Clayburn

@clayburn.bsky.social

370 Followers 1084 Following

Alex/Clay, He/him, Bi/grey-ace, c. 1991 Chicago, IL I have far too many OCs. Occasionally 18+ 💞 @rudemydude.bsky.social 💍

Donostia Foods tinned fish: Squid (pieces) in American sauce. The sauce is tomato based and quite oily.
Screenshot from a comments section (username withheld so as not to put them on blast): For however much we may talk about it, it’s still underrated how much of a stifling effect the general precarity of life has. I’m not GenZ, but I was in high school in 2001 and graduated college in 2008, and as a consequence have been absolutely goddamn terrified of not having money and winding up falling off the increasingly narrow beam that is society ever since, and it’s only in the last couple years after a lot of therapy that I’m finally beginning to feel secure enough to really stretch into myself - I’ve been financially successful at the cost of spending my 20s and 30s as a bundle of repressed neuroses. So, yeah, the kids aren’t fucking or partying, because to do those things you need to be vulnerable, and our society’s entire message is “show weakness and we will eat your fucking face.” Want kids to fuck? Give them health care and housing.
Threads post: Noah Kahan: 10/10. The woman who turned Section 125 into a restroom: 0/10. My biohazard urine soaked purse and everything inside it slipped the ride home and went straight into a Citi Field trash can. Spending $1,000 on tickets wasn’t supposed to end with replacing my belongings due to a feral creature turning a section into her personal restroom.
It’s the 1700s. You’re at a theater, with three tiers of balconies rising into the rafters, the columns golden and the seats red and velvety. You come here all the time, but your mouse lady friend Zozzona hasn’t been in years - she’s been too busy in her workshop. She’s worn her nicest dress here, a blue and white floral number with a sash draped behind by her elbows and architecture in the skirt, and you can tell she feels uncommonly flattered by it. She looks over her shoulder back at you as she prepares to ascend the stairs to the opera box you reserved for you and your date, knowing you can’t take your eyes off her.
Us!!!
Malayan sun bear with a distinctive half moon pattern on the neck
Probability bracket from The Athletic
pizza with a threatening aura
Classic Onion headline: Total Dipshit Fans Think Pop-Up Fly Ball Going To Be Home Run
Something called a “reflex ball” where you have a ball on an elastic tether that’s strapped to your head??? The boxes have bitmoji lookin ass illustrations of people using them and also wearing fingerless gloves and toeless, heel-less calf-length socks
HANA Chicken Luncheon Meat. It’s got English on one side and Arabic on the other, and it’s in the exact shape and size of a can of Spam
Teenage Justin Bieber playing a Nintendo DS and looking very surprised while the words “penis penis penis penis penis” are captioned off to the side. Screenshot taken from a video from the channel VvvvvaVvvvvvr, which has been originating many of the “penis penis oh” memes lately including the original
Top six e621 tags: fur, clothed, tail, toes, feet, hair
Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford taking her adopted baby home on the TV at brunch
Clue fragrances, 2mL bottles. “With the Candlestick”: Smoky, spicy. “Warm Bulb”: Dry, sweet. “Dandelion Butter”: Grassy, light. “Morel Map”: Earthy, damp. “The Point”: Crystalline, bright.
Lyrics from Talking Heads b-side I Wish You Wouldn't Say That: I wish you didn't tell her I thought I'd have to come right over I thought I'd have to make it clearer Now Jimmy's coming over
lentic (adj): of, relating to, or living in still waters (such as lakes, ponds, or swamps)
Tracklist for Remain in Light (Deluxe Version) on Tidal. The four bonus tracks have been omitted.
Remain in Light (1980) by Talking Heads
Watching Kung Pow at the room party last night
Roomba dressed in black and white lace with a moveable feather duster arm and googly eyes at LVFC
Fox McCloud in the Super Mario Galaxy movie (clearly a photo taken in a theater, not mine)
Patagonian gaucho lookin ass hat
Footage from the documentary The Velvet Queen in which a manul, also known as a Pallas’s cat, is hunting a chipmunk or a marmot or something like that, and stalks its prey in a motion uncannily like popping and locking, walking forwards in dozens of discrete micro movements
the cover of Caribou's Start Breaking My Heart, a 2001 IDM record
EXXXOTICA adult expo presented by MyFreeCams Chicago, IL April 10-12 Minneapolis, MN June 26-28 Edison, NJ October 23-25 Miami, FL December 4-6
Paris Hilton themed International Delight coffee creamer in Raspberry Champagne and Sweet & Spicy flavors. They are tagged with “Loves It” and “That’s Hot” respectively.
Gregg from Night in the Woods offering the viewer a joint, saying “I swear to god it’s medicine” while looking mildly zooted. Art by soulfullhyena. I have never played night in the woods to be clear.
Picture of Jesse Plenonade, credit Eric Stengel
Green dye in the Chicago River, March 14, 2026
a screenshot from the promotional website for Game Night Out, a venue with two locations in the greater Chicago area where you and your coworkers can play dumb party games without having to actually think of what the games are ahead of time or designate someone to host. you used to at least have to play bocce or whirlyball or something, jesus fucking christ
Half a liter of half and half in a one liter container. I don’t think they’re trying should sell this when it’s been opened and partially consumed!
Violent J of Insane Clown Posse
An article about American figure skater Ilia Malinin, who in this photo and only this photo looks disturbingly like Ed Sheeran
A billboard for the Chicago Boat Show, Jan 28-Feb 1, with a photo reminiscent of that one Zack Fox tweet
Signs of compulsory heterosexuality: - Deciding which [women] to be attracted to - not to date, but to be *attracted to* - based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities. - I’m constantly testing my attraction to [women]. I pick one or more conventionally attractive [women] in the room, and try to force myself to be attracted to them.
David Bowie painted blue in the video for Loving the Alien
Underwear that has a separate pouch for your dick vs your balls
The yugioh split path meme. The dark side is called Why Words Matter: The Power of Lyrics. The sunny side features a bunch of nonsense from Sun King by the Beatles off Abbey Road.
Wordle results. The correct answer is fruit, and two prior guesses are grunt and spurt
Campbell’s Chunky Ghost Pepper Chicken Noodle Soup
Jars of Martinelli’s Gold Medal Apple Juice (10 oz)
Cookie Dough flavored Oreos
One of those job offer spam texts you get like twice a day now, but this one starts with “Indeed®. We're currently offering a simple remote position” etc etc etc.
Canned chopped squid in ink sauce
Two framed artworks, both roughly 6”x8” On top is Violet, a tanuki rendered in pen and marker. She’s rocking a 90s-inspired look with bright blue hair, a partially-unzipped sleeveless crop top, and pants with star cutouts on the sides of the legs featuring a futuristic belt buckle. The background is a rainbow-colored nebula, the sky behind her filled with stars. She owns your attention and she knows it, posing with one hand on her knee and the other behind her head. Under that is Shane, a cougar rendered in black pen. He’s only wearing jeans, and with his shirt off it’s apparent he has a few claw mark scars on his shoulder and stomach. He has slicked back hair and some piercings in his ears and on his muzzle. He’s propped up against a door frame, gesturing with one hand for you to come inside. It’s his party and you’re welcome!
Art divided into two halves. On the top half, there is dead Peter Griffin but with pointy ears, fuzzy cheeks, and a ringtail like a raccoon. On the bottom there is a more true to life raccoon curled up into a ball to sleep. The one on top is labeled: Fat Lazy Unaccountable Socially inept Former gifted kid Failure to launch Scared of his own shadow No intrinsic motivation Emotionally stunted Can’t fuck right Chopped unc Brainrotted The bottom one is labeled: Book smart Good memory Good gift buyer Strong identity Strong conscience Accepting Empathetic Knows his limits Always trying Daddy Friends and a community Loving and supportive relationship Will never kill himself because he’s internalized that the people he loves would be too sad if he died Basically, it’s vent art.
A horribly blotchy looking Great Depression water pie. It was nevertheless delicious.