taking a selfie in the mirror with a silver iphone. It looks like a stolen instagram post, not a model photograph. A painting is hanging on the hallway wall behind him. The photograph on the right is a very pale masculine bust with blank, staring eyes framed with thick lashes and what looks like drawn on stubble and eyebrows. It is wearing a wig which is allegedly the same as the hair from the other photograph but on this head it looks like a coiffed hairdo on a middle aged lady, with a short fringe, flat sides and a roller-curled top. I find it hilarious both how obvious it is that the person in the left photograph isn't wearing a wig, let alone this wig, and how out of place and ridiculous the actual wig looks on the wig-head bust it's been placed on.

A freshly made golden brown pretzel coated in cinnamon sugar. It sits atop a wire cooling rack with a paper towel underneath. It is misshapen yet perfection

A person from the neck down. They are wearing black shoes with rainbow laces, black leggings and a black shirt with a red S inside a red diamond shape on a yellow background (the superman shield). They are holding out both arms with fists pointing down and have two beautiful tattooed vines wrapping around their arms from inner wrist wrapping all the way around once to just past the outer elbow. Some leaves are outlines and some are shaded in dots.

A still from Twilight of Jasper, a pale young man with chin length wavy blonde hair. The irises of his eyes are yellow. He is wearing a black hoodie with the hood down around his neck. He's half smiling but looks annoyed.

The 'Shocked pikachu' image. Pikachu, a yellow quadrapedal animal with two long antenna-like ears with black tips, beady black eyes, a dot nose and red rosy circles on his chubby cheeks, has a mouth wide open in shock. There is a poorly drawn blue arrow indicating his nose

A self portrait taken in a mirror. I am standing in semi-darkness holding a camera which is mounted to a gorillapod twisted around my wrist. I'm wearing a tank top and have short blonde hair. I'm staring down the lens. I look extremely fucking creepy. Behind me is a rainbow wall of nail polish, the colours popping in the half-light.

A close view of the tattoo on my right ankle. A teal, blue and purple galaxy cloud with white stars, and in the middle is the Star Trek Delta in black outline, above a black outline Triforce (from Legend of Zelda)

A smiling non binary person trying a piece of the food described in the last post. They are holding a small amount of a crumbly brown substance up to their mouth between their thumb and forefinger. They have grey eyes and their hair is half blue, half purple.

A maroon tin which is open, the lid is at the top of the image and has some writing I can't identify in a small yellow box at the top (the package says its made in Iran so that's probably what the writing is) and there's a photograph of some sort of cracked brown sweet substance in a large flat metal dish with what I think are smashed pistachios and chopped almonds on top. There's a glass cup with a black handle containing what might be tea next to the pan, and a bowl of pistachios in shells at the bottom. The open tin base and contents are at the bottom of the image and look exactly like the picture of the cracked brown sweet substance, which is wild to me because usually photographs of food contents are not this accurate

A maroon tin, with some writing I can't identify in a small yellow box at the top (the package says its made in Iran so that's probably what the writing is) and there's a photograph of some sort of cracked brown sweet substance in a large flat metal dish with what I think are smashed pistachios and chopped almonds on top. There's a glass cup with a black handle containing what might be tea next to the pan, and a bowl of pistachios in shells at the bottom.

A close up of a hand with short, dirty fingernails, the image is cropped to show part of the middle finger, the index finger and thumb wirh a bee perched on the tip of the thumb, one leg resting on the index finger. The image is watermarked F(O)CUSED and an additional image tag reads "F(O)CUSED COLLECTION ID 228965558 FOCUSEDCOLLECTION.COM"

An image of a blue sky, white cloud along the bottom and a map of the USA. Text reads:
This week, Texas stopped issuing name ans gender changes on state IDs and drivers licences.

Joining Kansas, Tennessee, and Florida.

If you show up with a court order, they will send your information to this address for the purposes of putting you on "a list"

DLCourtorders@dps.texas.gov

It would be a shame if this email was used for nefarious purposes and spammed until it became unusable.

@justflintisfine

A listing featuring a picture of two lush, full fake hanging plants, and underneath the name and description:

RECUTMS
Artificial Hanging Plants 4pcs 33-in Fake Plant Fa...

It does not say 'RECTUMS' but I certainly misread it as such

A non binary person with short blonde hair short at the sides and brushed sideways on the top into a swoop. They have grey eyes with dark circles and their mouth is tweaking up at one corner. One hand is on top of their head showing off a tattoo of stargate glyphs down their bicep. They are wearing a black tank top. The background is dimly lit

A forlorn looking chicken, pictured head and shoulders. It's cinnamon coloured with a red crest and, uh, big round red chin flaps? Idk what they're called. There's a blurry chicken in the background.

A black and yellow DeWalt brushless impact drill driver, an electric drill standing on a chunky battery base. It is freestanding on a white desk against a turquoise wall, behind it is a set of DeWalt drill bits in a black and yellow case.

Toad in the hole. Four slightly curved sausages embedded in a puffy yorkshire pudding cooked batter, in a white rectangular baking dish

The 'Sunny Afternoons' compilation album cover. A person wearing a red sun hat, long baggy trousers and sandals reads a book while sitting with one leg dangling out of a net hammock strung between two trees in the long grass. Leaning against one tree is an old fashioned bicycle with an empty basket space at the front, red at the front and fading into yellow in the body.