Chaz Hutton

@chazhutton.com

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Professional idiot. The guy who draws instagram.com/instachaaz Shop here: instachaaz.shop

A lovely little illustration of Frau Pilz, which in English translates to ‘Mrs Mushroom’ because that’s what the kiosk looks like. They’re open every day in the summer from 12pm to 9pm and serve up Bratwurst, fries and an incredible Currywurst with a pineapple sauce - it sounds terrible but let me tell you: IT WORKS. Also, say hi to Peter and his dog Filou for me.
Me holding up a big long poster called Everyone at the Dinner Party
So we’ve got a top-down view diagrammatic drawing of the breeze arc of an occulting fan, the bit that the fan is blowing on is blue, while the non-blowing area is a kinda muted coral colour, AKA light orange. Anyway, the section with the blue has the words “Oh fuck yeah! This fan is AMAZING. Oh wait…” and from there an arrow leads you to the thoughts for the non-blowing area, where the words continue with “…Oh OKAY, Fuck you fan! How dare you leave me like this in such an entirely predictable manner you BASTARD, oh hold on…” and then an arrow leads you from here back to the first bit of text, and so the process repeats itself ad infinitum or until the fan breaks and/or the heatwave ends.
We’ve got a comic here, which begins with a news headline titled “Europe Currently Sweltering Through Increased Levels of Slightly Annoying Australians” and below that are two figures. The first is saying ‘Fuck it’s so hot’ while the other character (who is drawn as a cliched 80’s Australian with the cord string hat, work boots and a beer) is saying ‘Oh Mate this is nothing, back in Aus…” - This guy is then interrupted by the first guy going ‘Uuuurgh’.
Iconic still of the bandaged up armed traffic warden from the film Threads, standing in front of a city in the midst of a post apocalyptic firestorm.
Photo of yours truly rocking a hastily ordered Aussie shirt because I’m basically the only Aussie in the village here and I’m getting fully into it. Bring it the fuck on!
We have a cartoon with three mugs called ‘Mug Choices” - on it is three mugs, on the left is an excellent mug, plenty of capacity, thin rim, good handle. And that one is titled ‘Yes’ Next mug has a thicker rim, a smaller more difficult handle, less capacity, and that one it titled ‘okay” Then the last mug is one of those horrible curved top-heavy mugs with a tiny base and a thick rim and a terrible handle you can’t get your fingers through and that one it titled “fuck no” because seriously, fuck those mugs. I mean sure, you’ll always get a good cuppaccino in one, but that doesn’t justify their existence.
A book called 'Brick: A Social History' by Carolyne Haynes
So we’ve got a little illustration I’ve drawn of a daily newspaper but it’s a headline saying “For Fuck’s Sake What Now?!” With a little picture of a Trump looking figure under the headline, embedded in an extensive article covering the latest unhinged bullshit.
A shot of the core stage separation for Artemis II take from the inside the rocket looking out.
Ok - so, we’ve got a cartoon of a very long table full of people titled “Everyone at the Dinner Party” Each person has a little annotation and an arrow pointing to them, while they generally do the thing that’s written about them - any extra visuals I’ll add in parentheses. Ok - let’s go! The Friend pretending to know about wine because they went to a wine tasting once. The Friend who IS going to show you a picture of their dog. (Standing, with a carton of beer over their head is) The Friend who thought this was a house party and arrived at midnight. The Friend who nobody really wanted to come but it would be weird if they weren’t invited. (This person has two glasses of wine) The really shit fork that nobody wants (This is the only fork on the table with three prongs) The Friend who will tell you the best way to roast potatoes while eating your potatoes (This person is saying “Bla Bla Bla Duck Fat…”) The Smokers who everyone pretends to be disgusted by but is secretly jealous of their ability to regularly extricate themselves. (The arrows here are pointing to two empty seats)
I’ve drawn a newspaper, and it’s called ‘The Daily News’ and the headline says “ For Fuck’s Sake, What Now?!’ and there’s an article below it with a picture of a guy in a big red tie and shit hair. Actually a pretty good drawing of a newspaper to be honest, really happy with it. Its got an imperceptible beige to it and I even did some nice shadows and everything. Nailed it.
Just a puppy getting a belly scratch, tounge out, upside down, being a wonderful idiot.
In this comic we have have a figure watching the Olympic downhill skiing on tv while drinking a beer, and they’re proclaiming with indignation that “Pfft, this was so much more dangerous back in my day” and they’d be right, because it turns out they’re the abominable snowman from the 1991 computer game Skifree, who had now obviously retired.
So this is a comic version of the post it’s quoting: The Winter Olympics Sports progression: Turn on TV: 1. Never heard of this sport 2. Quite like this sport 3. I think I’d be quite good at this… 4. Yeah this guy is making some classic mistakes on this run… 5. I am now pretty much an expert at this sport. Time elapsed: 6 minutes.
The new six nations logo which is now shortened ti M6N and has a design that makes it look like an Aussie radio station that’s playing the best of the 80’s, 90’s, and Today!
Front cover of the Sandpoint Reader showing a door in a brick wall
So, we’ve got a three-panel comic here, with two people on each panel. The first panel is in the 2000’s (You can tell because I’ve written ‘2000’s’ below it), and one person is holding a vinyl record and talking to the other person who’s listening to an ipod and the record person is saying, “Yeah, but this sounds so much better” In the next panel, this time in the 2010’s (Can you believe 2010 is like 15 years ago now? That’s mad) - anyway is this one there’s a person holding a stack of books and they;re talking to someone reading off a tablet, and they’re saying “...and you can’t beat a real book…” - Yep, that’s right, there’s a pattern emerging here! Just wait till you see where this goes! So, Panel 3 and we’ve caught up to the 2020’s - waheeey! This time there’s a person using AI on a laptop, and the other person is holding up an entire human being and they’re saying “OH Yeah? Ever used a Real Artist?” and the artist is all like “hey” Anyway. If you can, hire a human to create stuff. Cheers.
So we’ve got a three-panel comic here and in each panel there's a person and their dog, which I’ll be honest, I’ve done a great job of drawing. Anyway, each panel looks almost identical, Person and Dog every time, but in the first one the dog has quite a bit of hair. In the second panel, the dog has less hair and there’s now a bit of hair on the person, and by the third panel, there’s very little hair on the dog and the person is now totally covered in hair. Also the dog is slightly smiling to itself in the last panel. It’s subtle though. Anyone not reading this alt text would probably miss it, so enjoy that.
So we’ve got a two panel comic here. On the top panel is a dog doing a poo. It’s got that embarrassed look they always have when they’re doing a poo, like it’s the most undignified experience of their life. Then in the next panel, the same dog is now being given a parade for doing that poo. People line the streets and cheer on the dog as it rides past everyone in a open top car, waving at all the fans who are all super excited about getting to see a dog that did such a good poo. My god, having now written all this down I’m not quite sure it’s as hilarious as a thought it was. Ah well. Good poo Chaz.
Ok so… there is an 8x8 piece jigsaw puzzle, it’s all yellow, and there’s some text written on it. There’s two pieces of the puzzle missing, so that whatever is written is missing two letters. Those missing letters will be a dash in the following transcription: The jigsaw slogan reads: I’m no_ gonna do that thing I’ve got to do _hen I can have fun. Below this jigsaw are the two missing pieces, one a W and the other a T. This means the slogan, depending on where you put the missing pieces can read one of two ways: Either: I’m now going to do that thing I’ve got to do then I can have fun. Or… I’m not going to do that thing I’ve got to do when I can have fun.
So we’ve got a little stick figure comic here, which is titled ‘Today’s Choices’ and in the first half, your option is “Talk to these people” and our protagonist (that’s probably you) is confronted with the usual group of water-cooler-dwelling guys up for a chat, and they’re variously all saying stuff like “How was your Christmas” and “God New Years Eve?” and “How was your break?” and “Did you get away” and of course the guy holding a smoothie asking if you ‘Feel Refreshed?!” In the second half, your option here is “...or discover all the work ‘2025-You’ decided was your problem” and there’s you, the protagonist, sitting at your laptop and saying to yourself, “Actually, might go chat to the guys”
What we have here, at first glance, is a calendar showing the months of December and January - in a standard week-per-line calendar format. The days methodically roll on from one to the next, week by week, working their way down to the end of December, at which point things get weird. As soon as Christmas has come and gone, the chronology of the days begin to detach from each other, the dates of each day gradually morph into confusion and lose all semblance of order and meaning until the entire last week of December is a surreal, vague and swirling mess of confusion. Out of this haze of uncertainty appears the one solidly identifiable day: “New Years Eve”, and then after it floats by, and the new years day hangover gradually subsides, the first week of January slowly and miraculously starts to reassemble itself like a decomposing animal in reverse. By the 5th of January, life is back to normal, you’re back at work, and you regretfully know exactly what day it is.
So what we’ve got here is essentially a four image comic, showing a step-by-step process for how to wrap a present. Step 1, the wrapping paper is rolled out with enough to cater for the cardboard box it’s going to wrap up. In Step 2, it’s wrapped all the way over and some ape holds it into place. Step 3, the ends are beginning to be expertly folded very neatly. However, Step 4 reveals the end product which is a complete mess, multiple tears, uneven folds, and at least 7 or 8 different bits of tape all desperately trying to hold it together.
Zig and I looking pretty bloody good! Sitting on a pub bench together doing some great posing. I’m well aware Zig is the most focused and photogenic when her fav owner is taking the photo, but that’s ok. At the end of the day, we’re both two hairy individuals in love with the same photographer.
A beautiful little pup curled up asleep, utterly exhausted after her first day in a new home.
Photo of me and a very beautiful lovely kind hearted pup, both slightly concerned about each other.
So I’ve drawn a little picture of me next to a sign that says ‘Shop is Open (for now)’ - and I’m throwing what appears to be prints and artworks around, which is terrible behaviour for a guy trying to sell artworks but hey, it looks a lot more dynamic and fun drawn like that. Also there shop address is men to once at the bottom: Instachaaz.shop
So we’ve got a big 6-panel comic here! Let’s dig in. The comic is titled ‘How to Tell if You Lost or Gained an Hour’ In the first drawing, we have the words “This is the Hour Hand” and below it is an anthropomorphic hour hand waving and saying ‘sup losers’ Next panel says “If the clocks go forward, it eats up that hour” and now our Hour character is chasing after an hour-sized wedge of a clock, screaming ‘Come Here!” while the hour goes, “AHH!” Next panel goes “But if clocks go back, it also eats that hour…” and now the hour hand is eating another house screaming ‘AAH HA HA’ while that hour runs away saying ‘Not again!’ Next panel points out that ‘In short, the hour hand is a real dick’ and theres a drawing of the hour hand smoking a cig, giving the finger and saying ‘Fuck You’ - Panel five continues the narration with “...and nobody knows what happened to the hour” and below this, there’s a policeman with a sniffer dog looking for a shallow grave in the woods. Our last panel begins “...But someone will try and explain it to you…” Below this we have one of those annoying people saying “So in Spring, the clocks spring…” but their words mean nothing because they’re talking to a grieving anthropomorphic clock, who’s missing that hour, shown by a missing wedge in their face and they’re saying “That will not bring my baby back!” Anyway, I’m really sorry if you were actually hoping to find out if we gained or lost an hour here.
So we’ve got a little stick-figure cartoon here and there’s two people sitting at a table enjoying a beer, while two other people approach them, one of them looking pretty threatening and cracking his knuckles. The guy he’s with starts talking to the people at the table “Real nice place you like hanging out in here…” he begins, “would be a real shame if it were to become an unusable, horrible place full of spam and slop…” This threat is immediately confusing to the people at the table, one of whom replies “Wait what? Isn’t this YOUR place?”
A little cartoon drawing of Piet Mondrian about to enjoy a Bento box. He’s also saying ‘ooooh!’ because obviously he’s a fan.
Photo is of the picture round, showing a list of country outlined. I got 19 out of 20, got stumped on one of them, and I know know Mongolia looks like an upside down Switzerland.
The image here is a comic I drew putting myself out there on the hunt for some work! On the left is a slightly disheveled version of me holding a big yellow sign saying “Hey Friends” and then on the right I’ve written the following: “Hey All, I’m currently on the hunt for new work (projects, commissions, adverts, etc) Head on over to Chazhutton.com to see a portfolio and get in touch if you’d like to work together” Then in slightly smaller font I’ve written “oh and I would love if you could share this! Thanks Again!”
So what we’ve got here is a little cartoon of Jackson Pollock doing one of his drip paintings with the canvas laid out on the floor and surrounded by tins of paint and paintbrushes and art stuff. JP, with cigarette in mouth, is poised over the canvas ready to start, but has dropped his paint tin which is now pouring blue paint onto his canvas in a perfectly square shape.
We’ve got a little stick figure comic here. In the first panel is ostensibly a scene from Hamlet, where Hamlet hold up a skull, proclaiming “Alas! Poor Yorick, I knew him…” - while this is going on a man, possibly Horatio if I’m honest, is talking into an earpiece saying “you guys gettin’ this?” Cut to: Panel 2! Now we’re inside a surveillance van with a detective at a computer showing the scene from before and responding with “Confirmed, Suspect knew the victim” meanwhile another detective stands watching while saying “wait, he’s got the guy’s skull?!” Anyway, I don’t know what happens in the rest of Hamlet but presumably they take him in for questioning.
The comic shows someone being interviewed at a protest while wearing a flag as a cape and holding a sign saying ‘Get Out’, their speech bubble reads: Nah mate, we’re not racist, we’re just “prejudiced against or antagonistic towards people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized” The quoted part of what they’re saying is written in italics.
GIF of Withnail and I accosting the farmer.
Ok so we’ve got a comic here, and it’s a scene outside the local Athens Ship Repairs shop and we can see a ship having a piece replaced, but inside the shop behind a ‘no entry’ sign you can see a second ship being built with the parts from the first ship. Anyway, in the foreground you have a ship mechanic explaining to Theseus “Mate, yeah looks like we’re gonna have to replace a few parts but don’t worry, it’ll be as ‘good as new’ in no time” And Theseus, in his cool hat is all like “AGAIN?!”
Ok so, what we’ve got here is a design proposal for a public bench titled “Multipurpose Anti-Fascist Street Furniture” and there’s three images: 1 of 3D drawing of the bench, and then two 2D elevation views of the bench in its different arrangements. The bench is coloured in a kind of reddish orange, and the bench has multiple spikes installed under the seating area, all facing towards the ground, while the back of the seat has a high backed structure. The first 2D drawing shows the bench in a normal seated arrangement, with two people on it reading books. The title under this is “Seating Mode, Good for reading banned books” The next 2D drawing, the bench is positioned on its end, with the high backed structure now becoming a stand for it, where it has now become a barricade, where two protesters are manning it on one side while a militarised riot policeman is attempting to attack it. The large backing design ensures that when positioned on their ends, the tipping point remains on the protester side, so that the defensive structure can not simply be pushed over. Meanwhile, protesters applying weight on the same element stop the barricade from being pulled forward. Holes along the bench surface serve to drain water during wet weather, or while in barricade mode, become a kind of medieval arrow slit. Latches and corresponding holes on each edge of the bench work together to clip multiple benches into place. These same holes and the backing elements also provide hand holds in order to move the benches, which are deliberately heavy for two reasons: 1: As an effective and immovable barricade element, and 2: Any moving and repurposing requires the teamwork of multiple people with a common goal.
The form of this whale is defining the monumentally large metal curves of a Richard Serra installation. If you’ve ever found yourself inside one of these fuckers like our little man is here, you too would be looking around going ‘wow…’ and that wow would travel around that rusted steel monoliths and jump right back at you; talking back to you with the same awe and wonderment you expressed so briefly before. This is an artist whose work has at one point literally killed someone, and so you’d be wise to escape this artwork if only you could find a way out.
I’ve drawn a newspaper, and it’s called ‘The Daily News’ and the headline says “ For Fuck’s Sake, What Now?!’ and there’s an article below it with a picture of a guy in a big red tie and shit hair. Actually a pretty good drawing of a newspaper to be honest, really happy with it. Its got an imperceptible beige to it and I even did some nice shadows and everything. Nailed it.
The first horrible drawing here is titled ‘Armchair’ and is a drawing of an armchair, except instead of your traditional chair materials like timber and metal, I’ve made this chair out of literal arms, all bent at the elbows and desperately clutching onto each other in a disgusting chair-shaped arm-orgy. My favourite bit is the legs, which are all the hand ends of the arms and are kind of clutching onto the ground. To be honest, it looks pretty stable.
A lovely little street name sign for ‘Meadow Lane’ underneath this title in slightly smaller writing reads: LEADING TO NO SUCH MEADOW followed by NO THROỰGH ROAD On closer inspection, it clearly used to read ‘nonsuch’ but someone has rubbed out the second N to bring the language up to a more modern standard.
This is a whale inside a tent. That’s right, it’s a very clever play of words. Look at me go. Could also be ‘Camp Whale’ which is arguably funnier. Actually, the seminal essay ‘Notes on Camp’ by Susan Sontag potentially applies quite well to this entire series of drawings. Anyway, more whales to come!
Photo of Christopher Wren inspecting an expertly made wren lido which includes an entry and exit ramp peppered with food we really hope is to their taste. Credit must go to our cat goose for locating the fledglings but not having the bravery or killer instinct to do anything other than stare at them and pretend not to panic.
Picture of the tower with my finger giving it a little poke.
Ok so we have a subterranean space where there is little pigeon hole’esque holes in the walls, and it’s almost like the name for pigeon holes came from this exact thing but probably not because I can’t see a letter sitting comfortably in these holes carved out of rock. Actually, the rock is super interesting - essentially it’s compacted ash after a volcanic eruption, and as such, surprisingly easy to hack away at and build your own cave which is what the local Etruscan’s did before the fuckin Romans arrived and fucked it all up. Anyway, pigeons!
My girlfriend and I were eating at a restaurant and I said to her “what’s this? A bay tree?” And she said, “no, it’s a laurel bush darling” so I got up and did this pose and said “hey, look at me, resting on my laurels” - anyway, it’s a fucking miracle I have a girlfriend that not only puts up with this but is also willing to take a photo of it so I can do the joke again on Bluesky.
So, here we have a four-panel comic, titled ‘How To Do a LinkedIn Post’ - First panel says ‘Step 1: Take an entirely unremarkable thing… - Then the drawing shows a person looking at a rather large copy of ‘Goldilocks and The Three Bears’ and thinking ‘hmmm’ In the next panel, we have Step 2, which is “Make it all about your specific industry” - here, our person is now furiously writing down the following on their laptop: “...the Moral of the story is the failure of the bear’s UX to efficiently facilitate unintended users…” On to Step 3 and the title here is “...tag absolutely anyone vaguely involved” - Here our person is diligently listing the following “Credit to Robert Southey for his work on this, also to my prep teacher Mrs Sharrad, Also a shout out to any bowl focused ceramicists, The Bear Conservation Fund and the following Oats Brands….” In the last panel, we have Step 4, which advises to “Post! Then bask in the indescribable joy of being ‘popular on LinkedIn’ - here our person is now kicking back, feet on the table, and thinking ‘ooh, what a rush’ A few things: Yes, Robert Southey wrote the three bears, and didn’t actually write it that long ago! Also yes, Mrs Sharrad was my actual prep teacher, (Actually, she was twice because they held me back a year because my stick figures weren’t up to scratch back then)
So we’re got a four panel comic here with a couple laying on their couch in each image. In the first image the couple has clearly been laying there for a while, both scrolling on their phones, using the fact they both had a long day at work as justification for a bit of mindless scrolling time. In the second image, they’ve come to the realisation that they’ve been watching complete nonsense on reels for way too long so decide to turn the tv on and actually watch something properly. Maybe even a documentary as a sort of antidote to the last hour and a half of scrolling. In the third panel they’re both enjoying watching the tv, their phones now finally cast aside… In the fourth panel however, they’re back to looking at their phones while also convincing themselves they’re still paying attention to whatever David Attenborough is saying on the tv.
One should never paint a flamingo in June meaning • Al Overview The saying "One should never paint a flamingo in June" refers to Frederic Leighton's famous painting "Flaming June". The title "Flaming June" has a playful association with the image of a flamingo, which is why it is used as a sort of "code" in the phrase. The phrase likely originated as a joke within the art world. a Here's why: "Flaming June" by Frederic Leighton: This is a well-known painting, and it is often joked that "one should never paint a…
A quick google image search of “Schornsteinfeger” showing the sweeps wearing their traditional top hats and double breasted jackets with rows of buttons. Really cool.
A little yellow notice informing residents that the “Schornsteinfeger” are coming to check the chimneys and gas and stuff. There’s a cartoon drawing on them in their traditional attire, which looks wonderfully emo.
The photo shows the sheet we need to fill out (who was it, scores, suggestions, etc) and under the heading (do you have any other suggestions for the concept) - I’ve drawn a crude sketch of an ‘Australian Sausage-in-bread’ which is annotated with ‘cheap supermarket sliced bread’ and ‘long cheap bratwurst’ and ‘tomato sauce’ and have also added the suggestion that they Google ‘Bunnings Snag’ - a German friend read this and asked why I spelled ‘snack’ with a G, which is a fair question.
So at first glance this ‘whale’ looks like a painting by one of the De Stijl artists, and by ‘one of’ I obviously mean Mondrian because nobody ever remembers the rest of the amazing gang in that seminal Dutch modernist movement that together so effortlessly made colourful squares and black lines cooler than they had any right to be. One that really inspired this particular whale drawing is the excellent Theo van Doesburg, (founding member of the movement) who in 1917 drew a series of abstractions of a cow (The whale of the land if you will..) - these series of sketches and paintings took a realistic sketch of a cow and gradually abstracted it into a series of blocks and lines, with the end result being a very confused cow who was presumably quite disappointed by the fact her portrait now resembled something closer to a cow shaped barn.
Ok so this whale is your classic dot-to-dot game where you draw a line from number to number to create an image. For anyone born after 1995, this is what children used to do for fun. It’s a wild experience! An apparently nonsensical matrix of dots suddenly comes together to create an image! Youth of the day that participated in this ritual discovered that the seemingly random was in fact something, provided you methodically followed the system. Anyone who couldn’t understand this was always going to be prone to believing that all these dots and numbers had something to do with a government led conspiracy and are now subsequently insufferable at dinner parties.
This whale is a just the normal whale, but its flipper is slightly curling up - insinuating that it’s falling through a thing that it’s recently decided to call ‘air’ and right next to it is a pot of petunias which, along with our whale have suddenly come into existence several miles above a planet. This entire situation will be much appreciated by fans of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and utterly confusing for both anyone who isn’t and also the rapidly descending whale which is quickly reaching terminal velocity. The pot of petunias on the other hand has been here before.