Wintzards of the Coast

@drilmagic.bsky.social

4611 Followers 53 Following

parody account putting @dril tweets on Magic cards

Endless Cockroaches: if every person on earth killed 1000 bugs every day we would have no more bugs #noBugs #stopBugs
Abyssal Hunter: Mr. Finding My Smile
High Perfect Morcant: im the ceo of legs
Rest in Peace: Yes son the dog is in heaven & hes a pokemon now. The dog became a pokemon as thats what he desired most within his magic heart when he died
Arthur, Marigold Knight: my new politics adjacent thing is getting really pissed off when people give a human name to a Rat
Entropic Battlecruiser: most shockingly of all, the alien craft was reportedly adorned with a sort of bumper sticker that said "Earth Hoes Cant Fuck"
Hovel Hurler: Time to show these douscebags my real power (throws a big tree branch at a guys car)
Deflection: the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will
Golos, Tireless Pilgrim: mean while, while you were "Gaming ", i tasted 100 different wines in a cave behind a waterfall and cried into a shaman's arms
Settle the Wreckage: my plan is to inherent my uncles stolen land and convert his failed trailer park into a sort of israel for Gooning victims
Imposter Syndrome: every generation deserves at least 5 movies named "Spider Man 2"
Icatian Moneychanger: i didnt understand how interest at the bank works until someone explained to me its like storing cum up in your balls
Ob Nixilis of the Black Oath: one thing i will never joke about is "Darth Bator" the guy who jacked off too much and became Evil
Hammer Helper: gamer posture is equally as valid as normal posture. i will no longer be silent, of this
Charge Through: Fucker Bowl
Bloodlust Inciter: LOVER UNBUTTONS MY PANTS AND SEES THE ANKH LOOPED AROUND MY COCK. SHE LOOKS UP AT ME, BUT ITS TOO LATE. IM ALREADY HOLLERIN ABOUT THE ANUBIS
Dark Prophecy: #GroundhogDay is the one day a year where the nation can put asaide the partisan politics and sacrifice a large rodent to God BURN THE RAT 42.6% Let Him Live In Disgrace 57.4%
Winter Sky: listeing to the updated version of the "baby its cold outside" song where the guy's trying to convince the woman to leave so he can jack off
Howl of the Night Pack: im watching my gf transform into wolves . the wolves have the same tattoos that she have. she can turn back into a person when she wants to.
Orcish Farmer: its dumb that the san quentin Milking Division just throws all of the prisoner cum in the trash when they could feed it to livestock instead
Wasteful Harvest: first off, trees are bullshit
Gwendlyn Di Corci: getting my Dick finagled , by my tantric wifebride, in my chamber's
Ravenous Baboons: having to spell the word "lunch" instead of saying it so the boys don't get too excited
Traveling Botanist: im thinking the next big industry is dog humanization services. surgery to make dogs look like a man, stand upright, etc. its what they want
Ajani, Nacatl Avenger: "horny" has killed more people than all the volcanos on earth combined
Chain Reaction: "this is going to sound so cool" i rev the engine and it explodes, leaving me rolling around on the road with a smouldering dick & ass crack
Reject Imperfection: looking how to become more cyber
Barrage Ogre: 100% body fat, 49 year old, normal Male. good at turning purple while lifting boulders and dropping them in ex-wife's driveway. Army strong
Rapid Hybridization: how do i morph
Mocking Sprite: i respect youir beliefs so much (jack off motion) theres no possible way your opinion can totally suck me Hard
Dryad of the Ilysian Grove: they are trying to make the 2020s the decade of Nude
Spider-Verse: "multi verse" fuck your self. you`re only allowed to have one universe per costumed dipshit. absolutely none of this is my problem
Tragic Poet: "buckwild" or "hogwild"?? im writing a poem for my gf
Tidal Force: i was bullied and tortured at school because i was the only kid with a waterbed. so i got surgery and became a waterbed. suck my cock trolls
Agoraphobia: i go outside for the rfirst time in 7 years and a biplane immediately shoots a chemtrail at my dick and makes it 2 inches shorter. typical
Elusive Tormentor: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
Sonic Assault: (plays some Tchaikovsky records at the highest possible volume) ah it sucks ass. but my IQ is increasing so much
Miasmic Mummy: you say you smoke two packs a day? two packs of what, pal? shit?
Falco Spara, Pactweaver: my friend the only crypto currency you wanna get your hands on is this: bird seed. There is a lot of birds and they all gotta eat
Hound Tamer: i would not discount pua techniqes just b/c girls are wise to them now. for instance,w. a few modifications i can use them to rear pit bulls
Thirst for Knowledge: to my mates online: im raising $1900 so i can drink a ton of olive oil to see if it turns to shit when i shit it out or just stays olive oil
Force Void: i consider protected, locked accounts, to be the most Powerful accounts... for it is they who have Blocked the entire world
Recruit the Worthy: a cool prank is to convince someone to join the Armed Forces and watch them get spooked by guns & missiles in exchange for hollow gratitude
Psychic Possession: the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the "GUN"
Deadly Designs: were at the point now, folks, twhere the CIA will kill you for having Opinions, but refuse to assassinate the nitwits who fuck with my Page.
Spontaneous Combustion: sorry. i can't come to work today because my fat little penis got blown off by a stick of TNT , in the war we just lost because of me .
Dark Ritual: me & the boys will be holding hands., forming a Covenant Ring, to protest girls who only want to fuck the main pirate from the pirate movies
Inga and Esika: if i dont get into Heaven ill just use the rainbow bridge that dogs use. and ill push as many animals off the bridge as i can in the process
Elvish Piper: thinking of becoming a "Pipes" dipshit
Joven: ((attempts to dress up for hte first time in my life to attend Grandmas funeral but ends up looking like a school shooter from the matrix)
Teferi, Master of Time: before you threaten to "Pimp slap" me, please remember that i am a police officer of the law, on at least four separate timeline's
King Macar, the Gold-Cursed: if i had $1000000, or even $100000, i'd marry a woman with a completely unfuckable, solid gold Pussy. and i would look at it and say "Wow"
Strixhaven Stadium: the crack of the bat. the scent of a verdant field. The excitement of the crowd. These are the things that piss base ball fans off the most
Tyrant of Discord: my slack friends all have jobs oppressing my discord friends
Blast Zone: BREAKING: Millionaire rapist rehab facility lost to random gas explosion—Dozens of 2nd chances tragically denied—"Mist of splinters & flesh"
Lord Skitter, Sewer King: (rodent voice) its damn Friday night!!! And Ill be dipped in shit if I aint ready to throw down some pecker
Bumbleflower's Sharepot: when i serve you one of my fine home cooked meals i promise 2 things: 1. it WILL be tge best thing you've ever tasted 2. you WILL get diarrhea
Enhanced Surveillance: searching for bastards .
Arcade Gannon: the mysterious "Dr. Gamer"
Capital Punishment: Post See new posts Conversation wint @dril AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP