The Chicago Genius Herald

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Extremely real Chicago-style news. https://linktr.ee/chicagogenius

A uniformed ICE agent stands near the TSA checkpoint at O'Hare Airport in Chicago. Inset: a tear gas canister in a small zipper baggie
Caption: Sexy Fedoras and Other Ways To Romantically Honor The St. Valentines Day Massacre -- Pinky Huffman, Fashion Columnist / Image: A pink-tinted image of a well-muscled and handsome man with no shirt, overalls, and a fedora. He's holding a cigar and smiling flirtatiously. Cartoon hearts surround him. Inset: a smug-looking man (Pinky Huffman) in an orange suit and bow tie.
Call for Writers! send 5 headlines in our style to chicagogeniusherald@gmail.com. Deadline: February 23rd (Chicago Genius Herald logo and masthead)
A person in winter gear slips and falls on a set of icy stairs.
Caption: “Abolish ICE” in the Lead for Snow Plow Naming Contest, But Only Because “Abolish, Prosecute, and Imprison ICE, Impeach Noem and Homan, and Send Stephen Miller into Space” Wouldn’t Fit / Image: a snowplow with this incredibly long name stretching across the whole side of the truck
A Chicago Bears fan at a stadium looking intently at the game. They have a photoshopped hat with big fake scissors attached to the top, in the same vein as the popular (real) "cheese grater" hat.
"Pro-Car, Anti-Car Factions Gather in Giddings Plaza for a Rumble." Two angry mobs gather in Lincoln Square, armed with household tools like a shovel and plant trimmers.
St. Anthony Hospital in Chicago. Inset: Dorval Carter
An array of farm equipment, with a sign clearly from the pitchfork music fest in front
Brandon Johnson holding the 2024 d&d player's handbook
A "Speed Limit 25" sign, but there's an asterisk after the 25
The James R. Thompson Center, with a big candle inside. It glows orange, and cut-out sections on one side resemble a big jack-o-lantern.
A man looks distressed with his hands to his temples in front of his friends having a great time at a Halloween party. They're wearing normal 'ween costumes and he's wearing a white shirt with a "chicago rat hole" shaped cutout taped to it.
da bean unda construction
Fighter planes. inset: an incredulous-looking man with a mustache and beard, in front of a stage at the Annoyance Theatre.
A dance floor lit with blue and purple lights, with a disco ball above and lighted panels in the floor. A coffin stands in the middle of the floor, bedecked with flowers. An easel stands in front with a picture of popular musician DJ Casper. Images of DJ Casper are on video screens in the background.