Cullen Wade

@cullenwade.bsky.social

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Author, S(p)lasher Flicks: The Swimming Pool in Horror Cinema (McFarland, 2025) | words @ Paste mag, Night Tide mag, Horror Homeroom, HorrorGeekLife, et al. | charlottesville, va, usa | autistic he/him | 🇵🇸BLM🏳️‍🌈ACAB🏳️‍⚧️FDT https://linktr.ee/cullenwade

A sign from an Amtrak train bathroom with a pictograph of a custodian & the message “Be considerate of the next passenger, and clean up.”
An ai-generated image listing teacher appreciation week raffle winners with some bizarre haunting faces in the background
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 103: Open House (1987) This is a gorgeous lagoon-style pool that blends in with the grounds, with a lovely waterfall feature. I have a feeling that some of the rocks are fake, in a mini-golf course kind of way, which would cost it major points in terms of being fun to swim in. Aesthetically, though, this is a triumph.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 102: Colossal (2016) I don't think I need to repeat how unsafe it is to jump into a pool so leaf-covered you can't see what's in there, but my admonition against having a pool you can leap into from an upper story probably does bear repeating.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 101: Don't Breathe 2 (2021) This is another case where, if you can see past its condition, there's a very nice pool to discover. I'm pretty sure the sign at the deep end indicates a depth of 22', which gives it a major advantage over most residential pools. Re-mount that springboard, break out the mop, & you're in business.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 100: Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997) There's something suggestive about the shape of this pool, but I can't quite wrap my hand around it.
“The Behemoth“ towering over an suv from the movie The Mist
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 99: Bad Things (2023) The indoor pool could use some opening up. I don't think dark-colored wall tiles are a good idea when the space already feels kind of cramped. The outdoor pool has some nice sky blue accents, but really should be covered in the winter.
Poster for the 2020 film Gretel & Hansel
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 98: Fever Dream (2021) This is about as minimalist as you can get, & not in a sleek modern way. As in The Stepford Wives, I'm not sure how you can avoid getting your grass clippings in the pool. Amanda is right to worry about the kid falling in, because there's literally nothing to stop that from happening. The phrase "concrete pond" has never been more apt.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 97: Cat People (1982) Not as bad as the one in the original film, but that is a very low bar. At least this one has...a window? & a higher ceiling but still, a pool should not feel claustrophobic. The brown tile work, especially around the edge, is really nice though.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 96: Piranha (1978) It's hard to assess this as a swimming pool since, by daylight, it's clearly more of an industrial holding tank. On closer inspection though, it was probably converted from a pool, so those poor kids can be forgiven.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 95: The Glass House (2001) Minus the flat-edge coping on two sides, this pool is more traditional than you'd expect from the ultra-modern look of the rest of the house. The warm color of the decking & the modest furniture make it downright homey.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 94: Poltergeist III (1988) This one is all about the view. Very few pools are so dire that they couldn't be redeemed by that vista--which is good, because there's some kind of weird spigot-looking trip hazard where the diving board should be.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 93: Lady in the Water (2006) When a pool suggests a heart shape without actually being heart-shaped. Kind of a melted guitar pick. You know I'm not the biggest fan of cantilevered coping, but that can be forgiven. My only note is it seems a tad small for an apartment complex of this size.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 92: Let the Right One In (2008) I promise this is the last time I'll mention this: we in North America should be taking notes from the Scandinavians on proper lighting for a public swimming pool. The pastel colors on the bleacher fronts also help to make this a cheerful environment. The water level could be higher, but that's a design choice, not neglect.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 91: Swimfan (2002) I didn't go to high school in the New Jersey suburbs, so I don't know how common it is for schools there to have repurposed public bathhouses from the 1940s with balconies & intricate mosaics but I can't help feeling like I missed out.
A brunette woman with big earring looking g into the camera with a strange expression, half smile half grimace, while an equally ambiguously-happy looking man stands behind her.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 90: The Hunger (1983) Without an establishing shot for context, we'll never get clarity on (a) what this fancy restaurant that overlooks a clothing-optional swimming pool is all about, (b) why said pool is so bare-bones & industrial-looking, & (c) why the lights are off.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 89: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) Not much to say. Modest-sized, kidney-shaped, well-maintained, no-frills backyard pool. Gets the job done & looks good doing it. Probably no more than 6' at its deepest though, so I hope you aren't dead-set on diving.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 88: The Twilight Zone: "The Bewitchin' Pool" (1964) Pool is so dang big they can't even fit the whole thing in one shot. Extremely excessive for a 4-person family. Also, unrelated, but I could never figure out why the parents talk like Mid-Atlantic yuppies but the kids sound straight outta the Georgia pines.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 87: Fright Night (2011) Not sure why there's a full pool at a vacant house (especially in the desert), but I like the tile work. It's hard to be certain but I think that's a sun bench in the corner, which is always a nice feature.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 86: Mortuary (1983) Even a well-known critic of pools with ocean view like me has to admit the slinky shape of this one is quite appealing. It is also, however, too big for a single-family home, & between the stonework, decorative planters, & deck furniture, it's a bit cluttered on the house side.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 85: Trick or Treat (1986) I can easily imagine a group of teenagers sneaking into the public pool to party thinking it would be more fun in the dark. At long last, a scene where it makes sense for the lights to be off.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 84: The Stepfather (2009) 3 pools to discuss here. The strange shape of the school building makes me feel like I'm in an airplane hangar. Aunt Jackie's pool (top) is minimalist loveliness except that aggregate cantilevered coping I worry about keeping clean. The Hardings' pool (bottom) is modest & lovingly landscaped, & I'm a sucker for a tiered deck.
Me standing at the bottom of the staircase in Washington DC made famous by the film The Exorcist.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 83: The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) In theory I shouldn't like this one very much. Undistinguished concrete slabs on the deck & cheap aluminum coping are things I've complained about with other pools. But motel pools (a category that broadly includes RV parks) play by different rules. Nostalgia value matters, & the way the neon trees play off the stone wall gives this a lot of character.
A flyer for “Chlorine & Kudzu: Southern Gothic meets Swimming Pool Scares” a book event on 3/19 in Charlottesville, VA with authors Cullen Wade and Elizabeth Broadbent.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 82: The Woman (2011) Impossible to say much because we don't get a good look at it, but--I know I'm always talking about safety & making sure kids don't fall in, but for a backyard pool this fence seems excessive.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 80: The Velvet Vampire (1971) We never get a wide shot of the pool so it's hard to get a good read, but from what I can tell, this is as responsible as a pool in the desert can be. Xeriscaping, making use of rocks & vegetation with minimal water needs. Revenge & Death Valley, I hope you're taking notes.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 79: Infinity Pool (2023) The film's title is a misnomer, since there are at least 2 infinity pools at this Li Tolqa resort. One is an undistinguished rectangle, the other is this compellingly midcentury space-age job with lilypads for lounging. I know which one I'd spend my time in.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 78: Assassination Nation (2018) A modest backyard pool, just big enough to frolic around in with a few friends & to allow for some depth variation. I can't help but think the deck could use some adornment. Tile work is kind of boring too, but on the plus side, when empty this would be a very fun pool to skate in, if you're into that.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 77: Confessions (2010) Even without the puke-green water, leafy surface, & dead body, this pool would still be gross. The naked cement deck & stamped skimmer plates in utilitarian coping make this look more like an industrial reservoir than anything meant for humans.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 76: Blood Rage (1987) I'm not even going to harp on the raised lip around the perimeter, because this has a major aesthetic problem. Grey coping, grey deck, grey & featureless beige walls. Even the tank is painted a pastel blue that approaches grey. Get some color in there, people!
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 75: Carrie (2013) Water volleyball is not a bad choice for a high school gym class activity, but the coach should have provided an alternate opt-out assignment. Also not sure why there appear to be no ladders or steps.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 74: Death Valley (1982) Consistent with its locale as a hotel pool in the middle of the desert, this has the look of an oasis, with the irregular paving stones & the lush vegetation. Ecologically, though, unless it's built atop an actual oasis, some kind of xeriscaping would be more appropriate.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 73: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989) I hate to be a broken record here, but a facility like this needs natural light, especially if you're gonna surround it with dark red brick walls. A space this big has no business feeling this cramped.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 72: Asmodexia (2014) I'm puzzled as to what this dilapidated place used to be. The bleachers around the pool & what appear to be diving platforms suggest that it's a sporting facility, but the adjacent structures look like a large hotel. The pool also seems to slope down to its maximum depth at the diving area & then slope back up again, like a much larger version of a modern sports pool. Very odd.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 71: Diabolique (1996) Given its proximity to well-trafficked foot paths & the back door of the main building--& the fact that it's you know, a school--there should really be a fence around this pool.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 70: Gremlins (1984) I'm going to give this YMCA the benefit of the doubt & assume there are windows (probably a skylight) that we just don't see in the scene's framing, because the idea of a YMCA pool with no natural light is absurd. Also, the red stripes on white walls make it look weirdly medical.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 69: Revenge (2017) Undoubtedly a waste of water in the desert, this is the kind of pool that sacrifices utility for the appearance of luxury. Still, if what we see in the film is any indication, it's surprisingly swimmable for how uninviting it looks.
Two xeroxed zines, one with a green cover & one with a yellow cover, titled “S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews: a supplement by Cullen Wade.” The yellow copy is slightly open & you can see a full-color image inside.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 68: House (1985) One of the nicest residential pools on this list. The freeform grotto style isn't for everyone, but this one does a splendid job of looking like a natural part of the landscape. It might not be your thing if you like to dive, though.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 67: Sunset Boulevard (1950) There are 3 pool ladders when Joe gets shot, but one has disappeared by the time the cops show up. Awful continuity editing, crap movie.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 66: Night Swim (2024) Everybody asks about this one so I'm gonna be contrarian & not review it except to say that apparently nobody else noticed or cared that the pool on the poster does not resemble the one in the movie.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 65: The House on Sorority Row (1983) Honestly I don't know what those girls were complaining about. Sure, it's in need of skim, but everything's in good repair, & as the frat boys demonstrate later in the movie, it's still very swimmable. Everything wrong with this pool could be fixed in less than an hour with available tools.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 64: A Cure For Wellness (2016) How can both of these pools exist in the same facility? The bottom one is top 5 designs in a Suspiria mold, the top is the worst one since Cat People. Feast or famine I suppose.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 63: Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972) The playful zigzag, tiered deck, & beach view just scream summer fun (& that's saying something, if you've kept up with this series & know how I feel about pools next to the beach). With the diving area in the middle rather than off at one end, it must be hard to keep patrons from landing on each other's heads, which is probably why you don't see this design in modern pools.
Good morning, Can you please link me to the larger context for this policy? Is it a building-level policy or a county policy? If there is an opportunity, I would love to help revise that language for future school years, because while "political candidate" is clear enough, "controversial issue" seems like a vague & inadequate phrase. We teach the "controversial issue" of evolution in our science classes. In our government classes, we teach about the rule of law & due process. So to add one's voice to the crowd (which according to opinion polls includes almost 2/3rds of the country & has bipartisan support in the federal legislature) asking for accountability for an agency that flouts due process, openly violates federal court orders (those same federal courts we teach our students must be respected in a functional democracy), & admits, in their publicly-released data, that a significant portion of their activities are unlawful, stretches any definition of "controversial" that I can come up with. I have always been a team player & will continue to be, unless what I am asked to do is illegal or immoral, so please don't interpret this as me being oppositional. It's in the interest of being a team player that I feel I & my fellow rule-followers could all benefit from a clearer definition of what constitutes a "controversy." How low is the bar? I would hate for a teacher to be censured for saying something like "police should obey the law" because a student complained that they heard the president say they didn't have to. I hope you don't mind that I'm copying [redacted] on this reply, because I'm interested in knowing the union's position. Again, I'd be glad to serve on a committee to revise the language of this policy, whether at a building or county level. I hope everybody has a good weekend & I wish [redacted] safe travels. Respectfully, Cullen Wade (he/him) Classroom teacher: Audio & Film Production; English 9 Monticello High School
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 6: Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) The shape has a nice flow to it, accented by those irregular paving stones. Not quite a naturalistic look, but in that neighborhood.
The logo of the “Horrifically Well-Read, Bled & Said” podcast, with the episode title “Splasher Flicks w/ Cullen Wade”
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 61: Halloween (2007) Look, this is obviously in need of refurbishing, but there's a great pool beneath the grime. It's got those recessed footholds I like in place of a ladder, & a cool off-kilter shape. Good thing it has steps, because watching Michael climb down a pool ladder would not be very scary.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 60: Pooltergeist (1982) People always ask about this one but I don't know how to review an unfinished pool excavation. You want me to judge a hole? I'm only human. P.S. The misspelled movie title above was a typo but I'm keeping it.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 59: The Faculty (1998) I like how the mounts for the starting blocks blend in with the floor pattern, but there's something irksome about that springboard being off-center.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 58: C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud (1989) This teal & pale yellow color scheme seems to be a popular one for schools, since The Craft & A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) also have it. Ceiling's a bit low I think, but it's nice to see what a school pool in America looks like at night with the lights on.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 57: Mermaid Legend (1984) Larger than any single family needs, with a spotless, spacious deck surrounded by manicured but modest-looking vegetation, definitely more than a one-person job to maintain. A pool fit for a plutocrat.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 56: Jennifer's Body (2009) One of the hard things about this job is looking past a pool's superficial condition to try to see its soul. This hot mess of a pool does not make that easy. I like the symmetry of the steps, though. All I can say is there's hope.
S(p)lasher Flicks Pool Reviews Day 55: Burnt Offerings (1976) I love seeing an neglected pool restored to its handsome former self. We don't see it in the film, but there must have been some pressure-washing judging by the condition of those steps. Personally I might have sprung for a paint job.