Bailey G. Albreit

@baileygalbreit.bsky.social

2342 Followers 1242 Following

Author of the Rest in Grift series (Buffy+Six Feet Under+The Grifters). #cozyparanormal & specfic. Hope to connect with other #writers #authors, the #writingcommunity. She/her đŸȘđŸ“š No AI, no DMs. I don't give $$$ to random folks. baileygalbreit.com

Furious that Chris Nolan would disregard historical accuracy in adapting The Odyssey by making a "movie" with "cameras" instead of memorizing the entire story and then going on a nationwide tour to sing it to us while tripping on ergotized barley. --Jack Grimes (@jackapedia.design)
Cover of Tex by S.E. Hinton (bestselling author of The Outsiders), showing a black and white photo of a person sitting on a motorcycle.
Book cover for Big Fish by Daniel Wallace ("a novel of mythic proportions"), showing a pale man in black trousers, a white shirt, and a black vest riding a very large fish in a lake with foliage visible on the far shore. The man is raising his hat in the air with his left hand and holding onto the fish with his right.
Writer: *Sits down at computer to write* Brain: Nah. I'm tired Writer: *Goes to bed* Brain: Here's an outline of the next five sequels to your story --Alexander Pennington (@Authoralexp)
IMAGE: Outside a house with an upstairs window showing a woman sitting at a desk with a computer are 1) a man on a ladder holding a chainsaw he will use to cut a limb off a tree; 2) a trio of bagpipers wearing kilts and tall furry hats; and 3) a young man in shorts and noise-canceling headphones holding a leaf blower. CAPTION: "O.K., she's sitting down to write in three...two...one..." Credit: Cartoon by Meredith Southard, May 31, 2024
Panel 1: Drawing of a black cat, with the words, "For a long time, black cats were said to be evil and working with the Devil. Panel 2: Human with dark hair and a striped shirt admiring the black cat from the first panel, with the words, "But now we know that's not true." Panel 3: Human from Panel 2 cuddling the black cat. Panel 4: Human slightly out of focus in lower right foreground while an orange cat in the background raises its paws triumphantly, backed by a wall of fire. Caption: "It's the orange cats."
Book cover for The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to embrace the paradoxes of quantum mechanics and he'll give himself the same fish over and over again in an eternal loop of temporal torment. --Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker)
Stranger texting: Hey, I may visit your city in Sept, you'll have to show me some good places if you're free Response: I mean, there's only one. But sure. I appreciate your coming to see how we live. Do you have a sleeping bag? I can give you advice on appropriate ones. Wrong one and you can lose your toes or parts of your face. Wolves ate the nose and lips off of a National Geographic guy here last year while he was asleep. He woke up during, I'm sure. But you need a fast open bag and you need Kevlar weave and you need two gun ports.
Going into the bookstore looking for one book and walking out with 18. Image: Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson saying, "I regret nothing."
No one is more uniquely qualified to take on these weird times than novelists, whose unedited manuscripts often claim that it is both Monday and Thursday and one day ago it was Tuesday and two days have passed in a span of time in which the protagonist has gone to bed five times. --Lauren Abramo (@LaurenAbramo)
Stop telling people they "don't have a real job" if they don't work a 9 to 5. Being a freelance writer is a real job. Solving murders in the English countryside is a real job. Lying in a pond waiting to hand Excalibur to the rightful king is a real job. Your work matters. --Icona (@iconawrites)
Chapter Seven Rainbowed A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others. L. Frank Baum, The Wizard of Oz # A gasp escaped me and a general murmur sprang up in the sanctuary. What idiot told Mum that Joseph Scott was a gay porn star? Then I remembered: it was me. I was the idiot who did that.
Book cover for The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Some writers will try to say "why do you use f-f-foul language when there's so much more extravagant/fanciful/majestic words!" Beyond being just a shallow ploy, yr job as a writer isn't to use the biggest word, it's to use the right words. And sometimes the right word is ass. --Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears)
How To Be a Writer: Turn on TV Conclude that the world is going to crap Turn on laptop Create a better world Go there, and take all your friends Tea --Joanne Harris (@Joannechocolat)
"How did people write essays before ChatGPT?" You all are young, but there was this thing called doing research, staring at a blank Word document, thinking, writing, rewriting, suffering, and persevering.
I am opposing a social order in which it is possible for one man who does absolutely nothing that is useful to amass a fortune of hundreds of millions of dollars, while millions of men and women who work all the days of their lives secure barely enough for a wretched existence. --Eugene V. Debs
The wildest part about poverty is how much time it steals. Waiting for buses. Calling assistance offices. Comparing grocery prices. Fighting insurance. Sitting at laundromats. Being poor is a second job nobody pays you for. --threads.com/@taylormetzner
Book cover for The Accidental Tourist, a novel by Anne Tyler, showing a painting of a teal armchair with large white wings attached behind the arms, sitting on a patterned rug in a room with beige and orange flowered wallpaper.
Cook cover for Contact, a novel by Carl Sagan
Book cover for the Flambards trilogy by KM Peyton
Book cover for The Three-Body Problem (winner of the Hugo Award) by New York Times Bestselling Author Cixin Liu, translated by Ken Liu
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up after their kids.
I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo Seems like a very low amount of rodeos
Grief is a form of patriotism, too. This 4th of July, many of us won't be waving flags or watching fireworks. Not because we hate our country, but because we love it too much to pretend everything is fine. --Benjamin Cremer
Book cover for Watership Down by Richard Adams
Cover of UNDERTAKEN by Bailey G. Albreit, Book I in the Rest in Grift series. Blurb: What if you moved to a sleepy coal-mining town with a weirdly-high per capita death rate to open your own funeral home, only to find that, to do your job, you have to fight—VAMPIRES? Haunted by his best friend’s ghost, a gay teen framed for arson by a vampire pimp is informally adopted by con-artists and becomes Herman Smith, grifter. Fourteen years later, Herman and his brother John are hiding their grifting past from their partner, Robin Peters, who left medicine after accidentally killing a patient. When Herman and John’s former grifting partner shows up Undead on their doorstep, can they learn who left him like a ticking bomb, defy incompetent vampire hunters, contend with a rival mortuary trying to shut them down, and plan a funeral for their worst enemy in six days without anyone realizing that THEY killed him? Thus begins the Rest in Grift series, as two former grifters and an erstwhile aspiring doctor navigate a vampire- and ghost-ridden town rife with murky deaths, dark whispers, and secret societies—though the most explosive secrets may be those they’re keeping from each other.
"What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance." --Jane Austen, letter to Cassandra Austen, 18th September 1796 Same, Jane, Absolutely same. --nickydenovan
Growing up hearing "Wikipedia isn't a valid source" and then entering a workplace where people say "just ask ChatGPT" is a surprisingly strange timeline
I'm writing Spider Ma'am, about a middle aged woman who gets bitten by a radioactive spider but keeps it to herself because she doesn't freaking need this. --Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux)
Before scheduling a Zoom meeting, ask yourself: -Could this Zoom meeting be an email? -Could this email be a text? -Is that text necessray? -Does my armoire lead to Narnia? -Might I need to bring a coat if I enter a new dimension? -Should I have eaten that mushroom? --Meanwhile in Canada (@MeanwhileinCana)
Book cover for About a Boy by Nick Hornby, showing black and white drawings of fences made of brick pillars with wrought iron bars between the pillars. The silhouette of a man is near a fence at the top of the page and the silhouette of a boy on a bike is farther down. Review quote: "Delightful, observant, funny and good-hearted." - Mail on Sunday
Book cover for GROUNDHOGGED by Bailey G. Albreit Blurb: Ex-grifters John and Herman Smith and former doctor Robin Peters finally have real business at the Peters Funeral Home but they're quickly swamped as citizens of their vampire-infested town begin dropping like flies who've lost all their blood. A Pittsburgh news show inexplicably relocates to the public access studio, a friend develops a French accent despite not speaking French, and Robin dates a man whose "late" wife is probably Undead. When the town Groundhog Festival attracts a horde of new potential vampire victims, can John, Herman, and Robin prevent the bodycount from skyrocketing, even though it would be good for business? The Rest in Grift series continues with Groundhogged, as John, Herman, and Robin tackle incompetent vampire hunters, a tourist invasion, and a Lodge that worships an overgrown weather-predicting rodent—or would, if they could find him.
"You do that constantly. How many public re- strooms have we searched for your phone?"
Book cover for The Children of Men by P.D. James
Book cover for Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury showing a man in a tight fireproof suit (kind of like a skindiving suit) and a helmet carrying a large blowtorch styled like a firearm while surrounded by burning books.