Professionally Certified Woolgatherer

@earational.bsky.social

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In a bizarre twist, I get paid to take pictures. Currently on the Minneapolis side of the river. https://www.deepplanes.com/

An incredibly unappetizing AI image of someone holding some sort of taco. Shredded meat, onions, and cilantro are represented by uncanny, extruded-looking shapes, while a greasy waterfall of cheese oozes out into a decorative bowl full of a mysterious liquid; regularly spaced circular shapes cover the surface of the dip, sometimes approaching the appearance of embroidery, while elsewhere looking like individual cilantro leaves. The overall effect is liquid left out for weeks in a dirty dish in that one flop house we all lived in in our 20s.
A cropped product photo highlighting the part of a Bob's Red Mill branded bag of flour that says "all-purpose".
I have cropped the original screencap to focus on the li'l slide show progress bar, indicating that the first of only two images is showing.
An illustration of the presumed painting style of ancient Greek statues, with an unpainted, unrestored sculpture shown to the left, and the same piece - now with its missing original limbs and decorative details - shown brightly painted to the right.
A close crop of the loaded tot'chos on the sign, showing the disturbingly small and uniform ingredients that almost form a pattern.
Product photo of a ludicrously powerful weed gummy. The gummy itself is about the size of a dinner plate, and is colored a bright teal with like sparkles. It's shown in its packaging, opened like a pizza box to show different serving sizes illustrated on the inside of the cover (30pcs/100mg, 60 pcs/50mg, 90pcs/33mg, and 120pcs/25mg). The proposed pieces radiate out from the center like slices of pie, causing increasingly larger black spots where they converge.
Macro product photography of a steel sports watch. The metal case and matching bracelet feature finely brushed surfaces with mirror-polished accents. The dial is made of blue aventurine, an quartz-y stone material that features mica-like flecks to suggest a starry sky.
A character from the movie The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, created by Dr. Seuss. They are wearing an outlandish bandleader type uniform. There are several multicolored braids/cords, huge medals, kaleidoscopic cuffs, a towering fur hat with ribbons, at least one cape, and a baton
My joke reply about worshiping the troops every day except one day where I do cops instead, seen in the thread next to OP's own post about how July 4th is also about cops.
The "Jazz" graphic motif from old paper cups: Thick, rough zigzag strokes of teal blue, contrasting with a thinner wavy line in purple.
A still from an old Ted Cruz ad where he's hanging out with Duck Dynasty, labeled "Ted Cruz". Ted is holding a shotgun or rifle, and wearing full camo and face paint. He is looking out of frame with great gravitas. Or nervousness, I can't tell. In the background we see one of the Dynasty with his trademark - and here you'll need to imagine me looking at you rather pointedly - beard.
Four collaged black and white images of WWI ships sporting "dazzle" camouflage: Bold zebra stripes in disorienting patterns to confuse distant observers about the type and direction of the vessel.
A still from 90s Saturday Night Live, showing Phil Hartman as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. He is in a courtroom setting with brow wood paneling and wearing a conservative suit. This contrasts with his wild caveman hair and heavy caveman brow. He looks alarmed and is holding a vintage cell phone.
One of those tables where a gap in the wood surface is filled with swirling, colored resins. This one looks like two commingling seas of berry syrup.
A satellite view map of the United States with the various states labeled, as well as large red overlays marking where tornadoes are infamously common: Tornado Alley, Dixie Alley, Carolina Alley, and ... HOOSIER ALLEY.
A still from the show Peacemaker, showing second season character Langston Fleury (Tim Meadows) saying "I have bird blindness."
A cropped detail from the AI movie poster, showing restaurant signage that says "DINEN"
A clipped article thumbnail showing a Snickers bar and reading: FOOD NEWS Snickers Denies 'Dick Veins' Removed from Candy Bar, Other Brands Hilariously Chimed In
A stupid AI cartoon resembling Warner Bro's "Taz" merch of yore: The Tasmanian Devil character is shown wearing a WWI-esque German helmet with bullet holes in it, while holding a gun. The gun is not sure whether it's a pistol or a revolver. His leering mouth holds not one but two cigars.
A tres chic Llama strikes a pose at the Minnesota State Fair. It has the typical dramatic Llama eyebrows and ears.
Promo image of box art for the South Korean action movie, The Villainess (2017). A bisexually lit young woman in cool action movie clothes (leather jacket, etc.), while holding a pistol and carrying a sword at her waist. Also there are sparks!
A clip of a NYT thumbnail, illustrated by a nighttime photo of masked ICE agents, possibly at the scene of the events in question (the background shows snow, emergency vehicles, and tear gas or smoke): ICE Agent Wanted in Minneapolis Shooting Is Captured in Texas
Trump advisor Kevin Hassett, a round-headed man being interviewed outside the whitehouse. As in all such appearances, regardless the insane spin on horrible news he's babbling, he is grinning with a maniacal amiability.
E.T. in the Atari hole.
A clipped line of text from elsewhere on the internet: "National Geographic has listed Minneapolis as one of the top 15 food destinations in the world."
A still from the movie Manodrome, showing a shirtless Jesse Eisenberg staring intensely into the camera in a grungy gym locker room (the camera represents the mirror he is flexing in).
A photo of a scientist standing in a clean room/laboratory setting and wearing protective gear. They appear to be holding a perfectly black circle in one hand, but it is actually a sphere, a basketball painted with light absorbing Vanta® black colored paint.
A promotional image of "rapper"/"vocalist" Hobo Johnson, staring into the middle distance (off the viewer's left shoulder) with a maniacal intensity. Hobo has a mop of dark curls that look permed, and the sparest of mustaches. He also has one of those oversized striped denimy shirts from the 90s, buttoned all the way up like a goddamn twerp.
Someone's photo of the L.L. Bean® "bootmobile," a standard pickup truck that's had a giant fiberglass(?) duck-style boot built up around it, similar to the famous WienerMobile.
The famous picture of DJ Khaled pointing at the viewer as if about to say his catchphrase, "Another one!"
The John Travolta picture everyone's making fun of. He is wearing a traditional men's suit coat in navy with a darker vest underneath. The suit fits naturally at his shoulders and isn't bunching or pinching anywhere. His shirt is either white or a very light blue, and has elegantly long collar points. He has a luxuriously soft Kangol type hat on his bald head, with matching cream colored tie and pocket square (not to my taste but coherent). The only serious issue is his oddly dark and severely-trimmed facial hair which make his face seem fake.
The traditional Vince McMahon "WWE guy increasingly approving" meme images, indicating my experience of reading the sentences of the quoted post.
The lady is realizing that the next whole bit of her set speech will be HATED. She has paused her remarks to think and is drumming her fingers on the side of the podium while licking her lips in a downright stage-y manner.
I have clipped the part of the headline that's hinting at something the reader "absolutely must not do,"
I made it an octgoatsegon. (The OP image with the fingers copy-pasted and flipped so they're on both sides of the central arch shape.)
It's the devilish li'l girl at the house fire meme, with bottom text as follows: Wait until RFK learns [that] me being medicated isn't for my own safety
Snippet of headline: ChatCPT Still Can't Start a Simple Timer
A crop of OPs reposted Trump meme, showing small particles on the shoulders and back of the AI generated president's suit. I assume the AI felt this Trump was at some kind of party, perhaps about how wonderful and strong he is.
Two panels from a three-panel Nancy comic strip. In the first panel, Nancy is looking out of frame in alarm, exclaiming, "Sluggo --- Am I SEEING THINGS?" In the second panel, Sluggo appears to be floating comfortably on his back in midair. His response is "No." I have omitted the final panel, which explains that he's enjoying a space-aged new plastic hammock.
A graph comparing a range of winter temperatures between Oslo, Norway and Minneapolis, USA. Both cities seem to have a band of average low/high temps indicated, as well as record lows. The band comparison shows about a 10° variance on the low end. However, Oslo's lowest temp appears to be 13°, while Minneapolis' is -4°.
A still from the show It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, showing the character Charlie labeling a cardboard box with a letter H while reasoning, "This way we all know it's filled with hornets."
Clipped Twitter post helpfully updating us: "Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was at the White House Correspondents Dinner tonight as a guest of MSNow; he's fine."
One of several Beckett Simonon boots in the combat-esque genre, shown with the expected lug sole and glossy leather.
Product image of the Thursday Boots "Statesman" derby, showing a pair of traditional work shoes in a dark, thick, textured boot leather. They have chunky lug soles like combat boots.
Top part of image is a photo focused on a springtime tree with bright green leaves and white blossoms. Behind it is a red brick building with white-trimmed windows, like a dorm or apartment complex, and other trees. The lower part shows a Popular Science blurb: WHY SPRING SMELLS LIKE SEMEN AND ROTTING FISH
Three drawings of a clock face, as often used to assess someone's mental capacity. The first drawing is normal, showing a round face with hands in the center and numbers 1-12 in the standard "clockwise" arrangement. The second drawing is less assured, with sketchier hands, a sloppier circle shape, and uneven number placement. The artist of the final drawing has forgotten to close the circle, omitted the hands, and dropped numbers 7,8,11, and 12, grouping the rest in roughly the center of the clock.
A screenshot of this post's supposed comment thread, seven strong at the time of capture. It is a greyed-out placeholder with no profile pictures or text, because Bluesky is having website problems.
News video still of Trump making an exaggerated expression of disbelief. His brows are knitted in pretend consternation and his eyes have an "ain't I a stinker?" gleam. His mouth is smiling but agape, as though we should all be dumbfounded at whatever he's lying about. A caption at the bottom shows a fragment of Trump's words: "... could come up with that one."
"Border Czar" Tom Homan, looking here suspiciously less chiseled and composed than on the OP photo of the challenge coin.
An engraving-ish illustration of a 19th Century gentleman on a stroll. His tailoring is jaunty and stylish, and his tall hat is confidently cocked. He has a dark beard and a poetic volume of wavy hair. One hand is stuffed in his coat pocket, grasping the unseen handle of an elegant cane that emerges to rest pointing upwards on his shoulder like a rifle. The other grasps a fat cigarillo. He is looking to the side, not quite askance but certainly assessing archly.
A scientific illustration of a human rectum full of little pellet-y poops due to constipation, labeled: Constipation
An infographic titled Common Peppers on the Scoville Scale, shown as a simple thermometer with Mild at the (green) base and Fire at the (red) top. For the purposes of saving time, my example of Chipotle is only barely into the Medium ranking, even though I perceive it as hotter than (dry) Cayenne, which is on the line marking the start of the Hot segment.
Top down product-style image of a wheel of cheese. The cheese has a pattern pressed into its light tan rind that resembles a woven cane chair seat. The wheel has a quarter cut into it with the wedge pulled slightly free to show the inside of the cheese.
The header for an email I saw first thing today, which is truncated to read: 👀 Furious Trump Launches Huge
Photo showing two women flanking a bearded male sheriff's deputy. They are standing in front of a thawed lake, holding a dated signboard declaring _______ where the phrase "Ice Out" would normally appear, because that part has been literally ripped off.
A headline from The Daily Beast on January 27th, 2026: Defeated Trump Admits ICE Will "De-Escalate" in Minneapolis
A photograph from above, showing the contents of a Pyrex measuring cup: Roasted and pureed Hatch green chile, with sprigs of cilantro.
I have reposted this post about not being perceived.
The character of Armond from the first season of The White Lotus, shown near peak relapse, a blissful, savoring look on his face. CC text at the bottom of the image says, "Death is the end of life."