David August ❌👑

@davidaugust.bsky.social

5156 Followers 3223 Following

Actor. Writer. May have been in that thing you saw that one time (Dependent's Day, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Second City/Chicago Shakespeare). @davidaugust@mastodon.online https://www.davidaugust.com/

screenshot of a post by @cROw@infosec.exchange: HIGHLY ISOLATED WITH GUARDRAILS [four panes of photos of a gate blocking a walking path but no fencing or obstacles on either side of the gate other than open lawn, a person variously “struggles” to figure out how to get past the gate and eventually just curls up on the fetal position, defeated] Jul 23, 2026 at 9:16 AM
A cat jumps over a gate that was “blocking” a hallway and continues walking on its way.
[over a photo, that's had its colors skewed purple, of RFK Jr.] The following diseases have surged as RFK Jr. and Trump have cut public health and pushed vaccine disinformation: • Measles • Flu • Rotavirus • Whooping Cough • Ebola • Hantavirus • Cyclosporiasis • E. coli • Campylobacteriosis • Listeria • Cryptosporidiosis • Infant botulism Measles: https://www.cdc.gov/measles/data-research/index.html Flu (Influenza): https://www.nejm.org/outbreaks Rotavirus: https://www.cdc.gov/surveillance/nrevss/index.html Whooping Cough: https://www.cdc.gov/outbreaks/index.html Ebola: https://www.nejm.org/outbreaks Hantavirus: https://www.cdc.gov/hantavirus/surveillance/index.html Cyclosporiasis: https://www.newsweek.com/americas-worst-foodborne-illness-outbreaks-as-cyclospora-cases-surge-12214247 E. coli: https://www.fda.gov/food/outbreaks-foodborne-illness/public-health-advisories-investigations-foodborne-illness-outbreaks Campylobacteriosis: https://www.cdc.gov/foodborne-outbreaks/outbreaks/index.html Listeria: https://www.newsweek.com/americas-worst-foodborne-illness-outbreaks-as-cyclospora-cases-surge-12214247 Cryptosporidiosis: https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/measles/us-measles-cases-approach-last-year-s-record-setting-total Infant Botulism: https://www.fda.gov/food/outbreaks-foodborne-illness/public-health-advisories-investigations-foodborne-illness-outbreaks
still frame of Matt Damen as Odysseus in the movie The Odyssey looking very distressed with an open mouth shouting expression
It Always Has Been Meme format: two astronauts in space suits with Earth in the background. One astronaut points a gun at the other. Text said by astronaut closer to earth is: "Wait, it was Russia, Russia, Russia?" and test said by second astronaut further from earth and aiming a gun at the first astronaut is: "Always has been."
screenshot of a post by Pete Hegseth @PeteHegseth: The flyovers will continue until morale improves. Jul 16, 2026 • 1:30 PM UTC
A painting of composer George Fredrick Handel with a red circle and a line through it.
screenshot of a post by erika_lucas07: Let me see if I'm understanding their theory correctly... • When Donald won in 2016, Obama was in office, ran the intelligence agencies, and the election was secure. • When Donald won in 2024, Biden was in office, ran the intelligence agencies, and the election was secure. • When Donald lost in 2020 and now heading into the midterms, with Donald running the intelligence agencies, he says the election was stolen or can't be trusted. Did I get that right? [2 melting face emojis]
[Taco Bell abstract purple bell logo] TACO BELL Now offering Public Health and Food Safety Because your country’s health agency should offer chalupas and Baja blasts too.
Still frame of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s climactic duel at the end of Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan is labeled “Iran” and Anakin is labeled “USMC deploying without Congressional authorization to Kharg Island” and the line from the moment in the movie is written above: “It’s over…I have the high ground.”
Sometimes I use words I don't understand so l can sound more photosynthesis. [over a classical painting: An Old Scholar c. 1645; Amsterdam (then Dutch Republic), Netherlands by Salomon Koninck]
screenshot of a post by MyPetJawa @mypetjawa: [Replying to @3YearLetterman @WaffleHouse @ MillerLite] "Belgium is two, maybe three months away from developing a nuclear weapon." [President trump speaking at the White House flanked by just dance vance, marco “polo” rubio, and pete kegsbreath] Jul 6, 2026 • 2:29 PM UTC
screenshot of a post by Lazarou Monkey Terror @Lazarou@mastodon.social: Today, the Voyager 1 spacecraft is 25.50 billion kilometres away from your bullshit. Jul 3, 2026 at 4:23PM
Screenshot of a post by Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates: 8 Nov 2025 So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend’s or relative’s accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated , uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the “most wealthy person in the world.”
painting of a woman who is stunningly haunted, by Brom and titled Laurie Lee (2016)
screen capture of a post by @acyn: Trump: Who here did not vote for Trump? *hand raised* Trump: He thinks he's being cute as he gets pounded on [video of potus during this sequence] [reply by @LT0771] Very kind of trump to only say gay shit for pride month Jun 23, 2026 8:38 PM UTC
A still from the film Apocalypse Now showing a shirtless U.S. Army officer wearing a black cavalry hat and dog tags crouching between two armed soldiers on a smoke-filled battlefield. Fires burn in the background near a river, with additional troops visible in the distance.
screenshot of a post by Lauren Underwood @laurenaunderwood: Republicans didn't cut "government waste." They cut your health care. They cut your social security. They cut your retirement. They cut your SNAP. AND they raised your taxes. They're just hoping you don't notice.
video showing a US made hornet drone being lifted by a weather balloon-like balloon and then launching from height. Video includes various phases of the flight, and strike like options. It is watermarked as from KettleTech Labs.
screenshot of a post by Fesshole @fesshole@mastodon.social: Office has a censor filter in internal comms to replace swear words with other terms. Added a rule changing "Al" to "my cat", so we get "According to my cat..." and "I asked my cat and it said..." Jun 12, 2026 at 1:20 PM
An infographic titled "Iran's Ballistic and Cruise Missiles" showing a map of Iran with missile range circles (300km, 500km, 800km, 1,300km, 2,000km, 2,500km) and illustrations of various Iranian missiles with their names and ranges. The text describes Iran's missile arsenal and capabilities. Notably this graphic shows that Iran does not field a weapons system capable of striking Metropolitan France nor the UK.
screenshot of a post by Tony Camilli @tony_camilli@threads.net: So let me get this straight. Democrats have invented an untraceable, undetectable method for rigging elections and rather than using that to win the presidency, they used it to win a mayoral race in a famously blue city in a famously blue state that pitted a seasoned politician against a widely-disliked reality TV personality with no discernible skills or redeeming qualities. Diabolical is right. Jun 8, 2026 at 5:31PM .
A man’s face twists upward, wailing toward the heavens in a crimson glow, alone, in agony.
screenshot of a post by coffee_revelations_ 5/28/26 The White House is a trap house. The resident has 3 baby mamas, 34 felonies, gets shot at all the time, and there are now fights on the front lawn. [photo of the ufc octagon stadium under construction outside the White House]
Nature Made L-Lysine vitamin bottles.
screenshot of a post by camimc77: I don't think a ballroom is safe for security anyway. Anyone could waltz in there.
screenshot of a three post conversation starting with a post by Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com: Guys we need communism [reply by Love for All @stoporangefascism.bsky.social]: My grandfather fought against the Soviets in WW2. No. Full stop. [reply by -mox @moxiest.art]: so... sorry, just one quick follow-up...
screenshot of the YouTube video of Colbert's community access show in Monroe Michigan as a collaboration between Stephen Colbert, Monroe Community Media and, inexplicably, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
An RSVP card with Trump's handwritten signature, response options for "Accepts," "Regrets," or Will be at false flag" (which is marked), a line for the number of guests attending, and a section for dietary restrictions. The text includes "Please respond by May 5th" and a QR code for online reply to Bettinna Anderson and Donald Trump Jr. The card is decorated with floral illustrations.
Promotional image for a Memorial Day sale. Text at the top reads "Memorial Day sale features $13 Tees and up to 40% off everything else". Featuring a light blue t-shirt, a yellow baseball cap, and a white mug, all with the text "I would kill them with kindness, but all I have are incendiary rounds" and a diagram of an incendiary bullet. The website address "davidaugust.threadless.com" is displayed at the bottom.
A digital graphic with the SAG-AFTRA logo, the text "2026 TV/Theatrical Contracts Vote Now," and a background of interconnected screens displaying various scenes.
In some kind of outdoor shopping center, there is a little island for plants with a statue of a coyote in it. A sign next to it says "FAKE COYOTE - GOOSE DETERRENT." In the background two Canada geese are strolling around totally unbothered.
Screenshot of a post by Jon Munitz @JonMunitz: Universal Basic Income doesn’t need to be studied more. #UBI has been studied over & over & over again, it’s massively successful every single time! What we need is public pressure, reforms to make legislators more responsive & courage from politicians to be real leaders! Dec 19, 2023 · 10:27 PM UTC
A three-panel comic showing a man in a red cap and tie riding a bicycle, sticking a stick into the spokes, and falling off with the text "BIDEN!!!" in the final panel.
Screenshot of a post by Senator Mark Kelly @SenMarkKelly We had this conversation in a public hearing a week ago and you said it would take “years” to replenish some of these stockpiles. That’s not classified, it’s a quote from you. This war is coming at a serious cost and you and the president still haven’t explained to the American people what the goal is. [video of hegseth saying it will take years to replenish] [quote of a post by Pete Hegseth @PeteHegseth] “Captain” Mark Kelly strikes again. Now he’s blabbing on TV (falsely & dumbly) about a *CLASSIFIED* Pentagon briefing he received. Did he violate his oath…again? @DeptofWar legal counsel will review.
screenshot of a post by Mcgonagle @geordiemcg.bsky.social I left Northern Ireland to come here to play soccer in 1981. It was at the height of the troubles. When I left my mates called me a lucky bastard for getting to go live in America. Last month I was home in Ireland for a wedding. The same people told me how sorry they were for me having to live here. 9:10 PM • May 7, 2026
A cartoon of two men in suits facing each other, with one explaining to the other in a speech bubble: "Okay Donald, one more time: When you are attacked, like on 9/11 in 2001, NATO allies come to your aid. When you attack, take over, threaten to annex or destroy the civilization of another country, NATO allies come to the conclusion you are a complete and total nutbar." The caption reads, "Charles' message to Donald translated from the King's English.”
screenshot of a post by mrsgordn: My son is taking part in a social experiment. He has to wear a MAGA hat and see how people react. So far he's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him! I'm curious to see what happens when he goes outside.
screenshot of a post by Mary Talley Bowden MD Red letters: False Information Hantavirus is a RNA virus, and ivermectin should work against it. Ivermectin blocks RNA viruses from entering the nucleus, inhibits viral replication, disrupts integrity of the viral membrane and can prevent viral replication. May 6, 2026 • 6:58 PM UTC
A white t-shirt with the text "Imposter Syndrome Expert" where "Expert" is crossed out in red and the phrase "not really, sorry" written below the cross out.
screenshot of a post by colindmcintosh 4/27/26 "Ballroom Republicans" is the perfect thing to brand them as. Every single Democrat should be repeating "Ballroom Republicans" over and over and over again. It is worse than "let them eat cake" — while you can't pay rent or get healthcare or find a job, the GOP is completely and utterly absorbed with building a fucking ballroom for their lavish DC parties. Ballroom Republicans
A product promo image showcasing a blue tank top, mug, magnet, sticker, tote bag, featuring a design of toilet paper rolls on fire with the text "everything is brittle and at the mercy of anyone angry enough to poke it". The website "davidaugust.threadless.com" is displayed at the bottom.
Screenshot of a post by djt: The United States is studying and reviewing the possible reduction of Troops in Germany, with a determination to be made over the next short period of time. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP Apr 29, 2026 4:48 PM
Screenshot of a post by djt: The United States is studying and reviewing the possible reduction of Troops in Germany, with a determination to be made over the next short period of time. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP Apr 29, 2026 4:48 PM
Chelsea Spirito walks us through a few headlines and then invites us to This Week This Week's show this week in LA.
Left post by Michael Knowles dated November 1, 2019: "Comedians should not lose their jobs for telling jokes, and professors should not lose their jobs for discussing ideas. On the other hand, journalists should indeed lose their jobs for libel, just as a pilot would lose his job for crashing a plane." Right post by Michael Knowles dated April 27, 2026: "Kimmel should obviously be fired."
Two screenshot of a post by the White House: King Charles III and potus stand in suits side by side laughing outside the White House, with a Union Jack flag held by a flag bearer and a podium with the presidential seal visible in the background. The text "TWO KINGS" and a crown emoji is the caption. "King" in red is written over King Charles, "Royalist Scum" in red is written over potus.
A group of people in formal attire standing behind a podium with the presidential seal in a White House press briefing room, with an audience clapping in the foreground and a blue curtain, American flag, and White House emblem in the background.
A screenshot of two posts: the first by Donald J. Trump requesting the release of women held by Iranian leaders and offering appreciation for their potential release; the second by Eyal Yakoby stating that the Islamic Republic is preparing to hang eight women, with a collage of eight AI generated photos of the women below the tweet.
Companies are going to get refunds for tariffs they already raised prices to pay for in a country that teaches everyone as kids that it is justified to start shooting people if taxes on our breakfast beverages are too high. Good luck with that CEOs, sleep well. [a live drawing of a crate labeled “Boston tea” floating in the Boston harbor with a sailing ship and city skyline in the background]
A promotional image for a $14 tee-shirt sale featuring five different t-shirt designs: 1. A light yellow shirt with the text "Imposter Syndrome Expert (not really, sorry)." 2. A green shirt with the text "HUMAN KIND BE BOTH." 3. A blue shirt with the text "I'M IN THE WRONG TIMELINE." 4. A white shirt with the text "Deny, Defend, Depose." 5. An orange shirt with a ghost graphic and the text "IF ONE DOOR CLOSES AND ANOTHER ONE OPENS YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED." 6. A black shirt with the word "VOTE" in a American flag style font. The text at the top reads "$14 Tees, $14 Regular & Classic Tees, $14 Kids Tees, $17 Extra Soft & Fitted Tees, Up to 35% off Everything Else (sale prices as marked). Sale ends April 23rd at 5 PM CDT." The website "davidaugust.threadless.com" is displayed at the bottom.
trump and the American delegation sit in a conference room opposite an empty Iranian side. trump posts from his phone that negotiations are going well. Time passes. trump asks where there Iranians are. An aide gives trump a paper from the Iranians that says, "trump, shut up." trump considers and then says the ceasefire will be extended at the request of the Pakistanis.
A perfect baked potato 🥔
6. National service should be a universal duty. We should, as a society, seriously consider moving away from an all-volunteer force and only fight the next war if everyone shares in the risk and the cost. 7. If a U.S. Marine asks for a better rifle, we should build it; and the same goes for software. We should as a country be capable of continuing a debate about the appropriateness of military action abroad while remaining unflinching in our commitment to those we have asked to step into harm’s way.
Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP 4/5/26, 7:03 AM
Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP 4/5/26, 7:03 AM
Post by the user "cosmic_background" with the text "The real story of Artemis, the perfect heist," featuring two side-by-side photos of a man near a rocket launchpad: in the first photo, he bends down holding a backpack as if about to stuff the rocket into it, and in the second photo, the rocket is no longer on the launchpad, he is walking away wearing the backpack and peering out from behind his sunglasses warily.
A performer walks on his hands, shadow puppets kiss which entertains a crowd, the devil appears in the sky above the city and spreading his wing blots out the sun, the shadow puppets are foiled as the sun is blocked, the hand walker keeps hand walking, black smoke emerges from the devil and envelopes the town, the hand walker collapses, tries to rise and collapses again, crowd member rush to him and take off his mask. Video: Faust – A German Folktale (1926) directed by F. W. Murnau, produced by Ufa, Emil Jannings as Mephisto Audio: Igor Stravinsky: Le Sacre du printemps (revised version from 1947) / Sir Simon Rattle, conductor • Berliner Philharmoniker / Recorded at the Berlin Philharmonie, 9 November 2012
Article I Legislative Branch Section 4 Congress Clause 1 Elections Clause The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Places of chusing Senators.
Ecoregion PA0446: Zagros Mountains forest steppe - by Terpsichores https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ecoregion_PA0446.svg#mw-jump-to-license