DasLyfe

@daslyfe.com

54 Followers 66 Following

Dad with dad jokes. Typically irreverent. Sometimes a Twitch gamer and YouTube Noob. Not a ballerina.

“This escape room sucks.” Says the man. “Once again sir, this is Earth.” Says the nurse tending to him.
Danger Quarry sign in foreground, nature path winding past, and a watery quarry just before the ocean horizon in the background. No danger noodles visible.
Room thermometer reading 96.1 deg F
Sage green trash can with waffle pattern and triangular swing top lid held up against a matching floral wallpaper
Shirt reading “I’m Not Anxious I’m Just On Vibrate Mode”
#dadjoke What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
What kind of nut can often be found in a toilet? A pee nut. #DadJoke
This is a bored, flying #SuperDog or it would be if it had a green screen
Dog holds a stick like a rejected Hogwarts applicant. #dogsofbluesky #ckcs
Her: You can use your passport if you don't have a Real ID, yes? Me: Correct. Real ID is only required for domestic air travel or to enter federal buildings.So if I ever commit a federal crime, not having a Real ID is a nice loophole because they can't try me if I can't enter the courthouse, right?
My tri-color cavalier puppy covers my face with one paw and deadpans to the camera as I read to him the details of where bully sticks come from. They’re penises. No bull. Well, Bull penis, but otherwise, no bull.
The Virgin Mary spreads her arms and gazes down upon a bottle of Angels Envy rye
Otis, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy, allows an oversized doggie sweater to cover his modesty while snoozing on his back in a puppy bed that could easily double as a ruthless authoritarian leader’s furry hat.
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy cocks his head for the camera while chewing on the corner of a blanket. His cuteness expertly hides his evil.
A textured, black cell phone cover blends into the textured, black surface of a desk.
Meme Caption: “When you finally find out who drank all your beers” Image: Fred from Scooby Doo unmasks a bound ghost in the first frame… only to discover it was him (Fred) all along as they stare back at each other on the final frame.
PZ character Das Lyfe wears a wizard hat and bloody clothes, showing character stats for 5.5 days of in game time and 209 kills.
Cavalier King Charles puppy sleeps on his back in a dog bed, limbs splayed and belly ready to be woken with tummy rubs.