Catherine Robertson

@cjrauthor.bsky.social

1253 Followers 907 Following

Author of Flora Valley, Miss Lovelock and Imperfect Lives series romcoms (catherinejrobertson.com) she/her, trans rights, vote Green, owner of cats, dogs and chickens. Banner pic is Bernie judging you

Burmese cat, cream coloured, sits and look pensively upwards like she has seen her fate writ in the stars
Red Burmese cat in a tangle on a couch
Post from Shaneel Lal that perfect sums up the fuckery this government is pushing
Cream Burmese seated side-in in loaf fashion on the arm of a sofa
Tshirt design with an alarmed cartoon black cat and the caption Much panic, very little disco
Bluey style dog cartoon based on my son’s anxious elderly Staffy cross
A red Burmese cat, a chocolate Burmese cat and a blue Staffordshire terrier curled up together on a sofa
Stuff poll that asks who you'd vote for as new National Party leader. Nicola Willis on a crushing 13%, Chris Bishop on 29%, Erica Sanford on 21% and 'Someone Else' well in the lead at 37%
Handwritten ad for my son's first workshop for his Brainrot Rehab programme, it's free!
Heads of three Burmese cat plus a fourth cat's butt all squished up together next to me on the bed because the weather outside is shite
Cream Burmese cat sitting on my lap
Squishy British bulldog face
Two bumper stickers on an incredibly muddy car, one says Peepee Poopoo and the has the meme with the screwed up face cat and the words Traffic Lights, Am I right?
Poster with a photo of new NZ Poet Laureate Robert Sullivan holding his latest collection of poems Hopurangi: Songcatcher, and the headline A Big Night In With The NZ Poet Laureate Robert Sullivan with logos of the co-organisers, Hawke's Bay Readers & Writers and National Library
Headline says: "Watch: Melania Trump arrives at White House, with a robot" and the caption for the photo that shows two humanoid creatures in all white should read, 'Robot is on the left' (it is, I think)
Absolute WTF image of a tree trunk with a stuck-on face that looks like both female and male genitalia - trust me, you don't want more details. Next to it is what looked like a tiny corkscrew being held over a big toenail - your guess is as good as mine
Photo of Judith Collins looking smug
A cream Burmese cat with eyes closed in an apparent state of bliss
Isle of Man symbol with three legs
Cream Burmese cat curled up on a chair with a blue/black/yellow cushion behind her (honestly, it's a nice pattern)
Three Burmese cats on a bed in kind of a trefoil pattern - two are chocolate, one red
Headline from Stuff, quoting Auckland Mayor, Wayne Brown, saying housing change has done its job if it "calms down worried elderly residents".
Very stary Burmese cat
Question from the Stuff daily quiz that says: The term "snatch" is typically used in which sport?"
Photo of Winston Peters at Waitangi, with the headline: I didn't come here to be insulted
A cream Burmese cat lifting its head so you can only see its chin and neck which looks weird because my cat is a weirdo
Exceptionally irate looking fancy chicken
A succulent corn cob grown in my very own garden
Tiny POS Gregory Bovino surrounded by ICE agents with caption, I'm a little despot, short and stout
Three Burmese cats squished together on a sofa with the middle cats paws on the butt of a British bulldog
An ice cube except that it’s round, perfect for gin and tonic
Indoor temperature gauge that now says 34 degrees Celsius!
An indoor temperature gauge showing 31 degrees Celsius - too fucking hot
Photo of outdoor concert dome at Black Barn with orange sunset in sky and Shapeshifter on stage lit up blue and red
A knitted Powelliphanta or giant New Zealand snail - my Christmas present!
A British bulldog reclines full length on her owners lap while he files her nails
Mad pamphlet apparently about the end of the world but light on coherent detail. The front illustration includes a golden headed statue with strappy gold sandals, a bunch of soldiers from random points in history, a winged lion, a bear with tusks, a four-headed leopard with wings, a dragon or dinosaur that’s also possibly a mutant centipede, a buffalo running on the American flag, and in the top right corner, a host of tiny angels and Jesus keeping a safe distance. Oh, and lightning and a big stormy sea in the background. The oxymoronic title is ‘Our future today…’ with ‘The Great Controversy. HOW WILL IT END?’ It is sitting on the lid of my wheelie bin into which I placed it two seconds later
Headline from Stuff website 'US Congress summons Andrew, providing him the chance to 'come clean' - ugh
Cover in pretty pinks, oranges and lilac of my new novella Housemates with the Horndog, a slow-burn, friends to lovers rom-com about trust and secrets, with a hint of magical matchmaking. Cover design by Enni Amanda
Recipe from The NY Times extolling the virtues of Mushroom Wellington the murder weapon of choice for a certain Australian
Photo of British bulldog with one jowl pressed against my leg
Close up of British bulldog’s chonky paw
Clued up on the face of a red/cream Burmese cat to show his tongue sticking out just a teensy bit
A fancy grey pigeon with a magnificent ruff in a how very dare you pose
Orange sunset through a bank of cirrus clouds above farm fields
A red-cream Burmese cat named Reginald is lying in his back on a grey sofa with his legs spread out, looking way more relaxed than I think I’ve ever been in my life
A stone sleeping lion on a grave at Abney Park Cemetery- my Lock Screen
Three Burmese cats squished on my lap
Red Burmese cat with head tucked firmly beneath the dog bed blanket in protest at being treated for fleas and ticks
A red British bulldog named Olive is shamelessly lying on her back on the grass inviting belly rubs from the neighbour’s six year old
Excerpt from the satirical genius that is The Betoota Advocate: "Now, today also marks the final day of the Betoota Hillsong Conference. It’s been a week of raised hands, LED light shows, heavy petting, mutual masterbation and more guitar pedals than your average Splendour setlist. The faithful have been out in force, speaking in tongues, faking seizures, tapping Eftpos in the collection buckets, and praising the Lord through the miracle of stadium-grade sound engineering. From the synchronised baptisms down at Lake Betoota to the late-night jam sessions at the Daroo Street Workies, it’s safe to say the Spirit has well and truly moved across our shire this week. Whoever put LSD in the non-alcoholic punch, the police will find you and hopefully flog the spirit of Christ out of you with their telescopic batons. It took me 7 hours to walk the 2km home on Tuesday night. There was no difference in having my eyes open or shut I was that poisoned."