Dgar

@dgar.bsky.social

5329 Followers 1293 Following

Name: Jon O’Hare Stage Name: Dgar - pronounced “Jar” Random thoughts, memes, stolen jokes, Oxford commas, and my indie music. Like = Marked As Read #DgarMusic Check out my tunes! Bandcamp: https://dgar.bandcamp.com Everywhere else: https://ffm.bio/dgar

Trump standing at a podium presenting a version of the US Stars and Stripes flag that features stars on a green background. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Photo of Kiss guitarist with Gene Wilder’s face photoshopped in. Caption: Like Gene Simmons only Wilder.
A photo of someone’s bare feet with a postage stamp on each foot. Caption: If you're happy and you know it
when you notice there is a hair on your screen Image shows a closeup of Jerry’s smiling face (of “Tom and Jerry” cartoon fame) The image includes a fine curved line that crosses the image and text.
Sarah Connor watching you pretend your little Al music is a real band. [Image of Linda Hamilton as Sarah Conner smoking a cigarette with a thousand-yard stare]
Leonardo Da Vinci drew pictures of birds years before the CIA invented them
Pronounced Jar [Dgar logo on a black background with a red glow] 1.5.26
CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT TRUMP! Daniel Laruso of The Karate Kid hands Donald Trump the champion trophy. 1984 ALL VALLEY KARATE CHAMPION!
Image of Issac Newton inventing homosexuality.
A lone wooden post in a grassy field. Caption: A NON POLITICAL POST YOU'RE WELCOME
Handwritten paper sign taped to a wall reads: ONLY TOILET PAPER DOWN THE LOO NO UNSUPERVISED CHILDREN THANK YOU
Photo of a book, opened at the first page. Chapter One THE EVE OF THE WAR No-one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that human affairs are being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No-one could have dreamed that we being scrutinised, as some with a microscope studies creatures that swarm & multiply in a drop of water. Few men even consider the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Earth with envious eyes and, slowly and surely they drew their plans against us. "Dum! Dum daaaaaaaah?' demanded a furious string section. The air was thick with D minor. "Dum! dum? daaaaaaaaah!, they insisted. Dum! dum! daaaaaaah?' they asked again, their urgency redoubling and then. by way of answering their own strange and terrible question, came to a grim, resigned conclusion. Dum! dum! daaaaaaaaah. There was moment of stiliness, and then there came a disco beat so tight, so in ther pocket, that I can still recall it with near perfect vividity. The muscular exertion of the sixtrenth-notes on the hi- hat and the solid four-on-the-foor of the kick drum was absolutely electric. Any thought of not moving one's body to a tight groove of such intense excitement was swiftly gone. "Dum! dum! daaaaaaah?" said the phased horn sound of a Yamaha C.S.80 synthesiser. The rhythm section continued its merciless flight from inertia. Dum! dum! damaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?"
Feint ruled paper with a red margin line has the words “My Day” handwritten in black ink and covered with a rectangle of solid fluorescent yellow highlighter. This was the highlight of my day.
Drawing of a music teacher and student at a piano. This is called sheet music. You can show this to a "lead guitar player" to make them stop playing.
Image of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A You can't always control who comes into your life But you can control which airlock you throw them out of
The Butterfly Ball And The Grasshoppers Feast By Roger Glover and Friends.
A photo of a wooden pallet sitting flat on a lawn, viewed from the end.
A golden retriever wearing headphones and sitting at a computer. Caption: “Oh man, this whole mix needs more 55khz”
A dead fish is floating on the surface of the water. A seagull is standing upon it. “I don't know a lot about fish Pretty sure this is a perch though”
HERE'S A PICTURE OF ME WITH YOU [Image of Earth]
Is - Isn't Was - Wasn't Photo of a Fez - Photo of a pheasant.
Customisable roadside sign with black and red lettering reads: CAN WE JUST ADMIT WE MAY HAVE TAKEN THIS "ANYONE CAN GROW UP TO BE PRESIDENT" THING JUST A BIT TOO FAR... ?
Harry Kim: I wonder how I can impress Seven of Nine. Tom Paris: Tell her, "You're an eight on a scale of ten." Later… Harry Kim to Seven of Nine: Urinate on a skeleton.
A Bird-of-Prey appears on the arm under purple light.
Five people in black clothing standing in a snow-covered forest. 75% OF A FINNISH PARK RANGER'S JOB IS RESCUING METAL BANDS THAT GET LOST SHOOTING ALBUM COVERS
Anakin: I don't want to go to school today. Shmi: It's ok Ani, you can stay home. Teacher to the class later that day: Today kids, we learn about the high ground.
“Loving my new Klingon Bird of Prey tattoo!!!” [Image: Someone (unknown - not Dgar) pulls their shirt sleeve back to reveal the back of their shoulder. There is no tattoo.]
[A map of Australia with the names of US states superimposed to show areas that share similar cultural and environmental characteristics] A MAP OF AUSTRALIA FOR AMERICANS Alabama - Northern Northern Territory Florida - Far North Queensland Arizona - Southern Northern Territory Arkansas - West Queensland Texas - Western Australia Nevada - Western South Australia Utah - North-Eastern South Australia West Virginia - Western New South Wales South Carolina - Central Queensland North Carolina - South East Queensland Massachusetts - Northern New South Wales Washington - Southern South Australia DC - Australian Capital Territory Alaska - Tasmania California - Victoria (should be Southern New South Wales) New York - Southern New South Wales (should be Victoria)
Sign reads: No One Saves You More On MILK Lore points out to Data that this sign can also be read: No One Saves MILK You More On
A car port with a damaged roof and a collapsed column/support. A ginger cat rests on the roof at the epicentre of the damage. Remember.. CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION
Bart Simpson worst day meme, Putin as Bart and Zelenskyy as Homer. Putin: This is the worst day of my life. Zelenskyy: The worst day of your life so far
Yoda tells Luke a joke during training. “WHY WAS FIVE AFRAID OF SEVEN? BECAUSE SIX SEVEN EIGHT”
dog shampoo [A bottle of BURT'S BEES for Dogs oatmeal shampoo.] dog conditioner [Ivan Pavlov]
Screenshot of scam password reset email from rnicrosoft. The "m" in the email address is actually an r and an n. Look, I did it in the first line of this AltText!!
Playing my instrument [Biden stands on the steps of Airforce One] Playing the same instrument except I'm recording it [Biden falls down the steps of Airforce One]
A photo of a collapsed gingerbread with a toy T-Rex standing over it. Caption: IF YOUR GINGERBREAD HOUSE FAILS ADD A DINOSAUR. Tag at bottom appears to credit: simple daily finds.
Obi-Wan: Do not defy the council, Master, not again Qui-Gon: I want you to listen to me very carefully, Obi-Wan. F*ck the Council.
Nurse Chapel, Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy, and First Officer Spock, stand in the medical bay observing a red shirt on a medical bed. Chapel: Bones, what happened? McCoy: Ensign Smalldick got upset when Data said, "Fuck Nazis" and then literally died mad about it. Spock: LOL. Fuckin' awesome.
A silhouette of a guitarist playing on a stool. It's normal to feel like you suck. Play anyway.
Picard: I'M GOING TO MAKE A MEME. Beverly: YOU'RE NOT JUST GOING TO COPY THAT STAR WARS ONE, ARE YOU? Picard: … Beverly: YOU'RE NOT JUST GOING TO COPY THAT STAR WARS ONE, ARE YOU?
Rule 1: Never publicly share sensitive Data over the Internet. Image of an upset looking Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation, holding a ginger cat and crying ginger tears.
Reading self-help books like: Renaissance man reading a paper intensely. "Surround yourself with people who-" Renaissance man appears concerned. “Surround myself with people??”
A kookaburra on a log. There is an optical illusion where one sees a goats face in the feather markings.
Guitarist: youtube.com/foddpoorel I've been playing guitar for over 10 years. Them: So you're, like, really good then? Guitarist: *looks sad ~ youtube.com/foddpoorel
Eurasian cranes in a V formation. Image by Hamid Hajihusseini
Two people lay on the grass gazing at the sky. “That cloud looks like an elephant!” “That looks like a mushroom!” Both people a vaporised.
When someone tries to shoot you in America, but the thoughts and prayers finally kick in [Image from The Matrix. Neo raises a hand and stops a hail of bullets with his mind]
Lettering on the back of an emergency service vehicle is separated mid-word by a door seal, and so reads: FIRE ME DIC UNIT
Drawing depicts a military ship approaching a heavily overcrowded boat of refugees. A uniform from the ship asks “WHERE ARE YOU FROM” The reply from the refugees “EARTH” Artist unknown
280 MILLION YEARS OLD SALT EXPIRES IN 3 YEARS Photo of pair of salt shakers. The label reads “ÜBER 280 MILLIONEN JAHRE ALTES KALAHARI SALZ GOURMET SALZ The back has an expiry date.
An artist’s impression of a tribe of hunters hunting a woolly mammoth.
Picard: MONEY'S TIGHL I’M EXPERIMENTING WITH BREEDING RACING DEER Riker: SO, YOURE LOOKING TO MAKE A QUICK BUCK Both: *facepalm
An image of a vault jumpsuit hanging over an alter.
Data is explaining to Picard: Leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources have softer hides, rated A. Data continues: But hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are D Hide-Rated. Credit: Riker's Beard
Peanuts comic strip by Charles M. Schulz. Schroeder is playing his piano while Lucy lounges against it. Lucy: WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PRACTICE FOR TWENTY YEARS, AND THEN END UP NOT BEING RICH AND FAMOUS? Schroeder: THE JOY IS IN THE PLAYING The conversation pauses while Lucy lets that sink in. Lucy: YOU'RE KIDDING!
PRESENT Tense [Image of a Sea Horse swimming in the ocean] PAST Tense [Image of a wooden Saw Horse from a carpenter’s workshop]
The outlines of two tethered astronauts. Caption: I can’t find any milk for my coffee. In space no one can, here use cream.
A black circle with a green wedge sliced through the centre. A legend showing a red square labelled Pie charts. Heading: Things I don’t understand
Photo of an old stone well, covered in moss, with a small pitched roof and a bucket hanging from a rope.
Australia - The shape of Australia in Gold Agstralia - The shape of Australia in Silver Custralia - The shape of Australia in Copper