beetle moses

@beetlemoses.bsky.social

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PREORDER MY DEBUT BOOK OF COMICS: https://publishing.andrewsmcmeel.com/book/beetle-moses-a-comics-menagerie/ Signed comic prints: beetlemoses.bigcartel.com

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two waiters stand in front of an empty lobster tank. The first waiter says, “I think the lobster got out.” The second waiter exclaims, “WHAT!?” Panel 2: the second waiter, lowering his hands from his face in dawning realization, says, “uh oh…” Panel 3: the lobster is seated at the piano under spotlight, in front of several restaurant goers who seem enraptured by the lobster’s playing. The two waiters can only watch.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two guys are chatting and walking. One of them is in the middle of a sentence: “here’s the thing… it was good, but—“ Panel 2: the guy suddenly walks into and entangles himself in a bunch of silvery-grey ropes hanging loosely from the ceiling. He yells out “AGH!” And drops his beer. The other guy leans slightly out of the way to avoid the ropes. Panel 3: a human-size spider is standing just ahead of them, holding a drink and chatting with a girl. The spider turns halfway around to the first guy, who is tangled up in the ropes and hanging off the ground. The spider, mildly annoyed, says, “dude… that’s like, my house.” The first guy responds, “here!?”

Me and my first book of comics. It looks very good if I do say so myself

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two coworkers stand by a desk, drinking coffee. A third coworker, who happens to be a squid, walks past them holding a large stack of thick binders. One of the human coworkers remarks mockingly, “hey Eric. Need an extra hand with that?” Panel 2: the human coworkers start laughing, but are cut off by an on-screen narrator who enters the frame. The narrator says, “Stop.”Panel 3: the narrator is now standing in front of a closeup shot of Eric the squid at his desk looking distraught. The narrator continues, “squid discrimination in the workplace. Know the signs.”

SOLD OUT! Thank you

Bumper sticker that reads: KEEP HONKING! I’M BUSY LISTENING TO… BIG BINKY AND THE BANANA BOYS

Page 2: a girl standing in the doorway of the venue says to the emu, “you coming in? The show’s about to start!” The emu, a bit surprised, responds, “oh. Uhh…” Cut to the interior of the venue and the emu is standing in a crowd of people watching a band perform. He seems to be enjoying himself.

Comic page 1: a group of young emo people are hanging out in a venue with a banner that reads EMO NIGHT. Outside the venue, an emu is on the phone. He says, “yeah, could you pick me up? I think I misread the flyer.” Suddenly, behind the emu someone exclaims, “hey!”

Transmission from the Orangutalien: Greetings. Beetle Moses will be at Webcomicon (Metro Detroit, Michigan), August 1-2 weekend. Lots of cool artists such as Sarah Andersen, Shen Comix, Dave McElfatrick, Mr. Lovenstein, Extrafabulous, Perry Bible Fellowship, Julia Kaye, Asher Perlman, the Red Dot, and too many more to list! See you there.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: three friends sit around a table. The guy in the middle looks downtrodden and his friends are trying to comfort him. The friend to the left says, “look man— I know you’re sad about the breakup.” Panel 2: “So I invited the Bongo Dolphin.” Entering stage right is a dolphin standing upright, wearing a straw hat, sunglasses, a Cuba Vera patterned shirt, and is playing the bongos. Panel 3: the sad friend is coyly looking away trying to hide a smile. His two friends and the Bongo Dolphin are smiling with him. The friend on the left says, “I see a smile…”

Three panel comic. Panel 1: the white house is giving a press conference. A woman on stage proudly says, “folks— the Flatwoods Monster is real.” She gestures to the Flatwoods Monster on stage next to her. He’s chopped. Panel 2: the room full of seated journalists looks unimpressed. One of the journalists says, “no one cares about that.” Panel 3: the Flatwoods Monster hobbles off stage towards the exit. The white house staff member says, “oh great— you scared him off!”

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two ants. Ant 1 asks, “sup?” Ant 2, who is busy writing something at his desk, replies, “sending a party invite.” Panel 2: Ant 1 asks, “isn’t your birthday in like 2 months?” Panel 3: two months later, Ant 2 opens the door for his snail friend, who is wearing a trilby hat and has brought a bottle of wine with a bow on it. Ant 2 says, “you made it”

Cave painting of the aliens throwing themselves over the cliff edge. One alien hides behind a rock to avoid participation in the doomed ritual.
For behind the scenes and to help support the comic, please check out Patreon.com/beetlemoses

Page 7. “We see you now, O Sun! Let us meet… in oblivion!” The aliens are ritualistically dancing around a green bonfire, and subsequently throwing themselves off a cliff. The activity is suddenly interrupted by the face of a human girl creeping into frame at the bottom of the page. She looks frustrated, and says, “ugh.”

Page 3. “We traveled a long time. Finally, we found it.” The aliens stare walk along a truly bizarre landscape, bathed in shades of orange. They are accompanied by unusual animals as travel companions which resemble floating balloon heads of deep sea creatures from earth. They eventually come upon a crashed moped bicycle and charred human remains, lit up in green flame.

Page 1 of comic. A village of alien denizens on a planet with a massive black hole in place of a sun. Narrative text reads: We were a peaceful folk. Every day, we’d rise and sing to our sun. Until one day…

A mysterious panel from my project which you will have to wait until tomorrow to read (UNLESS YOU CHECK MY PATREON 🫣)

Two panel comic. Panel 1: an anglerfish is washed up on the ocean shore, laying in the tide. It thinks to itself, “it’s so beautiful.” Panel 2: wide shot of the beach, rocky cliffs, and sky at sunset, with the anglerfish still laying in place. The anglerfish continues thinking to itself, “I might have never known.”

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a hamster is climbing through a connected network of colorful plastic tubes. Panel 2: the hamster is walking through a room connected to the tubes. The hamster passes a second hamster who is wearing a tube top, mini skirt and sunglasses, and is holding a clutch purse and a cigarette. The mini skirt hamster says to the first hamster, “lookin’ for a good time?” The first hamster thinks to itself, “I hate this part of town…”

7 signs ur spiritually connected with someone

Two panel comic. Panel 1: there’s a rap battle going on, with a small crowd of onlookers enjoying the show. The guy on the microphone raps, “this fool brought an ancient staff. You got no swag; it makes me laugh!” Panel 2: the rapper holding the other microphone is an evil sorcerer with sunken eyes and a long purple robe. In his other hand, he grasps an ancient magic staff, which instantly shoots a bolt of powerful energy at the first rapper, reducing him to ash. The crowd of people watching the battle react excitedly, in awe of the evil sorcerer’s skills.

Video of me flipping through my 12th completed sketchbook where I draw all my comics

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a couple stands in their backyard, speaking directly to the “camera” in an interview. The woman says, “we called the Dog Whisperer because our dog will not stop crip-walking.” Panel 2: the couple is sitting across from Cesar Milan in their living room. Their little white dog is crip-walking. Panel 2: the dog continues crip-walking, really hittin that. Cesar Milan looks up at the couple and says, “honestly, I don’t know what to tell you”

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two friends sit across from each other at a restaurant table. One has his head in his hands, looking stressed out. He says, “oh no…” to which his friend replies, “what?” Panel 2: the first guy, clutching the middle of his brow, says, “every time I have a cute waitress, I turn into an armadillo.” The waitress approaches from around a corner. His friend, who looks only minority concerned, replies, “just chill out, man.” Panel 3: the waitress arrives at the table and sets some menus out. She begins to say, “hi, welcome to—“ but is interrupted by the first guy, who is now a small armadillo. He blurts out, “I’ll have a water.”

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a monkey behind the wheel of a car is eating a banana. His foot is on the steering wheel. The monkey asks, “so, can you drive this thing?” Panel 2: another monkey sitting in the passenger seat is wearing wraparound pit viper sunglasses and also stuffing his face with a banana. He replies, “can I what” Panel 3: the banana truck they’ve hijacked goes flying over the edge of a cliff.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a man is walking down a wooded riverbank when he passes a mysterious person in a hooded tunic. The mysterious person is holding a lute-like string instrument and is sitting on a tree stump in front of the instrument’s open case in the ground, like a street busker. The mysterious busker calls to the passerby, “traveler… let me play you a song from another time…” Panel 2: in a psychedelic display, the busker reveals to the man all the beautiful and horrible truths of the universe through a mystical song. The traveler seems overcome with a feeling of awe. Panel 3: the man tosses a dollar into the open instrument case. The busker says, “one dollar? Seriously?” The man, returning his wallet to his pocket, says, “dude— I’m not giving you my twenty.”

Two panel comic. Panel 1: the opening title card for a TLC reality show called My Life with a PERMANENT STANKY LEG. Pictured behind the title text is a man hysterically ugly crying on the shoulder of a presumed family member. Panel 2: the man is at a funeral ceremony. The other people at the funeral - including the priest reciting the last rites of the deceased - stand somberly around the casket. The man from the first panel is a member of the crowd. His face is one of solemn sorrow, but his body is hitting the nastiest stanky leg. Hands on knees, getting crazy low with it.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a panel of judges are sitting at a table with a black tablecloth and a small sign that reads: TRYOUTS. A young person is in the middle of a performance when the eldest judge interrupts by saying, “thank you, we’ve seen enough.” The other judges next to him seem equally bored and unimpressed. Panel 2: the middle judge continues, adjusting his glasses to read off of a clipboard. “Next up… walrus dressed like Big Smoke from GTA San Andreas.” Panel 3: a walrus dressed like Big Smoke from GTA San Andreas appears before them. The walrus bashfully asks, “…is this the right room?” The middle judge gazes upon the walrus in awe, with his mouth slightly agape.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: the mutant bear from Annihilation (2018) is sitting and eating at a restaurant table across from a woman. Another woman wearing glasses is standing a short distance away, and says, “oh my gosh! The mutant bear from annihilation!” Panel 2: she continues, “what was Natalie Portman like?” The bear seems slightly put off, and is in the middle of eating some food. Panel 3: the bear says, “um, I’m kinda with a friend.” The woman sitting across from the bear looks visibly annoyed at the other woman’s rude interjection. The woman is glasses says, “ah! Sorry!”

Two panel comic. Panel 1: two mice are ogling at someone off panel. One mouse says, “oh my gosh, did it hurt?” Another says, “it looks so cool…” Panel 2: the subject of their attention is another mouse with a huge mouse trap clamped on his ear. He is surrounded by interested, flirty mice. He nonchalantly tries to calm the crowd by putting his hands up and saying “ahaha… ladies, ladies…”

SOLD OUT! Thank you!

Bumper sticker featuring big binky and the banana boys. It reads: Keep honking! I’m busy listening to Big Binky and the Banana Boys

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a cow is being abducted by a UFO. Panel 2. The cow is standing inside the UFO in an observation room. It’s unusually still and unresponsive. There is a grey alien standing next to the cow, rubbing his chin, looking confused about the motionless nature of the cow. Another grey alien is emerging from off panel, and is smiling and shushing someone else out of frame. Panel 3: the cow opens on a hinge laterally down the middle. It’s hollow on the inside and a grey alien stripper pops out, smiling, with a big theatrical gesture. The first alien is laughing and totally surprised, and his buddies excitedly laugh and step into frame to celebrate.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: YouTube workout video featuring a girl on a yoga mat. She’s on her back with one leg raised and one knee tucked to her chest. Shes says, “take that right leg…” Panel 2: “and phase it into the 6th dimension.” Her leg enters a wormhole and reappears behind her exiting the wormhole. Her foot is folding into parallel dimensions and is barely comprehensible. Panel 3: a guy is on the floor of his living room, attempting to follow along while watching the video on his laptop. He looks sweaty and miserable and is totally in the wrong position. Fiddling with the computer keyboard, he interjects, “wait how’d she do that?”

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy with his finger resting on his chin appears to be in thought. A girl behind him with her hand on her hips says, “are you even listening to me?” Panel 2: the tableau - including the speech bubble - from the first panel starts to morph into… Panel 3: a bearded man in a hat rest under a tree with his dog. They are on the bank of a river. A goose stands under another nearby tree. The sky is big and blue.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a man is hunched over at his desk inputting spreadsheet information on his computer. From the doorway behind him, his colleague asks, “are you free to help me train the new hire?” Panel 2: looking a bit worn out, the man at the computer turns around halfway and replies, “look man— I’m kinda in a rush to finish these…” Panel 3: he interrupts himself, mildly shocked. He exclaims, “Red Bionicle??” This supposed new hire is indeed the original red bionicle, clad in office attire and holding a brown messenger bag, is standing with his colleague in the doorway.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a trio of girls are sitting at a table (one of them is a somewhat grotesque alien-like entity with grey skin, tentacles, and numerous red eyes). One of the human girls points accusingly at the alien girl and asks, “did you just say you’re not going to prom?” Panel 2: the two human girls stand excitedly around the alien girl in a boutique. The alien girl is trying on a turquoise prom dress and seems tentatively happy. Panel 3: Prom night. The two human girls embrace while they ecstatically watch from a distance as the alien girl slow dances with a hunky guy in a tuxedo and matching turquoise bow tie. She’s wearing the turquoise dress and has her head on his chest.

R/beetlemoses 10K subscriber special! ASK ME ANYTHING on 6/23 @ 4PM ET. Reddit.com/r/beetlemoses

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a kid stands in front of his science fair presentation on a three-sided cardboard display. The display reads: When I grow up, I want to be… THE LARGEST SEA CREATURE. Panel 2: the kid, now matured, is walking into the ocean confidently. He’s turned back toward the shore, smiling and waving at his parents who are standing a few meters behind him, right where the water meets the shore. They’re waving back to him. Panel 3: from a bird’s eye view the kid can be seen under the surface of the water. He’s massive and only a portion of his face is in frame. His father, who appears older, is paddling alone in a canoe above his son’s submerged gigantic face.

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a spiral notepad is held by an off-panel individual. The notepad reads: TO DO: Peek out from behind a rock; Open and close mouth repeatedly. Panel 2: it’s a moray eel

I’m married

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a monkey stands in front of an ATM in a gas station/convenience store. The screen on the ATM reads: Please wait… Panel 2: the screen reads: CURRENT ACCOUNT BALANCE: 4 raspberries. It also displays a little picture of a raspberry. The monkey looks very pleased and is making a casual celebratory hand gesture 🤙 with both hands.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy is walking his little dog, who is sniffing around in the grass. Text on the panel reads: for my dog to poop, she must enter a flow state. Panel 2: the dog looks extremely deep in thought. Around her head are rotating spheres which display the concepts REALITY, MIND, SPACE, TIME, and SOUL. Panel 3: the dog has achieved nirvana - she is in a squatted pooping position depicted in silhouette in the middle of a psychedelic, kaleidoscopic image in the style of an Alex Grey painting.

Big binky driving a car falling out of the sky along with Epoch Sonder, Shen Comix, and Bryson Mcbee. Heading straight for the Owensboro convention center. See you at OMGCon this weekend!

Three panel comic. Panel 1: two people are laying romantically in the grass on a clear day. The girl asks the guy, “where does the wind come from?” Panel 2: the guy calmly replies, “pressure changes?” The girl says, “ahh…” Panel 3: Professor Propeller, a small, rotund mustached man in a skin tight suit covered in rotating fans blowing air around, peeks out from behind a tree. He says deviously, “that’s right, you morons…”

See you soon, OMG!Con!

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy wearing swim trunks and a snorkeling mask walks confidently into the ocean on a public beach surrounded by some scattered onlookers. He is carrying an electric lantern and his snorkeling tube is very tall, extending up and out of the frame. Panel 2: he continues forward into the water, nearly fully submerged with only the top of his head above water. The snorkel is still too tall to be seen completely in frame. The onlookers watch blankly as he disappears under the surface. Panel 3: the guy is walking casually at the abyssal floor of the ocean, where no light penetrates. His electric lantern illuminates his immediate vicinity. He is surrounded by a collection of weird deep sea creatures, including a deep sea isopod, vampire squid, chimaera, and barrel eye fish. Can you name all the creatures in frame?

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a couple skater dudes are hanging out, sitting outside at a storefront parking lot. A little grey alien in a t-shirt, shorts, and a helmet points at the skateboard held by one of the skaters. The skater dude asks, “you wanna try?” Panel 2: the skateboarder friends watch in complete shock as the little alien attempts a skateboard trick outside the parameters of human comprehension.

Preorder Beetle Moses: A Comics Menagerie through Barnes & Noble today!

Two panel comic. Panel 1: two Tiktaaliks (an extinct, 375-million-year-old fish that was the evolutionary link between fish and the first four-legged land animals) sit at the floor of a shallow sea bed. One of them angrily says to the other, “hey! You still owe me 20 bucks!” Panel 2: the other Tiktaalik, to avoid paying $20, emerges from the water and steps onto land for the first time in history. The first tiktaalik is absolutely stupefied.

Two panel comic. Panel 1: a chrysalis hangs from a branch in a tree. Panel 2: inside the chrysalis is a small room. A caterpillar is sitting on the floor looking exhausted and frustrated with its head in its hand. Scattered on the floor around the caterpillar are large parts of butterfly wings in boxes like pieces of furniture that require assembly, and an electric drill, and a beer.

Red pill: signature hotdog. Blue pill: every other good thing

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy seated and getting a haircut notices something unusual about the barbershop flyer on the wall that displays haircut options. He says, “hey, wait a minute…” and begins to unfold the bottom of the poster, which is tucked underneath it. Panel 2: he continues as he unfolds the paper. “There’s more haircuts under here.” Behind him, his barber stares grimly, his face cast in shadow. Panel 3: the poster is unfolded on the ground, displaying a continued list of increasingly bizarre haircuts, including a rectangular prism mustache and hair in the shape of a duck. Cast in shadow against the poster is the shadow of the barber strangling the client. He knows too much.

The girl from the first page sits at a cafe with her friend. Her giant cat beast sits politely behind them. Her friend says, “ya know… that’s why you’re supposed to keep your cat indoors.” The girl puts her hand up and says, “I know.”

Meanwhile, across the universe: a quadrupedal alien runs throw a large, unusual hallway. It shouts “My liege!!” The alien king is lounging on a chaise lounge being fanned by a small robot. The king replies, “What do you want?” The first alien answers, “your highness— we’ve traced a signal! Gamma radiation… at unspeakable levels.”