da birchman

@brch.mn

399 Followers 511 Following

that's actually crazy he's putting up this numbers definitely slept on

Algeria in Spanish is Argelia
end to a postgame on court interview with LaMelo Ball from 2021 in which he says, "New year, new me-... same me tho!"
darko graph comparing Bones and Ayo. The former is better than the latter
screenshot from an MSP Mag article published today announcing that Lito's Burritos and El Tejaban have closed, largely due to Operation Metro Surge.
an IG story from @nifmuhammad of a picture of Karl-Anthony Towns with text over it saying: "when i wrote that big ESPN story on the Wolves in 2023, there was one game day I was down in the locker room and in the training/catering area, and what really endeared me to KAT was how familiar he was with the workers and how kind he was to all of them. He asked the guy bringing in Gatorade about this son's soccer season, he asked a person bringing in fresh towels how their mom's health was. One of the workers brought their basketball loving/playing teenager in with them and pretty much every other player just gave a nod and silent fist bump but KAT was asking the kid what position he played, what shoes he played in. I think in an ecosystem where you're told constantly that you are larger than life and people exist to serve that reality, I was really overjoyed to see KAT just plainly reject that way of being
KAT at the top of the DBPM list for a single playoff season all-time (NBA/ABA) (5.53)
Single season playoff DBPM rankings across the NBA/ABA all-time. KAT (2026) is #1 at 5.63
StatMuse screenshot stating. "Karl-Anthony Towns has the highest plus/minus in a single NBA playoff run, at +262 this season."
An IG screenshot of Dave East with his arm around Ben Stiller from Dave East's Instagram. Caption says, "Wit My Son Gaylord Foccer U Kno Da Vibes...."
Jaden McDaniels in a new white/blue minnesota timberwolves uniform.
a screenshot from databallr showing that Karl-Anthony Towns has a true shooting percentage of 70% over the last 20 games.
arod courtside with his eyes goes kinda goin 'fuckkk'
Richard Grenell saying wtf
A chart showing NBA Net Points per 100 Possessions in the playoffs so far. 4 of the top 5 overall are Thunder(s?), with KAT the lone non-Thunder at #3.
(incoming text): Gonna be a wild one I think (outgoing text): this series is going 7 but I don't think this is gonna be a close game tonight. I'm not sure in which direction the blowout will go, but I'm confident that someone gets wiped tonight then wins a close game 4. (incoming text): Yeah, very possible! (outgoing text): Aaron Gordon downgraded to questionable and now I'm thinking it's a Wolves blowout tonight
screenshot from BALL DON'T CRY from a practice round. The player has played 7 seasons (the teams are blurred since it's first guess) and saw their PPG rocket up from 9.4 last year to over 20 this year :)
a screenshot from a twitter viewer application (so you can see without being logged in) of @gracecamille_ quote-tweeting someone who posted the video and saying, "IM CRYINGGGGGGGG I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND THIS IS JUST HOW WE TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my account responding to the same post I've attached this image to as a reply, saying: "becoming a 'bluesky is dying' guy, but only because of the icnreasing unreliability of the site/app itself." there's an error message at the top that says: "Post failed to upload. Please check your Internet connection and try again." lol
Tobias Funke from Arrested Development saying "... but it might work for us"
A headshot and biographical details of an Arkansas basketball player named Malique "Not Patric" Ewin
Piglet can't believe it. Eeyore's dancing on us and he can't believe it.
[incoming text] November Julius has reappeared [outgoing text] (after winning $500 playing Craps, bringing my total winnings on the year to -$10,000) I'm fucken back baby
Estimated Plus-Minus comparison across seasons between DLo and Dubious Handle
Darko Career DPM Progression: DLo vs. Dubious Handle
post from "me" (birchman.bsky.social) saying: When It Happens celebrations, but for Chuck Schumer
Green and purple garish-looking Nickolodeon alarm clock from the 90s
Screen shot of a 10 WINS GOLD VICTORY Dooley recap screen from The Bazaar. Featuring a Diamond Restorative Monitor Lizard, Silver Fiery Cog, Bronze Fiery Soldering Gun, Silver YLW-M4NT1S, Bronze Fiery First Aiden, Diamond Shielded Copper Ed, and (the pièce de résistance) a Diamond Fiery Dooltron. There are 8 skills (2 diamond, 3 gold and 3 silver) but the specifics of those are less important. STATS: Max Health - 6930 Prestige - 8 Level - 14 Income - 11 Gold - 68
DPM by season graph of Jaden McDaniels, Julius Randle. Jaden McDaniels has pulled ahead this year in expected impact
Monster Energy Zero Sugar Strawberry Shot
"I'm not surprised this happened," Anthony James Kazmierczak's brother said Wednesday morning in a phone interview from his home in North Carolina. "Not at all. Unfortunately, he and my mother are both right-wing extremists."
"Jeremy Renner" telling Stefan Heck that looking at porno on the computer is "Nasty!! Not Cool"
Win! Twins! image of Minnie and St. Paul changed to them flipping off the camera and holding a baseball bat menacingly while the text now reads FUCK! ICE!
Continued Pratt: "I've spent a number of occasions hanging with him in a strictly family dinner kind of vibe," Pratt. "I really got a long with him well and think he's great. He's funny, he's wonderful. I love him ... But when you jump on the bandwagon with the most divisive president ever, it makes sense that you're going to be made to look terrible. So I don't know what to believe about his reported policies. It's not like I say to Bobby, "Let's talk about this" while we're playing cards or having fun or having dinner. [HIGHLIGHTED PORTION] I'm not going to pick his brain to find out exactly which of those things are true. I just assume that none of them are? [/HIGHLIGHTED PORTION] For the most part, i wish him well."
A modified image of Minnie and St. Paul -- the Win! Twins! mascots -- shown to be flicking off the camera and holding a baseball bat menacingly in front of the outline of the state of Minnesota and a baseball with semi-transparent Minnesota Rebel Alliance logo overlayed. Red text is above saying "FUCK! ICE!"
a tweet from Tom Emmer, confirming him to be a demon or devil reincarnate who needs to be banished from earth permanently
modified tweet from @DiamondEyesFox that reads: if i was a democratic politician i would be saying stuff about the republicans like "these are evil people, these are not good human beings"
O-DPM comparison of KAT, Brunson, OG, Mikal
Trade machine showing that a Karl-Anthony Towns trade for Tobias Harris, Isaiah Stewart and Bibi Klintman is successful
D-DPM of 4 Knicks starters, 1) OG 2) KAT 3) Mikal 4) Brunson
a screenshot of a bsky search of Pete Buttigieg's posts, revealing he has not ONCE mentioned ICE in the history of his account. He refused to acknowledge Renee Good as well, and has only offered condolences to Minnesota regarding Melissa Hortman's murder and the Ascension school shooting. This man is a spineless freak who belongs nowhere near any position of power.
from the bottom right quarter of the quoted video, an image overlay saying: 1 YEAR OF TRUMP PRESIDENCY TONIGHT 8P/7C BILL O'REILLY | CHRIS CUOMO | STEPHEN A. SMITH
screen shot of the article highlighting the text "[Transgender participation in women's athletics] makes gambling, performance-enhancing drugs, and regulation of collegiate athletics look like tidy challenges."
Rob Lowe at a football game in a hat that just says "NFL"
Jim Downey on Conan's podcast
NICK SHIRLEY BROUGHT ICE TO MINNESOTA HE HELPED KILL RENEE GOOD DO NOT LET HIM IN YOUR BUSINESS [image of evil doofus Nick Shirley] IF YOU SEE THIS MAN TELL HIM TO KILL HIMSELF
Any time you start a beef on Twitter it's only a matter of time before someone starts talking like sephiroth in your mentions
@maplecocaine When someone uses this emoji (crying-laughing emoji) they are more mad than they have ever been in their entire life
multiple tweets from the_birchman twitter archive making fun of Andrew Wiggins for scoring 1 more or less than his shot total. One tweet also introduces the WIGGINS: any game in which a player's point total is equal to their number of field goals attempted plus or minus one (minimum 15 fga)
Karl-Anthony Towns and Anthony Edwards laughing in street clothes on the sideline of a Minnesota Timberwolves basketball game
Darko Career DPM Progression: Julius Randle, Trae Young, Ja Morant, James Harden, LaMelo Ball (currently, Harden is @ 4.0, Morant is @ 2.4, Trae is @ 1.4, LaMelo is @ 1.0 and Randle is @ 0.2)
Darko Career DPM Progression: Julius Randle, Trae Young, Ja Morant, James Harden, LaMelo Ball (currently, Harden is @ 4.0, Morant is @ 2.4, Trae is @ 1.4, LaMelo is @ 1.0 and Randle is @ 0.2)
Darko Career DPM Progression: Julius Randle, Trae Young, Ja Morant, James Harden, LaMelo Ball (currently, Harden is @ 4.0, Morant is @ 2.4, Trae is @ 1.4, LaMelo is @ 1.0 and Randle is @ 0.2)
two ball-knowers simply knowing ball
picture of a guy standing in front of his own picture from Hot Fuzz
gwb being informed that 9/11 was happening on 9/11
birchman @The_Birchman Jun 30, 2023 oh wow just got a breakfast burrito from Lito's Burritos in Richfield and it was the best I've ever had in my life? this is genuinely life-changing for me 0 RT 8 Likes ID 1674848516877713426