Errol 🦇🏳️‍🌈

@eerieseymour.bsky.social

2318 Followers 1014 Following

Award-nominated Writer and Narrative Designer. Queer historian of queer history. Nightmare enthusiast. Editor. Bisexual. Cat owner. Listen, how long have you got? ➡️ errolseymour.carrd.co ⬅️

A photograph of a shitty comic on an A4 sheet of white paper separated into four panels: Panel 1: The Oppressor, an enormous, half-melted metal statue animated by dark magic helps a grateful old lady with a zimmer frame across the road. Panel 2: The Oppressor helpfully checks in on his neighbours by climbing threateningly through a broken window. Panel 3: The Oppressor straight-up explodes a guy’s head. Panel 4: The Oppressor rescues a pair of tiny kittens from a hungry Zoog.
The cover of Masayoshi Takanaka’s album “the rainbow goblins”
A photograph of a sweet, round tabby cat sitting on a wall beneath a brilliant midnight blue sky. She’s not my cat. She turned up at my airbnb in Granada and the host said he shared her with his neighbour. “I wonder where she eats?” My friend asked. “Everywhere, by the look of it.”
Meme in the style of the “you wouldn’t download a car” anti-piracy ads that reads “you wouldn’t pirate a bread”
A photograph of the author (dark hair, white shirt, cute lil’ scarf situation) languishing like an exhausted dilettante after one (1) drink.
A photograph of the aforementioned Scary Bisexual IKEA Sofa, an otherwise ordinary couch that for some godforsaken reason has been covered in life-size fabric hands in blue, pink and purple. There are two pink rubber hands on each arm of the sofa clutching it in a manner reminiscent of a condemned man clinging to the electric chair. Purple embroidered text on the back cushions reads “when you change OR to AND Nobody believes you.” It is deeply unpleasant to look at and I am sorry I have described it to you.
A photograph of a “no smoking” sign on a gate that has been cut in half and stuck back together such that it now reads “Norking”.
A screenshot of question 13 of the linked quiz, which reads: “the game is scheduled at 7:30, so you arrive at:”
A photograph of a Malabar giant squirrel, a large red, black and white rodent. It is lying on its stomach facing the camera and eating a small red fruit from the plant behind it.
A photograph of a peach-coloured membership card for the Caribbean Club in Norwich, from the 1980s.
A photograph of a small seagull plushie labelled “Seymour Seagull Plush” in a plexiglass prison (probably due to his many war crimes)
A photograph of a box containing a miniature version of the abyssal labyrinth, including a miniature version of this author, probably composing their own skeet about an even tinier labyrinth with an even tinier version of themself inside.
Ad from the December 1921 issue of Photoplay with the text “Cook books are the enemies of teeth and gums”
Photograph of the Paston Treasure, a truly awful painting of a collection of objects (including 15 actual treasures from the Paston collection, two (presumably living) children, and assorted standard-issue still life bits like fruit and mandolins). Every single object is painted at a different size and perspective. There is a particularly horrible looking lobster and a globe where not even one continent is in the correct place. A severed deer head is holding an off-centre, weirdly two-dimensional clock. One object is a completely black painting. One of the children looks as though she is trapped starving to death beneath the objects piled on top of her. The artist is anonymous, probably because nobody wanted to be associated with this thing.
An illustration of Jack Valentine, a Victorian man in a scarf and top hat. He is holding a wrapped present above his head. Illustration by Matt Willis of Shuck zine.
A photo of the skeeter (yeah we’re calling in that), a person with short dark hair in a yellow raincoat. I’m sat on a metal grille in a dark cistern, looking away from the camera at a screen showing scenes of underwater exploration. I wish this was my house but sadly not yet.
A picture of a Tonberry, a small green round creature wearing a cloak and carrying a lantern and a knife.
A photograph of a folded paper zine with the title “Be a queer archivist”, ransom note style. You can also see my horrible grubby nails. Sorry.
A photograph of the skeeter in a yellow rain jacket, holding aloft a gloriously round orange pumpkin. Storm clouds gather overhead. The other pumpkins in the patch (too many to count) look on in awe.
A photograph of a white wall with a blue sign attached. It reads: Concealed electrical cables, do not drill any walls
A tumblr post by ronaldreagancutupwhiletalkin with a photograph of an echidna (a small brown animal with a long snout and sad little eyes) standing in a patch of dirt. The text reply, by user worm-suggestion, says “It looks funny, right? You think it looks funny. I do too. But it lives its whole life. So you have to take it seriously eventually, right? And be respectful and shit. I think it can digging in the ground for tubers.”
A photograph of a crowd of people surrounding a truly juvenile eagle owl (Big. Grey. A Little Haunted.) being gently held by a handler. The owl is staring directly at the camera, as though his enormous black eyes can see straight into my soul.
The box art for Silent Hi- I mean Fatal Frame
A photograph of a fluffy orange persian cat looking approvingly at a (pretty good) drawing of himself.
A photo of iconic hecklers Statler and Waldorf from The Muppet Show
A photograph taken on a bright, sunny day, of a telegraph pole that has been struck by lightning. A charred copy of a planning application is stuck to the trunk.
A screenshot from a whatsapp group chat wherein the skeeter has posted a middling photo of a lime hawkmoth caterpillar on a pavement captioned “BIG CATERPILLAR”. There’s no further context. The caterpillar isn’t even that big.
A still from the movie Phantom of the Paradise, depicting Beef, a grimacing glam rock singer played by Gerrit Graham.
A headshot of Riley Blue from Sense8, a white woman with a round face and blonde, bob-length hair. She is smiling.
A cropped version of the Donkey Kong meme where he’s sitting on a ledge and holding up one finger to indicate the word “once”.
A photograph of three ushabtis (carved figures representing servants to assist the deceased in the afterlife). The two ushabtis on the left are markedly more crudely-made than the one on the right, which looks roughly realistic. These ones have awkward, blocky proportions and eyes which take up a good third of their face. They are carrying a square basket and a pile of cones (?), which I’m sure are essential items in the afterlife.
A black cat (Misty) sat in front of a television screen playing the game Blue Prince. The cat is looking intently at what is displayed on the screen.
A screenshot of a tumblr post by user xinezine which reads: “what if the solution to all your problems is to get really into the history of polar exploration. Have you tried that”
A photo of the skeeter (blue hair, matching dungarees) petting a goat in a barn. The goat is subtly (for a goat) indicating that it would like some of the grass pellets in the paper bag I’m holding.
A cropped screenshot of a headline from Them, which reads: “Nearly One in 10 Americans Now Identify as LGBTQ+, Thanks to Bisexuals and Gen Z.” The image behind it is a couple holding hands.
Photograph of a painting of a bald-headed saint with a massive machete sticking out of his head. His expression does not reflect the seriousness of the situation.
A 2000s ad for playstation. Two human arms are gripping a playstation controller tightly. The ‘O’, ‘X’, ‘Triangle’ and ‘Circle’ symbols are in their veins. Also the forearms are like, horribly long. Bad to look at.
A greyscale photograph of Denis Lillie sitting on a crate on the Terra Nova (I am informed this is a Boat). He is looking lovingly at a glass sponge the size of his torso, which he has to hold in both hands.
On the right is an image of the Madonna and child taken from an altarpiece. On the left is The Poster (blue hair, amazing outfit) unkindly imitating the Madonna’s pouty expression.
Detail from a painting of a naval battle in the Palazzo Ducale, Venice. The image shows a man doubled over in pain. He is clutching his bald head, which has an arrow directly through the middle of it.
Photograph of a lamp shaped like a black cat. It is unspeakably bad to look at.
A poor-quality photo of San Giorgio Maggiore church in Venice. (The joke is that it’s the church from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, look, I never said the joke was funny and I have been on a plane for what feels like a decade)
A photo of a small black cat on beige-carpeted stairs. She has cataracts, which is why she has to learn how to use the stairs.
A photograph of 11 stone lions on a pallet in a salvage yard. The lions are in various states of repair and most have moss growing on them.
A tan leather sofa (?) that looks upsettingly like the worms from Dune
Another photo of the same black cat in the corner of a darkened room. She is stood on her hind legs staring at the wall in a manner reminiscent of the possessed guy from The Blair Witch Project (1999). She did this for HALF AN HOUR.
A photograph of a black cat peering over a sofa. She has gnarly cataracts but is otherwise very sweet.
A photo of the squirrels’ ringleader, Chungus McGee. He is a grey squirrel, pictured walking across a mossy rock.
A photo of a christmas card envelope with the handwritten text: “Errolle [sic but also SICK AF] + Scott [that’s my husband]”
A photograph of the front of a white paper booklet from the LGBT+ Carol Service at St. John the Baptist church on Timberhill, Norwich. A cartoon angel with an earring in their right ear and a beanie propeller hat overlooks a flock of cheerful sheep. Their robe, embroidered with clouds, also reads: “Comfort”, “Joy”, and “Glad Tidings.” Two sheep in the foreground hold signs with the date (Monday 16th December 2024 at 7:30 PM) and location (as above).
A photo of the skeeter (blue hair, inexplicable raincoat, adorable cheeky lil’ grin) in an enormous kitchen, which she now owns in PERPETUITY (or realistically for about five years)
A screenshot of a news article. The headline is “Now bats threaten to block ANOTHER multi-million pound Norfolk road scheme”. The headline image is an aerial shot of the proposed road in question. A smaller inset image on the bottom right shows a map of the area. The inset image immediately above is a photograph of a concerned-looking bat being held gently by a gloved hand.
A screenshot from my cursed and haunted spotify wrapped featuring a man in a black fedora on a boat. I deadass have no idea who this is so just imagine it as a musician I should definitely recognise.
A photo of the Royal Arcade in Norwich, an art-nouveau style building with huge lantern lights along the glass ceiling. The storefronts are lit up with warm, festive lights and garlands of greenery.
Photograph of a hand-lettered text about FEELING. To illustrate the concept of ‘feeling’ an ink drawing of a sad-looking nobleman has been included. He looks as though he’s briefly glimpsed the future and has discovered emails.
A screenshot from the game Fashion Dreamer featuring two in-game characters, dressed identically in a blue t-shirt with rainbow sleeves, a rainbow-striped skirt, and heart-shaped glasses.
A screenshot of the fashion game Fashion Dreamer, showing a player showroom. In the centre two mannequins are dressed as Glinda and Elphaba from Wicked - one pink, one green and black. A pair of ruby slippers sits between them. The rest of the room is themed similarly.
A photograph of an absolutely massive ball of mistletoe. Tree for scale.
A photo of a Halloween pumpkin with a ghoulish grin. He has a little hat made from the lid.