existennialmemes

@existennialmemes.bsky.social

649 Followers 37 Following

I am Plum you may know me from such social media accounts as Millennial Memes for Existential Extremes on Facebook and Existennialmemes on Tumblr.

Tumblr User existennialmemes: "Nobody wants to work anymore" he scoffs, as he sprints down an alleyway, narrowly avoiding the shambling horde of zombies behind him. "Nobody wants to work anymore" he repeats, as his feet scrape the pavement through the tattered shoes he can't afford to replace. "Nobody wants to work anymore" he yells, as another flash blizzard springs up around him. "Nobody wants to work anymore" he sighs, as his AmazonSmart Oximeter beeps to remind him that he needs 12 more productivity hours this week to earn full oxygen allotment. "Nobody wants to work anymore" he wails as he rounds the corner, stumbling directly into another horde of zombies. "Nobody wants to work anymAghhhh" he shrieks as he's eaten by zombies.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Jokes aside, I am feeling rather anxious that there are so many CEOs still at large. Tumblr User existennialmemes replied: I just think it's frightening that dangerous people like that are allowed to roam freely where at any time, they might walk into a boardroom and kill thousands of people with a stroke of their pen.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: For those of you outside the US trying to understand our recent current events, here's a fact sheet on US Health Insurance Companies: They are all run by cartoon villains The only way they make money is by denying as many people care as possible They get to decide which medicines and procedures you get to have, not your doctor They also get to decide how much they pay doctors for covered procedures, regardless of the billed cost for those procedures You typically have to pay a significant deductible on top of your monthly premiums before they'll even pay out at all They don't literally consume human souls in a parasitic bid to live forever, but they metaphorically consume human souls in a parasitic bid to live forever.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: The Claims Adjuster There was once a modest man No one knew his name He was not seeking riches He was not seeking fame He sought only justice For crimes gone unopposed He set the tide in motion Deny, Defend, Depose For too long we've suffered He refused to play their game Now he's changed the rules May we never learn his name
Plum is laying on their side wearing a sparkly silver crop top, a long red and green mesh skirt with a high slit, and though high fishnets. They have a crown of horns and flowers on their head, clawed gloves, and are holding a big stick and smirking at the camera. text reads: May the Poor be Merry And the Rich be Wary
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Apocalypse movie where the World Ending Event is just the working class rising up together. And the movie is from the perspective of a rag tag group of NY billionaires trying to get to the coast so they can escape on their yachts. And it's a classic horror/thriller in that most of them do not make it, but at the end one or two actually get to the coast. And they set sail on their mega yacht. Making plans to just live at sea for a while until they look different enough that they can sneak back into society undetected. And then you just hear this loud THUD and the whole boat shakes and the camera pans over to reveal like a 100 orcas lining up to ram it. The boat cracks in half and you hear their screams get swallowed up by the waters and then it just cuts to the end credits. Thinking about this for absolutely no reason.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Was shunned for natural variations Although not very common Used to deal him verbal abuse His nose was a typical deviation All of the other reindeer They never let poor Rudolph Then one foggy Christmas Eve Corporate came to say Assimilate to the majority group "Rudolph your accusations have been rejected outright, but we will exploit your labor tonight!" And all of the reindeer who harmed him Never saw any penalties Now Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Is fundraising for therapy Background image: Rudolph leading Santa's sleigh with a green & red border
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Safety Tips for Anxious Health Insurance CEOs: Don't make your fortune by standing between sick people and their medicine Oops, too late, just quit your job Distribute your ill gotten wealth to the impoverished masses Rally against for-profit healthcare systems Help build an equitable society so there are no more desperate people resorting to such desperate measures.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: The only tragic thing about the United Healthcare CEO is that it functionally changes nothing. A new CEO will just replace him. I wish fantasy realm rules applied and once you've defeated the Evil Overlord all of their wicked misdeeds were automatically undone.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: The only Holy Trinity I believe in is: Me (the Father) My Body (the Son) My Brain (the Holy Ghost) Except it's usually My Body & Brain who are sacrificing me. And yet I bestow my blessings on them anyway. Because of Grace or whatever.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: My heart goes out to everyone affected by the tragedy of having a health insurance company compromise your life by rejecting your claims. I am devastated for everyone denied the healthcare they need and deserve because an avaricious middleman industry inserted itself between you and your medical team. I am significantly less moved by someone experiencing a predictable consequence to leading a life of cruelty and greed.
Season's Shriekings Tis the season to start screaming and refuse to stop (image: Plum is dressed in a silver top and red mesh skirt. they have horns and roses in their gate and point one clawed finger towards the camera. the background is green and snowy)
Tumblr User existennialmemes: You're worried about seeing a penis in the women's bathroom. I'm worried about why you're looking at strangers' genitals in the women's bathroom. We are not the same.
POV: you just got isekai'd into a miraculous nightmare world and now this thing won't stop trolling you (a collage of three pictures of Plum dressed as a purple and pink cat)
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Very cool of South Korea to demonstrate how to resist a dictator, so the difference will be stark when our legislative branch doesn't do that. Tumblr User existennialmemes replied: I admit I do not know a whole lot about this situation, but from what I understand President Yoon (who is reportedly very unpopular) pulled the "My enemies are out to get me, the state cannot be trusted I am declaring martial law" And the people and the parliament were just like "absolutely not." Widespread protests broke out and Parliament voted (I think unanimously) to overturn the martial law order a few hours later.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Me: Hey, we need to go do this thing right now My Brain: You mean, it's urgent that I switch tasks immediately without delay? Me: Yeah it's... oh no- My Brain: [sets my body in the upright and locked position] well, if it's important enough to do immediately then it's important enough to stew about in an immobilized panic instead.
Tumblr User deviantplum: I can't lie anymore. I am not down for "anything" I am down for these activities in particular: Hanging out with cats Smoking weed with my tits out Eating snacks Watching cartoons Any combination of the above For all other inquiries please try elsewhere.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Christmas Movie, but it's from the perspective of Jesus Christ, who sneaks back to Earth, and is immediately confused why everyone is celebrating his birthday in December. He wanders into a Megachurch on accident, thinking it was a mini mall, and hears an evangelist (who lives in a mansion) taking the Lord's name in Vain to guilt donations out of people. Then he gets arrested for rushing the stage and beating that guy with a whip. A significant chunk of the movie is just his elaborate escape from prison, wherein he starts a riot upon learning how cruelly the prisoners are treated by a blasphemous carceral system. The movie ends with him using God Magic on the president of the US, and being formally declared the Anti Christ by the Catholic Church Tumblr User existennialmemes replied: Also Jesus would absolutely be played by a Middle Eastern man, and there would be a scene where he's looking back and forth between a picture of Jesus™™ and his own reflection like "Ehh I really don't see the resemblance"
Plum is wearing a bright red crop top and short black shorts with a long black mesh skirt covered in stars. They have Ram's horns and flowers in their hair. they're holding a skull shaped chalice filled with red liquid and smiling towards the camera.
I'm sorry, my metaphor has gotten away from me, and if I don't go catch it, it will wreak havoc on the local ecosystem. Leaving a trail of disjointed references and unrelated anecdotes all throughout your dialogue options.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Genuinely hilarious that the phrase "Work Ethic" doesn't mean, like, actually remaining ethical in your business practices. It just means prioritizing your boss's income over your physical and mental well being, and has actually no bearing on "ethics" whatsoever. Tumblr User existennialmemes replied: I'm coining a new phrase, it's called "Employee Virtue." No, it doesn't mean being a virtuous employee. It means prioritizing your well being and stealing as much as you possibly can. Example: "Stacy has great Employee Virtue, she lied to her boss and got the day off, because she's so burnt out. Also she stole like 800 pens."
Tumblr User existennialmemes: We've reached the point in the year, where Time loses meaning and starts dripping down the walls and you're eating cookies for breakfast and fistfuls of meat as a midnight snack. You don't know what day it is, but you have the nagging suspicion that obligations are lurking nearby. And then suddenly it's January and everything is grey and you're expected to just instantly reconstitute yourself into a Person™ (Screenshot appears over a blue and white snowy background)
Here's a conversation starter to roll out while everyone is gathered for Thanksgiving: Is your religion a Spirituality or a Hate Group? Spirituality: "My religion provides me with a set of guidelines about how to conduct my personal life, the tenets of which apply voluntarily to me and other voluntary followers of my faith" Hate Group: "My religion provides me with a set of guidelines about how every person must conduct their personal lives, the tenets of which I must enforce on non followers against their will." Which category does your faith put you in?
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Yeah I've got BDE: Bitter Despair at Existence But you know what? I've also got RBF: Radical Belief in the Future. Things can get better. What can you do today to make something, anything, just a little bit better? Maybe a dollar in someone's cup or maybe reach out to a friend who's struggling, or maybe you just take a nap. Pick the smallest thing you can do, that will, in any small way, materially improve someone's suffering (including your own) and do it. And together we can become DTF: Dialectical, Transformative, and Free
This holiday season, remember Eat what pleases you Destroy what doesn't (Plum is wearing a tight, low cut red dress, with a crown of flowers and antlers, holding a sword over their shoulder.)
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Nothing feels real. You had to have noticed. Everything is a hollow distraction painted over the Horrors raging beneath. You wave to your neighbor. They smile at you. It does not reach their eyes. They resume shoveling soft, biodegradable plant matter into plastic bags. Because the leaves "look tacky." You commute thirty minutes to work in a metal cage propelled by small explosions. Stopping once to fill it with dissolved dinosaurs. And to fill yourself with the state sanctioned stimulant. A normal morning. Unfathomable suffering goes on, far away from you. "Better there than here" you think. Unfathomable suffering goes on, right outside your doorway. You politely avert your gaze. It doesn't have to be this way. It's not supposed to be this way. This planet has the resources for the entire globe to thrive. They are being mishandled by .01% of our population. We can have a better world.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: [extremely conservative voice] Big Government is when I'm asked to be courteous to the people around me. And Small Government is when The State kidnaps all the people I don't like.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: If you're looking for a sign: Yes, you do deserve a Little Treat. That was an Ordeal. You've earned it. reblogged by Tumblr User existennialmemes: "What's 'that'?" Whatever thing you've personally endured recently that makes you want a Little Treat Maybe it was a hard conversation or a bad day at work or maybe it was just that you woke up in this dystopia again. Whatever the case may be, you surely deserve a Little Treat for it
Tumblr User existennialmemes: Questions to Avoid if You Don't Discuss Politics How's the weather? Did you see the new Superhero Movie? How're you doing? What're your kids up to? How's work going? Did you get that medical issue resolved? Was traffic bad? Spoiler Alert: it's all politics! The thing you actually do not like to discuss is human rights.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: As we descend into The Holiday Season, please remember that it actually is offensive to wish somebody "Happy Holidays" right now. Because just look around, no one is happy. Try these Dystopia Approved alternatives instead: Incipient Holidays! May your Forced Social Obligations be brief! Tolerable Holidays! I hope your work schedule is merciful! Season's Shriekings! Caffeine and Comfort to you and yours!
Tumblr User existennialmemes: It's very hard to believe that a species of highly social apes, living on a planet capable of producing immense abundance, ended up in societies run by folks who would be rejected as cartoon villains for being too campy & too cruel
I am no longer Panicking at the Disco. I am now Dissociating at the Grocery Store. (the first sentence appears over a distorted disco scene. the second is over a distorted grocery store aisle.)
Tumblr User existennialmemes: [clears throat & steps on soapbox] This world is Bad But we could make it Good If our goal was meeting everyone's needs, instead of extracting as much profit as possible
Tumblr User existennialmemes: I am thirty someodd years old and I cannot be expected to just remember Reblogged by existennialmemes: There was gonna be more to that thought, but then I decided that's actually it.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: "Turducken" is not a recipe. It's an occult ritual designed to broadcast to the Universe, that you fear no god, because you are clearly the most powerful Creator.
Tumblr User existennialmemes: I think we all knew bluesky was going to win the Twitter Wars and be crowned New Twitter. Because their logo is the obvious spiritual successor to the sadly extinct Twitter Bird, which was overhunted by billionaire.
Tumblr post from existennialmemes: I tried Domestication, but it has not worked out, so I will be returning to the woods and going Feral. If you need me, stand outside with treats and try pspspsing