Double Garlic*

@doublegarlic.bsky.social

473 Followers 522 Following

*Terms & Conditions may apply. Alt text incl. Andalusian in The Netherlands Management janitor Cancer survivor Nerdy & niche Born 335ppm she/her #UBI

Pepe the Frog medita rodeado por un círculo de velas, la palabra “manifesting” aparece sobre él.
Screenshot from a job offer requiring CV and/or LinkedIn profile, motivation letter and “Your 16 Personalities test result including screenshot”.
Photo of a 65 litres luggage, open, containing 7 packs of stroopwafles, 2 packs of butter syrup cookies, 2 chocolate bars, and 4 packs of disco dip pretzels (small dry salt pretzels coated in white chocolate and covered in rainbow sugar sprinkles, as Satan intended)
Kyoko Toshino from the anime series YuruYuri, laughing with a smug smirk. Olga got a sainthood out of everything she did. You can listen to a jolly briefing on how she ran her royal business on the podcast “Half-Arsed History”.
A card of the wikigacha game: super super rare level, List of Nintendo products, with a modest 7k attack but a fabulous 14k defense. This card wins by driving the opponent to exhaustion.
Commentary on Reddit, sub popculturechat, pointing out that the name of the general manager for the Dutch branch is Zoe Hamburger
A person stands at the border of a canal, holding a pair of reach extenders and a bucket. On the right there’s the canal and an old boat, on the left the street and a couple of parked bicycles, in front a few steps ahead a wood bridge that crosses from one side of the canal-street to the other. There’s a bunch of moss around.
Esquina superior de una librería rebosante de material
An advertisement in YouTube, selling Google Gemini AI. The ad is written in European Spanish, in such a bad way that it is open to the both possible interpretations that I explained. For a casual Spanish reader, the wrong interpretation is the default one with that phrasing.
The back of a book, a beautiful hardcover edition decorated with an embossed illustration of a theatre and a figure on stage. Printed on it, a text reads “The show must go on, as murder, music and mayhem run riot in the night…”. This book also contains witches, superb comedy, a perspective on cookbok publishing, and a lot of food for thought.
Little teeny tiny cute bird on a branch having a total meltdown, shouting AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
A meme: a puppet monkey looking away, then looking introspectively onwards. Absolute awkward feelings there, while staying silent because better nobody notice what’s going on, right? Riiight? The images used are of a puppet from the Japanese children's show Ōkiku naru Ko.
A character from a manhua fans themself while surprised and blushing intensely. If I had ever seen those two absolute units of lovely hunks in real life, I would have reacted exactly like this character, then fainted. The Reddit user blackdragon189 commented on the origin of this meme: “Pretty sure that’s Nie Huaisang from Mo Dao Zu Shi （魔道祖师）aka Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s great! It’s got a donghua, manhua, cdrama, and novel.”
A small opossum with big opinions voices its discontent at a microphone. Caption reads “I just want to say I hate this” I need a massive microphone. This is even worse than their Persuasion adaptation.
[voz de David Attenborough] Truck-kun se agazapa en una zona arbolada, a la caza de su próxima víctima, con la intensa concentración propia de un depredador prácticamente infalible. [voz de Constantino Romero] Las autoridades advierten que, si vives en una zona con elevado tráfico de camiones de pequeño a medio tonelaje, es especialmente relevante prestar atención a los detalles narrativos de toda juego o novela de género fantástico que tengas por casa. Por si las moscas.
Cartoon of a human-like blob. The shape is irrelevant, really. However, it is blushing and tapping its mouth with its little hands together in deep, religious-esque and fascinated concentration. A natural reaction to the manifestation of an absolute unit of a green-flag hottie. The fact that such a dude is fictional is irrelevant, too.
A dude called ThatARCGuy commented on the trailer in YouTube: "This movie better be 8 hours long." And please 8 additional hours of behind-the-scenes content.
A woman and a ginger cat pose for the camera wearing (digital, superimposed cartoon stickers) sunglasses and a massive necklace showing a big jewelled dollar symbol. The gaudy bling is strong with these two. Shame? Never met her.
A black and white cat stares from a window in an apartment at ground level. Kitty bumps their head on the window, demanding pets. I comply although the pets are metaphorical due the window glass being between us (not my first window pets rodeo). Two little toy bunnies keep it company. I changed my “leave the office” time because this kitty is napping at my usual work-end time and I love to greet it on my way home after work. Yes, a cat I am not officially acquainted with rules over my life. No regrets.
A cubic wood shelf rests on a wood stool, placed between two windows facing a street. The wood cube contains a bunch of books on arts and crafts, gardening, history, sociology, science fiction, fantasy, fiction, comics and (not very enthusiastic about those) business. Some new acquisitions are on top of it. It ain’t much, but it’s an honest library.
Screenshot of the “smart filter” camera in an Android phone. I am pointing it at a bunch of my just-chopped-off hair in the bathroom sink. The filter insists that it is a cat. Best software bug ever.
A glass jar containing my aunt’s signature mayo, jar mostly empty at this point. My aunt uses superb olive oil, the kind that very wealthy people wish they would get their posh hands on and keep exclusively for themselves, some of those olives harvested at my uncle’s farm. Assorted breadcrumbs around the jar are witness to the mayo’s glory. If garlic would show on radar, this mayo would mess up delicate astronomy sensors. In olden times, it would have been worshipped as the food of goods.
A photo of my beloved Christmas sweatshirt. It has printed on the front the drawing of the goose from Untitled Goose Game (a game where you, as a horrible goose, must wreak havoc in a village). The goose is wearing a typical Christmas hat and a red ribbon as a bowtie and it is honking. By its side, there’s a checklist form with the options: Naughty, Nice, and A Horrible Goose. Of course, the last option is checked. May we all find our inner horrible goose in 2025 and deploy it against the evils of the world. With much joy.
Photo of a tv standing on top of a tv cabinet. The screen shows the words “3. Lie more”. This documentary is excellent, absolutely a must to understand the current state of consumer mass markets.
Photo taken by me in late November 2024. It shows a neo-Gothic space of four levels around a central open space with desks at the ground floor. The walls are covered in books, the columns are tall and thin, supporting stained glass windows at the top of the North wall and a glass skylight above. Rijksmuseum visitors are allowed to peek inside this main hall of the library from a balcony, but cannot roam freely to avoid disturbing scholars and books, and are asked to not speak and been noiseless when in that space. This library is one of the largest and oldest public research libraries in the Netherlands.
Advent calendar from a popular art supplies shop in the city I live in. The box is smooth to the touch and quite big (approx the size of a coffee table) and standing on mu desk and against the wall. I pit it in a highly visible place to cheer me up, it is so pretty and reminds me of people I love.
Walking on my way to the metro almost Saturday already and a very fluffy light cream cat pops up from a house garden and demands pet and exclusive attention. It took five solid minutes of pets to satisfy the kitty so it would continue its neighbourhood supervisory route. What an amazing fur coat it has!
Almost midnight on my way home in the city. A tabby cat with a gps collar crosses the street right in front of me to chill at a building’s entrance. Of course I had to pet this adorable, sweet and extra fluffy baby who has its winter fur extra thick and soft.
Scene from Jessica Jones of David Tennent giving Krysten Ritter an angry glare. Ritter is labeled “Europe” and Tennant is labeled “Russia right now”. See quoted skeet for complementary version.
A series of images from two scenes of Downtown Abbey: 1. Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess, telling Lady Mary that "Women like us fall into two categories: dragons and fools. You must make sure they think of you as a dragon". 2. Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess, telling Lady Mary "I think we will have Lavinia for tea". Lady Mary replies "You sound like if you are going to gobble her up". Violet Crawley, The Dowager Countess, smiles with malice, and I edited into the image dragon wings behind her. A colossal dragon like Violet Crawley deserved no lesser wings! Credit to the wings goes to the designer Nicky Spencer, whose icons (including the Bat one I used here for the wings) can be downloaded at Noun Project under Creative Commons License CC BY 3.0.
Screenshot of Google Maps showing the attendance data for the gym. Popular times are on Thursday, 11pm to 2am, with the annotation "Usually as busy as it gets". Any gym-oriented person knows that it means "So many people at the venue that you may have to queue for using the equipment".
Image of a food container storing a quick tiramisu perpetration. First time I try to prepare it with gluten-free and vegan ingredients. Added some lingonberries for joy. It was… ok for survival needs, but my kingdom for a vegan mascarpone that doesn’t taste like dated cardboard.
Screenshot of a LinkedIn post by stand-up comedian Ken Cheng: People have accused me of performatively reading intelligent books in public. I was reading Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" in a cafe, and a woman came up to me. She said, "You're not even reading that. It's upside down." I was holding it upside down. "Oh you don't think I'm reading it?" I then read out three paragraphs from it while holding it the wrong way up. She looked sheepish and embarrassed, and one man from a nearby table applauded (the whole cafe would've but it was a loud cafe and we weren't shouting the exchange.) I've spent the last 5 years training this skill because reading things the right way up was no longer a challenge for me. I now sit and read like this in public to see who is close minded and who is open to new ideas. Reading normally is boring and for conventionals. Reading upside down is for true "Outliers."
A message from BlueSky telling me that I'm platform user number 1879528, out of the first 10 million of users - in chronological order of account creation.
Meme that uses a scene from the movie adaptation of Lord of the Rings, portraying the nine human kings receiving the rings of power created by Sauron that would turn them into Nazgûl. The meme text reads: Nine JIRA licenses were gifted to the race of business executives, who about all else desired shareholder value.
Screenshot of a pop up message in a phone from Spotify app: Never miss a new song, episode, concert, or anything else. Turn on push and email notifications to get the latest on music, shows, and more.
Screenshot of a message in the game AFK Journey. It contains two swords, colliding with each other, and the words “Auto Battling”
Screenshot of a Google Search results page, Q&A section called “People also ask”. The first question is “How many Boeing whistleblowers are dead?”
Picture of my cat-nephew Weasley, a ginger cat whose fur glows like the summer sun, from above. He has his ears flat and perpendicular to his head in a nonchalant airplane mode. Weasley was considering whether to pat my leg and maybe bite it slightly or not to demand more pets. He did not, which I appreciated greatly giving him more pets.
Blurry selfie showing off a nice second-hand tee that features the drawing of a deer at night under a full moon and some small unshaped shadows which I unilaterally decided are bats.
Same meme that I perpetrated previously, but I added an arrow pointing to the Orcs who are about to be diced, and the clarifying test "the chickens". Again, I am very much not sorry.
Text in a job offer: "About the job About the company: Our vision 'A better chicken for a better life' summarizes why we exist - to create the conditions for a prosperous world with our product. For people, the chickens and our planet. [company name] has been around for over 50 years and is [country name] market leading player in chicken with several major brands. Everything we do is based on your needs for convenient, healthy and tasty food. Our mission is to offer a safe and healthy choice with products that are good for humans, the chickens and the planet." Yes, they said that killing chickens is good for the chickens. No, unfortunately that was not an April's Fools joke.
Meme of a Very Disappointed Muhammad Sarim Akhtar with the text "When it's April and yesterday was 8 degrees Celsius, but today snow is blowing... horizontally". I like winter, but by Odin after five months of this I could do with not needing ice-slip resistant shoes to venture the street (Stockholm's street maintenance in winter is embarrassingly lacking).
Screen capture of a Spotify playlist called "POV, I'm just a girl updating a playlist". The cover image for the playlist is a meme of a little furry animal fashioning a pink ribbon while looking at the observer with big imploring sad eyes. The playlist is an exquisite selection of the vibes "I am a young adult and everything makes me feel poignant, the world is an objective mess, and if that person does not look at me my world will end, only these songs understand me and can cheer me up". The playlist has been created by someone at the company and published under the company name so, alas, we don't know the hero's identity. Kudos to that amazing peson. Chef's kiss.
Ginger cat getting ready for the first nap of the day, curled up on my fluffy home hoodie on the bed. I guess time for breakfast and being a rusty and mistreated cogwheel of capitalism for me.
Alice falling down the rabbit hole, taking her to interesting places
This is the portrait of a wealthy dame serenely enjoying her tea at a terrace in a city house. She is surrounded by fruits, cake, greenery behind, and the company of a cat purring and curling to her shoulder. This painting delivers both joy and peace, illustrating how wonderful it is to chill and snack at a nice location in company of a cat. Life goals.
Customer review: "Excellent for standing on to take outfit selfies and for summoning my cat"
Photo of Weasley in summer, sunbathing on the carpet and expecting treats. He is a ginger cat with green eyes, which in practical terms means that his eyes are the tones of tangy apples and his fur is like a warm summer day (and, like a Shakespeare play, he can be a tad theatrical).
Screenshot of my phone’s browser opening a ScienceDirect page about a paper on the absorption of carbon dioxide in aqueous ammonia. To know why the hell I’m checking a paper on chemistry research you will have to read the book because I’m not going to spill spoilers. Honestly, it’s a wonderful book.
A plate full of homemade French toasts bathed in vegan cream and accompanied by local cloudberry jam rests on a low table, next to a mug of hibiscus tea, in front of the tv playing a documentary about Paris bees in ARTE channel. I baked the French toasts without sugar but with a bit of artic thyme syrup from Iceland that I keep for moments of debauchery. 10/10 can recommend.
Screenshot of Xiran Jay Zhao’s Twitter account. She discovered that she and another author were removed from the Hugo Award finalists lists despite their books having enough votes and being eligible.
According to Apple’s minimalistic documentation, a factory reset in their laptops is just one click away. According to real life, the multiverse, and the laws of idiocy, a factory reset of an Apple MBP M2 requires fighting to death with the logged AppleID, having an ethernet cable and access to an Internet router because they forgot to add the WiFi dialogue on the reboot setup (it’s been three fancy-name Operating System with that bug), having a dock station that has both ethernet and whatever they decided for connector in that specific laptop which for sure will change in next model, engage recovery mode twice, and keep your iPhone ready for the Four Horsemen of Apple Apocalypse arrival, aka identity, auth, access, and sync. Image: a dock station hangs perilously from some wires hanging from a storage furniture item. It has four cables attached. The four of them necessary. Because of the location of the router, the poor dock is in an awkward position trying its best. Bless it.
Screenshot of a reply. I mentioned something about my hometown, a dude asked me where it is, I jokingly replied something not specific, he proceeds to insult me. His account here is kimnguyen2.bsky.social. I reported and blocked him for harassment.
Strawberry meringue from a pastry shop in my hometown. We have a thing for big meringues. Well, we have a thing for anything big and sweet. Ahem, honestly we have a thing for anything edible that is big and delicious. This meringue enters such categories. It’s long like an average adult hand, crunchy outside soft inside, contains laminated strawberry and strawberry syrup at the core. I ate it thirty minutes ago. Currently typing from the sofa I cannot move.
Photo of the tv announcing the start of the concert, displaying the seal of Vienna Philharmonic. Inlove this yearly tradition.
Reddit decided to copy Spotify’s yearly wrapped and it’s showing me what they very optimistically think are jolly insights on my behaviour as a user. I joined communities JustDance, Stockholm, and ThereIsNoCat. They decided that those subs must be out of my comfort zone and congratulate me upon “getting outside” of it. I use JustDance weekly, live in Stockholm, and am a cat aunt. I wish Reddit all luck in their Business Analytics endeavours.
The booklet of Haendel’s Messiah on a kitchen’s countertop. Booklet has been very used and loved. It’s bloody thick and when my aunt put it on the counter it slapped with an ominous sound.
Photo of a fortune-cookie message. It reads “Don’t worry. Prosperity will knock on your door soon.” - I really hope that “Prosperity” is not a door-to-door sales person.
Screenshot of a conversation with a friend via chat. I ask him how he is doing and he replies with the following text: “The chickens had a pet rat. I had a cage match with said rat, rat is now my nemesis, squeezed through a hole in made in the enclosure while trying to kill it. Ermmmm I've been decorating, it snowed. I think that's about it.” - Find yourself friends that appreciate the absurdity of everyday life and you will never get bored.