Jade Van Kley

@backlinenurse.bsky.social

3659 Followers 316 Following

Accidentally started learning about baseball and now I don’t know what else to do with myself. Yes I know about Rube Waddell. No I still haven’t seen the Ken Burns doc. @BacklineNurse on all the things. Nashville.

The Cubs mascot Clark walking around shooting people with a squirt gun on the field at Wrigley. I think he is a person in a bear costume and not an actual bear but I haven’t checked. He wears a big blue baseball cap and bitchin’ sunglasses.
Me reading a newspaper clipping on the screen from the Philadelphia Item, 1889. Text: [Indianapolis vs. Philadelphia 9/14/1889] Fogarty's cut across the diamond was phenomenal in its cheekiness. Not satisfied with that effort, while Glasscock was kicking to Knight he cooly walked home as though to join in the argument, tagged home and claimed a run. I’m on a green screen of the Baker Bowl Diamond trying to act it out but doing a very poor job honestly.
Me talking in front of my TV with the Cubs-Padres game on the screen. The final score is displayed at the end: Cubs won 23-3.
I’m talking to the camera with photos of the ivy on the back wall of Wrigley Field in Chicago
Me talking to the camera with a screenshot of the final score of today’s Cubs game: Cubs beat the Padres 23 to 3
It’s just me talking to the camera with clips of Yankees pitcher Cam Schlittler answering a question from the Yankees social media team.
This is a screenshot of a digitized version of a newspaper. Title: smoking while at bat Date: Tuesday, May 8, 1860 Text: “Holder, who was indulging in the pleasure of the weed, while at the bat, struck out.” Source: New York Sunday Mercury
This is a public service announcement poster with a disembodied green hand lifting the page of a calendar to reveal a black and white photo of a crowd underneath. Text: “SYPHILIS: A million new victims each year”
A screenshot of my Instagram reels grid.
Screenshot of a captcha screen asking “Are you a robot?”
Text on a black screen: I worked inpatient psych for years both before and after becoming a nurse. I've been hit, bit, kicked, TACKLED (back pain for life thx), spit on, put in a choke hold, and had furniture thrown at me. l've had to manually restrain patients more times than I can count. How many times have l even come close to hurting someone who was actively trying to hurt me? Fucking zero. Aside from being murderous lunatics, these ghouls are also such cowards it's honestly embarrassing.
Me talking direct to camera.
Me talking to the camera
Me talking direct to camera.
Me talking directly to camera on a greenscreen with newspaper clippings from the 1860s
Me talking in front of a green screen with screenshots of Rube Waddell’s Wikipedia page.
My white cat (Luna) and black cat (Shelley) swatting at each other on a cat tree. The white cat looks like she’s boxing and it’s adorable. (Don’t worry no one was harmed).
My white cat looking at the camera as it zooms in on her face. Text: My cat has resting “I’ve just learned my husband died at sea” face
A photo of my white cat looking at the camera looking somewhat pleased, when she usually looks devastated.
A photo of my Apple Watch on my wrist telling me that I’ve reached my activity goal while I’m actively lying on the couch under a blanket with my cat in the background.
A FaceTime screenshot of my face in the top right with the screen showing a television with the YouTube search page and my dad typing in “Cardi B trial day 1”
Screenshots of replies to this post which have since been deleted: Jade Van Kley @backlinenurse.bsky.social It's so cute when my apple watch tells me I've reached my activity goal for the day while l'm actively lying in bed. Like hey guys it seems like she tried her best we should just let her have this one. autisticforacure @thewhalenebulae.bsky.social Follow Openly admitting to supporting fascism on blue sky. Bold move. Jade Van Kley @backlinenurse.bsky.social excuse me what
Screenshot of the response to the tweet which has since been deleted. autisticforacure @thewhalenebulae.bsky.social Supporting Apple is supporting fascism... October 9, 2025 at 12:17 PM Jade Van Kley @backlinenurse.bsky.social oh ok
Instagram ad for getshapely with a person pulling a bra out of their shirt. “When the bra that takes you from saggy to lifted is almost too affordable rn so it's almost sold out”
Me smiling at the camera like an idiot while my cat gives herself the most thorough bath of all time right behind me
My white cat on my lap looking up at me. She is scrunched up in a way that makes her look like a baby.
My white cat on my shoulder while I’m laying down on the couch.
A video originally by @coyoteskygarnick on Instagram with the caption “That goat won this argument, hands down 😭🐐” The video shows him sitting in front of a young goat who is yelling in his ear.
A white cat looking down from above, sitting on the arm of a couch.
A still from Ariel (1988). It shows a man leaning back in a car with the caption “Bury my heart at the dump.”
A black tortoiseshell/tuxedo cat with big white feet, curled up on a yellow blanket covering her face with her paws
Tweet from Will Sennett @Senn_Spud at 10:22 PM on 8/8/22: Bobby Oppenheimer get your country ass over here my momma says you been in the city Inventing a bomb as big as a damn bus
An Uber Eats customer service chat where I request to cancel my order 4 times while the chat or keeps asking what I need help with.
A bottle with a “Lift ‘n’ Peel” seal on top.
A pile of lip balms, markers, and cat toys that had been fished out from under the oven. A white cat (innocent) and a black tortie cat (guilty).
Tortoiseshell cat with big white feet being cradled like a baby
A calico cat and a tortoiseshell cat on FaceTime with each other.
Hinge dating app screenshot A random fact I love is: Sea otters hold hands while they sleep so they don't drift apart in the water — it's called a "raft."
A tweet I did on February 8, 2017. Original tweet: roses are red violets are blue this long ass winter makes me want to die Reply (by me): sorry this doesn't rhyme but i did that on purpose to leave you sexually frustrated
A white cat sitting on a counter while chirping and getting pets, a black tortoiseshell cat is on a chair in the background glaring at the camera.
A white cat sitting inside a cardboard box with a forlorn expression
The back half of a cat with white feet sticking out from behind a blanket
My cat Shelley laying on me while purring with her tongue sticking out
Screenshot of a tweet from me with a picture from a South Dakota anti-drug campaign. Screenshot text: Jade Van Kley @BacklineNurse i'm so glad South Dakota used my 2018 tax dollars to tell the country i'm on meth. love it actually METH. WE'RE ON IT. 5:06 PM 11/18/19
A conversation between me and the UberEats chatbot. The chatbot asks me how they can help me today four times, and I respond “cancel my order” four times. (Epilogue: this back-and-forth continued for five more rounds until I gave up).
A video of a woman answering some unknown question, then cut to a picture of Louis Armstrong pasted onto a picture of the moon.
My cat sitting in front of my TV staring at Mike in a scene
Tortoiseshell cat sitting on a countertop with her legs stretched out behind her
Tortoiseshell cat laying on a blanket looking very horrified
My white cat with text on her labeled “CONCERNED.” She’s looking down at my tortoiseshell cat laying on her belly with her legs splayed out behind her, and a label that says “LONG”
A photo of me standing with Colin Mochrie on a random street in Canada.
A video of me sitting in front of a TV playing a Rush concert in the background.
A video with text: “I swear this is the last time I let a hinge date drive me home” A two people in the car from the POV of the passenger. The driver is air-drumming on the steering wheel and a cymbal mounted on the vent.
A black tortoiseshell cat on a bed, lying on top of a red rug with white hearts on it and snuggled up to a stuffed dog.