Michael Baumann

@baumann.bsky.social

13257 Followers 323 Following

FanGraphs Writer, Piney, Gamecock, Condiment Enthusiast, Connoisseur of Vehicles Subscribe to Wheelysports.kit.com (or medium.com/@wheelysports) @michaelbaumann on Twitter baumannwrites at gmail dot com

YouTube comment reading: "Paul Simon couldn't come up with a catchy chorus to save his life"
Describe your favorite movie as boring as possible
Neymar, Messi, Suarez and Iniesta getting in a ref's face
Admiral Sir Sandy Woodward, commander of the Royal Navy task force during the Falklands War, leaning back in his office chair and smirking like a guy who fucks
an all blue electoral map
Michael Shanks as Dr. Daniel Jackson in Stargate SG-1
Daniel von Bargen as Commandant Spangler in Malcolm in the Middle. Guy in a blue military uniform with an eye patch
Extremely zoomed in picture of a guy in a Jerad Eickhoff jersey
The MLB Draft stage at the Philadelphia convention center, a wondrous collision of arches and colored lights
Pedro Sánchez seated in a chair, legs crossed, soulful brown eyes staring directly into the camera. He looks like either an Iberian Jay Wright or a Ricky Martin who became a vice-provost
Harold Hardrada with a speech bubble
The Death Star guys with big black helmets
From left to right: C. Thomas Howell as Tom Chamberlain, Jeff Daniels as Col. Chamberlain, Donal Logue as Capt. Ellis Spear
Outside of the Cincinnati Union Terminal
A cardboard sign placed over a parking bollard, featuring Paul Skenes holding up a hot dog over his mouth. The sign reads: THE BIG GLIZZY
Declan Rice throws a baseball to Ebereche Eze, who swings and misses and flings the bat out of frame
Amanda Bynes' parents in She's the Man
Archer, Lana and Patrick McCaren in "The Archer Sanction"
Snake Walker from The Muppet Movie, a white man in dark sunglasses and a back balaclava, back wide-brimmed hat with snakeskin band, carrying a speargun and a bandoleer of spare tridents
Big gray and white cat lounging lasciviously across a computer desk
With your size, you're left-handed, having a low arm slot, from that closed foot position, it looks like either Adrian Morejon or Billy Wagner. Is that a deliberate inspiration? With where you're from, you must have.. I don't know, shit, you might be too young to have seen Billy Wagner live.
Ben Rowen
The facade of Chase Field
Marvin the Paranoid Android
Uruguay 2(1.93 xG)-Cape Verde 2(0.65 xG)
Cover of "Room on Fire" by The Strokes
Logan and Tom from Succession
Bruce Willis and his girlfriend getting on a chopper, not a motorcycle, a chopper, in Pulp Fiction. The subtitle: Djed Spence, baby. Djed Spence.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — June 17, 2026 MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL NAMES SHIMON HOIZUMI MANAGING DIRECTOR OF JAPAN
General Richard Montgomery, leader of the failed 1775 Continental expedition to conquer Quebec
Phillies Position Players With at Least 50 PA in 2026 Player G PA AVG OBP SLG Brandon Marsh 66 253 .322 .356 .492 Bryce Harper 71 294 .256 .364 .496 Kyle Schwarber 68 306 .247 .363 .568 Bryson Stott 65 244 .232 .285 .388 Justin Crawford 65 211 .231 .289 .328 Edmundo Sosa 39 112 .221 .259 .375 Trea Turner 70 309 .219 .269 .330 Alec Bohm 67 270 .219 .274 .352 J.T. Realmuto 48 177 .210 .294 .312 Adolis García 67 259 .195 .270 .329 Rafael Marchan 24 74 .094 .103 .141
Robin Lefler (yes that's a young Ashley Judd) and Wesley Crusher playing the Ktarian Game
A Lego tram car
Still from Futurama's "Amazon Women in the Mood" depicting Fry and Zapp Brannigan suffering from death by snusnu
Deron Williams, Paul Pierce, Luka Doncic, LeBron James, Chris Webber
Butch Thompson with wire rim glasses and a short salt and pepper beard
A big ol mess of cheese curds
A small group of cyclists riding up an Italian hill, as a person with a giant, well-defined ass runs alongside in a Spiderman outfit
Randy Vasquez holding a bunch of bananas
A line graph showing BAC vs. inning in a 9-9-9 challenge based on what type of beer you're drinking. Mini Coors Light you wouldn't feel at all, but a Voodoo Ranger Imperial Tallboy would Actually Kill A Man
Cooperative baptist fellowship
"The gang finally kills at eats neelix"
"Come On! Feel the Illinoise! PArt I: The World's Columbian Exposition" over a DS9 title card
Five longhorn steer grazing in a pasture. In the background is Space Center Houston, including a full-scale space shuttle mockup stop a 747 transporter
Krieger, Pam, Cheryl, Woodhouse and Archer playing Midnight Blues
Me: I'm going to actually kill myself Gonz: Their inability to score goals seems like a problem Me: Never doubted for a second Where should I get my MEAT WALL tattoo Nope gonna kill myself Gonz: Motherfucker
Colin Firth as Paul in Fever Pitch
Andoni Iraola
Point Break Music Festival, June 20-21, Virginia Bech Saturday Headliners Sublime and Slightly Stoopid Sunday headliners: Rebelution and Dirty Heads
Wayne and McMurray from Letterkenny standing arms crossed in a car dealership. Marie-Fred (quelle méchant) is in profile in the foreground
Scott Tracy and some guy with glasses from Thunderbirds
Elmo wearing Phillies gear
LGM-35 ballistic missile wall art