Eephus Tosser

@eephustosser.bsky.social

1598 Followers 488 Following

Baseball. MLB Draft analysis. Big West Conference. Views are my own and almost exclusively bad. ✡️

From Titanic: Rose's hand, pressed into steamy glass.
Florida Bobcats After going undrafted in the 1999 NFL draft, Feely kicked for the Florida Bobcats of the Arena Football League. That season, he went 2-for-5 in field goal attempts and 8-for-13 in extra point attempts. He added three tackles (two solo) and forced a fumble. Tampa Bay Storm Feely kicked for the Tampa Bay Storm in 2000, converting one of six field goal attempts and three of four extra point attempts. He returned one kickoff for 22 yards.
The Walt Disney Concert Hall, featuring Frank Gehry's curved steel frame and flowing lines, but it looks distorted, with multiple exposures stacked on top of one another, giving it a feeling of motion.
Hollywood Bowl Blues Traveler Gin Blossoms Spin Doctors Tonight 8:30
Judge Hughes noted the seriousness of the crime and how other baseball teams now must have tighter and more intrusive security. “You have made it harder for them to live their lives,” Hughes noted. Correa apologized and attempted to call his behavior reckless, but the judge corrected him. “No, you intentionally and knowingly did these acts.”
Flowers in soft focus. Beyond them, a mountain peak underneath a dramatic, cloudy sky.
Matthew Thomas — LF | 6’3”, 205 lbs., R/R | Junior Thomas carried his hot start into the weekend. He showcased raw strength, timing, and bat control, driving a fastball over the outer half roughly 400 feet to center and lifting against a shift by going the other way into deep left. He’s strong athletically without needing excess swing speed, and his body works in harmony — upper and lower halves synchronized through impact. With competent baserunning mechanics (not burner, but controlled), Thomas profiles as a corner bat with present strength and advanced feel. The remaining questions center on handling top-level spin and velocity consistently, but the tools are present to establish a reliable offensive floor.
Aaron Judge's face on Matt Freese's body.
Jim Doed, in a green polo, with a white mustache and glasses, wearing headphones. In the lower right hand corner, the logo "Team Coco Podcasts." It's a still image from the podcast "Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend," in which guest Jim Downey refers to notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein as "New York Financier."
Michael Scott saying "Well, Happy Birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame," but Jesus has been crossed out and replaced with America.
"Welcome Assistant Coach Joe Kelly.," along with the Major Leaguer's playing resume.
The beleaguered Oompa Loompa from Willy's Chocolate Experience in Glasgow. Staring deadpan at the camera through a haze.
Me, eating a donut in front of the iconic Randy's Donuts sign, which is in fact just a large donut.
A bumper sticker reading: "This car climbed Arby's Meat Mountain."
Left-handed pitcher Jung Bong in a Braves uniform.
“It was just one of those things where we’ve seen other baseball players do it, so we went along with it,” said reliever J.T. Brubaker, who along with Walker and starter Landen Roupp displayed their objections over their faith by inscribing versions of the bible verse Genesis 9:12-16 on their caps alongside the rainbow logo the team has worn for the annual game since 2021. Sam Hentges opted out entirely by wearing the Giants’ normal black and orange hat. “Not just to go along with it, but those are our beliefs,” Brubaker continued in an interview with The Post. “We felt there wasn’t going to be as much kickback on it. … Players have done it in the past and it didn’t seem like it was blown up that big.”
"Brisket family tradition," a tweet by Senator John Cornyn on Dec 24th. The nastiest, greyish-brown brisket you've ever seen. It looks like meatloaf covered in melted Swedish fish.
The Milky Way, above a jagged ridgeline.
The stupidest image possible, with a game being played at Comiskey Park and Jim Carrey from The Truman Show walking into the scoreboard.
Lauren Conrad tells Heidi Montag "He's a sucky person! He's a sucky person! I'm never going to like Spencer."
A woman stands, legs akimbo and arms behind her back, forming a triangle under a logo which also has a triangle and says "The Academy."
A singer in a dirndel belts on a stage, arm raised, in front of an accordionist, a drummer, and a conspicuously-bearded tubist.
"Todd," from the series Jury Duty, sitting on his chair pants, or "chants."
A handsome man in a blue sun hoodie stands in front of the signs from M*A*S*H, which point out the direction and distance to places like Seoul, Toledo, and Burbank.
Ellen Greene as Audrey in "Little Shop of Horrors," saying "Excuse me, doctor."
An ad from Astros.com: "All You Can Eat Seats"
Daikin Park from section 110.
A black and white image of a brunette woman with glasses and a rather chic 1970s jacket, standing amidst a leaf-covered autumnal forest with two small boys. One, a big dork who smells like butts, stands with a goofy grin on his face and his arms straight down to his sides. He is in a silver jacket. The other — impossibly cool and effortlessly charminf even as a toddler — stands in profile, face turned to the camera. In a pointy-hooded jacket, he screams "I have places to be, sure, but for you I can spare three minutes." You can't help liking this kid.
Astros.com, with the message "403 Forbidden."
A tweet from April 2025 from THIS EXACT SAME DUDE saying "I know Tucker wasn't part of that Astros team but fuck him anyway"
The "Home Run Apple" (probably an empire or Cortland and not actually a galaxy variety) on display in a bed of blue and orange flowers outside of Citi Field.
Looking down a narrow alleyway to the Gateway Arch in St. Louis.
It must not be forgotten, too, that the New York team had the benefit of excellent pitching throughout the year. In the new record for pitchers, which has been established this season by Secretary Heydler of the National League, and which in part was the outcome of the agitation in the GUIDE for a new method of records, in which the various Base Ball critics of the major league cities so ably contributed their opinions, Tesreau leads all the pitchers in the matter of runs which were earned from his delivery. Mathewson is second, Ames is fifth, Marquard seventh and Wiltse and Crandall lower, and while both the latter were hit freely in games in which they were occasionally substituted for others, they pitched admirably in games which they won on their own account. In the opinion of the writer this new method, which has been put into usage by Secretary Heydler, is far superior to anything which has been offered in years as a valuable record of the actual work of pitchers. It holds the pitcher responsible for every run which is made from his delivery. It does not hold him responsible for any runs which may have been made after the opportunity has been offered to retire the side, nor does it hold him responsible for runs which are the result of the fielding errors of his fellow players. On the other hand, if he gives bases on balls, if he is batted for base hits, if he makes balks, and if he makes wild pitches, he must stand for his blunders and have all such runs charged against him as earned runs.
Daniel Johnson with so so many muscles and two full sleeves of tattoos, wearing a sleeveless red jersey that says "American" (as in League) across the chest.
My Instagram "suggested reels," which are two of the exact same video featuring a hirsute, swarthy, shirtless man wearing a Dodgers cap and sitting in a car. The on-screen caption of the video(s) says "that's a rough 23."
A framed image of sunbeams dappling a curving road.
Hospital rock, red and black with petroglyphs.
An enormous volcanic plug, known as Morro Rock, stands guard over a harbor filled with sailboats.
USC's Dedeaux Field under a blue sky.
A "blank" notebook sheet with some players' names written in (Mason Edwards, Miles Risley, and Adrian Lopez).
A tweet from Senator John Cornyn that says "brisket family tradition" with what looks like maybe a meatloaf? Some sort of dry, ketchup-stained concoction in a glass baking dish. It's awful, and the date - December 24, 2020 - reminds us that it was the worst thing to happen in that year.
A bunch of scribblings, filling a notebook with observations on pitchers and hitters for the two teams in the game. I will spare you (and myself) the effort of trying to decipher my handwriting, not least because I am mortified for people to read my unfiltered thoughts. I just think the overall image of it is kinda neat.
A rocket with a streak behind it.
Ethan Swope's Instagram feed: Five photos of the war in Ukraine and one of Jorge Soler in a crisp white Los Angeles Angels uniform, poised to throw a punch.
MLBguessr score of 44,735.
Ryan Weiss's Baseball Reference page, with the pronunciation of his name circled. It reads "Pronunciation: \like rice\"
A post saying "love the insinuation that the Mariners were throwing at Trout on purpose in a one run game. Simply not how things work."
A sign that says "Koshka" on a door at the vet office. Accompanying it is a cartoon rendering of a jolly grey-and-white cat.
The tiniest fourteen-year-old baby cat sitting unfazed inside a completely unzipped carrier bag at the vet office.
UPDATE: Megan Thee Stallion (theestallion): “[Tuesday] night was a real wake-up call for me. I’ve been pushing myself past my limits lately, running on empty, and my body finally said enough. It honestly scared me. I thought I was gonna faint on stage, I really tried to push through my performance but I just couldn’t. Hotties I wanna be real with y’all because you mean everything to me and I hate letting yall down 🥺 I just need one day to rest, reset, and take care of myself the way I should have been..I’ll be right back on that stage Thursday [tonight], stronger, clearer, and ready to give you 100% the way you deserve. Thank you for always riding with me and loving me through everything”
Jason Mendoza from "The Good Place," with a dialogue bubble.
The SNL "dick in a box" sketch.
Hank Conger, in an orange Los Astros uniform, doing the "Conger Boy," where he would tilt his head to the sky, cock his arms at right angles, and unleash a robotic celebration for the ages. Behind him are triples king Evan Gattis and Colby Rasmus, who somehow once had a 25-homer season as an Astro.
Michael Scott from "The Office" saying "That's highway robbery," but it's been changed to "That's Kei-Wei Roddery."
Freddie Freeman in Korean military dress unform with what looks like those little beady glasses you wear when you go in a tanning bed.
A high-key (primarily white, with light shading) photo of a coyote on a pile of mulch.
Ground-level view of a reflecting pool with two ducks in it.
My car dashboard with the temperature of 115° displayed.
"men in LA ...... get off ur phones & STOP becoming influencers.... we need GAFFERS ! ! ! these shows dark as HELL i cant see SHIT 😭😭😭