Jon Blyth

@disappointment.bsky.social

1368 Followers 723 Following

But you can call me Log. I run a lovely inclusive pub in Nottingham and do an absolutely gorgeous podcast called Regular Features with my friends. Wrote about video games for a bit. G with the LBTQ+

What the skeet says, but the camera is pointing upwards from directly underneath the pylon, creating the feeling that you’re inside a geometrical corridor, maybe the agriculture section of a space station? I hope this isn’t annoying alt text
A close up of the previous shot. You can no longer see the maraca toucans
My feet in the classic on holiday pose, only I’m wearing socks with toucans playing maracas on them, and you can see our tiny shit garden instead of a sunbed and the hotel pool. THERE IS A BUTTERFLY ON MY TOE and he’s been there for AGES
Lurky from 1984 Rainbow Brite. A friendly spherical brown flump of a guy with untied red shoes. He has a large pendulous nose onto which a more childish person would draw a bell-end. I simply cannot see this guy being an agent for evil. He must have been a yes-man who got led astray by Murky Dismal and the Dark Princess. Absolute cutie-pie
An outstretched palm containing the tiniest strawberry you ever did see
It’s the keep fit guy from Duolingo who goes insane when you get everything right, and qualify for hard mode in the last three questions. He asked me to translate Tu as continué à travailler quand tes collègues faisaient grève ? Which is, in English, You continued to work when your colleagues were going on strike?
There is no way I can adequately provide context for this 1980s crow filled soft drink advert, and as it is a reply to a friend and I am tipsy you’ll just have to forgive me
A corridor in Nottingham’s Victoria Centre. Boarded-up shop fronts are the result of the owners trying to clear out the old market place. Only one hold-out remains, Aladdin’s Cave. The treasures for sale fill the corridor, and include household cleaning items, shopping trolleys, and a 7ft tall stuffed bear in a metal cage, posed as though he is beckoning you over. If you want to support the little man against the evil developers - it’s a classic A-Team episode plot - visit Tink at Aladdin’s Cave. For all your various and generic needs!
A copy of The Butch Manual by Clark Henley. The cover features a muscular guy doing bicep curls in high heels and looking pained. The colour correction of the iPhone has made our maroon feature wall look pink
I was sat on an outside wall facing away from the camera. A cat approached me, and I extended my fist to let the cat decide if he fancied saying hello. He pressed his face hard into my hand, and now I’m worried if I’m going to get arrested for punching cats
Same as the previous picture only this time it looks like a face hugger? Or would do if this thing photographed better
A close up of an orange and yellow lava lamp doing what I described in the tweet. It looks like a brain with t-Rex arms trying to clap
A picture of me fella holding up a Moth pre-mixed cocktail on a concrete shelf half way up a small cliff. You can see my hand in shot, holding another. I haven’t opened mine yet, which is bad form
A sign headlined “AI Knowledge Park” Three pictures show typical aspirational buildings, with telltale signs of generative AI, such as a large glass coffee shop called THE NOTMGNGAM BLEND. At the bottom is this profoundly meaningless and context free sales pitch, which has a strong honk of LLM CONCEPTUAL DESIGNS Discover the perfect balance of style and functionality with developments designed to meet every person needs & modern amneities. We are bringing first time in Nottingham a lifestyle which blends living with recreation, Wellness and creative growth & culture which not only tackles modern day loneliness but provides with an environemnt that is sustainable and inclusive for all type of residents.
Outside a gift shop, there is a rattan armchair. Next to the armchair is a small blue plastic trolley. In the armchair sits a Shrek scarecrow so poorly made as to be legally distinct from the IP - but for the incriminating Donkey scarecrow on the trolley next to him, which is comparatively quite good. Shrek is drinking a coffee and looking incredibly high
A Daewoo foot spa on a bar counter top. There is nothing about it to suggest it is haunted
A James Last LP titled IN THE MOOD FOR TRUMPETS
My hand holding a book from the Sandy Lane Stables series. The title is Dream Pony. Pictured, is a horse.
An unbranded plastic squeezable ketchup dispenser at a local cafe. I want to put it in my mouth and suck it empty
A video of me navigating the Flamingo Land website. Scrolling down the home page, clicking on AWARD WINNING ZOO, then slowly zooming in on the first exhibit. It is a hedgehog that looks like it died doing something it hated
An uber map showing a sexy swarm of cabs descending on me, their willing prey
A labradoodle holding aloft a stick that is twice as long as she is, and looking extremely pleased with herself
A photo app collage of fish that vaguely represent the sitcom archetypes of downbeat dad, sexually active mum, attractive teen girl and I can’t remember the personality of the lad from Married With Children so he’s just a despondent frog
A screenshot of the shop page for “Rocky”, a Canine Positioning Manikin. His facial expression looks like he is shouting a slur across the street. An arm is reaching in from out of a frame, a hand tugging on his fur. Presumably this is to demonstrate Rocky’s tactile posability. But it gives the impression of someone trying to restrain him from shouting slurs across the street
Two fossils, a fuchsite on the left and a phacups on the right. I hadn’t heard of them before today thus is probably a route one fossil joke
Miss Finch has visited Higgins in an episode that’s shaping up to be a 1980s Pygmalion
A labradoodle stretched out across a sofa, staring directly at the camera with a cartoon sad face. She is sad because she remembers having a block of butter in her mouth, and doesn’t currently have a block of butter in her mouth
It’s… a pram, with a three legged table as the primary passenger, legs pointed forwards. Unfortunately there’s is a doll threaded through the legs of that table. the doll would be staring at me if its eyes weren’t shut and indifferent to the world
The top results for the Men’s Skeleton. Leading is V. Buff, followed by S. Maier. Wanna get overwhelmed by a very buff Sid Meier
A box of glassware labelled Arcoroc. Which is like the sound Gob Bluth makes when he calls Michael a chicken. Oh ma if I have to explain it it really doesn’t work
A picture of a dog with a speech bubble. He is saying “check out my Monty’s Magic Rings”
The progress flag, but the yellow section is now Lincoln Green andoccupied by Robin Hood, pointing a nocked arrow at the intersex circle, which is now in the middle of the main bit of flag? Decisions were made
A doll called Chloe, with an inverted face. She is freely dropping through the kind of void that you or I would only dare to stare into. Which is all very well and good but I’ve just microwaved some mince
My car bonnet, smothered very locally in at least eight large bird bobs
A horrible rocking horse with Sephiroth hair
A bowl of cous cous and chick peas, roast veg, from which emerges a single upright vegetarian sausage, which I am informed is a “bonus” sausage. The tip of the sausage is glistening with a pool of garlic mayo, which at some point prior has spattered the veg, leaving them fecund with flavour
A disposable coffee cup branded with Smokin’ Bean.
A vape advert boasting 5000 PUFFS
The disappointingly sane reception desk for Mad Magazine, in The Simpsons
A vape shop sign. A green to purple horizontal gradient has billowing smoke rushing in from below. The text reads: We’re now open 8 to 8 12 hours of vape maddness (spelled with two Ds) Sundays 10 til 4 for 6 hours of Vape Masness (spelled with zero Ds) Two swings and two misses at the word madness, that was harder to write incorrectly on my phone because it’s a keen bean on the autocorrect
A granite topped plinth with “Sawley Chub” engraved into it
A photo of a monitor featuring an old map of Nottingham, dense with yellow stars, each one representing a pub or inn. I do not know why I am doing this. There must be something important I am avoiding
A rotten doll, called Chloe, whose face has collapsed concave. Try as we might, no cajoling will pull her little face out. In addition, the seams between her plastic limbs and foam stuffed body have long come apart, exposing old yellow foam which has been dropping out for years. Despite this, she remains bloated. One possibility is that something unknown is replacing the foam and may one day emerge
The sign for a nail bar, called C.U.Nails. All but CUN is obscured by a nearby pillar, leaving the very real possibility that this shop could be called, you know, naughty word
A long wooden caterpillar, around 6 metres long and less than a metre high, in a photo that absolutely stinks of the 70s. Two children in checked winter wear are riding it, but the real action is at the back: an adult is peering into the hollow anus of the caterpillar, presumably after feeding their child into it. There is no exit from the head. Unpictured: me, at the head, silently screaming, and rapidly learning claustrophobia
Two dogs on a playing field. On the right is my mums Labradoodle, looking directly at the camera, tail in the air, and a front paw resting on a football like she’s doing fancy footwork. On the left is a beige poodle cross asking for her autograph because she’s so nice and lovely
A photo of a store front in Penge. The main sign reads Penge Nails, but it looks like they’ve rebranded to Enjoy, and added a sign above that. So it reads ENJOY PENGE NAILS, which makes it sound like they’re selling bags of pre-bitten Penge fingernails. To my mind anyway. You might not think so
A flea from Silksong. I don’t know if this is helpful to visually impaired people. Sorry
A blue plastic tub with a large yellow label reading “Contaminated Sand”. It is next to an A-Board with nothing written on it. Presumably the phrase Contaminated Sand says all they wanted to say
Similar layout: in 1854, the long extinct Megatherium is illustrated in a way that looked like he is bumming a tree. The based on current knowledge illustration features no tree. Although he does look kinda forlorn. Maybe he misses his bumming tree what he bummed
Two outline drawings of an Irish Elk. The top one is labelled “Based on Knowledge In 1854”. The bottom one is labelled “Based on current knowledge”, and the elk has its mouth wide open, hooting
A plain white shop sign reading AM Gooch
The word tits written vertically on a tree, much to my chagrin
Some slightly out of focus piglets at St Fagans Museum of Welsh History
Those asshole birds have spilled so much food on the floor that we are now supporting a rat. Or a mouse? He’s quite cute. Are mice just cute rats? I’m not a taxonomist
A photo taken from the back door of my house. One pigeon is on the feeder. Three more pigeons are stood on the fence looking like they don’t care, but it’s so obvious they do
A photo through an art shop window. Central is a childlike drawing of a dog sat at a dinner table with a plate of spaghetti in front of them. It is titled PASTA CLUB