Brian Baresch

@editer.bsky.social

331 Followers 200 Following

High-functioning screwup. Thinker and blatherer. Profile pic by Covatar. he/him

A photo of a crayfish on wet pavement appearing to be talking into a (possibly photoshopped) TV news microphone, with the text "That shit's cray"
The NYC skyline in deep orange haze, turning the skyscrapers into mere silhouettes. Also amid the silhouettes is Godzilla.
A four-panel cartoon. Captain America answers the phone, "Captain America here, what is your emergency?" A man in indigenous garb responds, "Help us, please!! There's a schoolhouse burning in the village of Huanuni, in the Oruro Department ..." Captain America looks at a map of North and South America. Last panel, the A on his costume now says USA and he answers the phone "Captain USA here, what is your emergency?"
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo, but "Teenage" is changed to "U.S."
Two tangelos, citrus fruits that look like oranges with nipples
A light brown guinea pig is shown carrying a plaid bindle on a stick, walking across a grassy area. Text: Donald Trump's hair finally runs off to seek a better life.
A composite image of an X-ray that appears to be two people's heads close together, and one of the skulls appears to me laughing; that person's hand is making the bunny-ears sign behind the other skull.
A man in an early 20th-century jalopy seeing a wheel fly off the car. Text: Not that wheel Jesus / the steering wheel
A red and white sign in a Target store lists the contents of aisle H31: Beer and Cereal.
Five men in hard hats and related protective gear, standing together in a quarry and giving thumbs up gestures; behind them is a huge dump truck lying on its side. Text: One last photo before we all get fired.
A gray and white pit bulldog on a cobblestone walk, licking a bright yellow popsicle held by a human. The people, visible from the hips down, are wearing running gear. It is obviously a very warm day.
Screenshot showing a similar result to the quoted post: Google search for the word "ignore" searched without quotes. Top result is Google's AI saying "Understood. How can I help you today?"
Spoof flavors of Lay's potato chips: orange juice & toothpaste, onion and banana juice, diet mountain dew, couch, haggis & watermelon, pepperoni dogfart
Spoof flavors of Lay's potato chips: orange juice & toothpaste, onion and banana juice, diet mountain dew, couch, haggis & watermelon, pepperoni dogfart
An early LOLcat: A light yellow easy chair has a brush of some sort standing against its back; it resembles a very large blue-stemmed puff dandelion. A tabby cat is peering around the side at the brush, its ears pulled back as if it is wary. Caption: IT SUSPECTS NOTHING
A flaming skull floats toward a hole in the wall that is shaped exactly like the skull itself and pushes its face in. A sign above the hole says "Tantrum Hole." "[muffled screaming]" is heard.
Meatwad, Master Shake, and Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force
A digital highway sign above a snowy expressway says simply AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
A concrete structure in a field with some black and white cattle. One cow is partly behind the structure, and another is peeking out from the other side; the effect is that the cow appears to be about 20 feet long.
[A hairy man.] Man: Look, I know you think that since I walked out she could use a guy like you. But trust me. That woman has got a lot going on, and you want none of it. Man: Get out while you still can. [Printed across the bottom of the panel.] Stacey's dad.
post by angelmutual: my mum just bought our cat a christmas stocking even tho we are muslims and dont even celebrate christmas?? she was like ‘we dont know what religion he is we cant force him to be muslim’ hes a cat ?
A bulldog puppy sitting in a yard, wearing what appears to be a disgruntled expression, with text "Of course it's Tuesday / This ain't my Friday face"
The alien crew from Galaxy Quest
A post from bombsfall that says "I'm gonna take my frog to the" with a photo of a street sign saying "Old Pond Rd."
Gene Rayburn, host of Match Game in the 1970s, chats with a contestant. He wears a plaid purple suit; the contestant is wearing tartan in a lighter purple. The set is overwhelmingly orange. Rayburn is holding a skinny microphone about two feet long by the bottom end.
Roy Liechtenstein drawing of a man in a suit and tie looking pensive, saying "What was it? ... Damn! I forgot to get a job!"
A white French bulldog flopped on the carpet, holding its front paws close together. Text: We are THIS CLOSE to it being Friday!
A listicle from The Onion of "Top Regional Restaurant Chains" listing made-up eateries such as Captain Donut's Steakhouse, and including a sign for Scrapplebee's
Bob Newhart (psychologist version) on the phone in his office
Two panels from a comic. An angry flaming skull wearing a pointy hat levitates toward an opening in a wall shaped like the skull itself. It pushes its face into the opening, which is labeled "tantrum hole," and muffled screaming is heard.
Cartoon by B. Kliban, titled "Always hide in a place where there are a lot of the same things." A scene of a crowd of men in suits and hats and one gorilla in a suit is captioned "Wrong."
The homeland security advisory chart, with Muppets in the red, orange, yellow, blue and Green color: Elmo, Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster and Oscar.
A woman on a stage releases a large bubble that rises toward the ceiling. Text: But wait: There goes my last fuck.
Tarot-like card showing a man fighting a skeleton, reading: What are the four core character classes? Wrong answers only.
Short comic from Poorly Drawn Lines. Don't Forget: (picture of water bottle) Drink water. (picture of open window) Get sunlight. (picture of potted plant) You're basically a house plant with more complicated emotions.
A cartoon with two potted plants talking near a window. Plant 1: Stop hogging all the sunlight. Plant 2: I'm literally immobile. Plant 1: You're slowly growing toward me at an imperceptible pace. I can see it. Plant 2: Imperceptible means you can't see it. Plant 1: Just stay on your side. Plant 2: I am. [Two years later] Plant 1, as Plant 2 has grown a fraction of an inch closer: Oh, you piece of shit.
An ice or crystal sculpture of a horse, dramatically backlit by a low sun.
Cartoon by Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. Two men talking; one is dressed in futuristic clothes. Man 1: Ha! I did it! I went back in time and assassinated Hartler before he came to power. Man 2: (half paying attention): You mean Hitler? Man 1: No. Who's Hitler? Hartler came to power in 1930s Germany and stabilized currency by pegging the reichmark to the dollar. It caused the Depression to continue till the early 1940s! [notices Man 2's horrified expression] Why, what happened?
The robot chicken from Robot Chicken
Cartoon of a literary agent scowling at a manuscript as the author waits excitedly. The author is a dog and the agent is a cat. Agent: "You tend to overuse the exclamation point."
A big eight-story Mission Revival warehouse topped with a red Montgomery Ward sign.
At a dog run, a woman in black slacks, a dark blue sweatshirt and a full-head French bulldog mask holds the leash of an actual French bulldog in an orange jacket.
post by Erin Chack: america is wrong about everything except fahrenheit. fahrenheit is the correct way to measure temperature. fahrenheit is like "man, it's so hot out. it's gotta be like.......100 hots."
On a bright sunny day a medium-size car parked at a curb is covered in snow with only two side windows visible, under a mound about 2 feet taller than the car itself. Also a snowplow has produced a wall blocking it from the street even more. A nearby car is behind the plowed wall but has been uncovered at some point. The backdrop is a row of storefronts with dark green awnings in a brick building, also bearing notable accumulations of snow.
Wile E. Coyote being blown up by his own explosive rig, as the Roadrunner looks on without empathy.
Post by Patton Oswalt Q: If you WERE gay, who--- EVERY STRAIGHT MAN: Idris Elba
"Your 2026 Word" from Merriam-Webster: "slapdash"
A 1950s depiction of what an underwater house may look like: A bulbous teardrop shape, with an umbilical structure heading toward the surface. A small submarine is passing nearby.
Four-panel comic. Two men, one has a dog. First man: Does your dog bite? Second man: No, but he can hurt you in other ways. Dog: Only 1% of ancient literature has survived. First man: (recoiling in pain)
"Piglet thought that they ought to have a Reason for going to see everybody, like Looking for Small or Organizing an Expotition, if Pooh could think of something Pooh could. “We’ll go because it’s Thursday,” he said, “and we’ll go to wish everybody a Very Happy Thursday.” --A.A. Milne" with an original illustration of Pooh and Piglet
The original post, just above a post by Endless Screaming that says AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
A black and white puppy with blue eyes, wearing a tan jacket, stands on some snow and sniffs the photographer's hand.
A handwritten sign taped in a window says "NO!!! Solicitation!!! except Tamale Lady"
A large shrubbery with a wooded area visible behind it. Poking out of the top is a warning sign that has been almost swallowed by the shrubbery, so that only the top few inches is visible, showing the word NO
my sister works in a nursery (in scotland for context) and today a kid came up to her and said "can you put on 'release my wee da'? I want to dance" and my sister was like ?? what the fuck is 'release my wee da', so the kid sang a line of it. turns out, feliz navidad
A circular bicycle or vehicle horn with a big rubber bulb on the rear end hangs in an antique store. The rubber bulb is cracked and obviously old. A tag on the horn reads "Don't"
Three bottles of homemade vodka infusions arrayed on a wooden table. Handwritten tags on the bottle identify the respective infusions as basil, orange, and vanilla.
A plastic toy car shaped like an apple and driven by Lowly Worm from Richard Scarry's Busytown cartoons.
A post with photo of a programmable highway sign in a snowy area with tall pine trees; the sign says "Do Not Let Moose." The post itself says "YOU FOOLS. YOU LET MOOSE."