Paul Bauer

@bauer.codes

184 Followers 238 Following

https://bauer.codes Staff Software Engineer @datadoghq Made significant contributions to the Datadog timeseries database, now working on the continuous profiler product. #databases, #lisp, #clojure, #freebsd, #pkm

Slack screenshot Paul [6:02 PM EDT]: I usually just threaten to drive to N Va and unplug it. ... Paul [9:08 PM EDT]: sometimes one has to deliver on the threat or the robots don't take it seriously [attached screenshot of AWS status on the N. Virginia us-east-1 outage caused by a power cut, 5:53 PM PDT]
still frame from CultRepo Clojure documentary showing Rich Hickey writing on a Boox Go 10.3 tablet, back view
screen shot of tech blog with a speech bubble pop up: "We have a new AI OKR Coach! Do you want to try it?"
screen shot of the language break-down for a github project - Clojure - 94.4% - Dockerfile - 3.0% - Makefile 2.6%
Pawn stars meme Seller: Please merge 'my' Claude PR that I did not read or understand. Rick Harrison: Best I can do is call you a "thought leader"
Condescending Wonka Meme: Tell me again how "the bitter lesson" applies to product development.
Paparazzi photo of Sundar Pichai and Tim Cook drinking together at a table.
Mark Zuckerberg, Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos, Sundar Pichai, Elon Musk at Trump's Jan 20, 2025 inauguration.
Tweet from Sam Altman: David Sacks really understands Al and cares about the US leading in innovation. I am grateful we have him.
my youngest guessing logos on a sticker-strewn laptop lid
2025-10-21 Dinesh D'Sourza responds on twitter to a racist attack saying "In a career spanning 40 years, I have never encountered this type of rhetoric. The Right never used to talk like this. So who on our side has legitimized this type of vile degradation? It’s a question worth thinking about."
Laptop with stickers (left to right, top to bottom) - emacs - clojure - datadog profiler - IntelliJ - bash - datadoge: how alert. such monitoring - papers we love 2023 - tmux - bsd beastie - "This machine kills fascists" (woodie guthrie)
T-shirt: "Local antifa chapter president" (In small print) "definitely a real organization"
screen grab of cancelled disney+ subscription
1Password inexplicably "partnering" with perplexity because this move totally makes sense for their brand
Higgins boat, Normandy, June 6, 1944
National guard troops patrolling the streets of DC, banner with Trump's face and an American flag prominently displayed on building in background.
A graph of Master's Degrees in Education and GMO corn grown in Ohio overlaid to make them appear correlated. - time on the x axis 2012-2021 - a left y axis of "degrees awarded" 145.6K-179K - a right y axis of "GMO Corn %" 2%-13% The two lines are spuriously correlated.
Edited screen shot of the semi-famous "bitcoin explained" meme from a twitter conversation between Asia Murph and yolo contendere. AM: I still don't get bitcoin. ('bitcoin' crossed out, replaced with 'AI') YC: imagine if keeping your car idling 24/7 produced solved Sudokus you could trade for heroin. ('solved Sudokus' and 'heroin' crossed out and replaced with '"art"' and 'Saudi money' respectively)
Victoria and David Beckham "Be Honest" Meme V: We are an AI company now. B: Be honest. V: We invest in AI because customers are asking for it. B: Be honest. V: Saying "AI" makes chart go up. B: Thank you.
sign with Olive Garden motif: "Welcome to the Oli-Garchy ... unlimited dipsticks"
Aliens guy meme: "Vibe-ops"
T-shirt of American flag with words embedded in stripes: "EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY THEORY WHEN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYTHING WORKS"
Karoline Leavitt, mouth of Sauron, white house press room
Satire app prompt: "Sorry, Bazel is available right now. A law banning Bazel has not been enacted in the U.S. Unfortunately, that means you can use Bazel for now.