B. van Bodegom 📃is AGENTED

@bvbodegom.bsky.social

2563 Followers 1791 Following

Author of horror, sci-fi, dark fantasy & more. #Dis father of four. Gamer. 🇳🇱 Forever DM. DAD BODIES, a co(s)mic horror novel. Writing MARK OF THE JESTER, a dark fantasy novel. Born in the 80's. Rep: V. Ruiz (D4EO)

Poster-style graphic with a black background and heavy red blood splatter. Large distressed white and red text reads “DAD BODIES.” A dagger runs horizontally through the letters, and a 20-sided die showing low numbers appears on the right. Along the bottom are black silhouettes of heads with X-shaped eyes. Beneath, smaller text reads “ROLL FOR FUCKERY,” and at the bottom: “A co(s)mic horror novel by B. van Bodegom.”
Poster-style graphic with a black background and heavy red blood splatter. Large distressed white and red text reads “DAD BODIES.” A dagger runs horizontally through the letters, and a 20-sided die showing low numbers appears on the right. Along the bottom are black silhouettes of heads with X-shaped eyes. Beneath, smaller text reads “A TTRPG EXPERIENCE,” and at the bottom: “A D20 system by B. van Bodegom.”
Book cover for Dad Bodies. The title "DAD" appears in large distressed white letters above "BODIES" in bold blood-red lettering. Beneath the title, a red twenty-sided die with the word "FUCK" on the top face sits over the forehead of a grinning man whose face is dramatically lit in deep red against a black background. One eye is obscured by rough white paint-like streaks, creating an unsettling, horror-inspired look. At the bottom, the tagline reads "Roll for Fuckery," followed by "A Novel by B. van Bodegom."
A gothic-style book cover featuring a striking black silhouette of a woman in a long gown against a stark white background. Her form, particularly around her head and shoulders, appears to be fracturing or dissolving into dark particles, with her long hair blowing to the right. The entire scene is framed by an ornate, black Art Nouveau-style archway. At the bottom, a textured, smoky black mist rises. The title at the top reads "The Immortician" in a metallic gold font, with "The" written in an elegant cursive script. Near the bottom, the words "Love. Obsession. Decay." are spaced across the width in a classic serif font, and below them, the text "A NOVEL BY B. VAN BODEGOM" appears in a clean, all-caps sans-serif font.
A sci-fi book cover featuring a digital illustration of a young man with messy brown hair and a smudge-faced expression, looking upward and to the right. He wears a worn, blue jacket with dirt patches and a pair of brass-rimmed goggles with glowing green lenses resting around his neck. The background depicts space, filled with stars and a large purple and pink textured planet surrounded by a ring of dark space debris. A black silhouette of a futuristic space station stands out against the planet. At the top, the title reads "JAK STERZAND" in large, bold, green-shadowed white letters, with the subtitle "ESCAPE FROM FREEPORT" in glowing yellow text underneath. At the bottom, it reads "A novel by B. van Bodegom" in white text.
It would do him no good, Edmund thought. He might be conscious, but his body no longer produced or circulated fluids. Taking out a scratched but polished silver pocketwatch from his pewter waistcoat, Edmund flipped it open. Its soft, mechanical ticking filled the quiet of the room. "We have until first light, mister Robinson. This time of year, dawn is around a quarter past six. So," he paused, running a quick calculation in his mind, "approximately three hours and ten minutes." He flicked the pocketwatch closed and tucked it back, shifting his gaze to the resurrected man.
His gaze went past the Captain and Jarrol, past the back of the ship and up, locking in on the pale Fool's Moon still in the sky above. It had started to retreat since a week or so, and should've assumed its spot with the other two moons before long, but it was going much more slowly than he was led to believe by the king's astronomer. Just like the day he buried St. Magnus's crown in the face of Rondolar, the moon grinned its sadistic smile down at him. Bastard.
Potley pulled his head back in shock. "Don't blame him? Mistress Carnigann, when I'm done with him, no-one will be doing anything with him, anymore. There will be nothing left to blame." Sadness was fighting rage. He feared the white, powdery base on his face might ignite.
A digital illustration of a young man named Jak Sterzand, a scavenger in a gritty sci-fi setting. He is shown from the chest up in a profile view against a solid black background. He has messy, windblown brown hair and bright green eyes with a focused, slightly smirking expression. He wears heavily stained and weathered blue industrial overalls, covered in dark grease smudges and rust-colored grime. Around his neck hang large, brass-rimmed aviator-style goggles with glowing green lenses; the brown leather strap is visibly worn and repaired with jagged white adhesive tape. Subtle anatomical details like freckles, skin creases, and light highlights on his face contrast with the heavy, textured filth on his clothing and skin.
Digital art of older teenage boy wearing blue coveralls with messy brown hair and a smirk, green eyes, engineering goggles around his neck.
Digital art of older teenage boy wearing blue coveralls with messy brown hair and a smirk, green eyes, engineering goggles arpund his neck.
#pencil #drawing of an older teenage girl and boy, from the shoulders up.
This vertical poster for "The Immortician" features a black-and-white high-contrast composition with gold-toned typography. ​Top: The title "The Immortician" is written in a serif font with gold gradients, framed by a black ornamental archway. ​Center: A black silhouette of a long-haired figure in a gown stands against a white background. Parts of the silhouette, specifically the head and arms, appear to be disintegrating into small particles. ​Middle: Three words—"Love.", "Obsession.", and "Decay."—are spaced horizontally across the center in a black serif font. ​bottom: A Novel by B. Van Bodegom
Top left: distressed title “DAD BODIES” with a dagger through the letters and red blood splatter on a black background. Top right: blurb text describing five dads solving their detective friend’s murder during a gaming retreat using TTRPG experience and humor; includes “74K words,” “20+ requests,” and “Big 5 interest.” Bottom left: thematic keywords in red and white—“dad friends,” “irreverent humor,” “dark & stormy night,” “cosmic horror,” and “final dad”—above silhouettes of figures with X-shaped eyes. Bottom right: comparison panel referencing “John Dies at the End,” “Cabin in the Woods,” and “Jumanji,” with small images/posters and red splatter accents.
Poster-style graphic with a black background and heavy red blood splatter. Large distressed white and red text reads “DAD BODIES.” A dagger runs horizontally through the letters, and a 20-sided die showing low numbers appears on the right. Along the bottom are black silhouettes of heads with X-shaped eyes. Beneath, smaller text reads “ROLL FOR FUCKERY,” and at the bottom: “A co(s)mic horror novel by B. van Bodegom.”
This vertical poster for "The Immortician" features a black-and-white high-contrast composition with gold-toned typography. ​Top: The title "The Immortician" is written in a serif font with gold gradients, framed by a black ornamental archway. ​Center: A black silhouette of a long-haired figure in a gown stands against a white background. Parts of the silhouette, specifically the head and arms, appear to be disintegrating into small particles. ​Middle: Three words—"Love.", "Obsession.", and "Decay."—are spaced horizontally across the center in a black serif font. ​Bottom: The base features dark, textured shapes resembling clouds or terrain. White text centered at the bottom credits "WRITTEN and DIRECTED by B. VAN BODEGOM" followed by a four-line synopsis. ​Footer: The bottom line lists three film titles: Corpse Bride × 50 First Dates × Warm Bodies.
Are you a pantser or a plotter?
DAY 5 ACTIVITY: Of all the relationships you've written, which is your favorite and why? (Doesn't have to be a romantic relationship!) Bonus: Who do you feel has been your biggest supporter for your writing and why? #CRPGlasswings
You are dropped into your fantasy world, how long will you survive?
A picture of a lake with foggy mountains has a loch ness monster silhouette graphic on front with the following text: #CRPnessie #CampRevPit Prompt Day 7 (4/26): What's your self-care routine to prevent writer's block or burnout?
hitting the emotional target Suspense and stakes should be present throughout every book,yes, even in romance, including emotional stakes. What is keeping your characters apart?
DAY 7 – THEMATICALLY SPEAKING What's a question your story is trying to answer — not a plot question, but a thematic one? What drew you to that question?
An illustrated fox wearing a green scarf sits in front of a nighttime forest with a moon, stars, and fireflies. The text above the fox reads: #CRPFantasyFoxes DAY 7 PROMPT Discussion Den For the month you were born, go to that number chapter in your book and share an excerpt!
Day 7 – April 26th Writing Prompt What kind of writer are you? Are you a plotter, planning everything out meticulously first? Are you a pantser, coming up with your killer idea and running with it before you have the whole story figured out? Or are you a plantser—a mix of both?
In the background, evergreen trees are covered in fog. The text reads: Canteen Duty: Story Recipes. Day 6: April 25. Every book has its secret recipe. What ingredients did you choose for yours? Are there tropes, social story elements? A way of story telling? Find two other writers and comment on their story ingredients!
Book cover for a novel titled DAD BODIES by B. van Bodegom, featuring the tagline "The game just took a DAD turn." The background depicts a spooky, stylized silhouette of a mansion under a red splatter and a large 20-sided die showing a "1." ​At the bottom, a row of six actors' headshots are featured with names above them: ​Vincent (Matt Bomer) ​Sam (Donald Glover) ​Troy (Dave Franco) ​Hank (Taron Egerton) ​Marv (Kumail Nanjiani) ​Dave (Glen Powell)
A poster for MARK OF THE JESTER, featuring a split image of Caleb Landry Jones
A mock film poster for THE IMMORTICIAN featuring Nicholas Hoult and Jessica Henwick.
A gritty, high-contrast book cover titled "DAD BODIES." The word "DAD" is at the top in large, white, distressed block letters with a texture like peeling paint or cracked concrete. Below it, "BODIES" is written in tall, slender, white sans-serif letters with red shadowing. A white 20-sided die (d20) showing a "1" (a critical fail) is tucked behind the title. The background is a deep, dark red splattered with black and crimson bloodstains. At the bottom, five dark silhouettes of men peek upward, their eyes replaced with small white "X" marks. The tagline "ROLL FOR FUCKERY" is printed in red and white distressed font above the author credit: "A CO(S)MIC HORROR NOVEL BY B. VAN BODEGOM."
Dutch horror writer Paul van Loon
Film poster for the Dutch cult horror film Sint by Dick Maas
This vertical poster for "DAD BODIES" features a high-contrast design on a black background with a white border. ​Top: "WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY B. VAN BODEGOM" is centered at the top in white text. Two laurel wreaths contain the quotes: "Co(s)mic horror at its finest!" and "Friendship! Ball-busting! Tragedy!" ​Center: The large d20 die showing a "1" remains above a red blood splatter. The distressed white "DAD" and red "BODIES" titles are unchanged. A new red underline has been added beneath the word "BODIES." ​Added Hype Text: New white text blocks have been added to the sides. Left side: "BIG 5 INTEREST!". Right side: "OVER 20 REQUESTS!". ​Tagline: The tagline remains: "THE GAME JUST TOOK A DAD TURN." ​Background and Characters: The stylized castle silhouette is still present. The six named characters with their expressions (Vincent, Sam, Troy, Hank, Marv, Dave) have been transformed into realistic photo-cutout heads with their original expressions, replacing the previous cartoon illustrations. ​Footer: The "R RATED" box is centered at the very bottom.
Mockup cover of The Immortician, a horromance. It shows the silhouette of a woman in a dress who's decaying, fragmenting, framed by a gothic arch. Love obsession, decay.
This vertical poster for "DAD BODIES" features a high-contrast design on a black background with a white border. ​Top: "WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY B. VAN BODEGOM" is centered at the top in white text. Two laurel wreaths contain the quotes: "Co(s)mic horror at its finest!" and "Friendship! Ball-busting! Tragedy!" ​Center: The large d20 die showing a "1" remains above a red blood splatter. The distressed white "DAD" and red "BODIES" titles are unchanged. A new red underline has been added beneath the word "BODIES." ​Added Hype Text: New white text blocks have been added to the sides. Left side: "BIG 5 INTEREST!". Right side: "OVER 20 REQUESTS!". ​Tagline: The tagline remains: "THE GAME JUST TOOK A DAD TURN." ​Background and Characters: The stylized castle silhouette is still present. The six named characters with their expressions (Vincent, Sam, Troy, Hank, Marv, Dave) have been transformed into realistic photo-cutout heads with their original expressions, replacing the previous cartoon illustrations. ​Footer: The "R RATED" box is centered at the very bottom.
This vertical poster for "The Immortician" features a black-and-white high-contrast composition with gold-toned typography. ​Top: The title "The Immortician" is written in a serif font with gold gradients, framed by a black ornamental archway. ​Center: A black silhouette of a long-haired figure in a gown stands against a white background. Parts of the silhouette, specifically the head and arms, appear to be disintegrating into small particles. ​Middle: Three words—"Love.", "Obsession.", and "Decay."—are spaced horizontally across the center in a black serif font. ​Bottom: The base features dark, textured shapes resembling clouds or terrain. White text centered at the bottom credits "WRITTEN and DIRECTED by B. VAN BODEGOM" followed by a four-line synopsis. ​Footer: The bottom line lists three film titles: Corpse Bride × 50 First Dates × Warm Bodies.
A vertical poster for "MARK OF THE JESTER" features a split-color design: white on the left with black elements and black on the right with white elements. A thin border frame at the top contains the phrase "A DARK FANTASY." ​The central image consists of a large, stylized jester’s mask split down the middle to match the background. The mask features one hollow eye hole and a wide, grinning mouth colored deep red. Four mirrored rose silhouettes surround the mask. ​The title is rendered in a distressed, hand-drawn font. On the left, a black laurel wreath contains the text, "A most unreliable narrator!" On the right, a white laurel wreath contains the text, "Horror! Madness! Laughs!" ​The bottom left includes an "R" rating box with warnings for violence, sexual content, language, and disturbing images. The bottom right lists "WRITTEN and DIRECTED by B. VAN BODEGOM" above a synopsis regarding a jester and a king.
Movie poster for "Dad Bodies," a dark horror-comedy. A giant blood-splattered d20 die showing a critical fail looms over a gothic mansion. Five panicked middle-aged men stand across the bottom, labeled left to right: Vincent, Sam, Troy, Hank, Marv, and Dave. The tagline reads "The Game Just Took a Dad Turn." Accolades read "Co(s)mic horror at its finest!" and "Friendship! Ball-busting! Tragedy!" Written and directed by B. Van Bodegom. Rated R.
He needed water and shelter. The beach was not safe. Nowhere would be. His hopes for a quick death by the Crown's loyalists were utterly and thoroughly dashed now that he knew where he was. If death came here, it would be slow.
"Always. Worry not, dear Mistress Carnigann. Even the Fool's Moon won't change that." Taking the tulip from Potley with a giggle, she smelled it with closed eyes. The concern never left her face. "Don't say that," she said softly, as if afraid the moon itself was listening. "The Fool's Moon always brings change." She clasped her hands together, the tulip tight in between, and murmured a quick protection prayer. Potley smiled at the sight. Mistress Carnigann was one of the most levelheaded persons he knew, yet she clung to ancient traditions that had been proven to be nonsense. But who was he to judge? He was a bloody fool.
Potley grinned and patted the pouch containing Starch. "We're close now. They'll never see us coming." He giggled at his own joke. The salamander he needed might be sightless, it had other ways to detect danger. And those webbed, padded feet that could sense vibrations in the rock—presumably, anyway—were exactly what he needed for the unique draught he had come up with.
He chuckled. "You jest, right? This is like some messed-up initiation rite, like I've seen the Royal Guards do to their new recruits?" Snickering, the shaman shrugged. "I do not know about your Royal Guards, but if they ingest poison, then yes, it is like that."
The two of them stood staring at the leftover foodstock for a while before Potley spoke up again. "Any ideas about what to do? Are we near any ports? Forageable lands?" Jarrol grumbled and shook his head. "No. But we've been followed by one of Rondolar's pirate hunters for a few days now. Brokering a supply trade with them might be our only option." He shot Potley a grim glance, then raised an eyebrow. "Something wrong?"
An unseen force wrapped around him, exerting gentle pressure. When he opened his eyes, he shifted his gaze down. He smiled at the result. His colorful clothes and shiny bells were as clean as if they had been newly bought.
Ships large and small, military and civilian, merchant and fishing all docked and embarked seemingly without order. Potley knew there was in fact a fine order to the chaos, tuned and pruned by Ebonstone's prodigal Harbor Master Harken Velms. Rumors said the man declined a full expenses paid study position at the Kingdom's finest academy for Magisters.
"Mister Carnigann?" he asked softly. His voice would carry in the sleeping building. The man swiveled his head to face the jester and mumbled a response. "Shneaking off, like you do . . . Jeshter?" Carnigann narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Or perhaps in an attempt to focus. Potley smiled apologetically, his brows pulled down in a sad frown. "Yes, Mister Carnigann. I thought it best if I leave before the kids wake up." "Why? What did you do, man?" Carnigann crossed his arms but uncrossed them just as quick when he swayed in his seat. "I shaw the blood on your clothes . . . It wasn't yours, was it?"
A power-hungry noble might pay handsomely for a Court Jester of his own—or turn one in to curry favor. "You know of him," Harken said. "Not surprising, considering your profession. And it's exactly your profession, Fool, that might uncomplicate your addition to the passenger list."
The half-giant narrowed her enormous emerald green eyes. Despite sitting inside a skull twice the size of his own, Potley's breath hitched at their depth and beauty. "Yes. My duty," she whispered. Potley detected warmth in her tone. His pulse quickened. This wasn't going anywhere near his expectations. Was she trying to lull him into a false sense of security? He'd heard somewhere the best meat came from animals that died without stress.
agents guide for DAD BODIES.
agents guide for DAD BODIES.
RevPit entry confirmation screenshot
Chapter 8 Frank's for the Memories
To their left, gas canisters for the kitchen stoves were stacked into three columns of three canisters each. Wooden shelves with tools and supplies typically stored in a basement lined the walls not occupied by the boiler and its pipes. Boxes with faded labels, assortments of screws, leftover rolls of wallpaper, small stacks of bathroom tiles. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Motioning with his hand for Vincent to wait, Hank pressed himself tight against the wall. He mentally counted the quick steps coming toward him. On three, he swung himself with a stretched arm around the corner. He caught the nun around the neck, flipping her back from the clothesline maneuver. Her head slammed into the floor, neck cracking like a piece of drywood. The rest of her body flopped to the ground, where it stayed, twitching. Hank swerved around and booked it toward Vincent, knowing this wouldn’t stop the nun in her pursuit of them. Fucking hell, how many times would he have to keep doing this?
Potley swung the crown down after flipping the spearheads around. He caught the King in his neck and face. When he let go of Potley's clothes, the Jester used his scepter to beat Rondolar's head further into the spearheaded crown. Bones shattered, tissue ruptured, and one of Rondolar's eyes exploded from the violent impact of one of the speartips being pushed deeper into his skull.
His breathing came heavy and strained. The air felt thick, like porridge, trying to suffocate him. Who had moved all the stuff? There wouldn't have been enough time to clear out everything. It couldn’t possibly have been because he had rolled a one. Could it? He grabbed the granite counter with both hands, the cold stone piercing through the sweat-slicked layer clamming up his palms.
“Hey! Why did you lock it?” He hammered the door with his fist. No reply. Maybe the wood was too thick. Like most of his friends' skulls. Shrugging, he picked up Sam’s suitcase again and made his way back downstairs. Whoever went into the library would probably exit downstairs, anyway.
Bones cracked and grew or shortened. Face contorting, jaw dislocating and snapping back in place, all accompanied by the gut-wrenching wails of Frank, which now and then got interrupted when his insides were regurgitated—stomach, a lung, his heart. Troy had assumed they were too different from Frank's, but he was too busy throwing up and cradling himself to pursue the question. This had gone on for hours, and Troy did not sleep that night. Frank, after he had become Frank again, had stayed passed out until noon.
Walking to the door to the library, he went over the list Frank gave him. Dice, a saw, and a body. Sounded like it will be quite the unhealthy detachment.
"You know," he started, "one thing's been bugging me." "Only one thing?" "Well, no, but I can't shake this thing in particular." Frank narrowed his eyes, slightly cocking his head. "It's the dice. Who they work for. And when." "You mean during Munchy's game?" Frank shifted in place. "What if his game never stopped, even as we played ours?" Troy stuck a hand in his kangaroo pocket and retrieved his lucky d20, holding it between them in the palm of his hand.
Book cover for "Mark of the Jester" by B. van Bodegom (author of Dad Bodies). Dark fantasy novel. Features a split jester mask in black and white halves with a red smile on the white half. 'The' runs vertically down the center, with decorative silhouettes of roses framing the mask. High-contrast graphic design in black, white, and red.