Sam.

@darleysam.bsky.social

185 Followers 323 Following

Socials for The Longest Johns Reader at Chilliteracy Freelance internet contributor (he/him)

An excerpt from a Rod Liddle article, published in The Spectator. "I never found out because the one thing stopping me from being a teacher was that I could not remotely conceive of not trying to shag the kids."
And so fell into a swoon, as you have seen, because that she did suffer an hundred deaths as she did stand so brave, waiting to be slain, for the blow did be so long delayed, yet to come in any moment.
An image of the Shetland Islands, with a crudely-drawn speech bubble at the bottom as if they are speaking the words contained in the message below
A photo of a PZL-104 Wilga 35 aircraft
Image of a youtube video titled "my longest yeah boy ever"
A hastily-grabbed screenshot of the Marathon map for Dire Marsh, showing the section in West Gate where a road-like part of the map has two motorway bridge structures going over the top of it.
Screenshot of the Victory screen after a run of 33 Immortals, showing the names of the 6 players who survived to the end against what felt like pretty unfavourable odds. I won't be putting their usernames here as there's no need!
A stock image of a hand-grenade being held with one hand, and the pin having been pulled out by the other
Image from the UK dept for education that has been slightly edited. The “pyramid” theory of terrorism. Image of a pyramid, with layers in ascending order labeled “unhappy people”,”looking for justice”, “frustration, perceived grievances and anger”, “seeks like Minded individuals or groups”, “further radicalisation”, “Batman”
Regretting giving myself this task. Album cover for Shel Silverstein's "Crouchin' on the Outside" It shows a bald man with a beard, clad entirely in denim except for sandals, stepping through seawater as it washes over a sandy beach. His back foot is dragging through the sand into the foam of the water as his weight is on his front foot, with his upper body tilted sideways towards the camera. His hands are kind of raised and arms out at crooked angles, like he's doin' a little creepy walk, and this his jaw is set out at an angle. It looks like he's been interrupted having a little creep along the shoreline, or like he's about to turn and maul you.
Ryan Gosling as disaster detective Holland March in The Nice Guys
A picture of the character Jim, from the game Baby Steps
A photo of Google CEO Eric Schmidt wearing a cap and gown, standing in front of a pair of small microphones
A picture of a safe and reliable submersible vehicle designed to transport incredibly wealthy people to the bottom of the sea. On the side is the logo 'Oceangate'.
A famous tweet by the legend Mike F Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
A picture of BBC Question Time where Nigel Farage is sat at a table alongside Simpsons character Moe Szyslak. Moe is holding a can of Duff beer and saying "Ooh a Farage! Well la-di-da Mr Frenchman!"
Screenshot of a truly awful AI-generated advert designed to sell an AI certification program, showing countless weird inconsistencies and quirks that only demonstrate how utterly garbage these 'tools' are. This shot shows a man whose stubble is arranged into some weird, off-kilter grid.
A scene from The Wicker Man where Sergeant Howie is in white robes being escorted away from the sea, with a look of horror on his face. Behind him is Kermit the Frog and Gonzo Summerisle.
Youtube comment saying "Alright, who showed the crew Mountain Monsters on the History Channel?"
Picture of the cover of a LARGE (size, not amount of stories) collection of Algernon Blackwood stories, featuring The Willows. The cover shows wispy smoke-like tendrils of grey, blue, and pink bollowing up to the sky as what appears to be a fire burns below in amongst reed-like grass
A picture of a kitten (white with grey over its ears), with its face morphed into a scowl, and the caption 'not hehe'
A picture of a young man with a dead-eyed glare straight into the camera, the corners of his mouth withdrawn into a simulacrum of a grin, revealing his upper row of teah. A face devoid of expression.
A new option appearing in your right-click menus, saying "AI actions"
Image of a pair of hands, with sleeves looking like Obi Wan's pale robes, picking up a bottle of Cerveza Cristal beer from a box of ice
A screenshot from the LRR pre-prerelease for the new Secrets of Strixhaven set, where Ben is wearing an extremely cool Mothman sports jersey
Screenshot of a bundle promo on Steam combining the games The Talos Principle 2, and I Am Jesus Christ.
McPixel
An image of a brightly coloured cyberpunk anarchist _GANTRY from the game Marathon, a chap who instructs you to fight back against the authorities by breaking some windows and scribbling on walls, except some practical joker (me) has changed his name to _BANKSY instead.
A stylish photo of the book I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend For $200, by Robert Brockway. It is very yellow, and has an image of some kind of little gremlin in a pink conical hat and dress, being stabbed through a broken coffee cup. There is a lot of blood, as expected.
Dennis the Menace (US version, blonde kid in a stripey blue/black tshirt and red dungarees), and Dennis the Menace (superior UIK version, scruffy kid with spiky black hair, a red/black striped long-sleeve tshirt and black shorts, and Gnasher the dog beside him)
Results from some test for identifying between two close colours, where my score is 0.0041 I do not know if this is good.
A very cute long-haired cat, mostly white fur on his body with black/tabby patches on his back, and top of his head like a little hat. He's got a very pointy face for a cat. He's also stopped in the middle of playing with a piece of string to look up at the camera, which is peering down over the side of a wooden bed.
A shot from the film Aliens where Paul Reiser plays the character Burke, who (fittingly-named) is a corporate scumbag.
screenshot of the search box from a Windows Explorer window, saying "try describing an image or file"
Screenshot from the game's Steam page saying the following "Content Creation & Streaming Guidelines You are free to create and stream content as long as you include a link to the store page in the description. There is no copyrighted music or AI-generated content."
An image of the Classic FM logo with a speech-bubble drawn on, as if it's saying the post quoted below
A moody photographer of a lone, stark tree in some moorland. It sits central, on the divide between dimming skies with scattered rags of cloud, backlit by a lowering sun, and scrubby green/brown grass scattered with unkempt tufts.
A stock photo of a standup comedian on stage in front of an audience, with a very obvious getty images watermark on it
A screenshot from the game Max Payne 2 showing Max and Captain Baseball Bat Boy, and the text 12. Max Payne 2 (PC — 10.4 hours) Max Payne 2 is one of the best third person shooters ever made. It is Remedy’s third best game, after Alan Wake 1 and 2 (it’s ahead of Alan Wake’s American Nightmare because of the timeloop stuff that makes the game feel repetitive, despite American Nightmare being excellent). It’s clever, it’s funny, it’s fascinating. It’s a good story. And I remembered how to beat the boss from the last time I played it, which is now 18 years ago. Fuck, I’m getting old. Don’t love that. Great voice acting (for the era), great storytelling… just… there’s a lot to love. It’s not always perfect (some fights can be frustrating, particularly the sniper section), but man, oh man, if you’ve never played it, I guarantee it’s not just worth your time but like…
Cover art for the game Space Trader on the Amstrad computer. It's a gloriously colourful, retro piece of art that shows sci-fi spacemen in some kind of space city, with cool space buildings around and a vivid orange and red sky.
When I contacted OpenAI’s support, the first responses came from an AI agent. Only after repeated enquiries did a human employee respond, but the answer remained the same: the data were permanently lost and could not be recovered.
A still of the actor Toby Jones, wearing headphones, from the film Berberian Sound Studio
A post, by me, saying "Seeing the media reaction to the paracetamol thing, I can't wait for the first day of the post-Trump era when they all slap their hands on their thighs, look around with that wide-eyed bemused smirk, and go "well what was THAT all about, eh? Eh?!" like they weren't eagerly feeding it to us every day"
The Deep, from Amazon TV series The Boys.
Jake Paul's face going sideways after attempting to block a mighty punch with his jaw
A fluffy cat (white with large black/tabby splotches across his body) cradled in a blanket hammock in my lap, photographed from overhead looking directly down. I'm wearing a red hoodie and you can also see the edge of my blue (Chilliteracy, Dracula) desk mat at the edge of the shot
A white plastic sign placed by a car park, with text saying "NO CHEER ZONE"
'Cause I got five more nights of sleeping on my own Four more days until you're coming home 'cause where it all comes from is a mystery it's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea I've got five more nights until you're next to me Four more days of being lonely But here's the one that's driving me berserk Why do only fools and horses work?
A photo of the digital display from a rowing machine, showing 1hr rowed, 2m22 over 500 metres, 12464m rowed royal, and a stroke rate (don't) of 25 per minute (which isn't for the full hour, just the last bit)
Two images of Winnie the Pooh, one where he is sat in his usual red top, and another where he is wearing a tuxedo and looking kinda smug
A picture of Simpsons character Sideshow Bob, with a crudely drawn speech bubble coming from his mouth
Screenshot of an extract from a Steam review for Citizen Sleeper 2, which reads: "But the English being done by someone not quite 100% fluent made some of the more subtle decisions painful. I decided after the first few cycles to roll with it, but just kept getting punished time and time again. I've probably spent 30% of my time in the game trying to change decisions I made in the first 10 cycles... Then it ends...Wellspring, can't go back....I guess my big issue is the writing or poor translation into English. Juni, Flint, Bliss...and the ending...just made me feel like 50 hours of my life was pointless waste."
Revenge/physical combat was how people settled things for literally millions of years, it's normal human behavior, we're wolves not sheep, the government project trying to social engineer us and domesticate us into sheep has been unsuccessful
Screenshot from Steam showing new SEGA game Sonic Rumble, and their description of it that reads "Ready, Set, Rumble! Join Sonic in this intense arcade royale game set in Dr. Eggman's diabolical Toy World. Collect legendary skins, all-new emotes, and build skills as you progress through this action-packed game! Mayhem is best with friends!" It then shows 'All Reviews' as being 'Mostly Negative'
A picture of TV celebrity Ant McPartlin
A picture of a Double Decker next to a pen, for scale. The chocolate bar is absolutely dwarfed. Without the packaging it's like half the length of a pen. It is not "fun-size" or branded any other way to indicate that it is smaller than regular. It's just what it is now. Thanks sugar tax, and thanks shrinkflation.