Captain Awkward

@captainawkward.bsky.social

15783 Followers 1932 Following

Advice blogger, soon-to-be-author. You may remember me as CAwkward on that other site, but I have reclaimed my full title and powers! Here to make new internets to push the bad internets down.

Brightly colored flowers in a yellow vase.
The cutest black and white kitty
Flier for a community block party
Henrietta (a brown tabby) licking a Churu with a squinched up face.
An art deco ring with a gorgeous red ruby modeled on a human hand.
Miles O’Brien (Colm Meaney) looks appalled with text “Stares in ah Jayus”
To-Go container with “Thank you! Dima Magrib” written on it.
A homemade Christmas ornament that says “Merry Christmas to all, except Mitch McConnell.”
A text exchange: Me: “Does everything fit ok?” Dad: “Yes and they hide my ponch.”
A Maps public transit route from Chicago to Georgetown. Apparently I can take the red line to the brown line to the Amtrak to a Greyhound to a local rail to a city bus and be there in 17 hours and 41 minutes.
Screencap of my most recent BSky post with she & her pronouns circled.
Close-up of displeased lady biting her tongue before she says something rude.
A green-eyed brown striped tabby named Daniel Jason Mendoza Striped Tiger, a certified weirdo
Yellow & black graphic portrait of the amazing kid who punched a Nazi pro-ICE troll at his high school what feels like 5 years ago instead of 5 months.
Screenshot indicating an annoying BSky reply guy was already blocked by the “Users who have used the R word” list and I swear to god if someone replies with “What, Republican?” you’ll catch a block so hard your grandparents will feel it too.
Selfie with green beret & scarf
A way too close shot of Daniel Jason Mendoza Striped Tiger, a tan & gray mackerel tabby cat. *BOOP*
Fire Roasted Green Salsa
Tiny Monstera buddy
Meme of the high school Nazi-punching hero on a yellow background with the word “okay”
A brown tabby cat (Henrietta) attacking an orange Churu like it owes her money and making a fierce squinched up face.
Furious tabby cat with her head poking out of her carrier.
A brown tabby cat without a single thought lounges on a green chair
Tabby cat perched on a green dining rm chair.
A dim, dim, dim brown tabby cat perched on a chair looking for a nonexistent bug or bird
A cuddly kitten with his whole body wrapped around a human hand while fast asleep
Brown striped tabby cat holding my (human) hand with his paws.
A Daniel-cat-loaf in his carrier
Henrietta (a brown striped tabby) poking up out of the carrier at the vet
Tabby cat in a carrier
Sean Bean as Boromir saying “Perhaps we could give the ring better training.”
Overhead shot panning over grocery bags. Counting the Iced Mocha cartons in our grocery order
Breakfast portrait of my spouse, a handsome beardy guy.
Caldo verde with linguiça, potato, onion, and kale
Amber from Love Is Blind season 10 saying “Like, most men will, like, put their dick in a chicken sandwich.”
Love is Blind watching selfie of trepidation
Extreme close-up of a brown tabby cat giving the Look of Love
A 3 panel comic where in the first panel, a cartoon genie explains that there are three rules for wishes: 1 no wishing for death 2 no falling in love 3 no raising the dead. In panel 2 the wisher says “I want Reeses cups to moan when I take their little panties off” cut to Panel 3 of our genie saying “There are four rules.”
Looking up from under a maple tree in full fall crimson
A carved stone sculpture of Madonna & child housed in the Medieval room of the Worcester Art Museum.
A handmade Christmas ornament cross-stitched to say “Merry Christmas To All except Mitch McConnell 2020”
Close-up of a tabby cat named Daniel Jason Mendoza Striped Tiger who is giving the Soft Green Eyes Of Adoration.
Boromir at the Council of Elrond meme with text: “Perhaps we could give the ring more training.”
Intense stare from a brown striped tabby licking a Churu.
Counting the iced mochas in my grocery order
Counting the iced mochas in my Aldi order
A tabby cat who is not mad, just disappointed
A beat-up white pickup truck with plywood panels rigged on both sides of the truck-bed and the word “METAL” spray-painted across.The Metal Man’s scrap collection vehicle is parallel-parked on a city street and there are large brick apartment buildings in the background.
A birthday cake with white frosting and “Happy 80th Birthday Mom” in red writing next to a bouquet of pink roses.
My dad’s VHS collection (partial). Just imagine “What are the most Dad movies a Dad could Dad?” and you’ll have the right of it.
A tabby cat & her piteous wails
Action shot of a brown striped tabby cat stepping on a cat tree. Her tongue is partially out.
Close-up of Henrietta (a brown tabby cat who is made of eyes) riiiiiight when the catnip hits
Selfie with the Byers special. This haircut will be cute soon but isn’t yet.
A brown tabby cat known as Daniel Jason Mendoza Striped Tiger demolishes a Churu in a closeup
Cover of The Bean Book by Steve Sando. It’s got an array of colorful beans scattered across a gray stone-like surface.
A forlorn tabby cat who is filled with ennui
Irked tabby cat looking over his shoulder.
Cover for the essay collection Nothing Compares To You: What Sinéad O’Connor Means To Us
A brown striped tabby cat with green eyes on a green kitchen chair.