Cpt. Gravity 🇺🇦 🎸

@disorder55409.bsky.social

798 Followers 1212 Following

Dad jokes, punk rock and the occasional🖕to MAGAts. What more do you need? He/Him. As the Iron Sheik wrote on the hellsite, “TAKE A MINUTE OF YOUR DAY TO BE NICE TO SOMEONE YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH.”

A cartoon from speedbump.com. A Young boy and an elderly man are sitting on a couch talking. The young boy tells the elderly man “Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.”
A pic of a group of school kids carrying large, brightly colored, slightly cigarette shaped objects. Caption: One of the better German traditions is that all kids get to carry a massive joint on their first day of school, as a reminder to stay chill no matter what. True Story.
A cartoon from Twonks. In an open field, an unfinished painting is on an easel. The artist is missing, his stool and supplies scattered on the ground. The painting shows a flying saucer in the sky, with a final line moving off the top of the canvas as if the artist was suddenly lifted away.
Captain America 113. Rick Jones weeps in front of a statue with the plaque: in Memorium Captain America died 1968 in the service of his country. Rick Jones is menaced by Hydra minions.
A television screen grab from the 1970s with Howard Cosell, Bruce Jenner and OJ Simpson. Cosell says “Hi I’m Howard Cosell and I just looked into the future and you’re not going to believe the shit I’m about to tell you!!”
A man is talking to his brain. Man: Give me good thoughts! Brain: Give me good sleep! Man: Fuck you! Good thoughts first! Brain: I need good sleep, motherfucker!! Man: Never!!
At 2:02 AM, a brain says “Hello” to its owner. He says “Oh God brain, not again.”
Two pieces of bread, covered with peanuts and grapes. Caption: Who else eats their PB&J sandwiches rare?
When Sweden plays Denmark, it shows on TV as SWE - DEN. The remaining letters not used are DEN - MARK.
A sign from Dollar Tree: “Grab it before it’s gone! Breast Cancer $1.50”
Photo of the algae riddled Reflecting POOL, caption: BREAKING: Trump loses war against algae, sends $300 billion to ‘Algaeria.’
An older, balding man wearing jorts and a tee shirt that proclaims “Time for a little anarchy.” Caption: An actual picture of the LSD I just ate making its way to my brain.
A drawing of Dwayne Johnson with lobster pincers for hands, captioned “Dwayne The Rock Lobster.”
Sign on a door: PUSH TO OPEN. if that does not work pull. If both do not work, try the actual entrance to your left.
A book cover: 420 Nancy Drew Ruined Mysteries. A Picture of a woman playing bagpipes. Book title: THE CASE OF THE OVERCOMPLICATED BONG
Interviewer: AC/DC, some people say that it stands for Anti Christ/Devils Child. Does it? Band Member: It came from the back of my sister’s sewing machine, it’s on any electrical appliance. it just means ‘power.’
A 7-11 c-store sign shows both their gas and diesel prices at $7.11. captioned “The prophesy has been fulfilled.”
Got no kids? Hire a babysitter anyway. Say your kid is asleep upstairs and must not be disturbed. Then upon your return, ask where your child is.
A photo of a door is posted with a sign that reads “BEEEEEEEEEEEES!! PLEASE DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. There are bees. They don’t like you. They mentioned you specifically.” A reply from an account called “12,000 angry bees” says “Don’t listen to him we are trustworthy.”
A dog looks out the window, thinking “someone’s breaking into the neighbor’s house.” With increasing concern, he thinks “DISGUISED AS THE NEIGHBOR!”
A picture of a computer desk with a huge chunk missing. “Whenever I Get mad, I chew on my desk a little bit.”
I’m a joker I’m a smoker I’m a (picture of a fellow named Willie Stroker)
Bart Simpson writes “I will not argue with the willfully ignorant” on the chalkboard 11 times
A woman is enchanted when a flock of birds bring her a beautiful gown and tiara, and escort her to a horse drawn carriage. Her enchantment turns to horror when the carriage arrives at a pet shop, and they make her steal all their bird seed at gunpoint.
A coffee bong
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Yoda: Begun the Epstein wars have
Ripley and Brett are eating breakfast in the movie “Alien.” Brett: I Couldn’t find any milk for my coffee. Ridley: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
Coach Gowron: Solidarity will break them. Annoyed O’Brien: And fists. Solidarity and fists. Coach Gowron: A fistful of solidarities! A solidarity of fisting! No, wait…
Audience reaction to Springtime For Hitler from The Producers.
Malcom McDowell as Alex in A Clockwork Orange
Jeff Beck - Who Else?
Huskier Du - Zen Arcade
Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers - Moanin’
Alabama Shakes - Boys & Girls
Brian Eno - Here come the warm jets
David Bowie - Station to station
Thelonious Monk Quartet - Monk’s Dream
The Dictators - Bloodbrothers
John Hartford - Aereo-plain
Roland Kirk - the inflated tear
Charles Mingus - Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus Mingus
The Gits - Frenching the bully
Steely Dan - Countdown to Ectasy
Ramones - Leave Home
The Horace Silver Quintet - Song for my father
Marvin Gaye - What’s Going On
Husker Du - Metal Circus
Mike Oldfield - Hergest Ridge
Bad Brains RIOR cassette release
Yusuf Lateef - Eastern Sounds