Oops! All Jazeera

@fakehappy.monster

440 Followers 511 Following

He/him. Rated R for indiscriminate gunplay, profanity directed at children, and a scene of swindling

Carharrt’s flagship store in downtown Detroit. It’s an old building with tasteful signage and a cool mural along the side wall.
Drawing of Pennywise, the clown from Stephen King’s IT, specifically the version from the recent film adaptations. He holds the strings of a number of balloons in one hand, and the Babadook’s hand in the other. The Babadook looks incredibly happy. They are strolling somewhere together.
US stamp depicting Goofy, Mickey Mouse, and Donald Duck, thus confirming they are all legally dead.
A probably famous painting of Lenin addressing a crowd, though I do not know its name or the artist. Above the image is text reading “Me telling the local methheads about all the precious metals that can be found in a data center.” The word “precious” is misspelled, but I cannot bring myself to reproduce the error here
Screenshot of a headline that reads “Man sucked into Frontier plane engine’s disturbing cause of death and ID revealed.” Actually it says “distubing” because this is not a news site that gives a shit
The same image as in the original post, showing Karl Marx, but I’ve replaced the original quote with “Look for the helpers,” for reasons I cannot really articulate except to say it’s really funny to me.
Elle @centristmum.bsky.social • 8m They're uncomfortable to read, don't fit in a handbag, take up loads of shelf space and are more expensive. It's like "what if books, but worse”
Photo of Barry Keoghan playing Ringo Starr. He has a lost look in his eyes, a big wig, and a prosthetic nose so cartoonishly large that it has to be derogatory in nature
Bart Simpson standing behind somewhere around twenty megaphones lined up end to end, pointed out a window.
Cover of the amazing and very tall calendar “a year of the sidsons.” It is helpfully marked in big numbers as being for the year 2026.
A photo of January from Sid’s “A Year of the Sidsons” 2026 calendar. The background includes a pink Christmas tree and a blazing fireplace fire, with the mantel decorated with various Christmas decorations
A photo I took of Pringles cans with the, I hope, limited-edition flavor “Beer Can Chicken.” It features an image of a fully, I would actually say way overdone, cooked chicken with a can of Miller Lite awkwardly photoshopped behind it. It’s almost like they’re evoking the IDEA of how you cook beer can chicken, but it’s all wrong. It’s all very unattractive.
The Cenobite known (unofficially) as Butterball, from the Hellraiser movies. He’s really kind and helpful if you happen to summon him with the Butter Configuration
New York Times Connections puzzle. In the top row, “Third,” “Sister,” and “Lovers” are consecutive squares. In the second row, “Big” and “Star” are consecutive squares. Hell yeah
Screenshot of Philip Bump’s excellent “How to Read This Chart” newsletter, showing that the charts he’s created are difficult to read in dark mode, as they have a transparent background. The text and some other elements in the charts are dark on dark.
That the NSA catfished him on Facebook by contacting him while pretending to be actress Michele Rodriguez, whom Chansley identifies as "my celebrity crush"
Screenshot from a fighting game where Dr. Doom is dramatically revealing he’s concealed-carrying a gun
A Halloween decoration in a frame that says “How strange it is to be anything at all” in a decorative style that makes me pretty sure a designer convinced their boss it was a quote from Alice in Wonderland. It’s flanked by two black flasks with crystal stoppers.
Screen from fighting game Marvel Tōkon: Fighting Souls, showing Dr. Doom very dramatically (of course) revealing he’s wearing a hip holster. And there’s a gun in it!
A white variety of the anemone flower. This one is commonly called “The Bride.” Its petals are white, and the center has a touch of green. The joke here is that Daniel Day-Lewis can disappear into a role so completely that he could actually turn into an anemone. It’s a really funny joke.
Screenshot of a preview thumbnail for a YouTube video called “Showing another therapist Duality.” The channel is called “HeartSupport - Music to Improve Your Mindset” and there is a fundraiser label. The thumbnail shows the band (and the word) Slipknot on the left, as well as the word Duality above them. In the middle is a woman in headphones making some kind of eye-rolling, smug face, and finally there’s a second woman in headphones on the right, looking both furious and hurt, as though a loved one has just betrayed her.
The New York Times’ Spelling Bee game, where you must come up with different words using the seven provided letters (and must always include the highlighted letter in the middle). I have submitted the word “thicc,” which meets all the game’s requirements, but I’ve gotten a message reading “Not in word list.” You fucking monsters. You depraved children of shit.
An engraving by artist Camille Gilbert, showing two men in 18th-century gentlemanly garb being knocked backwards by an electrical experiment gone fatally wrong.
The right-hand trunk and taillight area of a black sedan. At the bottom of the trunk window is a sticker reading “PRIAPISM” in a white, stenciled typeface.
A panel from the Calvin & Hobbes comic strip. Calvin has shoveled the snow from his house’s front stoop all the way around the back of the house before connecting to the driveway (which is only feet from the front stoop). There is an impassibly large pile of snow left directly on the stoop itself, in front of the door. “If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again,” Calvin explains to Hobbes.
Fox News image of “Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Promises,” with a headshot of Mamdani looking as evil as they could make him (i.,e., just really handsome). I have replaced whatever cool promise they listed with the text “Citywide speakers playing the Bubble Bobble theme 24/7.” It’s a lovely, uplifting tune and I think it would brighten the spirits of all residents
Ted Bundy — who confessed to murdering 30 women before being sentenced to death by electric chair in 1989 — moved to Tacoma with his mom when he was just 3, to a neighborhood where smokestacks "filled the air with redolent particulates.
A slipcase I mocked up for an imaginary and unlikely Criterion release of 1995 smash-hit film Hackers. The cover (front and back) is beautiful, includes suggestions for bonus features, and available for free to Criterion when they get their asses in gear
Photo of a logging truck on a highway, with a large banner advertising the new Final Destination movie across the back. I’m not sure if this image is real, but it’s brilliant if it is. Easily the most memorable disaster that starts one of these movies is in Final Destination 2, where a log falls off one of these babies on a highway, going right through someone’s windshield and causing a massive, fatal pile-up
Camila Mendes as Teela, or at least that’s what her costume makes me think, and some giant himbo as Prince Adam but wearing Earth clothing. The Adam guy is loosely holding an absurd but I guess accurate version of the He-Man sword, but in a way no one would ever hold a sword. They are both staring in confusion at something outside of the shot, as various people in normal clothes mill around behind them. They seem to be in a park in a city. A city that is definitely on Earth.
Editor's Note: This story has been updated after the new pope's older brother denied reports he is a Cubs fan.
Two panels from Watchmen, though I’ve altered Dr. Manhattan in the second panel to look like he’s wearing a pope outfit. Text reads: Panel 1: MAY, 2025... ... STILL REELING FROM THIS MORNING'S ANNOUNCEMENT, POSSIBLY THE MOST SIGNIFICANT EVENT IN RECENT WORLD HISTORY. WE REPEAT: THE POPE EXISTS! AND HE'S AMERICAN. Panel 2: ACCORDING TO PENTAGON SOURCES, THIS ASTONISHING INDIVIDUAL CAN CONTROL ATOMIC STRUCTURE ITSELF. WE SEE HIM HERE DISMANTLING A RIFLE WITHOUT TOUCHING IT...
A very happy Billy Corgan shaking hands with Bozo the Clown
Picture of a worried-looking train named Henry, from the Thomas the Tank Engine show, in a tunnel that people are walling up. I don’t watch this shit but I think he went into the tunnel and refused to come out? Maybe wouldn’t give a reason? And so the humans just bricked him up in there and kids watched this. Maybe your kid
Cover of “Not Brand Echh” depicting Marvel superheroes reacting with horror to Frankenstein’s monster
The domino meme, where the starting domino is labeled “Kid reads that Martian women are naked all the time,” and the big final domino is labeled “We live in Hell.”
Closeup of the first original photo, showing cuff hemming on the sleeve that makes it look like the fitted sheet for a bed. Next to the hand, on the skirt, is stitching that I can’t understand at all, almost like she drunkenly attempted to add a pocket? Honestly so confused
Screenshot of my Bluesky timeline , showing Sasha’s Retrobytes skeet that it’s Panzer Dragoon’s birthday (the skeet I’m replying to!). The very next skeet above it is one celebrating singer Neneh Cherry’s birthday.
Photo of a Yankee Candle Whole Home Air Freshener, “macintosh” scent, on a store shelf. It’s a flat, bumpy thing a little larger than your hand, and you’re meant to affix it to your furnace or A/C filter so your home’s air is constantly circulating through it. And as it passes through, it is infected with Yankee Candle stink.
Domino meme, with the starting, little domino labeled “Vin Diesel writes Chronicles of Riddick.” The big domino at the end is labeled “Dame Judi Dench buys Cheetozard.” See, Dench was in Chronicles, and Vin Diesel got her to play Dungeons & Dragons while they were making it. So the idea here is that she became a huge nerd after that. It’s really funny.
Leaked or at least improperly published MCU concept art of the upcoming Avengers movies, featuring Star Lord, Wong, Kate Bishop, Cassie Lang, Scarlet Witch’s two kids, and Ms. Marvel sitting around a big table in some kind of bar. On the far right, behind Ms. Marvel, the mutant Doop is floating and looking on disapprovingly. He has the big X-men logo on his belly and everything. I love Doop so much
[Pre-Chorus] It might appear like I'm driving straight for the moat Oh, baby, but it's one of those cars that turns into a boat
Screenshot from the Wikipedia article on the Y chromosome: “In 1996, it was found that male fetal progenitor cells could persist postpartum in the maternal blood stream for as long as 27 years. [95]”
Screenshot of the iconic scene in the 1981 film Scanners where a man’s head explodes. I’ve chosen a frame early in the explosion where the head is just kind of inflating like a balloon and has yet to erupt into fountains of gore, simply because some people probably don’t want to encounter that unexpectedly in their feed. I would, but there’s something wrong with me.
Photo of McDonald’s failed “reboot” of its Hamburglar character. Instead of a cartoon character, he is just a man with a five o’clock shadow, in an odd costume of a black trenchcoat and fedora, plus the classic robber’s domino mask and what I guess is an old-timey horizontally striped prison shirt. He also has a loose, ugly tie I think is decorated with hamburgers. And he’s wearing vinyl-looking red gloves. He looks at the camera, holding up a burger in one hand and holding a finger to his lips with the other, in the universal “shhh” sign. He seems reasonably attractive underneath the costume, but the entire effect of the photo is really creepy.
Screenshot of ChatGPT where I’ve asked “How many Rs are in the word strawberry?” and its response is “The word ‘strawberry’ contains two Rs.”
Photo of people in NASA’s control center hugging and celebrating. I believe this is from when they landed the Curiosity rover on Mars
Mia Goth in the film Infinity Pool. She is grinning an absolutely terrifying grin, teeth bared, no eyebrows, and she is leaning forward and pointing a gun off to the left side of the screen. The overall effect is pretty unnerving.
Snow falling on the back window of my car. It looks weirdly like really thin rice.
Homer Simpson thinking “Teslas can be exchanged for goods and services.” On the show, he had been thinking of money rather than Teslas, and was upset he had $20 when what he actually wanted was a peanut.
Nancy Pelosi and other feckless Dems wearing kente cloth and kneeling, which I take is the sort of bold resistance we’ll be seeing again and again for the rest of our fucking lives
Screenshot of that stupid GIF you’d see in reply to what felt like every liberal joke post on Twitter. A woman does a spit-take of laughter while holding up a mug to her face. Might be Jennifer Lawrence? She wears a light mint green top with a small mike clipped to it, so I assume this was on a talk show or something. Who cares
Keefe and Kelvin from the HBO series The Righteous Gemstones. They are buddies but maybe something more. I can easily picture Keefe, a former Satanist made impossibly strong by his love of Christ (or probably just Kelvin) gently putting his buddy to sleep like this. It’s just very much in line with their relationship as portrayed on the show
Painting by Wayne Barlowe that appears in his book The Alien Life of Wayne Barlowe, a collection of his work. It’s a frightening figure against a black background, lit as though by firelight. The head is formed of various skulls of creatures recognizable and not, and the torso is open, full of what could be intestines or a snake, and some sort of central red organ. Small eyes appear to peek out of the torso. The figure holds out something like a bloody rock in one hand, while holding up the other hand in what may be a beckoning gesture.
Screenshot of an infamous iPhone commercial from 2012 in which Zooey Deschanel asks Siri if it’s raining, rather than look out her window
A poster created by Twitter user @leon of some kind of teen speaker convention, where everyone listed as a guest or performer has a bizarre name like “Chris Chris,” “Chris del Chris,” “Cool Shirtman,” or everyone’s favorite, the host named Curbes Lurb
Box of Rainbow Krispies cereal, featuring a “fruity flavor,” and depicted on the box with multiple colors, and a sort of thick flake shape that seems decidedly unlike the regular Krispies form. The Krispies elves, Snap, Crackle, and Pop are all standing around the bowl of cereal with big smiles and hands up as though saying “tah-dahhh!” There is a rainbow wrapping around the background.
Screenshot of text from the article linked in the original post: “FLIKR LLC, the manufacturer of FLIKRFIRE Tabletop Fireplaces, is no longer in business and has not agreed to provide a recall remedy for consumers. Seera Creative LLC, the prior manufacturer of the FLIKRFIRE fireplaces, is also no longer in business.”
Screenshot of the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode where they watch “Space Mutiny. On the movie screen is the film’s himbo hero; I don’t even recall the character’s actual name because a running joke in the episode is the crew yelling absurd macho names for him like “Blast Hardcheese” and “Flank McBrickgroin.”
“Thank you Mario but our princess is in another castle” screen from Super Mario Brothers, but the words on the screen are lyrics from the Mountain Goats & Kaki King song “Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle”: Just when my solitude was closing in I heard a howl like screeching tires And I told you the one thing I know how to say Through the bright ringing drone of 8-bit choirs