Toilet Operator

@dylanger.info

106 Followers 92 Following

How may I direct your call?

A man on a phone in a Trader Joe's. Above him is a mural of a bottle of wine with airplane wings soaring through the sky.
A cat on top of an RGB-lit computer tower
Most people rejected his message. *Guy says "Shut up!"* They hated Greg because He told them the truth.
John Arbuckle says to Garfield as he puts a lasagna into the oven: "WHY DO THEY CALL IT OVEN WHEN YOU OF IN THE COLD FOOD OF OUT HOT EAT THE FOOD"
A ploughed field left unsown
A meme made from the above image: "Turn Hard Foods" [Picture of a beautiful lasagna] "into Easy Foods" [a bowl of blended slop]
A cat butt, scanned on a flatbed scanner
An ad from Futurama picturing a bowl of kibble and reading "Bachelor Chow; NOW WITH FLAVOR!"
Google search AI overview: "The statement "a skinned dog always faces east" is a popular riddle or saying. While there's no scientific basis for it, it's understood to be a trick question or a play on words. The answer is a turd, as the phrase "skinned dog" can be interpreted as "a dog's turd", and a turd always faces east because it's being expelled from the body."
Doritos flavored beef jerky and meat stick
A screenshot of Duolingo. Junior says in Spanish, "Why do you have my red purse?" He looks suspiciously like Bobby Hill
Flame point Siamese cat sitting in a chair
Man loading upside down salmon into the Fish Tube
A screenshot in the style of a speed running video thumbnail. In the background is the Vatican; in the foreground is a portrait of a man dressed in red. The text reads "PAPACY/ POPE_URBAN_VII/ ANY% WR/ 12:07:53"
Promotional image of Uncle O'Grimacey wearing red, like a Catholic cardinal
A skeleton doing barbell squats with the text "MY CAT IS A/ MACHINE/ THAT TURNS/ meat gravel/ INTO/ piss gravel"
This skeet, immediately followed in the skyline by one from the World Conservation Center, showing a video of wolves howling with the caption "Our voices are stronger when we howl together 🐺🐺"
A version of the trollface "I hate the antichrist" meme. Two men wearing Netflix helmets bust through the door, saying "we've got you surrounded! come stream Big Mouth!" Troll guy, looking deranged, holds a DVD in his hand and sits next to a TV with a frame of Twin Peaks on it. He replies, "i hate leasing media! i hate leasing media!"
An Euler diagram containing two non-overlapping circles. Circle A: "People this very specific joke would make sense to" Circle B: "People who are on this website "
An online posting for the Home Depot "5 Gal. Homer Bucket (3-Pack)"
Bluesky notifications where a crow has liked these skeets
5-10 unsalted almonds, served in open upturned palm
Get stick bugged lol
A meme with a picture of a big wet lizard. In impact font: HAPPY FIRST OF APRIL FROM THE APRIL ALLIGATOR! / APRIL FOOLS. THIS IS ACTUALLY A CROCODILE, A DIFFERENT SPECIES. YOU GOT FUCKING PRANKED IDIOT
Screenshot for an ad from "Spousey: AI for Couples" that shows alternatives for the text message "wtf did I do wrong?" Like "Hey love, can you help me understand where I messed up? ❤️"
Mixtape the cat doing a big yell
A Siamese cat laying in bed being eepy
"A shy introvert with big ears and a deformed nose, young Ansel may have also suffered from a hyperactive disorder or dyslexia. Whatever the cause, the elder Adams determined that it would be more productive if his socially awkward son was tutored at home. "
The group chat roasts me for autocorrecting to "Tarantula" instead of "Tarantino"
A graph showing hundreds of independent-seeming companies owned by Nestlé, PepsiCo, General Mills, Kellogg's, Associated British Foods, Mondelēz, Mars, Danone,Unilever, and Coca Cola
A bumper sticker that says "FISH TREMBLE AT THE SOUND OF MY NAME/ IN EQUAL PARTS DIVINE RAPTURE/ AND ECSTATIC TERROR" followed by five copies of the same fish in profile
Text in a promotional email reading "Want to dump us and make Ivan sob quietly in his parking spot before work? Unsubscribe."
Two skeets next to each other in the skyline. First one is a sign in NYC encouraging dog owners to deposit dog poo into the nearest Cybertruck. The next one is the tweet I am currently replying to
A blue trucker hat with the Elmer's glue colors and a picture of a horse with its eyes X'd out. The text reads "Glue lives matter"
Screenshot: "Data Explorer liked this post"
A Tumblr post that reads as follows: Tech Enthusiasts: Everything in my house is wired to the Internet of Things! I control it all from my smartphone! My smart-house is bluetooth enabled and I can give it voice commands via alexa! I love the future! Programmers / Engineers: The most recent piece of technology I own is a printer from 2004 and I keep a loaded gun ready to shoot it if it ever makes an unexpected noise. Security technicians: *takes a deep swig of whiskey* I wish I had been born in the neolithic.
A Simpsons meme captioned "Won't somebody please think of the PROPERTY"
Instagram ad: "If you purchased Super S 303 Tractor Hydraulic Fluid and/or CAM2 Pro Max 303 Tractor Hydraulic Oil between December 1, 2013, and present, you may be a member of the Manufacturer Settlement Class."
"St. George Spirits Botanivore Gin has a thick, warm mouthfeel, with a slightly oily and rich character."
Lifted Subaru Miata
A crudely drawn graph. On the X axis is "Self Esteem", and on the Y axis is "Susceptibility to Flattery". The line begins at Y=0, before hitting an asymptote at a line called the "renahlee tipping point ". On the right side of this asymptote, the line comes down from positive infinity before settling out to a stable positive value as self esteem increases.
A stock render of a 3D stick figure kicking another figure out of a door, leg extended. The kicking figure's head is a photo of a bass, as in the fish.
A screenshot of an ad from Lab Alley for dichloromethane
Two skeets sequentially in the TL. The first post is the one I am currently replying to. The next one says "todays the day i wash my dick"
Cat, rolling around in towels I'm trying to fold, yawning widely, showing teeth, tongue, and back of his throat
A flame point Siamese cat looking at you, calculating the most efficient way to end your life
The Village People in the following costumes: Gay Construction Worker, Gay Cowboy, Gay Army Man, Gay Cop, Gay American Indian stereotype, Leather Daddy Biker
Star with balloons with text that reads "HEALTH INSURANCE CEO DOWN!"
"Cloud Gate" sculpture by Anish Kapoor
The Masochist's Coffee Pot. It is bright red. The spout is directly above the handle.
Instagram chat window with a prompt that reads "Try writing with AI"
The scene from The Matrix where Morpheus is holding the red pill and the blue pill, but instead of a red pill, he's holding a red drinking cup (a Carlisle 5216), and instead of a blue pill, he's holding a blue suction cup dildo
Ad for "the #1 law firm conference on earth", featuring nine extremely smug looking headshots, "cybertruck giveaway", and advertising "with a private concert by Ludacris". It is a garish abomination of graphic design
A piece of paper on a table that reads "Wednesday is cancelled on 10-23-24"
Scronched face shot out of the rear view mirror of a car. Mouth is between the eyes, nose is between the eyebrows.
4 reskeets, 20 likes
Gritty the mascot
Woody Guthrie holding an acoustic guitar that says "This Machine Kills Fascists"