Slammed Poet™

@chezident.bsky.social

357 Followers 530 Following

storyteller through games, short fiction, and journalism. he/they.

Image Description: A screenshot of a Discord chat between two users, Malcolm Murdoc and Blaidd, shown on a dark background. The conversation is timestamped between 11:03 PM and 11:10 PM and features humorous, surreal exchanges about mind control, demons, and being left on read. Transcription: Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:03 PM do i have mind control does anyone know if i have mind control i know i can make people look at other stuff and not me but that could just be weird introversion powers Blaidd — Yesterday at 11:04 PM i feel like youd know if you did Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:04 PM i feel like your optimism is both appreciated and not justified YOUDIDITYOUDIDITYOUDIDITYOUDIDIT oh goddammit the madness network got into my burner phone sorry am i allowed to say goddammit? i feel like i really need to reckon with my swears right now are you guys okay? Blaidd — Yesterday at 11:08 PM 👌 theres a lady here and she definitely a demon or smth but its fine shes insane or wtv Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — Yesterday at 11:09 PM what Malcolm Murdoc 🪓 ffhack — 11:10 PM listen i appreciate our rapport but this is the wrong time to leave me on read
A 5-by-4 collage titled “About Me: Video Games,” showing twenty game box arts, each representing a personal category. Top row: Super Mario RPG labeled “Favorite Game,” Final Fantasy Tactics labeled “Best Story,” Vagrant Story labeled “Favorite Art Style,” Dark Souls labeled “Biggest Personal Impact,” and Final Fantasy VII Rebirth labeled “Best Combat.” Second row: Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines 2 labeled “Overhated,” Red Faction labeled “Underrated,” Marvel Rivals labeled “Overrated,” Bloodborne labeled “Needs a Remake,” and Roboquest labeled “Criminally Overlooked.” Third row: Tales of Vesperia labeled “Favorite Protagonist,” Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver labeled “Favorite Antagonist,” Undertale labeled “Best Soundtrack,” Halo 3 labeled “Best Multiplayer,” and Resident Evil Village labeled “Not Usually My Thing, But…”. Bottom row: Balatro labeled “Turn My Brain Off,” Monster Hunter Wilds labeled “Best With Friends,” Breath of Fire III labeled “Best Retro Game,” Brave Fencer Musashi labeled “Nostalgic Childhood Game,” and Phantom Dust labeled “Game Everyone Should Play.”
A bearded man at the beach during sunset discusses his political diplomacy.
A plastic cube diorama of Delita Heiral from Final Fantasy Tactics, kneeling over the inert form of Princess Ovelia along a cobblestone path, surrounded by stone pillars. A pixelated knife lies nearby, while a dialogue box above Delita reads: "King Delita: Ramza...what did you get?" The bottom of the diorama reads "FINAL FANTASY TACTICS."
The title screen of the game "Cross Blitz," featuring several characters, including a dryad, an anthropomorphic fish and lion, and a witch with purple-pink hair.
A misty shoreline along a lake of what appears to be blood. Along the left side of the picture, a ridge climbs toward a structure shrouded in fog. From the middle of the like rises a slender statue, holding a two pronged staff in its right hand. Thorns emerge from its right shoulder and from the socket of its left arm, which is otherwise missing.
An advertisement from The Washington Post for the newspaper's AI service. The picture is a screenshot from the ad, listing The Washington Post's logo across the top, a set of boxed in letters reading ASK THE POST AI, larger text beneath that reading "Built on facts. Powered by conversation," then in smaller text "Ask the Post AI is fueled by trusted reporting and your curiosity. Even better, it's free for everyone to use. Where will your next question take you?" Finally, there is a large blue round button with white text reading "Start your conversation."
A screenshot of a Steam purchase history tab. It reads: 04/05/10: Condition Zero 05/28/10: Red Faction, Unreal Tournament: GoTY 05/30/10: Morrowind Game of the Year 01/31/2011: Team Fortress 2 01/31/2011: Killing Floor
A picture of author Stephen King over a headline that reads ENTERTAINMENT | Where to start reading Stephen King, by Tasha Robinson. The screenshot is from Polygon.com, a gaming and entertainment news site.
A screeshot of a Google Doc word counter, reading "2,534."
Text that reads: There were no jolly little signs saying: You Don’t Have To Be Pitilessly Sadistic To Work Here But It Helps!! But there were things to suggest to a thinking man that the Creator of mankind had a very oblique sense of fun indeed, and to breed in his heart a rage to storm the gates of heaven. The mugs, for example. The inquisitors stopped work twice a day for coffee. Their mugs, which each man had brought from home, were grouped around the kettle on the hearth of the central furnace which incidentally heated the irons and knives. They had legends on them like A Present From the Holy Grotto of Ossory, or To The World’s Greatest Daddy. Most of them were chipped, and no two of them were the same. And there were the postcards on the wall. It was traditional that, when an inquisitor went on holiday, he’d send back a crudely colored woodcut of the local view with some suitably jolly and risqué message on the back. And there was the pinned-up tearful letter from Inquisitor First Class Ishmale “Pop” Quoom, thanking all the lads for collecting no fewer than seventy-eight obols for his retirement pension and the lovely bunch of flowers for Mrs. Quoom, indicating that he’d always remember his days in No. 3 pit, and was looking forward to coming in and helping out any time they were short-handed. And it all meant this: that there are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal, kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do. Vorbis loved knowing that. A man who knew that, knew everything he needed to know about people.
Cloud Strife, a blond man with spiky hair and blue eyes facing the camera head on, his arm cocked upward to hold his sword behind him.
A text message reading: "Oh I good I get to explain this you," followed by a second message reading: "You will regret this," followed by a "now typing" bubble.
A tweet from "SmugAlana" declaring "COMPLETE AND UTTER TOTAL FOX DOMINATION VICTORY, VICE TOOK DOWN ALL ARTICLES SMEARING KIRSCHE" followed by a reply from GrimmiVT reading "That's nice, I think even if peeps weren't a giant fans of hers they had to be finding some of the stuff being stated completely ridiculous past a certain point"
A grey raccoon, seen from above, reaching its front paws forward while standing on a concrete breezeway.
A screenshot of Final Fantasy Tactics. The battlefield is presented in an isometric viewer featuring the player party - a female knight, a black mage, and a monk - off to the far left, a demon standing under a pillar of light, an assassin standing to the demon's right, and a silver haired man standing behind them.
The headline and photo for a story on Tribal Business News. The headline reads "Trump budget proposes deep cuts to Native American programs." Beneath the headline is a photo of US President Donald Trump; in his right hand he is holding a pen between his middle and forefinger, while his left hand is placed on the front of a black folder. The cutline for the photo reads: "President Trump's budget request cuts hundreds of millions from programs that support tribal self-governance and Native communities. (Photo: White House)" The byline reads "By Chez Oxendine | May 2, 2025" and the share counter notes the story has had 15,600 shares across Facebook, Twitter, email, and through a generalized share link.
A parody screenshot of Final Fantasy Tactics during a duel sequence. A blond man named Wiegraf stands surrounded by dead knights. In his dialogue box, in comic sans, is the phrase "hey dipshit I hope you've been using more than one save slot."
A circular logo. The red border around the circle contains "Chamber of Commerce of the Massapequas, Inc." in white letters, while the interior of the circle has a profile of a man wearing a war bonnet, facing left.
Senator Corey Booker gestures behind a podium during a 25-hour long speech on the Senate floor protesting the policies of President Donald Trump.
A gray cat from the chest up, upside down, facing the camera. Her paws are curled towards her body and her pupils are dilated.
A tumblr post from deactivated tumblr user "btc-official-deactivated2024071" that reads: "yoooo theyre playing my fucking leitmotif in here this party rules (hearing it change to minor key) Oh Shit. Oh Fuck" The user's avatar is the same as is typically used for anonymous users of the site: a spherical gray head shaded on the left side and wearing sunglasses, facing the right.
A tan-skinned man with a scarred face. He has a thick salt and pepper chin strap beard, no moustache, shoulder-length long hair, and is wearing a white shirt. His right eye is milky white in color with a a scar reaching across it, while there is a cross shaped scar on his left cheek.
A screenshot of the Steam downloads page listing "Monster Hunter Wilds" as "Game not released."
A video of a gray cat purring, with her eyes mostly closed.
Messages from Discord. The first, from user Chez Dispenser with a cartoonish avatar of a bearded man, reads: eh, with a party you wouldn't even have to go down there, just send me in captain, my body is a machine that turns unholy fish monters into hot lady katanas The second, from a blanked out user, reads: previously unsaid sentence btw Chez Dispenser responds: hamlet, monkeys, infinite typewriters, etc.
A grey cat lying on her side, turning slightly to squint at the camera.
A blue circle under handwritten text that writes "ask me my top 3 anything."
A discord message from "Chez Dispenser," whose icon is a stylized man with long dark hair and a beard wearing a dark blue and orange-red shirt. The message reads: "a lesbian should be left well enough alone. i'll have to cure you of your beastly yuriosity. - lady maria, probably"
A notification that comics writer Gail Simone has followed you!
A grey cat sitting in a loaf on the back of a chair.
A pink and purple text box, featuring white text that says "1 like = 1 videogame song I love"
a gray image that says "send me a video game/series, and i'll reply with my opinion on it!"
A grey cat in the midst of licking her own nose.
A chest, upper-arms, and shoulders shot of a man looking slightly off-camera to the left, with one eye covered by an eyepatch. The man has dark, spiky hair with long bangs, a thin goatee with no moustache, is wearing a bright blue crystal earring, and plate armor with elaborate pauldrons. The man is named Orlandeau Heiral, and is a player-made character in the game Final Fantasy 14.
A grey cat looking at the camera.
A grey cat sitting on the back of a chair. In the chair is a large man with a thick gray and black beard and long black hair.
A spam email that reads: Hi, I trust you're well. I recently took a look at your website, www.chezdispenser.com and saw some opportunities to make it even more successful. I'm confident that with the right SEO strategy, we can help you attract more customers and grow your business online.
A man with short white hair, red spectacles, a red jacket with gray tie and black shirt, tights and knee high boots joins the character Gra'ha Tia from Final Fantasy 14.
A picture of a playable, created character from Final Fantasy 14. The character, named Folmarv Tengille, has short white hair, is wearing red spectacles, a red blazer with a black shirt and gray tie, and tights with knee high boots.
A small heart beneath the text, "one like equals I introduce one of my OCs."
A tweet from "Cilantro.bb.95@aim.com" that reads: "phone: rings/me: if i die and go to hell real soon..." which is a lyric that follows a telephone ring on the Say Anything Album "Is A Real Boy." The tweet also features the image on the front of "Is A Real Boy," which is a long, branch like nose with several leaves protruding from the bridge.
A picture with an off-white background and black text reading "Get to know my game taste" followed by the words "For every like, I will post one game I love" followed by a heart emoji.
A large man with a thick beard and a gray cat in the background.
A discord user named "Chez Dispenser" writes: long has sleep eluded me, kept from my desperate grasp by cruel vagaries of an unwell mind er, sorry, hang on -cough- i got anxiety bro
Bilbo regarding the One Ring.
Logo for Hollow Knight.
A grindylow from Pathfinder, resembling a goblin on its top half and an octopus on the bottom, brandishing a jagged spear.
A screenshot of Elden Ring depicting the main character, wearing a shield on their back, with their back to the camera. To the character's right and left are petrified bodies reaching out toward a giant, skeletal priest seated in a chair in the grove beyond.
A twitter post reading "what's the biggest case of the domino in your life? mine is: googling the origin of nyan cat song, an arrow pointing right, I live in Washington DC now," as well as a picture of a man about to knock over increasingly silly-sized dominos.