The Chaser

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Striking teachers tell Victorian Government, “it’s your own time you’re wasting”
Images of Gina Rinehart, Barnaby Joyce, Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts. Chaser satirical headline: Gina realises she forgot to buy any ‘not totally fucking deranged’ candidates
Johnny Depp’s dogs call for Barnaby Joyce to be euthanised
A fire-warning style scale that says 'Completely ignore', 'Acknowledge need for conversations', 'Conversations + Government action', 'Early signs of change', 'reassess + tweak approaches', 'widespread change' with an arrow pointing at 'Acknowledge need for conversations' Chaser headline: Nation somehow still fucking at ‘we need to start a conversation’ stage of combatting gendered violence
Trump calls NRL demanding NSW win be overturned
Aussie who can’t name his local mp, heavily invested in wanting Binface to beat Farage
Chaser satirical headline: FIFA moves World Cup final to Epstein Island following call from Trump
Trump launches full scale invasion of Belgium
Chaser satirical headline: Penalty shootout paused after Egyptian player takes a dive
Image of the Socceroos logo next to the Egyptian FA logo. Chaser headline: Mood for entire weekend to be decided by 6am Saturday
Chaser Satirical Headline: Playstation announces controllers will now be single use only
Aussie leftist disappointed after social media wasn’t bad enough to be blocked entry to US
Image of Australia going nil-nil against Paraguay. Chaser headline - Report: Fuck yeah we absolutely take those!
Image of Trump next to the logo for the Community Strong Australia party. Chaser satirical headline: Trump excited to hear Australia has a new 'CSA Party'
Image of Karl Stefanovic. Chaser headline: Nation braces for world’s most annoying ‘I’ve been cancelled’ tour
Chaser satirical headline: Karl Stefanovic interviews ghost of Jeffrey Epstein Image: Photoshopped image of Karl Stefanovic interviewing a ghostly image of Jeffery Epstein.
UK told to not give next Prime Minister a name as to not get attached before they resign
PM urges Socceroos to score as many own goals against America as possible
Photoshopped image of scientists taking notes while Dave Hughes talks. Chaser satirical headline: Scientists warn of effect that being a landlord has on human brain
Trump vows to end three more wars he hasn't started yet
Chaser satirical headline: One Nation to invest $3b in innovation for new slurs
Chaser Satirical Headline: Pope tells followers to say three Hail Marys when throwing Molotovs at AI data centres
Image of Barnaby Joyce talking at an anti-abortion rally. Chaser satirical headline: “Every aborted foetus is a potential future intern I could hit on” says Barnaby Joyce
AUKUS submarines downgraded to paper boats
Images of Zali Steggall and Allegra Spender. Chaser headline: Teals to represent voters who are sick of political parties by forming a political party
Image of the FIFA World Cup trophy next to an image of Senator Sarah Henderson. Chaser satirical headline: Liberal Party to defund SBS if Israel loses FIFA World Cup
One Nation to only talk to outlets that don’t mention if candidates have active warrants
Liberals bring back Abbott in bid to make Angus Taylor look better by comparison
Please spare a thought for the struggling venture capitalists
Image of the hosts of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here next to an image of a man in a suit sitting down with his hands around his head. Chaser headline: Animal penis salesman files for bankruptcy following axing of I'm a Celebrity
Photoshopped image of Penny Wong on a computer next to an image of Benjamin Netanyahu. Chaser headline: Wong takes strong stance on Israel abusing Aussies by not including a ‘hope you’re well’ in latest email
Image of Anthony Albanese DJing next to images of Christie Hayes, Grace Tame and Senator Fatima Payman. Chaser Headline - ‘Typical’: local DJ gets weirdly mad whenever women question him
Image of Angus Taylor. Chaser headline: "Migrants must share our Aussies values" says party whose values Aussies keep voting against
Meet the 6-month-old multimillionaire who will be hit hardest by this budget
News Corp claims fish & chip shop charging for sauce packets is a ‘death tax’
Melania reassures Donald that plenty of guys can't get their tower up
A poster for The Chaser Report Live and Arty with an image of Dom Knight sitting next to Charles Firth. Text: Live podcast in an art gallery. Sun 24th May 6PM-8PM. The Soda Factory, Surry Hills. $20.
Jim Chalmers talking in the House of Representatives
Landlord says he will raise rent if policies change, as opposed to his current plan to raise rent for no reason
Australia I have a proposal, Right now politicians, their staffers, the Canberra press pack and social media content creators are all in Parliament House for the 'budget lock-up' without access to their phones or internet. So a nice time to take a breath. Enjoy this peaceful few hours. Feel the calm as the stress headache inducing people are all currently giving each other stress headaches instead of us. My question is, what if we just put a padlock on the doors? Why must we open Pandora's box and let the evils out, into our streets and our social media feeds.
Canberra’s cocaine dealers pull all-nighter in preparation for tomorrow’s budget lock-up
Image of Gina Rinehart next to a photoshopped image of Barnaby Joyce smiling while reading a blurred out magazine while large blurred out stacks of magazines behind him. Chaser satirical headline: Gina gifts Barnaby a $1.5m Hentai collection
Chaser headline: RFK Jr announces plan to put cocaine back into Coca-Cola
Photoshopped image of a man in a wheelchair outside Adelaide Airport staring at 3 flaming hoops. Chaser headline: Adelaide Airport installs literal hoops to jump through in order to use wheelchair pickup
Pauline says she represents ‘everyday Aussies’ who are career politicians getting gifted a fucking plane from a billionaire
PM urges voters to be ‘realistic’ with demands, “increasing tax on our party donors isn’t feasible”
Albanese tells child to hand over wheelchair so it can be melted down for weapons parts
Apple announces new CEO, deliberately slows down old one
Image of Donald Trump. Headline: Aussies miss when morning routine didn’t involve finding out whatever the fuck this cunt did today
Trump and Vatican make up after discovering mutual love of child predators
Trump claims image of him on a cross was just him doing the HOT TO GO! dance
World to continue trying to ‘gentle parent’ Israel into not massacring civilians
To whom it may deeply concern, The (term for ‘thing that happened’ that is vague and doesn’t sound too bad) that has been seen in (location) recently has been (adjective) concerning. Australia once again maintains our position that (word that means ‘violence’ but in a term that doesn’t sound as scary) should not continue for too much longer. This tragic (word that makes it sound like a natural disaster) was concerning and as such we are calling for (thing that sounds like action but isn’t). We are also disturbed by (insert claim that has already been proven false to both-sides the blame for the deaths of civilians) and hope that a solution can be found to (Israel’s excuse here) without Israel crossing any (colour of line that Israel is allowed to cross) lines. Yours in (word to help pretend like you actually care about any of the people in danger), (Insert politician name here)
7News reports that Ben Roberts-Smith has been arrested on multiple counts of being too much of a handsome legend
Trump vows to end Iran War as soon as he thinks of a new, more exciting war
Unprofessional: Keir Starmer yaps on for way longer than 3 minutes
Image of Albanese giving the national address with the text: Breaking - National Address could have been an email. Chaser headline: STOP THE PRESSES! Man has nothing to announce
Photoshopped image of Anthony Albanese holding a press conference with Harold Holt. Chaser headline - National Address: Albanese announces Harold Holt’s return to Prime Minister position
QLD Police patrol Karaoke bars to crack down on illegal John Farnham songs