D. J. Runnels — author 📚💙

@djrunnels.bsky.social

3771 Followers 1957 Following

Almost published by HarperCollins, went Indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in US humor and top 100 in Absurdist Satire. Writes ghost comedic satire. Vonnegut, Wilde, Adams, Brontë. Invented #SkyWriters hashtag. Chicago. Linktr.ee/LifesAnExpedition

Mona Hardesty is murdered and lands in a laughably bureaucratic afterlife, where she must fight to get justice for her own death. So she demands to speak to a manager. D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Book cover: D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim. Thank you for your reviews on Amazon and for telling your friends about my books! Your support means so much to me.
D.J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim. "...the book equivalent of a mad-capped, door-slamming stage farce...a comic masterpiece where the humor seamlessly goes from intelligent, to silly, to absurd, before finishing off with brilliance. Truly one of the funniest books I've ever read." review of DEAD MONA by D. J. Runnels
D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim. ...thoughtful, inventive, well written, extremely humorous story...
Consider Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels if you like the absurdist satire of Kurt Vonnegut, Frank Kafka, Haruki Murakami, Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus. Dead Mona reached #92 in Absurdist Fiction on Amazon.
Air Quality Exposure to air pollutants such as particulate matter and ground-level ozone can cause: Headaches Difficulty breathing Irritated eyes, sinuses Chest pains, asthma attacks Fatigue Irritated throat, increased coughing
D. J. Runnels Dead Edna PUBLISHER DESCRIPTION Edna knows she's dead, but just can't let it go. She welcomes the new residents of her ghostly home with glee, especially Maggie Pall, who wants to impress her friends by moving into a trendy Chicago neighborhood. But Edna's childish antics clash with Maggie's self-proclaimed social status. Tensions arise as Maggie's husband finds the house creepy. And her surly baseball-obsessed son would rather live in a tent. To make matters worse, Edna begins to fill Maggie's head with longings for a handsome podiatrist. Their Thanksgiving housewarming weekend goes awry when (oops!) someone ends up dead. Now a fumbling police force, a charming ex-husband ad writer and a brash novice lawyer pivot the story into a legal drama. Going home for Thanksgiving reaches a whole new level in this darkly humorous satire of American upper-middle-class greed and lust.
CCO Public Domain Designation What a droll pastiche of Oscar Wilde and Gustave Flaubert Literary critics rave incomprehensibly over Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels. Hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor. Book at left: Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Ghosts are people, too.
Review for Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Supernatural Ghosts are people, too. Mystery Suspense Satire It was as though the writer had twisted a kaleidoscope, turning shimmer and glitz into shadow and portent. Suddenly, Dead Edna was much less about Edna and much more about death, and it wasn't funny at all but it was extremely clever and completely compelling because the writer had performed that special alchemy. She had made me care.
D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim. Mona battles bureaucracy and corruption in a quest for justice for her own murder. Blue book cover against a sky. Photo by D. J. Runnels. No gen a👁️ used in the writing or the book cover.
BARNES & NOBLE storefront. Barnes & Noble CEO backs selling Al-written books in stores The retail bookseller plans to open 60 more stores in the US...
Excerpt from: Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels "When you're ready, we got other things to go over." Prachtor's voice is almost gentler than before. "Can you guess what?" "Oh, God. The bathtub." I shake my head. "You got it." "If you know all of this already, why do I need to tell you?" "Because you do." Prachtor widens her black eyes and glares at me. "The bathtub, by Mona Hardesty," I begin. "It was a dark and stormy night. A soft hush fell upon the household." "Hardesty!" Link in profile. Note to self. Make sure book is lying flat before taking photo.
Which celebrity do you think would enjoy hanging out with you? Typewriter d.j.runnels I get Kurt Vonnegut. We have a satirical bond. But alas, he is dead, whereas the jury is still out on my status.
Photo of ceramic tile and wastebasket. Magritte man with flower head. No a👁️. d.j.runnels Tropes you will find in my books: Just kidding. I don't think about tropes. This is my bathroom floor, btw. d.j.runnels
Viking boat replica.
Message from a teacher: We are going to be implementing iPads in our rotations soon. Please bring in a pair of earphones with your child's name on them. Please make sure they do not have to be charged, and they don't have huge things coming out of them Thank you. (In response, I posted a photo of a young man wearing what appears to be enormous headphones.)
Artwork of a ghost. Book cover lower left. D. J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too. Dead, yet friendly Putting the dead in Dead Edna. Ghost Mystery Satire Suspense
D.J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too. "My facebook reading groups all had positive things to say about it. Turns out, it is a terrific read." 5 stars
Dead Edna welcomes new residents of her ghostly home, but clashes with new owner Maggie. A housewarming results in death (oops!) in this darkly humorous satire of American greed/lust. D. J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too. It made the Amazon top 150 in American humor. Ghost Mystery Satire Suspense
A famous author with 1.4 million followers gave it five stars. D. J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too.
Tombstone I made with the words: I used up all my sick days, so now I'm calling in dead. I make tombstones sometimes. A girl needs a hobby.—d.j.runnels
Authors, give me your marketing advice. I'm running out of ideas. d.j.runnels: Former writer to one of the largest ad agencies in the world, which handled such brands as Pepsi. Promote your book and your brand with some confidence and optimism. And be authentic. You can be brilliant or laidback or funny or shy or mysterious. But notice that Pepsi does not whine about their sales or spread malice.
d.j.runnels On some platforms, I don't have DMs enabled. If I can't disable them, I don't read or respond to them. Most of the messages are from scammers. If a Big Five trad publisher wants me back and is willing to take over my books, they'll find a way to get my attention without using DMs. A discreet balloon-filled parade in front of my house would be effective.
Eddie Murphy starring in Beverly Hills Cop.
Isn't it bad enough I was murdered? Now I have to suffer through an afterlife interrogation by a drill sergeant in a concrete cell. I'm Mona, born in Chicago, 1950. My father died the same day as JFK. (Coincidence?) My mother remarried before his corpse was cold and was a key player in a high school incident which led to more death. Ironically, the U.S. endures three assassinations, the Vietnam War and hippies burning draft cards, yet I'm not allowed to marry my boyfriend. And my ex, the murder cult clone, snuffed me out. But I see the afterlife is a bureaucratic trap of bribery and illusion in a dimension where time doesn't exist. So I'm going to game the system and demand to speak to a manager. Somebody's gotta pay for my murder. Originally accepted by a Big Five publisher, it went indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor.
Blob person covering a cat’s eyes.
D. J. Runnels Dead Mona "I read this book. It was well-written and funny as hell - literally. What more do you want?"-a reader Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
I told a sad story and then this happened: I'm sorry that happened to you. (Picture of sad cat.) d.j.runnels Thank you. thedelivery218 I'm Elon musk CEO of Tesla where are you from Bots lack the ability to read the room.
Blue book cover. D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Photo of d.j.runnels
Blue book cover photo by D. J. Runnels showing the light at the end of the tunnel at the top and a line of trees at the bottom. D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Isn't it bad enough I was murdered? Now I have to suffer through an afterlife interrogation by a drill sergeant in a concrete cell. I'm Mona, born in Chicago, 1950. My father died the same day as JFK. (Coincidence?) My mother remarried before his corpse was cold and was a key player in a high school incident which led to more death. Ironically, the U.S. endures three assassinations, the Vietnam War and hippies burning draft cards, yet I'm not allowed to marry my boyfriend. And my ex, the murder cult clone, snuffed me out. But I see the afterlife is a bureaucratic trap of bribery and illusion in a dimension where time doesn't exist. So I'm going to game the system and demand to speak to a manager. Somebody's gotta pay for my murder. Originally accepted by a Big Five publisher, it went indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor.
Officer Prachtor, detention officer in a dystopian afterlife.
D. J. Runnels 6 things that clash with my humor, so I leave them out of my books: - heavy swearing - spicy hot sex - explicit gore - lengthy descriptions of bucolic woodlands reminiscent of an 1800s tome - 2-dimensional cardboard characters - lack of meaning
My husband is not jealous of the other men in my life. Besides, William Faulkner is dead. @d.j.runnels
Review for Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Ghosts are people, too. Mystery Suspense Satire "It was as though the writer had twisted a kaleidoscope, turning shimmer and glitz into shadow and portent."
Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Conniving social climber Maggie Pall insists that her family move into her dream house in a trendy Chicago neighborhood. But no one shares her enthusiasm for the creepy mansion. Her pragmatic husband argues that it's not a sound real estate acquisition and her surly son would rather live in a tent. The family is thrown into further chaos by a trashy resident ghost named Edna, who influences Maggie's lustful thoughts for a podiatrist. After a Thanksgiving housewarming goes absurdly awry--oops!--someone ends up dead in this darkly humorous satire about social status and family bonds. Dead Edna Ghost Mystery Satire
Book cover of a ghost mystery satire that averages at least 4.9 out of 5 stars in the US, Canada, UK, Australia and other countries. Pink lip print photo/art by the author without use of A👁️. No generative A👁️ used in writing the book. The author has never used ChatGPT for anything. D. J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too.
Map of tornado watch area for June 11 covering northeast Illinois, including Chicago, which suffered significant damage yesterday.
John Steinbeck saying ARGH
"Never argue with stupid people, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - Mark Twain “That looks like a comma splice to me.” - D. J. Runnels
Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Conniving social climber Maggie Pall insists that her family move into her dream house in a trendy Chicago neighborhood. But no one shares her enthusiasm for the creepy mansion. Her pragmatic husband argues that it's not a sound real estate acquisition and her surly son would rather live in a tent. The family is thrown into further chaos by a trashy resident ghost named Edna, who influences Maggie's lustful thoughts for a podiatrist. After a Thanksgiving housewarming goes absurdly awry--oops!--someone ends up dead in this darkly humorous satire about social status and family bonds.
Review for Dead Edna by D. J. Runnels Ghosts are people, too. Mystery Satire It was as though the writer had twisted a kaleidoscope, turning shimmer and glitz into shadow and portent. Suddenly, Dead Edna was much less about Edna and much more about death, and it wasn't funny at all but it was extremely clever and completely compelling because the writer had performed that special alchemy. She had made me care.
Book cover showing lip print. D. J. Runnels Dead Edna Ghosts are people, too.
D. J. Runnels — author @djrunnels.bsky.social 3.6K followers 1.8K following Almost published by a top NYC publisher, went Indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor. Writes supernatural mystery satire. Vonnegut, Wilde, Adams, Brontë. Invented #SkyWriters hashtag.
d.j.runnels I am never detached from my characters when I write. An immersive experience for me creates an immersive experience for my readers. They laugh out loud and cry real tears as they read my books. -d.j.runnels
DJ’s wedding
Isn't it bad enough I was murdered? Now I have to suffer through an afterlife interrogation by a drill sergeant in a concrete cell. I'm Mona, born in Chicago, 1950. My father died the same day as JFK. (Coincidence?) My mother remarried before his corpse was cold and was a key player in a high school incident which led to more death. Ironically, the U.S. endures three assassinations, the Vietnam War and hippies burning draft cards, yet I'm not allowed to marry my boyfriend. And my ex, the murder cult clone, snuffed me out. But I see the afterlife is a bureaucratic trap of bribery and illusion in a dimension where time doesn't exist. So I'm going to game the system and demand to speak to a manager. Somebody's gotta pay for my murder. Originally accepted by a Big Five publisher, it went indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor.
People who have near-death experiences often describe seeing a light at the end of a tunnel. Perhaps they're on the operating table and they can hear the medical staff talking about them. "More suction, nurse." "Doctor, we're losing her." "Administer 50cc of ozone." Then some machine in the corner starts going beep-beep-beep. Next the patient is floating on the ceiling and watching a guy put paddles on her chest and she's thinking, "Hey, don't get handsy with my body there, dude." And a nurse is shouting, "CLEAR!" From Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels Supernatural Mystery Suspense Satire Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Book cover set against a Chicago skyline. It hit the Amazon top 150 D. J. Runnels in American humor. Mystery Suspense Supernatural Satire Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Excerpt: People who have near-death experiences often describe seeing a light at the end of a tunnel. Perhaps they're on the operating table and they can hear the medical staff talking about them. "More suction, nurse." "Doctor, we're losing her." "Administer 50cc of ozone." Then some machine in the corner starts going beep-beep-beep. Next the patient is floating on the ceiling and watching a guy put paddles on her chest and she's thinking, "Hey, don't get handsy with my body there, dude." And a nurse is shouting, "CLEAR!" From Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels Supernatural Mystery Suspense Satire D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim.
Isn't it bad enough I was murdered? Now I have to suffer through an afterlife interrogation by a drill sergeant in a concrete cell. I'm Mona, born in Chicago, 1950. My father died the same day as JFK. (Coincidence?) My mother remarried before his corpse was cold and was a key player in a high school incident which led to more death. Ironically, the U.S. endures three assassinations, the Vietnam War and hippies burning draft cards, yet I'm not allowed to marry my boyfriend. And my ex, the murder cult clone, snuffed me out. But I see the afterlife is a bureaucratic trap of bribery and illusion in a dimension where time doesn't exist. So I'm going to game the system and demand to speak to a manager. Somebody's gotta pay for my murder. Originally accepted by a Big Five publisher, it went indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor.
Blue book cover of Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels showing a tree line and a light at the end of the tunnel. Confessions of a cranky murder victim. Gen X marketing: if Stephen King wrote Ghostbusters.
d.j.runnels Oscar Wilde inspired me to write social satire. Most people think of satire as political, but it is a delightfully humorous way to display the hypocrisy of relationships and social conventions.
Picture of book cover upper left. Picture of guitar lower right. Five stars. D. J. Runnels Dead Mona Confessions of a cranky murder victim. “Though nearly every living person Mona knew was a suspect, I thought I had the murderer pegged and I was so very wrong. The author expertly built the plot with twists and turns that keeps the reader guessing to the end. And what an end it is. I may have cried a little here too because I grew to like the fiesty* Mona Hardesty.” *feisty I didn’t want to correct the review.
D. J. Runnels Ghost Mystery Satire Humor At age 3, I begged my mother for a paperback I could scribble in. She declined, so I unleashed my creative urges by coloring in her favorite cookbook. She was displeased. But I already knew I wanted to be an author. At 9, I started a neighborhood newspaper and sold issues door-to-door. At 10, I started a newspaper at school and supervised a staff of three kids. At 12, l wrote a collection of six short stories one summer, while my mother complained, "You're too pale. Go outside and play." At 15, I worked on the yearbook staff and served as newspaper editorial editor at my high school, while getting paid by news media in a large metropolitan area for articles I sent them. At 21, I branched out into humor columns and business articles. At 25, I became an ad agency copywriter, won 24 awards and went on to work for one of the most prestigious ad agencies in the world. Today, I'm writing novels to fulfill the dreams I had as a toddler. My mother's cookbooks are finally spared.
Back of paperback: Isn't it bad enough I was murdered? Now I have to suffer through an afterlife interrogation by a drill sergeant in a concrete cell. I'm Mona, born in Chicago, 1950. My father died the same day as JFK. (Coincidence?) My mother remarried before his corpse was cold and was a key player in a high school incident which led to more death. Ironically, the U.S. endures three assassinations, the Vietnam War and hippies burning draft cards, yet I'm not allowed to marry my boyfriend. And my ex, the murder cult clone, snuffed me out. But I see the afterlife is a bureaucratic trap of bribery and illusion in a dimension where time doesn't exist. So I'm going to game the system and demand to speak to a manager. Somebody's gotta pay for my murder. Originally accepted by a Big Five publisher, it went indie and hit the Amazon top 150 in American humor. Dead Mona by D. J. Runnels