BonzaiBexter

@bexterthecodester.bsky.social

862 Followers 1637 Following

Lifelong Blue. Lover of Humor and all Animals. Champion eye-roller. Believer in Fair Shakes and Helping Hands. Humboldt Native. Colorado Transplant.

Dating profile for Jesus. Picture shows man in Jesus costume (maybe it’s a costume, maybe it’s really Jesus. Do we know for sure?) sitting outside at a small table by what could be a lake. There are trees and hills in the background and a gazebo, indicating maybe he’s at a public park. Jesus is pouring red liquid from a clear water bottle that looks like a Smart Water store-bought bottle (because of course Jesus would drink Smart water). There’s a family-size bag of red Swedish Fish on the table and and big handful of the fish on a cutting board. Also on the table is a plastic bag of what might be a stack of corn tortillas? I can’t see it that clearly. But clearly, Jesus is performing a couple of well-known miracles here to catch your attention. Underneath the picture is “Jesus, 21” followed by “carpenter”. Under that, his profile states “Actually several thousand years old idk why it says 21 lol. Downside I’ve only been nailed once.” Under that are what I think are options to indicate your preferences - big X in a red circle on the left, star in a blue circle in the middle, and text icon in a green circle on the right. Idk, I’m old and I’ve never used Tinder. Is this how Tinder works? It’s called Tinder, right? LOL.
A wood clock with a picture of Jesus Christ, looking at the dial, exclaiming “Jesus Christ! Would you look at the time!”