Derek French

@derekfrench.bsky.social

242 Followers 137 Following

Live Ops Senior Producer at Beamdog. Formerly a producer at BioWare.

Sign with a drawing of sad looking plate with a word balloon saying "Have you seen my family?" Heartbreaking.
Screenshot of the start of a Bluesky post with the already entered words "your potential swift and brutal" and the phone next word suggestions of "dubstep", "dildo", and "death" after the letter "d" was pressed on the keyboard.
A handsome scaly boi/gurl. Doing their thing on a crossover walk way. Beautiful.
Website news screenshot with the title "Knife-wielding racist arrested after sexually assaulting a refrigerator at Trader Joe's."
Picture of food item on a menu with the caption: D6 Black Glutinous Sticky
Screenshot from a LinkedIn email saying I should follow Jordan Peterson. No one should follow Jordan Peterson.
A screenshot of the new MS Defender screen that has my wife's name and is using her account.
A picture of a DVD box set of Little House on the Prairie in which the "use" letters of House are covered by a price sticker, so it reads "Little Ho on the Prairie". Textual conversation as follows: Mom: Do not desecrate my childhood heroine in this manner. Dad: I am sure they are talking about that one on the right. (note: this is referring to the mean girl in the show whose name I am forgetting) Mom: She was a bitch, not a ho.
Meme image with following text: How was your 2024? Me: Written by Stephen King Directed by Quentin Tarantino Soundtrack by Yoko Ono
GIF of Hans Gruber falling at the end of Die Hard with the caption: It's not Christmas until Hans Gruber falls from Nakatomi Plaza.
Photo of a man accessing a ceiling vent with the caption: Don't forget to leave cigarettes, shoes and a twinkie in the ductwork for John McClain on Christmas Eve.
Picture of a Christmas wreath with a picture of the Star Trek character, Kahn, in the middle.
Picture of the children's book "Hookers and Blow Save Christmas". Two cartoon vehicles on the cover, one a tow truck, the other a snow plow with a snow blower on the front.
Cartoon of the opening scene of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with Santa and an elf. Caption reads: We were somewhere around Longyearbyen on the edge of Norway when the 'nog began to take hold.
Picture of baked cookies that look like nipples. Caption reads: Didn't have any Hershey Kisses so I used chocolate bells instead and now I'm serving Christmas Nipples at the school bake sale.
Picture or a wide-eyed bearded person, sweating, implying Santa on drugs. Caption reads: The look on Santa's face when my cookies kick in.
Social media post stating: In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and fucks off like 20 miles east.
PC video game box cover for MDK2.
Screenshot of a social media post saying: This is your annual reminder that you can sing Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" to the tune of "Deck the Halls" and vice versa. "Gen'rals gathered in their masses fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaa Just like witches at black masses fa-la-la-la-laaaa, la-la-laaa-laaaa"
Screenshot of a social media post. Holy infant so tender and mild implies the existence of a cursed infant so chewy and spicy.
Picture of a snowy field and a sign from the city of Calgary with instructions for building an igloo. Caption reads "Finally, Calgary has an affordable houseing plan!"
Post from a Santa Claus account: "A valiant effort has been made by Little Tim this year, who for some reason has decided to change his name to..." then an SQL injection attack string to move everyone from the Naughty LIst to the Nice List. "HO! HO! HO! Nice try Tim. I don't use SQL, I use several dozen interconnected Excel spreadsheets, like a professional."
Increasingly concerned anime woman with the labels: Santa comes down the chimney. Santa says "You made the naughty list." Santa has an HP bar. "Carol of the Bells" starts playing. The lyrics kick in... in Latin! Final picture looks like a giant Santa Claus boss in a Dark Souls game.
Image with caption "Why you don't put Christmas lights on palm trees". Photo shows palm trees at night, tightly wrapped in lights with a bulge at the top of the tree and light strings going out to the branches. The whole thing looks like giant penises orgasming.
Screenshot of words. Fun Christmas idea: Hang mistletoe but instead of kissing you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Mistlefoe™ SOMEONE'S HALLS ARE GETTING DECKED
Photo of Gritty, a hockey mascot, with the phrase "you better watch out" stated 4 times in ever increasing capital letters.
Image with 2 people. Left image is of Jason Momoa, shirtless from the movie Aquaman, titled "Front of the Christmas Tree". Right image is Rob Schneider as Ula from the movie 50 First Dates, titled "Back of the Christmas Tree".
Picture of a house with a large front porch area with paned windows on 2 sides of the house. There are 2 panes on the left, 7 on the front. Someone has used spray snow to write "LET IT SNOW" with each letter on the window panes, except "LE" is on the side and the front reads "TITS NOW!".
Text reading: *Flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thing. If Santa knows when kids are naughty or nice then he knew that Rudolph was being bullied.
Painting of a madonna with a halo, wearing a circle A anarchy shirt, lighting a Molotov cocktail with her cigarette. Caption reads "Let's get this war on Christmas started..."
Sign in a library saying "Fire do not enter"
Screenshot from the Wordle game showing the guesses "Light", "Sperm", and the correct guess of "Scone".
Photo of Correne Refsahl-Jensen, my wife, holding her Master's degree in International Affairs from Carleton University.
A picture of Star Trek's General Martok grinning overlaid with the Pride flag and the words "Glory to you and your identity."
A 3D printed trophy, misaligned, with a placard spilling over the side labeled "World's Best CSS Developer"
Picture of elevator floor buttons labeled L, G, and M.
My new Division 2 character who looks a lot like Rob Schneider's character, Ula, from 50 First Dates.
Our new dog, Mona, a brown bully mix.
Yorkshire news website showing a black bird staring at the photographer. Story title is "Pure evil black bird named Derek terrorising Yorkshire village and attacking children"
4 photos of someone dressed like Samara from The Ring in a glass aquarium just about her size, on a wheeled rack. Caption reads "You need to give your domesticated wading ghosts larger death pools. I understand if you can't find a real Well, but you need an enclosure at least 5 times the size of the spirit itself."
White coffee mug with a photo of our family out at a winter event on Whyte Avenue.
A wide, white Starbucks mug with the label New York and a stylized New York skyline.
Black coffee mug with a Darth Vader image and the words "I am your father" above.
Black BlizzCon X, 2016 coffee mug.