Cheney Meaghan

@cheney.me

405 Followers 265 Following

#journaling | #writing | #poetry | #vss365 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ 🇺🇦 #FUCKTRUMP & #EATTHERICH https://cheney.me Senior Wrangler & Robin Hooder by day | Telling myself #thisisfine by night.

Picture of water at very low tide
i put you on a podium, celebrated your investiture, wore your crown of thorns and bled down my face, my tears red, soul dead, i kept wanting this so long after you didn't that i missed when you started slipping away and by the time i knew i was losing you it was too late and what's worse than too late? Copyright 2026 Cheney Meaghan Giordano
we’re leaving a lot on the table, you know. there were so many things i wanted to experience with you, so many places i never got a chance to take and show to you, so many memories that won’t be made. i don’t want to listen anymore to you telling me you don’t want this i’ve heard it quite enough, thanks and you’ll hear it from me in letters i’ll probably never send because i don’t want to hurt you as much as you hurt me with the words that were supposed to
i used to hold on to you like you were my life raft, like you were the only thing keeping me afloat when all i wanted was to sink but i couldn’t count on you being there when things got rough, i couldn’t trust that in you, i’d find safety because i never felt safe with you i thought it was sand that slipped through the hourglass but now i feel it’s more like water, cold and powerful and sacred until the moment it pours from your hands
freedom is nice the ability to do what i want when i want to, without having to confer, consider, compromise or quarrel i like being alone to choose what i eat and watch and read, i like to do things on my own terms but then i think of your hands and the way your fingers fit in mine and wrapped together like puzzle pieces, we were skin twins, we couldn’t tell where you end and i begin now look at us, drowning in the mess we made, trying to swim off in different directions away from that safe harbor, learning the secret: nothing about this was ever safe, rescue was never coming
Absence and death are the same - only that in death there is no suffering. - Theodore Roosevelt
"All writers are vain, selfish and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives lies a mystery. Writing a book is a long, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand." - George Orwell
i know you really think you’re nothing much, but you don’t know how fast my heart starts beating when you walk into the room with those maroon shorts and tee shirt looking as comfortable as if this were your home - oh, wait - you don’t think you’re special but i’ve always been crazed over you, there are no excuses for the things we’ve done all in the name of love for me and all in the name of preservation for you, we want to live through this, we have to get through this, we have to remember we’re still the same lovers who met by chance or fate or pure luck but which kind, we ask, which kind?
Minuscule you would have been 96 today 
had you lived, had covid not gotten you
alone in a hospital bed 
back in the beginning when 
no would could be with you when you passed for some people, their grandfathers
are just old, creepy people who
are annoying to visit and have to hug to some, they’re a minuscule part of life 
but for a time, you were my world you were my only safe man and
maybe you’ll always be my only safe man
and I sure do miss you even 
after all this time isn’t six years a long time?
crumbling into your arms this whole world could be falling to pieces could literally be crumbling under our feet and i would still think of nothing but you and the way it feels when i wake up and roll right into your arms so you can hold me nothing else on earth can soothe me like you do when you wrap your loving arms around me and when i’m not looking you put the heart back that you ripped out of my chest like i never felt it in the first place copyright cheney meaghan cheney.me
when only your arms will soothe me when only your hands will hold me when only your lips will kiss mine i am yours and no one can take you from me because i am holding on tight and will never ever let go
i feel like a rather strong woman yet i still quiver at your touches, i still feel like i need them every day to feel safe and loved by you maybe, now, this isn’t a good thing, maybe you’re tired of how much i want to hold you and be held and you’d rather i didn’t so much but that’s like asking me to breathe less air or make my heart beat less beats in a day, it’s not something i can control, my wanting you so much until, i suppose, you make me feel unwanted and then hands off, and we’re off- i can’t live that way Copyright Cheney Meaghan - cheney.me
unlike other things in life my love for you will never wane there will never come a time when I’m not in the mood to hold you and when you need me, i will always be right here to stand with you and for you you may be the moon who’s pulled my tides toward you like the magic we need to sustain us but you’re also my star the brightest thing in my life that I look up to and count on keep shining, you sweetest pea, i’ll love you until all the stars burn out Copyright Cheney Meaghan
Angry woman yelling "WHAT?" into a phone
we were both on different paths when we met and veered off track and you never would do this now knowing what you know if you knew then where we’d be today you wouldn’t be here anymore you would have been stronger and you would have saved yourself instead you feel the need to save everyone else but you, you always put yourself dead last in any situation or circumstance and frankly, it’s hard to watch it makes me feel so sad that you’re robbing yourself of joy
that night when we were drinking on your front stoop and getting up to other things we shouldn’t have that was the closest i ever came to taking my own life i don’t know what made me shut the car door and not jump out onto the highway and in front of the truck but if i had to guess it was the truck driver who ultimately saved my life i’m burden enough to those who make the mistake to love me
A picture of my perfect cat paper standing and posing for the camera
a month ago we shared more than this and I could sing every night that all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you now we share space and air and that’s about it I don’t pick up my phone to tell you anything about my day or tell you where I’m going when I decide I want to leave like that’s a crime now or a sign i thought you were the one who wanted space who wants space now?
A poem called Lancelot Lessons by Cheney meaghan Giordano: Lancelot himself could beat you over the head with his magical sword and you still wouldn’t have one single chivalrous bone in your body. Pro tips: Open doors for ladies always let them sit in the front seat walk beside them reciprocate love help carry heavy things (physically and emotionally) just even notice that we need help carrying heavy things And remember loving is one thing but liking is another.
a poem titled "what was I thinking?" by cheney meaghan giordano what was i thinking? i will be asking myself for a long time as i ask myself now about everything, about it all here is this man who will never love himself as much as i love him maybe no one in the world will ever love him as much as i love him and yet all was almost lost because i can’t handle the distance i think he needs the distance will never be something i can handle
Poem Titled All or Nothing: if i had to get specific it’s the comment you made about how you still feel about her that i will never get over it’s not the lies it’s not the hiding important things it’s not the loneliness or the fear of losing you or even the resentment over everything it’s making feel like your whore, your “when you feel like it” friend not your partner certainly never your family it really is all or nothing for me Copyright Cheney Meaghan
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.” ― Woody Allen,
Poem called "Is this a dream or a nightmare?" Of course I dream of tears and pain and devastation beyond compare, because the next time you break my heart will be the last time. I dream of waking and reaching for you, but you aren’t there. I dream of always being 3 steps behind you. I dream of being a living, breathing mistake you regret. But I never dreamed I’d feel this lonely with you right here. I never thought I’d think again “our days are numbered” , and so start dreaming about the days without you. You were always my dream, from the day I met you. But now I’ve woken up Copyright Cheney Meaghan, Cheney.me
o the people who hear ‘if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life’, please note, it’s a myth the reality is you will work and while you’re there all you’ll do is dream of being in a place where you can scrawl with a pen or click keys to make something instead of just sitting around waiting to be told what to do i know what to do A poem called: If I can dream myself into being: i know that i have to work even harder, faster, and more so that someday, maybe, my dream will be a reality again and when people ask me what i do i can say, oh no, it’s who are you? and i'm a poet
Title: A lucky shot in the dark i think of my life sometimes in the context of Tswift lyrics: “we never had a shotgun shot in the dark” to “we are a shot in the darkest dark” to “august sipped away like a bottle of wine - 'cause you were never mine” yet, look - here you are next to me on the couch having coffee every morning here are your boxer briefs i wash and fold with my heart full of love and feeling lucky because i get to be the one to fold your underwear how easy, how comfortable, how perfect it can be the conversion of stranger to lover, from a fool’s dream to the absolute love of my life Copyright Cheney meaghan
if not for my #website we wouldn't have met but we were a couple connected on Twitter when it was still a bizarre bazaar of people in the world ready to be known now you know me you see what you get you know what I mean so make your choice and choose wisely
Photo of Elon Musk and his man boobs that says: Elon Musk is the kind of guy that would really hate if everyone on the internet started calling him Adolf Titler. We definitely shouldn't do that.
My cat Piper sitting in an Amazon box wiping her head with her paw
A person’s hand about to flick a resting tiger in the balls saying “2025, here we go”
My cat getting too close
My super cute kitty
My beautiful girl kitty Piper chilling on my bed.
My silly cat Piper rolling around and pulling herself on her side
Burned bacon - black!
Four positive Covid tests right in time for Christmas vacation
2 second video clip of my cat Piper trying to give me kisses while I try to take her picture
Piper, my kitty, curled up with her paws over her face
Our cat Piper, a large, orange, black, and white short haired cat looking skeptical hiding on a bookcase
Pic of myself dressed as my former 1999 goth era self throwing up a peace sign and showing off my braids
A picture of my blocked tags that show I do not want to see anything pro Trump in my feed