Dylan Platt

@dylanplatt.bsky.social

35 Followers 28 Following

If you don't already know, I'm not gonna be the one to break it to you. He/Him.

Disc Doctor, a cheap crappy device sold in the early 2000s that purported to resurface scratched discs, but in fact just added a weird spiral pattern to the scratches and rarely if ever improved their ability to play.
Screenshot from Movies With Mikey's Fifth Element video -- red block text reads "vaguely French".
Jules Winnfield encourages Brett to try his best to complete the advanced challenges in Yoshi's Story for N64.
Tom Haverford from Parks and Rec holding up a shoe: "Red Carpet insole. Everywhere i go, I'm walking on red carpet."
Store display of TNT-brand "Exploding Reindeer Poop", small paper throwable "snap-pops" commonly used around US Independence Day, except with the paper colored brown. A cartoon reindeer on the display is making a wild face in front of an explosion, implying that it is originating from his anus.
A stern elderly man with a magnificent beard and hooded cloak sits before a shimmering blue orb. His intense expression indicates he is focusing all of what we can only assume are the fathomless, even cosmic, mental facilities he possesses into a singular task, one all-encompassing thought that yet eludes; somehow still exceeding even this powerful ancient being and their unparalleled powers of understanding. The Orb is pondered. It shall ever be so. Ponder the Orb. Ponder. Orb. Orb.