bee !!

@dromendus.bsky.social

128 Followers 164 Following

god's favorite shoegaze-loving transsexual 28 // she/her linktr.ee/dromendus

facebook post from me, which reads: some jackass cut me off in traffic so i hit their ass with the curse that causes them to develop a new organ attached to their bladder which periodically generates and secretes small bone fragments that must be painfully passed through the urinary tract. this new organ is also connected to the heart in a "dead man's switch" type of configuration, so it cannot be removed
post from facebook user Bee Miel (me lol), which reads as follows: [me and my friend, a regular pair of cowboy-coded fuckers, walk into a saloon] howdy, me and my pal Cockflayer Slim here have been workin hard all day shredding my son in the new SonShredder Plus we got at work last week, we could really use a drink 🤠 [the bartender jumps over the bar and tackles to me to the ground] [the bartender grabs my face with both hands and gouges out my eyes with their thumbs] [Cockflayer Slim quietly continues whittling away at his cock] [my funeral is three days later. the only people in attendance are Cockflayer Slim and the bartender]
lyrics: i'm sick and tired of being torn limb from limb i sink my teeth into a slim fuckin jim i get my reps on the machines at the gym no one wants to be the pam to my jim my name's jim and i got nothin to live for anymore i'm feelin like i'm at the end of my life just wish i could go home to some kids and a wife instead i just got a sick collection of knives and a real shitty sedan that i drive
a song i wrote. lyrics are as follows i've been advising your physician and i wanted to let you know that i'm taking a position which you might find questionable we're likely in opposition on how this type of thing should be handled but it's a fucked up situation so i wanted to let you know i'm trying to convince your doctor that you're not worth keeping alive i'm trying to convince your doctor that they should just let you die i'm not alone in hoping that you die your family and friends all do as well i'm gonna go home and have sex with my wife i hope this voicemail finds you well
post from facebook user Bee Miel (me lol) that reads: [really annoying guy] don't invite me to your party if there ain't gonna be hoes there [guy who's into gardening] don't invite me to your party if there ain't gonna be hoes there [guy who really likes tubes] don't invite me to your party if there ain't gonna be hose there [guy who's being gangstalked] don't invite me to your party if there ain't gonna be– *hears noise, looks around* who's there? [the grinch] don't invite me to your party if there are gonna be Whos there
post from facebook user Bee Miel (me lol) that reads as follows: [me talking to a stranded visibly upset two year old child at walgreens] sup little man i'm doing bologna tricks. heh. you'll understand when you're—whoa mama look at that sexy broad! [the "sexy broad" (the child's mother) hears me clearly as i'm only ten feet away and being really loud] oh man i gotta get outta here!!!! [i sprint towards the store entrance too quickly for the automatic door to anticipate my approach and slam directly into the glass, shattering it] ah fuck man i got glass in my eyes i can't see shit!! those bologna tricks ain't worth nothin' man this fucking suuuuuuucks!!!! [a police officer who happened to be walking by witnesses this moment and fatally blasts my dome asunder with their service weapon (the cop is non-binary)]
facebook post from user Bee Miel (me lol) that reads as follows: check this shit out. it's fucking wild [144p youtube video of yoda fucking a hole in his couch] no fr how has this not been taken down yet? it was posted in 2006 [yoda in the video starts cranking the absolute fuck out of his green, shriveled, decrepit shaft] like this has to violate at least one or two youtube rules, come on [yoda is now using the force to jack himself off hands-free with some kind of hollowed out fruit] the production quality is pretty impressive tho, despite the low resolution. whoever made this was rly committed [yoda has an extremely intense climax, punctuated by blood-curdling screams] i wonder if there's a higher quality version just chilling on some guy's hard drive. i hope it isn't lost media tbh [he uses the force to catch all of his glowing green nut in the air and form it into a large ball] huh, only 700 views after all these years. i guess nobody's reported it bc idk why else it'd still be up [he proceeds to drink the ball, in its entirety, from the air] i saw this when i was like ten and it permanently fucked up my brain, i think [yoda walks up to the camera to turn it off] crazy shit, right?
kroger brand spray cheese
facebook post from Bethany Bee (me lol) that reads: "slacker rock? heh, i hardly kn–" a massive, impossibly luminous beam of light suddenly blasts in through the nearest window, focused directly and exclusively at me. i am reduced to carbon in mere seconds, erased from this world before i could even process what was happening. this quick, painless death would be the final act of mercy shown to me before i face an eternity in hell