El Jefe De Security ("Retired" )

@eljefe.social

2656 Followers 450 Following

I'm Thee Sarcastic Warrior, RETIRED Keeper of Secrets in MSR, FORMER Inquisitor of the CTO, LAST Defender of Caturdays, Hugger of Trees and Hunter of Bots.

One bite left.

It needs gravy. Too dry otherwise while it looks good with 2 pieces of countryfied steak fingers, egg on a biscuit it needs tangy, pepper sweet or something

I wonder if that ninja crow is waiting for peanuts...

Doggito rolling on his back

Onedrive July 17 today over the years. See what made this day special over time.

It's a picture of grass. Dry. Dead. Grass. Like my soul.

Brouillette “has nearly a decade of federal law enforcement experience with required training.”

I ain't writing tall that privacy bullshit from paramiunt+ out fuck that shit.

Me laundering money

Crow with 2 peanuts it it's beak.

King jelly bean. Fuck that guy.

a retro 90s-style ad for a drink called 'System D-light.' The bottle uses System D’s signature green hues and the design playfully references recent System D vulnerabilities.

6.39 for regular 7.39 for deisel.

Empire state building climbers unraveling flag. Flag says, 'it was always DNS...'

76 gas station sign showing $7.39 for diesel $6.79 for unleaded and fuck you trump I hope you die in a gas fire you senile old fuck.

Franks red hot, Tapatio and Sriracha

Race stickers passed inspections for battery, safety, weight, telemetry, flipping rain and braking

Copilot Prompt : make me a real life portrait of Bob Dobbs the subgenius.

Copilot responds with:

Generating image:
"summoning the sacred grin..."

Bob Dobbs. Ai generated

After 27 years, I’ve decided to retire from Microsoft on July 1 with the rest of my cohort. It has been an extraordinary run: from starting as a .NET developer associate consultant, to growing into Enterprise Strategy Consulting, to moving into MSIT Security, where I spent a decade across app reviews, malware, DLP, patch management, SecOps chief of staff work, and executive duty officer responsibilities for incident response. I had a short but memorable stint running Bing security, then spent my last decade in Microsoft Research, working at the edge of AI and security with some of the smartest, kindest, strangest, and most relentless people I’ve ever known. If I told even half the stories, it would burn off both your ears.
This early retirement VRP offer changed my existing retirement plans, opened avenues that were just dreams; but we know that dreams are lies, it’s the dreaming that’s real. So now I’ll get some rest, recharge, and reset for where I no longer must play for silver, I can play for Life, but I’m too young to retire, and not old enough to stop hunting, and still stubborn enough to keep dreaming, coz without love in the Dream, it’ll never come true. Where this now takes me is still a mystery, So while I go off into statis and dream a little dream about my next adventure, I want to leave with gratitude for the people who made the last 27 years meaningful, I ask you: Dream hard, fail big, keep your eye on the horizon and your heart in the moment. TTFN and thanks for all the phish.

Single chair in blue light on the Paramount stage, from the upper upper mezzanine

My white car in my parking spot next to a person who clearly doesn't know how to park their damn boat of a minivan clearly way over the line.

Confessional Booth of Our Digital Sins
Okay, deep breath, let's get this over with. In the grand act of digital self-sabotage, we've littered this site with cookies. Yep, we did that. Why? So your highness can have a 'premium' experience or whatever. These traitorous cookies hide in your browser, eagerly waiting to welcome you back like a guilty dog that's just chewed your favorite shoe. And, if that's not enough, they also tattle on which parts of our sad little corner of the web you obsess over. Feels dirty, doesn't it?

McDaniel then explained this was the third time he’d gotten the Cybertruck stuck in water. “The third time you’ve done this?” the officer asked.

“Yes,” McDaniel said.

Doggito heard you needed him.

I see your nachos and submit my weak ass Al pastor with no pineapple and I am Hella dissed by these Chicago street tacos.

Italian beef sandwich with hot peppers

These are not the droids you are looking for