Ben Zelevansky

@benzelevansky.com

408 Followers 317 Following

Actor / Writer / 6x Winner, Milt and Edie's Dry Cleaners Photo Caption Contest http://www.BenZelevansky.com Managing Editor, Deathbed http://www.DeathbedWriting.com

Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings whispering in King Théoden’s ear
Screen grab of a New Republic story with a subhead that reads “The health secretary will have to contend with a growing diarrhea parasite”
A box of Kashi “Good Friends” cereal
Screencap of noted ding dong Aaron J Fentress approving of the idea of the Blazers signing the comedically injury-prone Jarred Vanderbilt
Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad throwing back his head in anguish and crying out “How is he so good at this?!?”
Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad throwing back his head in anguish and crying out “How is he so good at this?!?”
Springfieldians pelting Monty Burns with pretzels
Brian Gionta and Zdeno Chara displaying their comical height differential
Logan Roy excoriating his children on Succession
Spell check failing to recognize “unforatunely” as “unfortunately”
Chris Rock in “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” trying to order one rib
Steve Landesberg as Detective Sergeant Arthur Dietrich on Barney Miller
Trusted TV personality Kent Brockman from The Simpsons volunteering to help giant ants from space round up humans to toil in their underground sugar caves
Screencap of an excerpt from Gene Shalit’s Wikipedia page that reads “Shalit announced that he would leave The Today Show after 40 years, effective November 11, 2010. He was quoted as saying ‘It's enough already,’ about his retirement.”
Matisse Thybulle giving a disdainful thumbs down as Blake Wesley looks on
Screengrab from AAA.com showing Los Angeles-Long Beach current average gas prices of $5.798 for Regular, $6.002 for Mid and $6.178 for Premium - each at least a dollar higher than a month ago
An ad for Manus, Meta’s latest AI nonsense. The tagline is “Supercharge your business with Manus”
Moe from The Simpsons blaming his problems on “immigants”
Meme featuring an orc from Lord of the Rings saying “Looks like fraud waste and abuse is back on the menu, boys!”
Meme featuring an orc from Lord of the Rings saying “Looks like fraud waste and abuse is back on the menu, boys!”
Ben Affleck yelling “You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Kennedy, and I won't have it!”
Ben Affleck yelling “You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Kennedy, and I won't have it!”
Ben Affleck yelling “You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Kennedy, and I won't have it!”
Ben Affleck yelling “You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Kennedy, and I won't have it!”
Donald Trump Jr and Eric Trump looking like a couple of space mutants trying to blend into the human race
Screencap from The Simpsons of a giant banner that reads: WELCOME FINALISTS Reading Digest "BREVITY IS... WIT"
SNL Weekend Update anchor Norm MacDonald sits at the news desk in front of a graphic showing the cover of a magazine called “Duh”
Homer Simpson confronting mobster Fat Tony and asking him “You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return?”
A vintage sign for Arby’s in the shape of a giant cowboy hat
A bus stop ad for the Melania Trump documentary with the graffiti “is a c*nt” scrawled under the First Lady’s name
Title page of the book “Daddy‘s Boy” by Chris and Bob Elliott, autographed by both men
A promotional image for Deathbed: Horror Stories by Comedy Writers In the foreground is a person shown from neck to torso standing in a conference room. The title of the story - Survival Job - is integrated with a stylized letter A logo on the breast of the person’s golf shirt. The copy in the image reads: COMING MONDAY SURVIVAL JOB LONG HOURS. KILLER BENEFITS. AN ORIGINAL STORY BY BEN ZELEVANSKY ONLY ON DEATHBED
Norman Rockwell’s “Freedom of Speech” painting, in which a lone dissenter stands up to address those assembled for a town meeting. In his jacket pocket is a rolled up copy of the town’s Annual Report.
Screen grab of Steph Curry playing at the Olympics with a caption that reads “This devil named Curry is hurting us”
Bill Maher and David Zaslav sitting next to each other courtside at a Laker game
A devilishly handsome young man stands in front of Dunkin’ Donuts, where he has purchased his coffee so as not to cross the picket line at Starbucks
Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap listening to his bandmate David St. Hubbins say “I envy us.”
Screencap from The Simpsons showing Mr. Burns at the post office. He’s saying “YES, I’D LIKE TO SEND THIS LETTER TO THE PRUSSIAN CONSULATE IN SIAM BY AEROMAIL. AM I TOO LATE FOR THE 4:30 AUTO-GYRO?”
Salacious Crumb from Return of the Jedi laughing
A smiling LeBron James from the famous IG post where he says he can’t believe this is his life
Screen capture of a news article with the headline “Illinois man arrested after pretending to be rocker Sammy Hagar”
Silvio Dante from The Sopranos saying “I’m gonna take action on this.”
A’ja Wilson wearing ski goggles and drunkenly shaking a tambourine during the post game press conference
A social media post from the WNBA that reads: The numbers don't lie 3x WNBA Champion 2x Finals MVP 4x MVP 3x DPOY 7x All-Star 5x All-WNBA 4x All-Defensive 5x league leader in blocks Most points in a single season (1,021) Tied for most points in a single game (53) All-time leader in 40 point games (4) Aces all-time leader in points and rebounds AND on top of that, A'ja was named the 2025 WNBA Finals MVP. She's now the holder of the Defensive Player of the Year, MVP, and Finals MVP— becoming the first player in WNBA history to win ALL THREE AWARDS in the SAME SEASON.
A section of an online scrabble board displaying an error message that reads “LETTUS is not a valid word”
Marty from The Big Lebowski invites The Dude to his dance quintet, you know, his cycle
A picture of the Mandalorian alongside the slogan “This is the way.”
Harrison Ford and Jeff Hiller in their little Emmy nominee squares at the moment Hiller was announced as the winner
Trump: truthsocial.com/@DC_Draino/115.... NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE. Also, DC IS A CRIME FREE ZONE! President DJT 1.87k ReTruths 9.26k Likes 8/31/25, 1:42 PM
Screencap from a 2016 ABC News report about Hillary Clinton being helped into a campaign vehicle allegedly due to some undisclosed medical issue
Donald Trump, lurching toward the camera like a decaying zombie
Dr. Startz (Rob Lowe) examining Liberace (Michael Douglas) post-facelift in HBO’s “Behind the Candelabra”
Aunt Gladys from the horror film Weapons
MSNBC/NOW chose my oft-GIFfed scene with Nick Offerman as a representation of his iconic run on “Parks and Recreation”
Don Draper from Mad Men drunkenly pitching a new ad campaign
Don Draper from Mad Men drunkenly pitching a new ad slogan
Becky Hammon looking pissed as per usual
The Duracell battery guy with the weird rubbery face from that ad in the 80s
Excerpt from the WSJ article that reads: “The company said it was developing better tools to detect mental distress so ChatGPT can respond appropriately and adding alerts to prompt users to take a break when they have been communicating with ChatGPT for too long.”