Em

@emgran.bsky.social

322 Followers 249 Following

Vintage internet, from an internet vampire. 🟨🟣🏳️‍⚧️

A meme showing a toddler with dirt on his face with the caption "Today's 3 year olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. Me? When I was 3, the only 'lap top' I had was a Lenovo ThinkPad" The joke is that "Lenovo ThinkPad" is replacing a more obvious answer, like "dirt" or "Acorn BBC Model 3".
This is a meme depicting two people at a record score. The meme often depicts them superficially "connecting" over something, but thinking about very different things. In this version, they are both thinking about the Ship of Theseus. This refers to an ancient Greek proverb, where the Ship of Theseus has had every part of it replaced, but is still the Ship of Theseus. Or is it?
A diagram from an old textbook, noting medical achievements that made the average lifespan longer. It illustrates this with a series of suited white men, some of whom are taller than others. The taller men on the right are meant to indicate long life. However, this is a very odd depiction, given that taller people are not necessarily long lived, even if they are white and wear a suit.
A screen shot of Elrond, a character from the Lord of the Rings, in which he recounts how he is very old and remembers things from 3000 years ago. Except, in this version, Elrond only thinks he is old, because he was on Twitter and only arrived here 1.5 scaramuccis ago, at most.
A picture of Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the Fifth House, holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. I intend to be her when I grow up, that is, about 325 years (12 kcc) from now.
A text message between two friends, one of whom is named "Leonhard". Leonhard asks, "yo when are you going to the party". His friend replies, "i'll be there in e hours" He then corrects himself to say "3 hours", but this correction is not delivered, probably due to a signal failure. Later, Leonhard asks "yo it's been 2.718 hours and you're still not here where are you", which is a reference to Euler's number, "e". Euler's first name was "Leonhard". I think I would like some e right now.
A Facebook Marketplace listing of a table. It has been flagged by Facebook for "going against our rules on overly sexual products". This is probably a mistake by the algorithm. However, it is a very sexy table, as tables go. It is circular, has four legs, and is extendable. If I were dating tables, these are probably things I would look for.
A screenshot of an advertisement email from VioVet, an online retailer of pet products, offering a "Cyber Monday" discount. I do not have a bionic cat, but I should like one. I would call it "Cat5e".
A comic in three panels. A long-haired stick figure character is interacting with a bald stick figure character. The bald character is sitting at a desk with a laptop. Character 1 says "You should join Google+" Character 2 says "What is it?" 1 "Not Facebook!" 2 "What's it like?" 1 "Facebook!" We see the bald figure staring at their laptop screen, considering the other character's suggestion. We then see them monologuing while interacting with their laptop. "Oh, what the hell," they say. "I guess that's all I really wanted."
A desktop computer environment with two screens. The screens have a quote from Star Wars Episode 1; "This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them."
A Novation CAT acoustic coupler modem from the late 70s. You placed a telephone headset onto it. It could not send you pictures of cats. It could send you a description of a cat, however. Everyone experienced the internet through alt text in those days.
A list of London underground lines with their new colours. Some of the colours are the same as other colours. Some of the other colours are not the same, but this is not very helpful as there are a lot to remember. I have very good eyesight when I am wearing my glasses.