Fart To Table

@farttotable.bsky.social

459 Followers 451 Following

Destroying my mental health one doom scroll at a time!

A quart sized plastic container with lid, commonly used by chefs to be filled with coffee and maybe other alleged things
They investgsfad ze fn morth. -Found Nutttiel!!! So 16 yea old chsges isntld. It is no trst t be blle t choose ves trnitsos goolze. Watcha want me to do- Burrat cryin!! NO FUN (underlined) - NOT WORTH IT!! It looks and reads like someone who was trying to remember a dream they had while also pretending to know what LSD is like
A gray cat sitting on all fours. She is sitting on top of a box that's on its side. It's important to note that she knocked it over in order to sit this way.
A very glamorous and cozy gray cat with naturally hooded eyes that every make up influencer would envy. She is cuddled on a black blanket and staring beautifully at the camera person, who is obsessed with her.
This picture details a sponsored LinkedIn message: (In bold) Remote Projects for Improv Acting Professionals $74/hr (end bold) Hi Elizabeth! I'm Alex with the Handshake AI team. I'm reaching out because I think your experience would make you a great candidate for our Improv Actor- AI Trainer position in our fellowship program. The Handshake- AI Fellowship is a program that connects professionals like you with top AI labs where your expertise helps challenge and improve AI models- pushing them beyond the limits of internet-trained data. (In bold) What to know: Competitive pay $74/hr Fully remote work No coding skills needed 10 minute application + training Join a priority poolmfor AI lab projects (End bold) This is a way to apply your improv acting expertise in new ways, all while earning extra income. Let me know what you think! You can apply here
A gray cat sitting comfortably on a gray blanket. She is looking forward with glamor so effortles that it causes one to question all known truths.
Merriam Webster: Your 2026 Word Melancholic
A gorgeous gray cat who is very cozily nestled on a red blanket. She is facing towards the camera with yellow/green eyes and is perfect.
The meme where trump is open mouth yelling at a child who is voluntarily mowing the White House lawn
The edge of a bed and clearly no kitty tail coming out from under the bed. If anyone has seen my cat please let me know.
A very stunned (and stunning) looking gray cat sitting on top of a black blanket. She is holding up her paw, displaying her toe beans front and center. Her ears are also very silly.
A projection of Clue: The Movie 40th Anniversary Screening Hosted by the original Miss Scarlet Lesley Ann Warren Not pictured: the amazing costumes in the room
A gray tortie resting sleepily on a gray comforter. She is diligently watching me (out of frame), but is so comfy on my husband's leg that she can't stay awake. She loves to keep an eye on hooligans, and I clearly am one. There is a mess in the background but that can be ignored.
A beautiful gray cat who was previously asleep in a circle, but has stretched out her feet to become long. Her tail is draped over the feet for added comfort and class. She is also softest girl in the world.
A text exchange between me and my best friend. Friend: you could tell my breast milk from taste right? Me: it would have hints of aperitif (this message has been hearted)
A sign saying "we are empty (empty is underlined) but also...for SALE!!" The sign is on top of a Pokémon card wrapper and under a Lapras
A gray cat cuddling with a leg that is under a maroon blanket. The cat's back legs are stretched outwards to make sure she is taking up as much space as possible. The human on the couch is happy to give up the space to the cat even though she doesn't have a choice in the matter.
A beautiful and glamorous gray cat looking at the camera with a mixture of contempt and comfort. She is lying down on top of me, who is under a maroon blanket. She is also on top of my bladder, which is full and of no concern to the glamorous cat.
A cardboard sign that reads: didn't know the leeches were returning to medicine. "Leeches" has an image of blood dripping from the words. There is also a picture of a leech with donald trump's hair.
A screenshot from tiktok stating the following: Sorry, TikTok isn't available right now A law banning TikTok has been enacted in the U.S. Unfortunately, that means you can't use TikTok for now. We are fortunate that president trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned!
A gray cat laying down on a red blanket with bunny feet, belly showing. She's looking up like she has just been caught trying to steal the one true ring. There is a tiny teef.
Cropped screenshot from an article about Eric Adams saying "corruptions entirely unrelated to today's indictment. Today's indictment is most about how much Eric Adams allegedly loves Turkey.
A limo service bus with the doors open outside of a dunkin donuts. About 8 people went on the bus with dunkin so it wasn't like the driver made a quick stop. I'm assuming they made a stop at dunkin because it's a limo service and therefore it's fancy.
A very old puggle literally drooling over a lobster roll. He will routinely find people barbecuing and sit there barking
A gray kitty snuggling so hard in the arms of someone who will soon betray him
AP Fact Check No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch Pictured: a man named JD Vance who, if he hasn't fucked a couch is probably going to try it
A gray kitty who is 11 today. She is looking right at the camera the way a professional would. She is sitting on a couch next to a pillow the same color as her. The pillow lacks the silliness of Marcy's belly.
A gray calico on her back, with bunny feets. She is on a white comforter and is eagerly awaiting pets. This is a trap. She had just woken my husband up for pets, and he thought it was me.
Just an ordinary picture of window blinds. There definitely isn't a gray cat peering through them next to a red tote bag she always keeps with her when she's spying on the neighbors.
A gray kitty on her back, fully displaying her belly. All her feets are spread out in a silly and lewd way. She looks like she wants her belly pet, but it's a trap.
It's difficult to see, but there is a very sneaky gray kitty peering around the couch. This kitty is a ferocious hunter (not really), and very soft (very much so). I am in danger (not at all unless you count cuddles).
A beautiful gray kitty finding her light like the model she is. She's on a maroon blanket watching my husband play Palworld. She is soft and good.
A close-up picture of a very cozy gray kitty. Half of her face is shumshed against my leg. The other half is full covergirl glamor. (Not pictured: soft)
A gray kitty with her paw to her face looking shocked and appalled.
January 6th and 7th on a calendar featuring Bob and Linda Belcher. The burger of the day is "A Horseradish to Watercress Burger"
Headline that reads, "man arrested after selling farts in a jar without a vending license."
A gray kitty laying down on what I thought was my pillow, but it's apparently hers.
A fluffy, gray kitty glaring at me while cuddling with my husband, not me. She has a clean butt (not shown) despite her protests.
Me and my now husband drawn as Bob's Burgers characters, while holding lightsabers
A gray cat with a cream colored chin looking intently at the ceiling. My upstairs neighbors are fighting about something, but it's unclear since they're rudely not ennunciating. Not pictured, chirping birds outside, which the kitty is completely ignoring because she's shady
A small dog with a wheelchair and broken leg wearing a Whitehouse model and a model of the Washington Monument. It is adorned with I voted stickers and both Pride and American flags.
A gray kitty who has never been more annoyed at anything in her life. She's also purring right now, but she won't admit it.
Imagine a cartoon character was presented with a meal made by someone who is both incredibly proud of the end result, and also oblivious to the fact that they're serving the worst meal ever made. The cartoon character makes a face of resigned acceptance, and acknowledging to the audience fhay they know it's bowel poison. That's the face this cat is making.
A gray cat laying down, looking like she's pretending to be cozy, while still coming down from zoomies-mode. A tiny tooth is showing. She is not Soren's cat.
An adorable grey kitty with ears sitting on my footrest. She correctly assumes I'll stop working if I can't use my footrest. She will receive many cuddles when she's ready.
An adorable grey kitty with ears sitting on my footrest. She correctly assumes I'll stop working if I can't use my footrest. She will receive many cuddles when she's ready.
An adorable grey kitty with ears sitting on my footrest. She correctly assumes I'll stop working if I can't use my footrest. She will receive many cuddles when she's ready.
A Grey kitty showing off her belly with a smoulder that says "I know you're in a meeting but look at all this" and I did look
A kitty curled up in such a tight circle that you can't see her face at all. Does she have a face, who know. She is too cozy for a face.
Sign reads: these doors are for existing only thanks, management
Teefs
A cat posing while looking directly at the camera. Her face and attitude are like, "You get one and then I'm back to doing my own thing," and then did exactly that.
A sleepy kitty is on my legs on top of the covers and it's illegal for me to move. There are toe beans.