brandonhare the cool and neat

@brandonhare.com

443 Followers 285 Following

hello website - https://brandonhare.com/ games - https://brandonhare.itch.io/ twitter - https://twitter.com/double_bucket_ google - https://google.com/ he/him/hello

In Kleiner's lab before the teleport sequence: Barney sarcastically compliments the player on their "M.T.V" education. There are several more plugs connecting to silly things, including a lamp, the wall, and most prominently: Barney. Eli's camera feed is visible on a monitor and he appears to have been turned into some kind of sphere. The other security monitors are now showing "In The Virtual End (Linkin Park HL2 music video)". The game's HUD shows "Yealth" and "Yuit" numbers. Kleiner calls Barney "Blarney".
A screenshot of the main menu of half-life 2 with a bunch of text ruined. The main menu options are now: "new game of the whole game", "load the whole game", "pride", "options for the whole game", "bye". The achievements panel is now titled "I Am So Proud Of You", its progress bar now reads "very cool gamer skill and awesome", and a checkbox is labeled "Hide Conquered". The options menu is now labelled "Welcome to Options". The subcategory tabs now read "Normal", "Yeyboard", "Moose", "Gamepad", "Noises", "Illusion of Motion". The keyboard controls panel is open, and the first letter of every action has been changed to a 'Y'. Some actions include: "Yove yeft (yrafe)", "Yump", "Yimary yattack", "Youse yitem (yuttons, yachines, ...)", "Yravity Yun", "Yuit Yoom". The "yes/no/accept" buttons at the bottom of the panel now read "yeah/nah/for sure".
The player tears off the boards covering a window at Kleiner's lab and makes a daring escape into the unknown.
Dr. Kleiner reads out his modifications to Gordon's suit: "The Mark V Hazardous Environment Suit has been redesigned for comfort and fertility." The player is concerned.
Activating the secret eye scanner lock in Dr. Kleiner's lab. It now shoots fire and the player runs around burning.
the $895 golden lobster thing
The player tears the doors off a locker one by one.
The secret vending machine entrance to Dr. Kleiner's lab. No joke in this one, I just thought the fake quote was funny.
The player talks to a citizen in the trainstation. He says: "Drink the water. They don't put something in it to make you forget. I remember how I got here." The player happily walks off with his bottle of water.
the vortigaunt cleaner from the start of a game sweeps around an explosive barrel and blows up
the slide in the playground area has been moved to point straight into a cracked and bloodstained wall. the player climbs up and has a nice slide down.
the player walks up to the swingset in the abandoned playground and gets on. it's actually an invisible airboat you can wobble around a bit
the signs in the intro plaza have been ruined. the big red sign previously showing "хссг" now reads "xkcd". a hotel sign now reads "loltel". in the background there are more ruined signs that are too small to read in this screenshot.
opening one of the closed booths at the starting train station. there's a guy in there and he says hi. the "change" sign has also been ruined to read "chage".
dr breen sitting on the train at the start of the game, recording his breencast to a camera
the player approaches a fenced off corner of the train station, knocks down the gate, then turns the corner to see a wonderful new area of random boxes and benches and barrels all over the place
the player heads towards the exit of the train station into the plaza, but instead goes to look at a door nobody's ever thought to look at. opening it knocks over a poor metrocop who was standing on the other side. also an unrelated explosion happens
Breen has been scrungled into a stickbug.
The elevator in the apartment chase level works now. The player ascends all the way up to the door to the roof, but the elevator keeps going through the ceiling and returns back from under the ground floor again.
the door to the security room before you meet barney. the sign has been changed to read "NOVA PROSPEKT 2"
a grenade rolls out of the vending machine
the player escapes towards the roof thanks to a citizen holding the door closed. unfortunately there's suddenly a second door too that the player opens and ruins everything
some metrocops having fun playing in the playground while the player is accosted by the raid upstairs
the elevator ride down to the secret lab passes by a bunch of nonsense on the way
the secret entrance to the secret hideout is plastered with the rebel lambda spraypaint all over the place
the metrocops are missing so alyx beats you up instead
Pertol
the "pick up that can" scene from half life 2 but the can is an explosive barrel
an ornate chair sits looking towards a giant egg in a dark room
The poster for the film "It's a Wonderful Life" edited into the album art for "Wonderwall". The text now reads: "It's a Wonderful Wall".
A screenshot of the onepost post. "The Monarch" says: "If this gets 2 likes I'll secede". The post has one like.
a dog petting machine (giant industrial press) the dog is happy and pet
my life-size cardboard cutout of my businessman stock photo guy standing guard at the upstairs window of Sabby
holding my cursed lantern in front of everyone at the freeplay parallels event
Another screenshot of onepost where someone's replaced with the post with a funnier parody version. The visual style has also been changed to "evil mode" and everything looks scary.
A screenshot of my social media website "onepost" where someone's written an ad for EVE Online. The text abruptly cuts off before they can finish their spiel.
a rapidly changing QR code but every frame leads to https://brandonhare.com/qr.gif
holding up my nice cursed lantern in the park
a switch 1 with a label saying “TWO”
an assortment of silly dice atop a packet of small gravestone props. the dice are skewed, tiny, have silly labels, and other wonderful nonsense
an edited screenshot of the Steam homepage showing "brandon's nice game". it's for sale for $1 with a 0% sale, displays 4 screenshots of my face, and has 2000 negative reviews.
the back of a magazine with an ad for dog food or something, but the eyes of the dog have been roughly cut out
a slightly pathetic christmas tree in an old shopping mall, surrounded by several signed labelling it as the “Tree of Joy”
"WELCOME TO SUBSCRIBE" on a bright pink background
A screenshot of my twitter drafts. Each post is just the same text “a car with three wheels” but with different numbers of wheels.
Evil Brandon’s business card, saying “i am evil”