First2Go

@bbenston.bsky.social

78 Followers 130 Following

Bitter, angry drunk living in the Boston burbs. Former software engineer, now HS ELA/Social Studies teacher. Extreme boardgaming nerd. "Woke pornographer". Play a mean classical piano - looking for collabs!

Dick-drawing Batman rejects all societal conventions
Wolf straining with effort to eat sheep RIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER SHEEP
Chinatown (1974)
Blade Runner (1982)
Trump neck vag
A very passive-aggressive note, obviously in a college dorm, beginning with "TO THE INDIVIDUAL OBSESSED WITH DRAWING PENISES". Someone has defaced it with the only graffiti that makes sense: a penis over the whole thing in red pen.
The Chems' Dig Your Own Hole
Beck's Odelay
Mick Jagger, Marianne Faithfull, Alain Delon. Mick getting schooled by a suave Frenchman.
Daffy Duck, reacting against the injustices of the entire world, as only a sane duck can
I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House poster
Jelly being a complete lovebug.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, by Hunter S. Thompson
PUPPET SHOW AND SPINAL TAP
Sadie, begging for food mid-hug, probably
The Terror, by Dan Simmons
Sadie and Noodle playing in our neighbors' yard
Patriot Pat, who is deeply frightening no matter what context
The Always Sunny crew being classy as usual: "Frank fed us human meat, and we got the hunger."
The town common, somewhere in suburban Massachusetts. The gods, usually completely absent, are smiling on a massive gathering of teenagers and parents for Prom 2026 in the form of a massive blue evening sky.
It's Always Sunny crew debating the finer points of living under bridges: "Uh, made a decent penny in boiled denims..."
"Cheap shit - Presidency, your way" as BK logo
The Tiger Queen (Sadie) in repose
Orange cardamom upside-down cake, with steam fresh from oven
Alex Karp, looking for all the world like he's begging for an entry in the Meme Hall of Fame
Mozart, a guy brilliant enough to write fart jokes into music that people would be required to sing
Gordon Robertson, ghoulson of OG ghoul Pat Robertson, televangelizing "Jesus, I see what you've done for other people, and I want that for me." I did way more internet sleuthing than sane, well-adjusted people do to come up with that name. You're welcome. I guess.
Jim Jones having a very nice picnic.
Trump makes Coily significantly more frightening and yet more pathetic at the same time, if that's even possible
Groucho insulting a 1930s-era heavy: "Can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?"
"Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?", from the Onion, because this is where these people LITERALLY are
Some dummy looking intensely at the camera doing a poor Spock eyebrow
Picture of a brown stained couch out on a sidewalk foregrounded by a recycling bin and a trash bin. The couch has a very suspicious stain right in the middle, where JD spilled his little JDs.