Evan Allgood

@evoooooooooooo.bsky.social

618 Followers 538 Following

Writer for The New Yorker, McSweeney's, The Believer, The Millions, The Novelizers, Current Affairs, Points in Case, Vol. 1 Brooklyn https://www.evanallgood.com/

A Google search for "Widow's Bay"; Google asks, "Did you mean: the next martha's vineyard and definitely not cursed"
A black pigeon with red talons standing on top of a container of (unused) poop bags at Sean Casey Animal Rescue in Brooklyn
Kevin Durant on his phone
Keri Russell on The Americans wearing sexy gigantic glasses
"Spring" by Edna St. Vincent Millay
Martin Scorsese raising his hands, palms out, in a way that I'm told says "absolute cinema"
A redshirt lies in bed staring hopelessly at the ceiling
A comment on a New York Times article in which someone from beautiful Vermont lavishes praise on AOC for most of a paragraph before ultimately deeming AOC "an excellent vice president for Gavin Newsom."
A handsome black pit bull in the snow
Gambit wearing a backwards hat, shades, and shorts
Bishop tells Gambit that he was "first in [his] class when it came to pounding smart-mouthed Cajuns."
An ad from an old X-Men comic for TRANS-BOTS
Your 2026 Word: potato
Bong Joon Ho saying "To me, that's cinema."
Goliath of the Gargoyles looking very hot and dumb
Back of a whiskey bottle: "James Watt Kelly's infamous whiskey has been reborn!"
44-year-old Philip Rivers celebrates throwing a touchdown
The Redwall Cookbook by Brian Jacques (illustrated by Christopher Denise)
People headline: "Knives Out Director Wants to Cast Meryl Streep in Next Murder Mystery"
The opening of Planes, Trains & Automobiles: "New York City, two days before Thanksgiving"
A newspaper box wearing a cowboy hat
David Brooks: "The Epstein Story? Count Me Out."
A handsome black and white bully mix
A satirical ad for Democratic "Inaction Figures," featuring Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries
Alejandro Arbona's brilliant graphic novel LAKE YELLOWWOOD SLAUGHTER
A weirdly doctored photo of Zohran Mamdani, which accompanies an op-ed by Bret Stephens: "Why Mamdani Frightens Jews Like Me"
Astoria the wild turkey chills in the Battery
Jackson Lamb on Slow Horses saying, "At least my lot fuck up on an epic scale."
Danny Ocean going over the plan in Ocean's 11
Twinkie, a handsome and happy golden retriever
The wrestler Sting in his blonde surfer era
A sign in a florist's window that says "National Boyfriend Day Oct 3rd" next to a drawing of Spider-Man
NYT headline: A New Democratic Think Tank Wants to Curb the Influence of Liberal Groups
A cute, chunky little brown-and-white bully mix with hazel eyes
Bernie, a handsome gray-and-white poodle mix
Skittles, an adorable brown-and-white bully mix, stands in front of a basket of free peaches
"Jeff Bezos launched his fiancée, Lauren Sánchez, and other women into space"
Ben Shapiro with a receding hairline
The "There's too much fucking shit on me" guy from I Think You Should Leave
Zohran Mamdani's socialist promises: Every day is Free Comic Book Day
A euphoric and wet LeBron James, wearing a Wizards hat for some reason, says he's smiling through it all and can't believe this is his life.
James Franco with a noose around his neck saying, "First time?"
A chocobo in Final Fantasy Tactics who is about to be removed from the party says, "...expel?? Is Expel...good??"
In X-Force #3, Juggernaut and Black Tom Cassidy capture several billionaires in order to extort them.
A box of If You Care brand coffee filters
Jessica Lange on American Horror Story saying there's not going to be a New Yorker the week after a double issue you stupid slut
Brainchild says that "an entrance by Magento is always impressive" in Rogue: The Savage Land #4
Wolves guard Donte DiVincenzo nonverbally expressing that he has holy water in his veins
A screenshot of the movie Swingers, in which Sue says, "We kept our rep, bro."
Twister, an adorable gray and white bully
Rogue calls Magneto "Magento" in Rogue: The Savage Land #3